I haven't said a single word to you in 10 months.
This is the longest time we’ve gone without a conversation since we met. I haven’t said absolutely anything to you. Not even a “hello” nor a nod. I’m pretty sure we’re strangers to each other at this point. We’ve moved on and gotten further apart.
At this point, my bitterness is starting to dissipate. I can look back on moments we shared together fondly. When I look at some old pictures, I smile. I’m coming to terms with the finality of our break up. I don’t think we can ever be friends, but I at least want to say “hi” to you one of these days and strike up a small conversation.
But whenever I hear your voice in some of our old videos, it gets to me. It hits me really hard. When I was 16, I asked for a corded landline phone for Christmas. You would think a teenager would want new clothes, money, or electronics. But to me, that gift was the best one I received that Christmas. Now I could talk to you on the phone all night without having to worry about the wireless landline phone dying on me. The craziest part? We would sleep on the phone together almost every fucking night since then. It would be nice to randomly wake up at 3am in the morning, ask if you were still there, and hear your sleepy voice. It was the cutest thing.
I picked up the wireless phone in my room the other night before going to sleep. I laid down on my bed, put the phone in between my ear and the pillow, and closed my eyes. Memories started flooding in of my nightly routine with you. I can’t imagine how many guys would call up their girlfriend and talk to them every single night for hours on end. To think this went on for YEARS.
I took the phone off, put it back, and drifted off to sleep. This is how my nights have been the past 10 months. It’s different, but I’m used to it now.
