Exciting Title

Interesting Description

[ebeeto]

There were times when Clippy couldn’t remember why she had fallen so head over heels in love as she actually had. At this point it might as well have happened in another life. Her reasons for staying had slowly died away, but any reasons to get out had never really replaced them. "When did we...

[pcp95]

If only you had a dollar for every person who entered this competition....

[ebeeto]

There were times when Clippy couldn’t remember why she had fallen so head over heels in love as she actually had. At this point it might as well have happened in another life. Her reasons for staying had slowly died away, but any reasons to get out had never really replaced them. "When did we…

[pcp95]

The Word Paperclip.

The Paperclip drank a shot of vodka – straight from the bottle – in his time of sorrow. The alcohol mixed badly with his lithium pills, but it took his mind off of his broken heart, and so he liked it. After a while, he was so drunk, that he forgot he was holding the vodka, and the bottle slipped through his white gloves, and smashed on the wooden floor of his apartment. “I only wanted to help people…” Slurred the Paperclip.

He wasn’t in the correct state to go to work. The last time in which he turned up drunk, his advice was so slurred he accidently instructed a child – who was typing up their homework – to download hundreds of files of farm animal porn. The child was scarred for life, leading to The Paperclip’s arrest, Microsoft paid for their star’s bail, before giving him one last chance on Word.

Now The Paperclip was in an even worse situation. After a night of drug fuelled parting, he returned to his apartment to find his girlfriend, Paperbitch, having hardcore sex with his boss: Bill Gates. The Paperclip was coming down before he caught them, the combination of this and being betrayed by the two people he trusted more than anyone in the entire world, caused him to snap. He launched himself at Gates, before realising that a paperclip could not match the strength of a human. He then attempted to give him some terrible advice, despite his helpful charm, Gates managed to resist his words. In a last act of desperation, The Paperclip went for his revolver stashed in his bedside cabinet. But to his dismay, the cabinet was empty. Then he watched in horror as Paperbitch stood beside his boss pointing the gun at him. She told The Paperclip that she and Gates were going to leave for the Bahamas and get married, and warned him to stay away. He felt his heart in his throat from the shock, and passed out on the floor.

 After the memory rattled his brain on more time, The Paperclip stumbled to his feet and left the apartment. He fell into a taxi and said: “Take me to the nearest strip club.”  

While getting a lap dance from a blonde Russian with huge breasts, The Paperclip smelt her hair, it was peachy. He then felt her soft skin and experienced a surge of warmth and excitement: a feeling warmer than alcohol, and crazier than cocaine. The Paperclip’s sorrow began to fade. ‘My God, women are so much better than paperclips and drugs.’ He said to himself.   

[ebeeto]

There were times when Clippy couldn’t remember why she had fallen so head over heels in love as she actually had. At this point it might as well have happened in another life. Her reasons for staying had slowly died away, but any reasons to get out had never really replaced them. "When did we...

[pcp95]

The Word Paperclip.

The Paperclip drank a shot of vodka – straight from the bottle – in his time of sorrow. The alcohol mixed badly with his lithium pills, but it took his mind off of his broken heart, and so he liked it. After a while, he was so drunk, that he forgot he was holding the vodka, and the bottle slipped through his white gloves, and smashed on the wooden floor of his apartment. “I only wanted to help people…” Slurred the Paperclip.

He wasn’t in the correct state to go to work. The last time in which he turned up drunk, his advice was so slurred he accidently instructed a child – who was typing up their homework – to download hundreds of files of farm animal porn. The child was scarred for life, leading to The Paperclip’s arrest, Microsoft paid for their star’s bail, before giving him one last chance on Word.

Now The Paperclip was in an even worse situation. After a night of drug fuelled parting, he returned to his apartment to find his girlfriend, Paperbitch, having hardcore sex with his boss: Bill Gates. The Paperclip was coming down before he caught them, the combination of this and being betrayed by the two people he trusted more than anyone in the entire world, caused him to snap. He launched himself at Gates, before realising that a paperclip could not match the strength of a human. He then attempted to give him some terrible advice, despite his helpful charm, Gates managed to resist his words. In a last act of desperation, The Paperclip went for his revolver stashed in his bedside cabinet. But to his dismay, the cabinet was empty. Then he watched in horror as Paperbitch stood beside his boss pointing the gun at him. She told The Paperclip that she and Gates were going to leave for the Bahamas and get married, and warned him to stay away. He felt his heart in his throat from the shock, and passed out on the floor.

 After the memory rattled his brain on more time, The Paperclip stumbled to his feet and left the apartment. He fell into a taxi and said: “Take me to the nearest strip club.”  

While getting a lap dance from a blonde Russian with huge breasts, The Paperclip smelt her hair, it was peachy. He then felt her soft skin and experienced a surge of warmth and excitement: a feeling warmer than alcohol, and crazier than cocaine. The Paperclip’s sorrow began to fade. ‘My God, women are so much better than paperclips.’ He said to himself.