Running On Fire

Odd and humorous happenings in my daily life. Occasionally the random thought and celebrity bash.

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If you're having a bad day, just remember things could always be worse...

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Wind Blown

Whenever I see a girl's skirt/dress get blown up, in my mind they always do a Marilyn Monroe. In reality, it's prob more like "m-effer!"

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Was Dick Clark A Secret Mayan?

If Dick Clark does not count in the new year, there might not be a 2013. If this is true, then maybe the Mayans were right...

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Sponsored by Energizer

It's a shame that no one's replaced Dick Clark's batteries yet. Don't worry, there's still hope. 

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Just Don't Rip The Shirt...

I wonder if you grab a stranger by the shirt & yell ”who do you work for?!”, how many people do you go thru before you get a sincere answer?

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Keep Moving

I just saw an old man walking like he was still sitting in a chair. That's living proof that you shouldn't stay in one place for too long.

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Subtle Hints

Every time I try to fake whisper, it just sounds like I'm saying ”hospice” over and over again. 

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I Wish They Were Alive...

I wonder if morticians ever dream about doing what they do, just with alive people.

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Eff you, Simon!

What's worse than someone talking in the third person? Someone talking in the third person who's name is "Simon".

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Cobra Commander Will Win One Day

When I watched G.I. Joe, I always sided w/ Cobra. They were much cooler & a lot less annoying. Am I the only one?

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Do I Need A Wagon for an Apple Jack?

On cereal boxes it says "enlarged to show texture". Who's the idiot who thought Apple Jacks were supposed to be the size of golf balls?

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Hot Dog Eating Contest on the Big Screen

I'm not sure what ”The Hunger Games” is about, but in my mind it's a movie about eating contests.

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Act(or) Honesty?

Is it wrong to conduct your own acting lessons by going on blind dates & acting like a character you've made up? If so, I've never done that.

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Jehovah's Love The Doors

I wonder if any Jehovah's Witness' favorite band is The Doors...

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Bandit vs Popcorn

I feel powerful when I make popcorn. I always say "dance, popcorn, dance!"and it listens every time.

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Always Asking Questions

I always thought that The Who should have done at least one show dressed up as owls.

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Nervous Death

Apparently, "eating processed meat & red meat significantly raises risk of death". That doesn't sound good, especially for those who are nervous eaters.