sentence starters: text posts i have saved, part 3.
tw: nsfw, religious imagery, violence.
❝ my workout goal is to lift everyone’s spirit ❞
❝ the human body has 7 trillion nerves and some people manage to get on every single fucking one of them ❞
❝ that moment of intimacy with the person who adjusts your seat belt on a roller coaster ❞
❝ i hate it when people ask “do you trust me” like …don’t call me out like that ……..the answer is no ❞
❝ cringe compilation of me submitting to the mortifying ordeal of being known ❞
❝ vampire vs. werewolf? no. vampire x werewolf. theyre in love ❞
❝ oh to wrap bandages around and put disinfectant on another man’s wounds as i catch his tender gaze and lovingly call him an idiot and tell him to be more careful ❞
❝ *nudges boyfriend at 3 am* pretty fucked up that we assume wall-e is a boy. it’s a robot. chad? wake up chad. listen. it’s sexless. ❞
❝ lmao you can’t tell me you DON’T have a crush on bowser that’s a lie everyone has a crush on bowser ❞
❝ you expect me to act like a normal human being? i’m wearing a turtleneck. ❞
❝ i think if you’re going to be weird on purpose you have to offset it with being nice. if you’re weird and mean i’m going to hit you with a shovel ❞
❝ what is art? is it something gay people do to get back at their fathers? maybe ❞
❝ why tf is mothman so jacked. like who u tryin to impress, huh, buddy? is it me? it’s me. i’m impressed. carry me away, mothman, and cradle me with your beefy arms against your rock hard 12-pack ❞
❝ why would i fuck a demon? simple, the status. imagine rolling up into hell already havin had ur back blown out by one of their own. imagine you and a gang of other losers standin at the gates of hell, they’re all crying, scared to death about having a pitchfork up their ass for eternity and you just walk into the arms of your sugar demon? legendary. ❞
❝ i dont think any of you understand how important i am to the plot. you can kill me off but everyone will stop watching ❞
❝ you think kindness doesn’t exist you fucking pathetic nihilist? how about you look into the big beautiful eyes of a cow? what do you think now? asshole ❞
❝ you know what? fuck this [turns into a biblically accurate angel] ❞
❝ you think you can hurt my feelings? i’ve been the least favourite in every single friendship group i’ve had since i was 8 ❞
❝ so true best tits,, i mean uh 😳 *averts eyes from your big chonka honkas* bestie ❞
❝ academia? like the nut? ❞
❝ i don’t “dress to impress” i dress to depress i wanna look so good that people hate themselves ❞
❝ due to personal reasons im evil now ❞
❝ i just want to say from the bottom of my heart i didn’t sign up for this shit ❞
❝ in light of recent events, fuck ❞
❝ dads will see their kids and be like “is anyone gonna emotionally damage that” and not wait for an answer ❞
❝ i accidentally showed some weakness earlier today it was disgusting i would not recommend it ❞
❝ god i am so tired of people throwing roses at my feet as i walk by ❞
❝ honestly if someone tenderly cradled my face i think at this point i would probably blackout ❞
❝ what, from the bottom of my heart, the fuck ❞