hey, look. stuff! @patrickc - Tumblr Blog

11/1/15

quick lesson in story structure

BREAKING: Dogs and Birds announce merger; Cats scrambling to make formal statement

John Business, Associated Press July 2, 2015

WASHINGTON (AP) — In a joint press conference held shortly after 9 am, leaders from both Dogs and Birds announced their unification, saying it was an effort to strengthen both organizations.

“We couldn’t be happier to formalize our partnership with Birds,” Mister Buddy Pickles, chairman of Dogs and a purebred Greyhound, said in the statement. “Together we will have some of the most respected and iconic animals in the industry working side by side, and we look forward to extending our outreach into new arenas. Woof.”

While detractors worry the merger may dilute the distinct cultures of both groups, Bird spokesman Waffles, a Lutino Cockatiel, was quick to address such concerns.

“Birds won’t start playing fetch just yet,” Waffles quipped, eliciting laughter from the press corp, “Both Birds and Dogs have a storied history and tradition that goes back generations. With this new union, we plan to carry on those traditions while also breaking new ground as we strive to win the favor of pet owners across the world.”

But despite the show of strength in this announcement today, many parties believe this merger is a last-gasp attempt to maintain relevance during a record-breaking stretch of pro-Cat sentiment.

“It’s no secret that the past few years have belonged to Cats,” Senior Editor Christopher Pullman of HealthyPet Magazine said. “Ever since Cats rolled out the LOLCATS Initiative, domestic felines have been hotter than ever and have shown no signs of cooling off.”

At the time of this article, Cats had no comment prepared. However, their response is expected to be swift, frenetic and followed by a lengthy nap.

Finally — when asked if they plan to change their names to reflect the merger, Mister Buddy Pickles was tightlipped.

“Rest assured, our Marketing teams are already hard at work.” He said with a sly wag of his tail, “We’ll have MEMES. Oh yes. And when they’re ready, we’ll show them to you.”

AP writer Doug Dinner contributed to this report.

#fun #news #procrastination

man, I love this.

good job

Shift your focus away from what you want (a billion dollars) and get deeply, intensely curious about what the world wants and needs. Ask yourself what you have the potential to offer that is so unique and compelling and helpful that no computer could replace you, no one could outsource you, no one could steal your product and make it better and then club you into oblivion (not literally). Then develop that potential. Choose one thing and become a master of it. Choose a second thing and become a master of that. When you become a master of two worlds (say, engineering and business), you can bring them together in a way that will a) introduce hot ideas to each other, so they can have idea sex and make idea babies that no one has seen before and b) create a competitive advantage because you can move between worlds, speak both languages, connect the tribes, mash the elements to spark fresh creative insight until you wake up with the epiphany that changes your life. The world doesn't throw a billion dollars at a person because the person wants it or works so hard they feel they deserve it. (The world does not care what you want or deserve.) The world gives you money in exchange for something it perceives to be of equal or greater value: something that transforms an aspect of the culture, reworks a familiar story or introduces a new one, alters the way people think about the category and make use of it in daily life. There is no roadmap, no blueprint for this; a lot of people will give you a lot of advice, and most of it will be bad, and a lot of it will be good and sound but you'll have to figure out how it doesn't apply to you because you're coming from an unexpected angle. And you'll be doing it alone, until you develop the charisma and credibility to attract the talent you need to come with you. Have courage. (You will need it.) And good luck. (You'll need that too.)

Justine Musk