âDo you believe in fairy tales, Rahim?â + âYou saved my life!â (lily & rahim)
1. âDo you believe in fairy tales, Rahim?â
Rahim stilled, exhaling a laugh with a bitter twist to it, that mirrored the curl of his lips. âNot anymore.âÂ
Maybe, when he looked at Lily, at the light and hope that was still inexplicably in her eyes, he wanted to believe. But he knew what a lie it was, and how cruelly that illusion would one day be shattered for her, just as it had been for him. That was the only thing that heartened him about their upcoming separation - at least Rahim wouldnât have to see it.Â
âThis is the Death Eatersâ world now,â he continued, voice harsh. âMy fatherâs. People like Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, the whole damn Order itself ... theyâre not invincible anymore. I mean, where are they now? Hiding away? Thatâs what this world is full of, people who run. Trust me on this one, alright? People leave. They always leave.â His mind wandered to his mother, somewhere in Alexandria. Itâd been years since heâd heard from her. Sheâd been the first to teach him, and now look at how well Rahim was following the lesson. Picking up and running and leaving the world on fire, a fire that his own father had set.Â
He had to run. He had to look away from Lilyâs face uplifted to his: afraid heâd see trust in him there, the way heâd noticed it slowly growing. He didnât deserve that from anyone, least of all her.Â
Rahim swallowed, the coldness in his words dissipating as his voice shook. âIf not worse. Thatâs all theyâre good for.â He looked back to her and felt his heart twist inside of him like a knife. It was impossible. But she looked ... so much like her, hair flaming brighter than anything Rahim had ever seen. Except for her eyes. The light in them was brighter still, a light heâd been dreaming of for years. A horribly familiar and miserable fury crept around his shoulders, as his eyes turned faraway. âThere was only one person I ever met who wasnât like that. She never would have given up. She never would have run.â The ache Rahim felt, half-grief and half-longing, knowing that was true. This Lily - his Lily, as heâd started to think of her as, for all he knew it was foolish - couldnât really be Lily Potter. She just couldnât. Fairytales like that, redemption like that, hope like that - it just didnât exist. His voice cracked. âBut sheâs dead now. And soon the rest of us will be too.âÂ
âExcept you and me. Weâre getting out of here. Call it a fairytale if you like, but thatâs the only thing you need to waste our time believing in.âÂ
2. âYou saved my life!â
He didnât think heâd ever felt so alive, so aware of his body as Rahim did now, his hand cupping Lilyâs cheek, thumb almost brushing against her lip. He hadnât known it was possible to feel so tender and so hungry all at once, leaning in closer, the distance between his lips and hers almost nothing at all.Â
Then he registered her words, registered who she really was, the truth of it at last. Lily Potter. Her touch would burn him as the undeserving. Rahim pulled back, abrupt, his skin still aflame where the contact between them had been lost.Â
âNo. No, I didnât,â he said, voice rising in tension. He couldnât stand the way she was looking at him. Like she wanted nothing else but him in the world. Rahimâs own eyes were still dark with desire, giving away exactly how foolish his heart had been. Again. âNot really. I should have done more. I should have gone with you. I donât know, anything. Anything at all, but let what happened to you happen!âÂ
If he hadnât already stepped back like heâd been burnt, the fury in his words would surely had blasted him back. They resonated around the room furiously, the anger heâd felt towards himself for years finally receiving an outlet.Â
What had almost happened between them ... heâd been wanting it for so long, these last few weeks with her. Even longer, he realised, with that same wonderful, horrible realisation all over again, because this was Lily Potter, and she was gloriously, thankfully, alive after all. And heâd fallen in love with her all over again.Â
And she was forever out of his reach.Â
He tried to collect himself, to still the thousand different emotions warring inside of him, to above all still the instinct saying, hold her close, touch her, youâve been waiting so long.Â
âYou donât owe me anything,â he said. What began as something mangled solidified into the detachment he had been practicing for years. It might hurt her, his coldness, but in the end, sheâd thank him for it, Rahim reasoned. His senses, that had been so alive only seconds ago, were already numbing. Heâd never been meant to have this. âNothing has changed. We just know now beyond a doubt that you really are Lily Potter. The plan is the same. We take you to the Order, safe and sound. And then Iâll go...â he paused, momentarily despondent. Though they now knew without a doubt sheâd find her family, there was still no one waiting for him. And the only person heâd ever truly wanted, heâd just pushed out of his arms. He could still feel her phantom touch. Probably always will, he thought bitterly, but in the next second was pathetically grateful for it. Itâd be something of her. Â
âIâll go where I need to go. We go our separate ways. Not long now.âÂ