Payton

Payton. Hockey Addict. Arizona Coyotes. Zbynek Michalek warms my heart.

[justleafstrash]

Hockey players at restaurants

Waiter: so you wanted the salad?

hockey player: well ya'know, i'a think that the salad is a good choice and uh I think that the chef has just gotta make a real good effort and uh I uh trust the famer, he’s been doin’ a fine job growing the lettuce ya know he’s got a real good thing goin,he really cares and I uh just gotta do my part and uh finish that salad.

[brandoncarlo]

the best april fools day joke was when the new jersey devils changed everythingto the new jersey angels.

[brandoncarlo]

anyone else remember this

[kuttithevangu]

If the ocean ever disappears DONT GO LOOKING FOR IT… go in the other direction

[purified-zone]

i know this sounds like a shitpost but isn’t this like, real advice regarding tsunamis

[kuttithevangu]

Yes this was about hurricane Irma it is not a shitpost

[eff-word]

This is actually really good advice so let me elaborate a bit: if you notice the tide is retreating very quickly at a very odd time of day, get as far away from water and as high up as you can. I live along the ocean and a long time ago we had a small tsunami and a relative of mine tells me how her father saw the tides retreating so he just picked her up and just ran, which probably saved their lives.

So yeah DONT LOOK FOR THE MISSING OCEAN just run away

[stuffandsundry]

ocean not lost, ocean is actually winding up to kick you very hard in the nuts.

[meanhockeylesbian]

So now that the Golden Knights are like. A thing. The western conference is unbalanced. To even things out, I would suggest deleting the Blackhawks.

[puck-to-the-face-deactivated202]

this is so unnecessary

[meanhockeylesbian]

So are the Blackhawks lol

[hockey-time-machine]

Paul Bissonette and the Coyotes playing some sort of warm up game

[zaof-deactivated20140807]

POUND THE FUCKING BODY

[payton-layne]

The NHL, everybody.

[zachparises]

hockey and chill more like hockey and don’t fucking touch me my team is on the powerplay

[meanhockeylesbian]

So now that the Golden Knights are like. A thing. The western conference is unbalanced. To even things out, I would suggest deleting the Blackhawks.

[puck-to-the-face-deactivated202]

this is so unnecessary

[meanhockeylesbian]

So are the Blackhawks lol

[intermissionpenguins]

03/02/17: Welcome back, PK! (x / x)

[brosillustrated]

dallas vs. new york • 03.02.17

[bohorvat]

Canucks 2017 Superskills (Feb. 26, 2017)

[tenminutemisconduct]

When you have a hockey dad, you’re gonna get chirped

[hail-to-the-goalies]

FIRST BEN, THEN HANZAL, THEN BOYLE, THEN JORDIE, WHAT’S NEXT???? Rask for Price??? Duchene and half of the Avs to Tampa??? Fleury to Philly??? Gabe to Disney Land??? to perform as a prince????

[beboycowbop]

national heartbreak league am I right

[midar1]

NHL Team Gothics

Anaheim Ducks: You turn on a Ducks game. The screen is white. It must be Ryan Getzlaf’s bald head, you think. You’re probably right.

Arizona Coyotes: You accidentally call them the Phoenix Coyotes. No one corrects you. You’ve never encountered someone with them as their favorite team.

Boston Bruins: Chara checks someone into the boards. That someone disappears into thin air. You wonder if they keep a list of people Chara has made disappear like that.

Buffalo Sabres: You constantly forget about their existence. Would they be more relevant if they had won the draft lottery and had gotten McDavid, you think sometimes. You forget about them again.

Calgary Flames: A Flames game gets interrupted. Someone yells that there’s a child on the ice. It turns out to be Johnny Gaudreau. Gaudreau eats a Snickers on the bench, and scores.

Carolina Hurricanes: The Canes are down 6-0. Jeff Skinner smiles at a ref. The Canes are up 6-0.

Chicago Blackhawks: Chelsea Dagger starts playing in the distance. Oh no. You start running. The music gets louder. Someone yells: “3 cups in 6 years”. You’re crying. You can’t hide.

Colorado Avalanche: Someone on their roster scores. You must be dreaming. They get a win. This can’t be real, you think. The world must be ending.

Columbus Blue Jackets: You blankly stare at the TV. You’ve lost count of how many times you’ve heard the cannon by now. You stopped counting after 10. Your team still hasn’t scored.

Dallas Stars: There’s a fan crying. “Our goalie situation is shit,” they sob. Another fan rubs their back. “At least Tyler Seguin is still hot,” they say. You roll your eyes.

Detroit Red Wings: You hear someone cursing Dylan Larkin. “Why can’t he score,” you hear them say. Crying, they cuddle up to their Yzerman hugging pillow.

Edmonton Oilers: “McDavid sucks,” someone says. Ten Oilers fans and Milan Lucic appear from nowhere. “You suck,” Lucic says and punches them.

Florida Panthers: There’s a ceremony before the game. Jagr is turning 70. Jagr scores the OT winner.

Los Angeles Kings: You make eye contact with Anze Kopitar. He looks dead inside. You nod at each other. What is Kopitar losing fate in, you think. You still relate to him.

Minnesota Wild: The Wild has a 10 win streak. It ends in a 0-1 loss to an irrelevant team. They start a new 10 win streak.

Montreal Canadiens: Carey Price breaks all his limbs. Therrien doesn’t pull him. Shea Weber positions himself on the ice. Al Montoya tells Weber to take the shot while maintaining eye contact with Therrien. Weber shoots. They hire their rivals’ old coach. You wonder if god is real.

Nashville Predators: You meet a fan. They’re crying. “How are you?” you ask. They keep sobbing. You notice they’re wearing a Weber jersey. You understand.

New Jersey Devils: You watch a Devils game. You can’t remember the score after it. You’re only convinced that Adam Henrique is not real.

New York Islanders: John Tavares gives an interview. He’s more plain and boring than you remembered. You can’t stop watching though.

New York Rangers: Henrik Lundqvist stops the game to have a photoshoot. The play continues. He’s not in the net. He makes a save. You don’t understand.

Ottawa Senators: “Ottawa Senators,” someone says. You have to think for a while. You remember Erik Karlsson. That’s it.

Philadelphia Flyers: No one has seen Jakub Voracek’s face in five years. His beard and hair just keep growing. No one knows how to stop the growth.

Pittsburgh Penguins: Someone accidentally says “Crosby.” In a minute, there’s someone with a peach emoji. You hear the words Phil Kessel is a Stanley Cup Champion at least once a day.

San Jose Sharks: Someone on their roster scores four times. Joe Thornton is somewhere, stroking himself. Despite the lead, Martin Jones sits on the bench with dead eyes.

St. Louis Blues: Tarasenko scores. Tarasenko scores again. You wonder if anyone else ever scores for them.

Tampa Bay Lightning: No one has seen Steven Stamkos in years. People wish for his return. No one expect nothing though.

Toronto Maple Leafs: “Matthews is better than Laine,” someone says. You keep quiet. It doesn’t matter if you agree. You’ll get attacked either way.

Vancouver Canucks: Henrik and Daniel Sedin have assisted each other in every goal they’ve scored. You don’t believe they’re two different people until you see them in person. Even after that you’re doubtful.

Washington Capitals: Ovechkin is in his spot. Everyone sees him, no one defends him. He shoots, he scores. In the distance, someone says: “Crosby is better.”

Winnipeg Jets: “Laine is better than Matthews,” someone says. You keep quiet. It doesn’t matter if you agree. You’ll get attacked either way.

[deepblooded-deactivated20180213]

trade season? more like