Rincón de la Fangirl

Fangirleo de RotMHS/RotBB Español/English (poorly)

[pausanonsense]

I have been craving BaekCheong, girl, but like... Cheongmyeong falls first, you know? There's so much where Baek Cheon falls first and is pinning around and i love that but i'm stressed af these days and i need these two chaotic idiots being happy, i think everything is funnier if Cheongmyeong is the one all worried for feeling things and having to sort it out by himself first (without torturing Baek Cheon with the uncertainty)

The worst thing you can do to me is those fics where Baek Cheon is so in love with Cheongmyeong but that dude isn't over Tang Bo and that one is even still dead, i'm going to kms at least revive him, pleASE

I actually am also sightly insane for an idea i myself had in a sleep deprivation hallucination where Cheongmyeong falls in love with Baek Cheon and they get together all shyly because Cheongmyeong, for all he can do and knows, is only familiar with the worst of humanity but he doesn't know about those soft feelings and forms of affection, Baek Cheon is the one more emotionally intelligent, so he keeps expressing love in all the ways he can so Cheongmyeong can choose which ones he likes best

And then he keeps reflecting on this and how much he loves Baek Cheon and how weird is using that word for that feeling because is unlike anything he ever felt but he knows how to love because he loved Cheong Mun and Jin as his family and Hwasan as his home and...

And Tang Bo.

And that's the thing. He did love before but he didn't care, he didn't understand it, he barely even demostrated it. (TangCheong here can be unilateral or bilateral as you like) He doubts Tang Bo ever considered, suspected it, nothing, they were friends and brothers and the closest person to each other, but...

Is only now, until Baek Cheon, that Cheongmyeong can say that he knows how to love. To care, to protect and be protected. Baek Cheon tries to find him halfway everytime and even in this new relationship he's the one teaching Cheongmyeong and taking all his firsts. All of these moments that belong only to Baek Cheon now and he loves him loves him loves him so much.

And now he knows he loved Tang Bo too and it hurts so fucking much because is one more thing that he wasted in his first life like the time to train and every word of his sahyung, but also is so funny and stupid to realice now that he loved him and Tang Bo didn't notice either because he was supposed to be more emotionally aware that Cheongmyeong but is clear now that they both were two halves of the same idiot, none of them doing anything about those feelings, such children they were.

He has Baek Cheon now and he likes the closeness and their similarities and their differences, he likes that Baek Cheon cares so much for his hair and his beautiful face and even more beautiful sword and his stuborness and his eternally honeyed lips. He likes him when he's clean and brave and when he's a mess and stupid because his heart is pure and Cheongmyeong can trust him to point a path in the dark, even if it isn't the best one, but towards the correct place.

Tang Bo is a memory tinted pink now, a first love and he must be laughing so annoyingly in the heavens knowing that. But Cheongmyeong somehow is glad to not miss him for that, even if Baek Cheon can't replace Tang Bo, the truth is that Tang Bo can't dull nor overshadow the vision of Baek Cheon now before him.

Or something like that idk my mind is a mess heLP ME all interspersed with scenes where Baek Cheon and Cheongmyeong hold hands and get drunk and, specifically before the moment Cheongmyeong finally conects that he loved Tang Bo, a moment where Baek Cheon buys him another green ribbon because he bought one for himself and the vendor had one in that expensive-looking green that they seem to find only in Sichuan and thought that it would look nice in Cheongmyeong since he likes green and Cheongmyeong is all like oh fucking hell why do you torture me like this and Baek Cheon is like the fuck are you talking about and then Cheongmyeong goes to complain about it to Cheong Jin and cuts there

The scenes should be only about moments with Baek Cheon, there can be other people, but not flashbacks of the past to keep it ambiguous, only Cheongmyeong using brain cells around Baek Cheon and suffering about it

Oh my god i wrote this but not my fucking paper i need someone to end me oh my goooooddddd

[booyk]

midnight visitor

[pausanonsense]

I just read again the Tang Clan arc and look at these silly faces

In my headcanons the Tang Clan genetically can't give big smiles, soft smiles are ok, sometimes a little loopsided but cute- but big smiles are always too crooked, tense or with too much teeth, they forget to squint their eyes, excessively evil looking for an expression of joy(? Even when they are actually happy

Only a couple of people every generation smiles like normal humans, and those are considered rare beauties, like Tang Bo and Soso

[pausanonsense]

I completely forgot that Soso was this cool in the beginning, in the webcomic she's gasping and wheezing, but in the novel she was running and brewing tea

She's such a noble lady, i love her so much.

Something i noticed since my first read and find endlessly endearing is how she is really representing feminity in the novel.

Yu Iseol does not represent feminity. She's a woman alright, but that's it(?) It doesn't really impacts her because she doesn't identify with her genre but with her purpose ("don't think of me as a woman"), she's a soldier in that sense, androgynous! She has no closeness to neither men or women (the novel says that she has sagos) and doesn't care about how others percieve her. Once Cheongmyeong comes to the picture, even the ones that percieved her as "the prettiest girl" forget that because she acts openly crazy xD and is one of the strongest. Even at the times she encounters sexism (either hostile or condescendig), it doesn't matter differently that the clasism everyone from Hwasan encounters

But all of that matters to Soso!

Soso is the real and only girl representation because she deals with problems that no one else cares nor have no idea about in the novel like the marriage thing, the filial piety she owes to Tang Gunak, the use of her own personhood to honour her clan, the meaning of her appearance in politics and socializing, the fact that she recognizes Yu Iseol as some kind of love rival (social dynamics no one else knows), even in late chapters things like sexism from the Namgung or how people percieves her since she changed her appearance- she notices those things and responds to it.

Even when she is a really good fighter, her priority is her caring role as a physician (a little agressive, bur caring anyway). That's also why she's better that anyone at letting others protect her, she knows where her strengths excels and that the battle extends beyond the enemy's presence. She's not a soldier, she may be a fighter, but her identity goes beyond the sword, it includes the life she protects and saves, her community, her family (both the blood one and the choosen one)

Also she's a girls's girl, a daddy's girl and an older sister, she's so girly, i love her soooo. I like to think that Yu Iseol sees her and comes to like the fact that she's also a woman, that their friendship/relationship (either anyone takes them as a romantic ship or not) is different from the way they live with the boys because Soso teaches her to be affectionate physically, to care for her hair and that even if being a women doesn't make them stronger than men, it also doesn't make them less

(Also as a headcanon- i just love the idea of Soso being a full lesbian, even when she was pursuing Cheongmyeong, she was doing BUSINESS!! But she doesn't consider Cheongmyeong can be uninterested in women because she couldn't be uninterested either. She's like "women are more attractive than men, everyone thinks the same, amirite?" "no, Soso, some people actually like men" "ew why")

Idk dude i just love my girls, they're so precious, i remember being indignated in the webcomic when everyone was supposed to be there and Yu Iseol was behind some letters, stop, she's a ghost alright, let her fade in the background i guess, but you can't do that to Soso!

Behold indeed

[pausanonsense]

Oh my fucking god, those ARE BRANCHES

THOSE ARE LITERALLY PLUM TREES WITHOUT FLOWERS

THEY'RE LIKE BLOOD STAINING THE EDGES OF HIS CLOTHES I'M KMS

He has two hands tho, theory about the profanation of Geomjon's body rebuffed!

[pausanonsense]

Today my mind is being consumed by the thought that, before the war, Cheongmyeong must have the most beautiful sword ever.

I have been collecting fighting descriptions in the novel and a recurring theme is that Hwasan's sword is dazzling, striking and magnificent, feints with beautiful and swift movements, not too fast but seeming fantastical

However, any narrative of people seeing Cheongmyeong fighting seriously is like "terrifying, desesperante, suicidal", he fights with everything in the line, for his life and everyone that depends on him. His sword in the second life is lethal and violent, still perfect but that's only appreciated when he wants to show something

He says that he had to reinvent himself and everything he knew about martial arts in the war. It physically hurts me to think about his beautiful technique being overwhelmed by the violence and dying itself of the brutality needed to survive, he, scared and desperate to change and learn and keep on...

Thinking about Geomjon... Without an arm... I love him...

[pausanonsense]

SOMEONE SAID THAT THE BEADS IN THEIR BELTS COULD BE THEIR REINCARNATIONS

MY THEORIES GETTING STRONGERRRR

I'm actually so feral for this art, there are so many things that i waNT TO TALK ABOUUUUTTTT

WHAT IS THE BLACK SUN IN THE SKY??? THE ENLIGHTEMENT????

Some are saying that this is Geomjon's body but i actually don't think so because why that one would be preserved? We can't see the left arm, but idk, the lack of arm wasn't mentioned and he was described a little in his new appearances, so- he also is supposed to be reincarnated in another body, i like the beads thing more!!

The fact that they're in a pool of blood is making me sick, we can't lose anyone from the main cast or i'm jumping out the window, i will take a little maiming tho!! That's sexy in a war context!!!

WHY IS CHEON MA SO BIG?? OR IS CHEONGMYEONG THAT LITTLE???? I NEED TO EAT HIMMMM

I feel like there is some symbolism with their clothes- pure white? Isn't that for mourning or the dead? He's soooo pale too!! Is this his final life? He has feelings?? He's taking revenge or something? Cheongmyeong describes him as empty and eerly calm, we don't know any of his motivations

The little decoration of his robes looks like blood but i also saw someone ask if those were like tree branches or roots? That would imply some sort of conection with Hwasan?? I can't fucking see more clearly, help. It also worries me in a way that in the cover with Jang Ilso, they're back to back, like... well, they were enemies, their worldviews opposed, they didn't see eachother face to face but in this they're almost shoulder to shoulder, looking their eyes, i'm so excited for any psychological development for Cheongmyeong even if it's for the worse(?

Sarotati pointed to me that Cheon Ma's hand is on Cheongmyeong's shoulder TnT the one that he lost as Geomjon, i don't think that arm will be cut off again, but that could either mean some sort of threat, the fact that he remembers the past or Cheongmyeong getting some metaphorical "limb" cut off like all these people that works as his hands or extensions of himself

I like the detail of his hair almost like smoke, i guess that means something about his dark arts, but i also now headcanon him as wavy haired, so handsome...

THEY'RE FIGHTING SO CLOSE IN THIS LIFE THO, IS CHEON MA WEAKER??? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE NERF THAT MAN I DO NOT LIKE THAT HE ISN'T TOUCHING THE GROUND, BRING THAT MAN DOOOWWNNNNNN

[hamsternamedmarinette]

Ostania's normalest family

The next day, at a hastily thrown together birthday party at the Forger residence:

[pausanonsense]

Never forget that Tang Gunak gave Cheongmyeong a split tongue in chapter 196

[pausanonsense]

UGGHHH THE COMIC DOESN'T DO THEM JUSTICE, CHEONGMYEONG IS SMILING IN THAT FLASHBACK, Tang Bo makes him smile in the worst of the war, they're best friends your honor (and my OTP!), they're happy togetheeerrrrr 😭😭😭

The comic does something different than the dialogues of the novel, but i really like to notice that Cheongmyeong learned some things secondhanded- Tang Bo was better articulated, capable of expressing emotions in words and, since he was having crisis and regrets already because he was more of a normal-social-terrenal person, some of the pondering was shared to Cheongmyeong. At that moment he didn't had the same conviction than Tang Bo, but was starting to agree with him "i'm not a good elder too/i should help too/i will do it (after the war) too"

Thinking about his different actions in his second life, i think he emulates Tang Bo more than we know

[pausanonsense]

I didn't know it was maid day some days ago! xD I saw so much pretty fanart in twitter, i love it allllll. I tried to join even late, but i don't think i did something very good this fast, ah

I love him tho, i like very much Geomjon with the long skirt! Looks a little like his normal clothes, he's so natural ajshgdagsfd

I tried to color this, but i don't like the result as much as the lineart by itself, so it's under the cut

[pausanonsense]

Still losing my mind over this

Oohhh maid Geomjon, let me hide under your long skirt just once, please just one chance please please plea-

I like that it looks like he's hurrying somewhere, you aren't supposed to go fast with heels but of course Geomjon doesn't care about that, he does whatever he wants and I love that for him

Hwasan Shinryong short skirt feels correct. He looks cuter and everyone wants to hire him, he's the best

After a while, frills are so easy to do, I love doing clothes, I need more dynamics like this to keep drawing. I need him in cute poses and more varied clothes that make me want to color, the maid dress has too little color

[pausanonsense]

I didn't know it was maid day some days ago! xD I saw so much pretty fanart in twitter, i love it allllll. I tried to join even late, but i don't think i did something very good this fast, ah

I love him tho, i like very much Geomjon with the long skirt! Looks a little like his normal clothes, he's so natural ajshgdagsfd

I tried to color this, but i don't like the result as much as the lineart by itself, so it's under the cut

[cows-quack]

“He is akin to a candle, illuminating the shadows by consuming himself. Eventually, the candle will exhaust its wick.”

[pausanonsense]

EVERY TIME I SEE THE CANDLE MOTIF I WANT TO DIE

[pausanonsense]

Doodling in class!! In post-its so no one cuestions me

I have this notebook with the most beautiful pages and i'm scared of ruining itttt, so i'm just sticking all my favorite drawings there, Tang Bo is such a cutie, i love him, he gets the butterflies! And Cheongmyeong the red flowers

[typicalityness]

I cry over them alot :((

[typicalityness]

Oh my our dongryong on the floor 😭😭

[karvakera]

so i got back into shonen slop (im loving the found family)

more of my beautiful princess below