▶ᥕᥲrᥒіᥒgs : mentions of drinking, depression, and suicidal thoughts as well. But all of these are light and not that heavily implied in the worst way.
▶ a/n : my brain was so juiced out writing this and it took like a week, longer than I expected. So it might be bad but at least I didn’t use AI. It’s also inspired by my favourite Filipino song, “Naiilang” by Le John. I suggest listening to it while reading! including Still Into You by Paramore
♫ filo song — Naiilang by Le John
♫ english — Still Into You by Paramore
divider credits : @/pixopix
You always try your best to stay in your lane, but you can’t help it as someone with attachment issues. So, what can you do? You love that, ”friend” so much. He’s someone you had grown up with starting from when you were in high school.
It’s not easy for you to let go, even you other friends know that.
Kai Kamal Huening; a guy so important for you, that if he told you to jump off a cliff — you would actually do it.
When you first met, you stayed together until afternoon — he first brought you with him to explore different places, then stargazed for at least half an hour before going home.
And damn, only the universe knows whether all that stuff meant something to him unlike you, that has had a crush on him for years. He never talks about your past with each other, but, well... he does talk a lot about his present with this girl he met a month ago — he never showed you who this girl was, but the only thing he told you was that her name is Ha-eun.
“Earth to Y/n!” Kai waved his hand at you, repeatedly calling your name out. You turn his head to him — surprised and out of your trance.
“Let’s go to the cafeteria.” He said as soon as you panned your attention to him, while smiling at you — his face a tad bit too close to yours. Your cheeks blush a faint, rosy pink. “a-... ah... Okay, then.” You responded between stutters.
There, at your table, you sat patiently — staring at him get food with a blank expression on your face, arm propped up to support your chin resting on your knuckles.
Kai then approached your table, smiling sweetly at you as he placed the tray down. “Eat up, it’s my treat today. No need to pay me back since...” He suddenly pauses mid-speech and bit his lower lip, as if to hold back another smile.
“since what?” You furrowed your brows, head tilted slightly to the side.
“Since she finally said yes to me! We’re officially together now.” Kai said with a bright smile on his face, arms propped down on the table with hands holding onto the cutlery tightly.
Your eyes widen from the sudden news, you gulped as your smile slowly vanished. “Did I say something bad? You look wronged,” He spoke up with concern etched on his face; his smile completely vanishes too, replaced with a frown due to the unpleasant tension.
You zone out completely, your world nearly stopping — as soon as he calls out your name 𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯, only did you snap away from your trance. “I’m sorry, something caught my attention,” You lied, Kai glances away with what almost looks like a frown.
“Let’s eat, I’m dying of hunger.” You broke the silence and reached for your cutlery, then proceeding to eat with the moment of stillness between the two of you. You ate the fancy-looking fries on your plate, which sadly, tastes more like depression and contemplation.
The day eventually ends with nothing but a heavy tension in the air between you. Hyuka drove you home with the loudest silence inside the car which gladly ends as he bid you goodbye with a bitter smile on his face before driving away immediately, before you could even wave back.
You walk into your building with your back in a slumped position that makes you look like a 𝘵𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘶𝘳𝘢 𝘴𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘮𝘱. When you finally reach your apartment that is somehow three floors and two apartments away, you tap on the keypad lazily with a bag of cans of beer you spent half of your barista salary on getting each from the vending machine — and of course, you throw yourself right onto your “emotional support couch” the second you slam the door locked.
Your face shows nothing but dread and disappointment, your mind throwing back to the very moment Hyuka told you about that stupid, “yes” of hers.
Just when you’re about to give up on life and cry to sleep drunk, you receive a message.
Your trio group chat with 𝘛𝘢𝘦𝘩𝘺𝘶𝘯 and 𝘉𝘦𝘰𝘮𝘨𝘺𝘶.
Soobin is a cam girl lover?! 🤣🤣 : “Y/n, lol... I know you’re crying right now. Kai told you about it, didn’t he?”
Taehyun 👀👀✌🏻✌🏻 : “allow the king to tell you himself, that man is LYING.”
Soobin is a cam girl lover?! 🤣🤣 : “Well, hold on. Don’t make him look like a bad red flag. Let us explain first.”
Taehyun gang 👀👀✌🏻✌🏻 : “He has been using the jealousy method on you to see any signs of you liking him back. He tells the entire tubatu it apparently isn’t working.”
Soobin is a cam girl lover?! 🤣🤣 : “We’ll come over to your apartment along with him, we’ll trick him into thinking we’re going to karaoke. Talk it out, PLEASE.”
You leave the two on seen, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴. You wake up at 9 PM from the two men at your door with delayed and definitely not synchronized knocking along with whispering that is somehow literally on loud volume, calling out your name — you get up from all the drama and eventually open the door, fearing what your neighbours would think of you having men at your door in the middle of the night.
There, stood the three. Your two, “helpful” friends with the love of your life locked in between them. He desperately tries to get out of their grip, but meets a deliberate push towards you. The push makes you both fall to the ground — with Kai on top of you.
He nearly gets dazed for a moment, staring you down before he stood back on his feet. “I, uh... I’m sorry,” You gulped and glanced at the floor, unable to hold your emotions back — you attempt to run away to your bedroom which ultimately fails by Kai grabbing your wrist to stop you just in time.
“y/n, let me explain first,” He pleads and reaches for your other hand, holding the two with enough grip that surely isn’t hurtful. “look, I...” before he could even say another word, you cut him off — “What is there to explain? That you lied to me 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘱𝘶𝘳𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦?” You spoke each word of your argument in a harsh, emotional tone, pulling both of your hands away like you’d have touched something filthy.
“I’m not mad that you lied about having a girlfriend. I’m just... disappointed. I expected you to be honest with your feelings, and what did you do?” You questioned his being, your heart almost feeling like it’s being stabbed with each word that comes out of your very own mouth. “You deceived and hurt me. I felt in some way that now you have the love of your life, I should keep my distance. Because my place in your heart will always be found nowhere inside, no matter how long we’ve each other.”
You can feel your emotions taking control already as your eyes slowly teared up, you look down to the ground — as if looking for something to distract and stop you for at least a second from arguing further. Before you could even glance back up, Kai cups your cheeks — holding your face up to look at him, he wipes your tears away with a thumb as he glanced down at you, his glistening eyes showing how painful your words are. Despite that, he gulps, and pressed his lips together before he pulled you in for an embrace.
“I’m... really sorry,” He whispered to your ear softly, his tone sincere and sounding of nothing but concern and love. You slowly raised your arms up to hug him back, and buried your face onto his shoulder to lean on. “Are you?” You questioned him again, “Yes, really. I’ll make it up to you tonight.” Kai responded and gave your forehead a soft kiss.
god i had so much fun drawing all of em || i had to indecisively picked them all ong💔💔 i had so many other characters to draw in mind but...my fingers...
romaincrisis
kaledo-art
dededos
origamiaround
janainaart
turnnoffyourmind
dailybridgerton
prguitarman
