About a year ago, I made a post about how I have been battling a daily struggle with mental disorders. I suffer from anxiety and depression and I am very open it about it especially on social media because, it is something that needs to become a regular conversation, not a taboo.
I brought to your guy’s attention the semicolon project and the meaning of my tattoo. But just a reminder, the semicolon project brings awareness to mental disorders. The semicolon is a pause in a sentence and, a change in topic. Just like how a mental disorder is a pause in life and, new adventures are waiting around the corner.
Last weekend, there was a walk in Portland that was fundraising and bringing awareness to suicide. Earlier this week, Kid Cudi announced that he checked himself into rehab for anxiety, depression but, suicidal thoughts. And today I saw the picture above on the instagram account @statuesquous and felt immediately inspired to write a blog post because, many of you know I have not written in months simply because, I have not been inspired and battling with my mental disorders.
It’s been about 2 years since my diagnosis and every day, week, month I encounter new struggles and challenges. But, this past month was especially hard. I was brought me back to almost the same state of mind I was in 2 years ago. My anxiety affects me physically not just mentally. You might be wondering how that is possible so I’ll try to explain. When I get anxiety attacks, I can feel the blood rushing in my arms, my heart palpates so much that my stomach is given the illusion that I am always full. It is like having “butterflies in your stomach” or a stomach ache nonstop and 10 fold. It got to the point where I needed to increase and take additional medicine as well as force myself to eat or at least drink a protein shake as a substitute because, I was losing weight.
Last week, I finally managed to get enough motivation to take action. Because since I have anxiety and depression, when my anxiety gets too much I start to get into a depressed state of mind and lose all motivation. I now look forward to class, I am enrolled in yoga class and, have a trip to NY planned to visit my best friend the first week of November.
The whole point of this post is to tell my fellow warriors of mental disorder that it gets better. You are a warrior and if you can conquer the battle once you can do it again. You are not alone and your backup team is waiting for you to call them to the battlefield.
Mahal,
B
Photo Creds to @samstoich on instagram