ᴡɪʟᴅᴇʀɴᴇss.

♢ ; * — var fhs = document.createElement('script');var fhs_id = "5252790"; var ref = (''+document.referrer+'');var pn = window.location;var w_h = window.screen.width + " x " + window.screen.height; fhs.src = "//s1.freehostedscripts.net/ocounter.php?site="+fhs_id+"&e1=&e2=&r="+ref+"&wh="+w_h+"&a=1&pn="+pn+""; document.head.appendChild(fhs);document.write(""); // we don't need promises of countless miles of new to live our lives a way we always thought we could. we can hold on. we leave in a moment. you know i'd go with you anywhere but you gotta get me out of here. you know that even if we l o s e it all we'll have something beautiful.

[amorsonhe-blog]

[daniellecampbells-archive-blog]

[daniellecampbells-archive-blog]

[paytonssimons]

daniellescampbell.

Fresh Friday!!! Hello weekend 😎 #TGIF 

[paytonssimons]

ardcnn.

Arden happens to really like compliments, for whatever it’s worth, and that smile of her’s stretches bigger over her features, palm resting on her tummy now as she keeps blue eyes trained on the other. “Like you said, we have to do what we have to do, and that’s about where I’m at with my job. I work at a bar and grill a few blocks from here. I’d give you the name, but it’s crap, and I’m not going to subject you to that misery.” She’s teasing, picking up on that playful air Payton had given off with her comment on her smile. Of course, she took it seriously as well; it was a flirtation, at least on some level, and she wouldn’t turn that away for anything. Not when she’s so damn interested. “You’re too pretty for a place like that.”

Seeing Arden’s smile stretching is contagious, Payton’s own widening within a matter of second; it’s contagious. “I’m sure it’s not too bad, but I can imagine it’s a whole lot better now that you’re a working there. I’ll have to come down one time, just so I can see you on the job.” Now she’s blatantly flirting without any knowledge of doing so, as if she’s too oblivious and naive to notice what flirting even is. "Oh, you think so? Thanks." If it's not already clear, taking compliments isn't something Payton is overly good at. She will give them out left, right and centre but getting them in return is something she's still learning to take. "Where would you say I'm more suited to work?" To be fair, she's not expecting an answer or a serious one more or less, but more carrying the playful banter. 

[paytonssimons]

kianhassan.

He’s just getting off from his shift at the bar, and he’s far more than a little tipsy. By some miracle, he’s made it almost the whole way home with only a few stumbles, a scraped knee and a scuffed boot. The worst part, perhaps, is the fact he was working the afternoon shift today, so the sun is barely even setting as he graces the entrance of Marlborough apartments with his presence. He lowers himself down onto the steps out front, feet propped against the concrete and numb limbs fumbling to open his baccy tin in the vain hopes of rolling a cigarette. He should probably go straight up to his apartment and sleep it off, but his head won’t shut up – it just won’t, even with the amount of alcohol currently flooding his system. He’s been doing the math, he’s been figuring things out for himself, and now he’s left scared and drunk and not thinking straight at all. He barely recognises the sound of approaching footsteps, and if they’re talking to him, then he misses what they say. Maybe they didn’t say anything at all, and that’s just his head again. It takes a lot of effort to open his eyes (he didn’t know he’d closed them), and he just can’t find the will to look up at them yet. Maybe they’ll go away if he pretends they’re not there. 

The last thing Payton desires at this very moment is to surround herself with people; her aching limbs are dragging her home from a draining day at work, her head thudding as the accusation of her being apart of something she wouldn’t ever dream of being a part of consumes her. Who dare spread around that she’s participating in an organised crime? Although it shouldn’t reel her up as she knows it’s not true, it has her blood boiling. How could someone, whoever it may be, be cruel enough to post such rubbish. Her mind is playing tricks on her, convincing her that those she has gotten close to or are in the process of getting close to, are now thinking differently of her, that they believe this article. Her body language oozes with insecurity, arms hugging her frame tightly and her head tilted down to the pavements, attempting to avoid any and even all forms of human contact. She can’t breathe. It’s as if she’s been winded and all of the air has been knocked from of her small figure. The sooner she’s in the confinement of her apartment the better. Still with her head tilting downward, she goes to step up onto the steps of the entrance of the building when someone’s feet come into view and as she lifts her heavy head, she takes note she’s standing right in there space. “Oh,” she manages to punch out, her nails digging into her biceps. “S-sorry, I didn’t see you there.” The moment she actually takes a second to collect herself (to the best of her abilities) she notices the familiar face and how they’re struggling. She wants to help, but she doesn’t know exactly what they’re doing or how she can be of assistance when in a sketchy mindset. “Are - Did you need some help with that?"

[pentupgossip-blog]

[paytonssimons]

click here for more!

[paytonssimons]

tinycameron.

Cameron feels like a lot of things as he stands, quaking, in Payton’s arms, and not a single one of them is strong. If he were strong, he wouldn’t be on the verge of a panic attack, turning up on his best friend’s doorstep. If he were strong, he wouldn’t need to rely on his already precariously balanced partner, whose own emotional turmoil he feels inept to absolve. Cammy isn’t strong but he damn well wishes that he were so things could stop being bad and start being oh so gloriously good again.”What if things aren’t okay?” he counters, the brokenness in his voice making it sound foreign even to his own ears. She doesn’t pull away from the fearful weight of dread in his tone. He’s grateful she doesn’t pull away. “What if things are never okay? What if it stays like this?” He wishes he could be more specific; he wishes he could define the tight feeling that constricts his rib cage when he so much as steps outside of his apartment or put words to the unsettled ache in his heart when Izzy’s own anxieties prickle at his senses.

He wants to talk – it’s why he’s come over here in the first place – but he doesn’t know what to say. There’s a strange feeling of guilt mingling with the sadness and the closeness to breaking that crawls along his spine. It’s ridiculous to feel guilty for his experience with Aiden and yet he knows that if he’d not allowed it to happen then, this wouldn’t be happening now. He’d be stronger, for Izzy. Things wouldn’t feel so cold. “I think I just want a c-cuddle. And maybe some tea? If you have it…” he sniffles; the threat of tears seems unrelenting in the corners of his eyes. It’s begging him to give in to the panic swelling in his slender chest, displacing his heart, his lungs, all the vitals he needs to live.

His questioning causes her heart to sink all the more, that confirmation that there is little to no optimism left in him crushing her. She’s frightened that if she squeezes his fragile bones too tightly that they make break, yet she’s convinced herself that it’s the only way to keep him in one piece. “I won’t let things stay like this.” Her defensive nature is kicking into gear, and even though she knows she’s not strong like a body builder or bouncer nor near as intimidating, but she feels as though she can still act as a barrier to Cameron whenever she can. At least she can act as another bump in the road for Aiden trying to get Cammy back. “Things are going to look up; this is just another challenge that’s been thrown at you for you to overcome. It may take some time and continuous support, but you will get there.” Pause.

“I am always here for you, Caspar’s here for you.. Isaac is here for you. None of us are going anywhere and we’re not going to let you drown.” There’s such assurance in her words that she can only long that it will rub off on him. “Yeah, I have tea. I’ll make you a cup of tea, but while I do that I have a surprise for you that’s also very good at cuddling.” Hesitance fills her as alas, she has to pull herself from the hug; despite every aching part of her body telling her not to, she hopes that her new companion will raise his spirits even if it is only a little bit. She keeps one arm around him however, not letting go of him completely. She doesn’t want to. “I’ll only be a second.” Reassurance is key as she starts to lead him over to the couch, taking a hold of his hand and placing a delicate kiss to his knuckles before she's turning on her heels to go to her bedroom. "Come here," she's cooing to the tiny mewling, black and white kitten on her bed, picking her up to cuddle her to her chest. "Come meet Cammy." Her tone is soft as she pets gently at her fur, walking back out to the living space to rejoin Cameron.

[paytonssimons]

ardcnn.

The pseudo-bashful smile Arden offers is as stunning as it is put-on, and the worst part is, she knows it. That blush that seems to be permanently blooming over Payton’s lovely features is like a reward for a job well-done for the blonde, and she watches as the other female lifts her hand to drag her fingers across it, very much considering doing that same thing herself. Boundaries will melt away by the end of this, if she has it her way. She’s just awful. “It suits you. I’m Arden.” She supplies, sidling a little nearer to her new companion, and she’s tucking a bit of hair behind her ear as she does so. “Do you work around here, or?” She asks, and small talk isn’t exactly her forte, but she’s digging for information she can use to her advantage. At the very least, something that she can flatter her with. It seems to go a long ways. 

"Oh, thank you." She replies, taking in their movements. “Arden. That’s really pretty.” An oddly familiar sensation is pulsing through her body, one where goose bumps are grazing the skin and a shiver is sent traveling up her spine. The strange part about it is that she has had this feeling before and it's confusing. "Uh, yeah. I work at H&M, nothing all that exciting but it pays the bills. Got to do what you got to do." Payton feels as though she's digging herself a hole for disaster, her rambling just adding to her shame. But what does she have to be ashamed about? Not knowing what to say is what, apparently. "Have you managed to land yourself a job? I'm sure you would have been able to get any job with a smile that like." It's a playful compliment, one that Payton means nonetheless but whether it's come out the right way is another story.

[paytonssimons]

ardcnn.

The repetition of her pet name, along with the giggle that seems nothing short of delighted, keeps the smile on Arden’s face and has it spreading. There’s nothing she enjoys more than someone else enjoying her, and she preens a little bit beneath the perceived attention, as well as the observation of the blush she’s caused to bloom on the other’s face. “Wouldn’t want to inconvenience you.” She purrs, and it’s not immediately obvious that she doesn’t one hundred percent mean it. Still, she slips away from the feign-humility rather quickly, and is looking towards the building at her apparent new neighbour’s comment. “I’m actually not all that surprised – I’m unlucky when it comes to running into people I actually want to meet. It’s a real shame. Did you mention your name?”

“You’re not being an inconvenience, definitely not.” This girl really knows how to talk, use her words in a way that gets Payton giddy. However, flirting has not come to mind as of yet. She’s standing there searching blindly for something to say, but nothing wants to escape. It’s as though all forming of coherent sentences has been ripped from her and replaced with babbling, rambling mess. “My name? Uh, no, I didn’t mention that. It’s Payton though, my name’s Payton.” It’s as if her cheeks are going to be permanently painted pink, and the back of her fingers against one confirm that they are heated with a form of embarrassment. “I don’t believe you mentioned your’s either. Do I get the privilege of knowing your name would be a proper question.”

[paytonssimons]

willamence.

Willa smiles back to the other, her mind running a mile a minute about all other things. She’s thinking about her coffee, about her mother, about working that night. She’s thinking about the beautiful girl she’s talking to as well as the last time she watered her succulents -oh, God, did they die? Her mind is anywhere but the present, that is until the other’s words snap her back into reality. “Thanks, I appreciate it, I’m really fine. Are you fine?” She says, speaking quickly as ever before answering the question. “Yeah, I was thinking home, why? Are you inviting me somewhere?” She asks with a laugh, taking a step forward in line, inching closer to the barista. 

A smile makes an appearance upon her features at the other girl’s words, stepping forward in the line when she did. “I’m fine, yes. Thank you for asking.” She responds, quickly tightening her ponytail and soft chuckle slips her lips. “Well, I was going to ask if you wanted me to walk you home. Or if you’re not doing anything we can sit and chat here if you like conversation.” As many people who know Payton have come to realise is that she loves conversation; even if she’s not the best at it. “I’m fine if you want to do something else, or if you just want me to leave you alone.”

[paytonssimons]

tinycameron.

By the time Payton answers the door, Cammy’s managed to convince himself that he’s already going to be a burden onto his friend. It doesn’t take long but with his mind already a swirling vat of negativity and darkness, even a momentary consideration for the worst possible outcome opens up a chasm of possibilities and he gravitates towards them like some kind of inverted moth, moving away from the light of the flame. His breath shakes as his name leaves her lips, the motion of breathing enough to make his trim frame shudder. He feels paper thin, like a strong draft down the Marlborough hallway could whisk him away and send him flying out the window. A sad sort of smile works its way to curve up the corners of his mouth, a tremor of a laugh catching in his throat. Irony. He’s amused by the sad irony of how their roles are perfectly reversed and yet the very same comforts he’d offered his angel of a best friend feel too good to be given to him in return. He nearly bolts.

The thought of her heartbroken features watching him leave keeps him in place, keeps him from disappearing up to the relative safety of his apartment. Sometimes, his home doesn’t feel so safe, mostly with how emotionally fragile both its occupants are, through no fault of their own. He pitches forward, taking a few steps to close the distance as his chest is sagging inwards and his head drops down to press onto her shoulder. Powder blue eyes shut tight, like he never wants to open them again, mostly to keep from dissolving into the tears he’s been bottling up since he last saw Izzy cry. Ever since that night spent curled up on the couch, he’s tried to stave off another reaction like the one he feels unhinging in him now, with Payton. There’s a weak sniffle and his arms come to wrap around her, small figure hunched and fragile. “Everything’s so hard,” he whimpers, voice sounding watery. He shuffles them further into the entryway so the door can at least close behind him. The last thing he needs right now is an audience.

The silence is deafening. His sad smile heart breaking. Her body reacts to how sad he seems before anything, a undeniably sharp pain striking straight through her heart. He’s broken and Payton is willing to do anything to help put the pieces of him back together before it’s too late. The extreme thought of losing him crosses her mind for merely a second and her body crumbles, hunching just slightly as he steps forward into her body. She’s always been known to think of worst case scenario. Her slender arms around his neck act as a form to glue, attempting to hold him together to the best of her abilities and her own torso curls just slightly so she can hold him tighter without constricting his airways. But it’s the sound of his watery voice that has Payton’s eyes squeezing shut, shuffling backwards into her apartment and reaching forward to shut the door with her fingertips.

“I know it is...” She pauses, her tone of voice tender and almost in a whisper. “But you are strong and you get push through this. Things will be okay, it will look up soon... I’ve got you.” In her eyes Cammy is strong, and she knows that he can get through this with the help of those around him. For him to have gotten through what he did with Aiden and then Arsen demonstrates that. Obviously there are parts of each other’s lives they don’t know about, but Payton knows enough to make a fair statement of his growing strength. Her fingers delicately thread through his hair, alternating between gently massaging at his head and stroking his hair soothingly. “Did you want to talk, love? I’m all ears. Always will be.” She tilts her head down to press a kiss to the top of his head, her free hand subtly pressing him into her to keep the hold somewhat tight. She doesn’t want to let go of him just yet. 

[lazita]

[paytonssimons]

malitiosa.

YOUR STEREOTYPICAL MASCULINE SIDE

you love hoodies.  you love shorts.   dogs are better than cats.  it’s hilarious when people get hurt.   shopping is torture.   sad movies suck.   you own a car racing game.   you played with hot wheels cars as a kid.   at some point in time you wanted to be a fire fighter.   you owned a ds, ps2, n64, or sega.  you used to be obsessed with power rangers.   you have watched sports on tv.   gory movies are cool.   you go to your dad for advice.   you own like a trillion baseball caps.   you used to collect hockey or baseball cards.   baggy sweats are cool to wear.   it’s kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.   green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favourite colours.   you love to go crazy and not care what people think.   sports are fun.   you talk with food in your mouth.   you sleep with your socks on at night.   you have fished at least once.

YOUR STEREOTYPICAL FEMININE SIDE

you love to shop.   you wear eyeliner.   you wear the color pink.   you go to your mom to talk.   you consider cheerleading a sport.   you hate wearing the color black.   you like going to the mall.   you like getting manicures and/or pedicures.   you like wearing jewelry.   you cried watching the notebook.   dresses are a big part of your wardrobe.   shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.  you don’t like the movie star wars.   you are/were in gymnastics.   it takes you around one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.   you smile a lot more than you should.   you have more than 10 pairs of shoes.   you care about what you look like.  you like wearing dresses when you can. you like wearing high heel shoes.  you used to play with dolls as little kid.   you like putting make-up on others.   you like being the star of everything.

APPEARANCE

i am shorter than 5’5”. i have scars. i tan easily. i wish my hair was a different color.   i have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.  i have a tattoo. i am self-conscious about my appearance. i’ve had/have braces. i’ve been told i’m attractive by a complete stranger. i have more than two piercings. i have/had piercings in places besides my ears.

EXPERIENCES

i’ve gotten lost in my city. i’ve seen a shooting star. i’ve wished on a shooting star.  i’ve seen a meteor shower. i’ve gone out in public in my pajamas. i’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.  i’ve kicked a guy where it hurts. i’ve been to a casino. i’ve been skydiving. i’ve gone skinny-dipping. i’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour. i’ve crashed a car. i’ve been skiing. i’ve been in a musical. i’ve caught a snowflake or snow on my tongue. i’ve seen the northern lights. i’ve sat on a rooftop at night.  i’ve played a prank on someone.  i’ve ridden in a taxi. i’ve seen the rocky horror picture show. i’ve eaten sushi. i’ve been snowboarding.

HONESTY/CRIME

i’ve done something i promised someone else i wouldn’t. i’ve done something i promised myself i wouldn’t. i’ve snuck out. i’ve lied to my parents about where i am.  i’ve cheated while playing a game. i’ve ran a red light. i’ve witnessed a crime. i’ve been in a fist fight. i’ve been arrested.

DEATH AND SUICIDE

i’m afraid of dying. i hate funerals. i’ve seen someone/something dying. someone close to me has attempted/committed suicide. i’ve written a eulogy for myself.

RANDOM

i can sing well. stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant. i open up to others easily. i watch the news. i don’t kill bugs. i sing in the shower. i am a morning person. i paid for a cell phone ring tone. i am a sports fanatic. i twirl my hair. i care about grammar. i have “?”’s in my screen name. i’ve copied more than 30 cds in a day. i bake well. my favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red, blue, black, purple, or orange. i would wear pajamas to school. i like martha stewart. i know how to shoot a gun. i laugh at my own jokes. i eat fast food weekly. i’ve not turned anything in and still got an a in a certain class. i can’t sleep if there is a spider/cockroach in the room. i am ticklish. i love white chocolate. i bite my nails. i’m good at remembering faces. i’m good at remembering names. i’m good at remembering dates. i honestly have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life.

[paytonssimons]

blakedelaney.

It’s all the more comforting for Blake hearing that Payton knows where she’s coming from. It wasn’t like Blake wanted to go around telling people she missed her family and would get a flight back home if she could afford it–or whether or not that last part is actually true– she also didn’t like confronting those feelings. But having her friend understand and empathize with her just reassured Blake that she definitely wasn’t on her own here in Baltimore. Of course she wasn’t literally alone at any given point, but sometimes those feelings are harder to overcome than just by saying hi while passing your neighbor in the hallway. “It does.. it’s just hard, y’know? Knowing they’re so many miles away and you’re just.. not with them,” Blake shakes her head, “We Skype, too, but.. it’s still just a really disheartening feeling sometimes,” She knew she could tell Payton all of this without feeling judged, and getting it off her chest felt better than Blake could imagine. “You’re the best, though, did you know that?” She smiles as she sits down next to Payton on the rock, listening to her answer the question Blake had asked before. “Work, eat, sleep, repeat, is literally my life in four words,” Her eyes widen at how accurate that was, but then she turns to look over at the other girl and gives her a genuine smile, “but it’s the same for you, you know? If you ever need anything, I’m just right across the hall, or a phone call away, or anything, really.” 

“It really is hard and disheartening, I know exactly where you’re coming from.” For someone who family means pretty much everything to, Payton knows how hard it is being away from them. She knows that feeling of wanting to be with them and she’s knows that seeing their face on the screen just isn’t good enough. It masks the pain for a short while, but it’s literally only minutes after getting off the phone it just comes crawling back. “It would honestly be a dream come true if we could just… go and see them. I think it would make us feel a bit better even if we only got to see them for a few days. It would be a hundred percent better than just hearing their voice or seeing them on a screen, don’t you think?” Now she’s rambling again, but that’s okay, she does it well. Blake has properly heard a lot of Payton’s family woes and vice versa, and it really is reassuring to know that someone else does understand what it’s like. “But don’t you worry, we’ll be able to see them again soon. I know we will…” Honestly, she doesn’t really know when she’ll see her family again but she would do anything for Blake to be able to see her family again. Anything. “Thank you, really. I appreciate it.” As her words fill with genuineness, Payton slings her arm around Blake’s shoulders and pulls her into an endearing side hug. 

[paytonssimons]

[paytonssimons]

willamence.

Willa listens attentively, smiling at her answer. “Oh really? Oh great, thank you,” Willa says nodding quickly. She ponders for a moment where Wilson street is in relation to Marlborough Apartments, knowing that she isn’t very far off. Mostly, she’s just grateful she didn’t end up a city over the night before because bus fare is rather expensive. Willa furrows her eyebrows together at her following statement, “Well that I know, I really just wanted a cup of coffee.” She chuckles lightly realizing that the other probably added that because Willa’s question was rather crazy. “But, uh, thanks, I just wasn’t sure what city this was,” she says nodding before finally adding, “But, yes, yes, I’m fine, thank you, just a little lost.” Her words come out fast, spastic and probably a little wild. Willa wouldn’t really blame the girl for running off that instant, but it is America after all, people have to have their coffee despite the crazies they need to bear with to get it. 

Payton isn’t the kind of person to run from any awkward or sudden circumstance unless absolutely necessary. She likes to face things head on the best she can. The other female hasn’t scared her or made her feel uncomfortable, though she has sparked curiosity and concern. Why would she forget what city she was in? She’s not one to judge as for all Payton could know she may have a memory problem. Either way she offers her a saccharine smile, acting some kind of reassurance for the other that she did not believe that she was crazy, loopy, anything along those lines. “It’s alright, I just... wanted to make sure that you were okay. Are you heading anywhere after this?” She questions without a single ounce of force; she honestly does want to make sure that they are okay. 

[daniellecampbells-archive-blog]