Sin título

[pazenmi]

Let’s talk about love (Part 1)

We have all seen this movie. Two people meet in a bar, they both look perfect, they're having a good time and with just a wink they catch each other's attention and start talking. They have a great time, exchange numbers and that's it, you know they'll end up getting married.

I always loved romantic movies and comedies. I really do. But for me these movies were like science fiction. I knew they were just movies and that the real life is not like that.

For me, as a person with social anxiety, this scenario was fine for a movie, but for my life, it would be like a horror movie. And I tell you why. 

When I go to a bar or a disco with friends, I really enjoy the time. I have a great time! I have a few drinks, talk to new people and, of course, dance and dance until my feet hurt. It's very exciting to go out with friends and not know what the weekend will bring. But the hardest times for me were when my friends were on a "hunt," you know, when your single friends decide it's time to find nice people to have a good time with. I really hated it.

My friends are really beautiful, they really are. We would go to bars, normal bars with lots of people, and they would start acting really weird (to me). They'd look around and find some cute guys in the distance, so they'd start flipping their hair and dancing in a very "natural" way until the guy came over. The worst part is that it always worked.

But for me, the moment I started trying to have fun and trying to talk to someone in a forced way, it wasn't happening. I would get so nervous and stressed out that I couldn't really enjoy anything. If someone talked to me, I couldn't talk, certainly worse flirt, so I just wanted to run out of there.

I don't think my friends ever noticed. For them it was really normal. But me, I was just happy to go home.

I must say that for my beautiful friends these techniques didn't work (only for one of them, so lucky for her) but I knew that I would never find my great love that way, because for me it was torture. It should be another way.

Tell me lovely people out there, maybe people with anxiety understand these feelings? Maybe there are people without anxiety who also feel the same? Tell me, if the romantic comedy scene doesn't work for you, what other options are there?

[pazenmi]

Sunny day

How does the sun affect you? 

I come from a really sunny country. My days there were always full of sun and life. 

After 18 years in my beautiful home country, I moved far away. I was looking for something new, new experiences and bigger opportunities. So I ended up in a different and bigger country, where the sun only shines for a few months of the year. 

I never thought of a life without sunny days. For me, if I had a bad day, I knew that the next day the sun would shine again. 

But here the things are different. I notice and it is very present, how I miss the sun. The winter time is very hard for me. I know I should have a routine, walk outside, be with friends... but I just can't. I need days to prepare myself for that and after one day outside, I just feel so tired. 

Today I am really happy, the sun shines outside and I just feel better. It even made me want to write :)

what do you think? Do you also feel the impact of the sun? What can recommend me to survive the winter time? 

[pazenmi]

New here

Hi everyone,

I am very happy to start a new blog here. My mother tongue is not English but I want to do it in English to practice and get used to it, plus I think I will reach more people.

The reason I am here is to write about anxiety and depression. It may sounds really sad but that is not my goal. Sometimes I feel alone and don't know what to do, but there are things that help me and of course a community, people who help you and support you...so yes my dear new community, I am looking for people who are living the same things so we can support and motivate each other.