frenetic & co.

park jinyoung x 21 x food & nutrition // don't listen to a word they say / i'm in your head like every day

[peaachjam-blog]

captkorea:

( - jaebum doesn’t want to admit it, but the stillness of his new apartment was a bit off putting. hani not being around to mother him, or the fact that yuta was not there to argue with him,..it was something to get used to - )…..( - so jaebum does what he does best,and  bury himself in his studies, so the law student is caught off guard when he hears his name being called about thirty minutes into his study session - ) huh ? there’s food, i just got some chinese food like three days ago! ( - he barks back, before pulling out his earphones and making his way to the kitchen where jin stood - ) there should be food there ..? doesn’t string cheese count ?”

( ` he tries to yell but nothing comes out; a small mound of shock sits at his throat; he turns, eyes wide. ) jaebum-ah... ( ` and he looks just as he did before: solid, mature, a figure with a future and stability. but something changes -- not fractured but discolored. like his old memory were a piece of fabric that had just been washed again and again and again; the color bled; the fringes hardened. but still, it felt familiar. ) hyung, how do you keep your big muscles if you are only eating junk. aren't you tired all the time? ( ` he steps closer, pokes at jaebum's chest, his shoulder, his bicep. ) what have  you eaten today? hyung...

[peaachjam-blog]

                       > @captkorea

( ` he recognizes the glow but still does not have a name for it -- only knows its shape and how it settles. much like light: he's aware, but it is never tangible; it splashes over him; it warms him; but he never tries to collect it. he knows his limitations, follows them with a childish scrutiny. ) .  .  . ( ` jaebum's door is an easy infiltration: the spare key is warm in his hand where he has gripped it tight as he walked. now he slips it into his pocket, treads forward towards the promising shape of the fridge. he opens it breathes cool air into his face; his lips curl around surprise -- a shocked circle. ) im jaebum.  .  . ( ` he's sure that he's here somewhere -- perhaps in a room, perhaps in the bathroom, so jin yells to accommodate. ) im jaebum! how do you live off string cheese?! there's no food in here!

[captkorea-blog]

( after hours  ━ jin.

[peaachjam-blog]

captkorea:

.  .  .  .

he’s pulled at whatever daze he had fallen to when jinyoung mentions the word security. and the stillness of the moment is taken away, as a bit of anxiety begins to grow.

“ we should go then, we can’t stay for too long, what if you get a cold.” he whispers - detaching himself from jinyoung, the tug in his heart forgotten. his fingers clasping around the wrist of the younger and pulling him along. “ come on jinyoungie, i’ll take you home.”

it's a wonder how the years peel back -- how he feels at once here and in high school again; how jaebum muddles his focus until he isn't sure of where he is. because the seconds thicken, they feel like countless afternoons spent wondering what bore into jaebum's heart -- what he could wear, could do, could speak to him about that would split his chest open; that would let jinyoung into his heart.

it's a wonder how he suddenly feels small, so small. how jaebum's gaze is too heavy and -- maybe he's imagining it -- he looks right at his lips.

reality twines itself with fantasy; the tangible braids against the hopeful, and he wonders if jaebum is thinking about kissing him. if he, too, years ago, had the same urges; the same daydreams. jinyoung is breathless; his lungs empty; his lips part. in his chest, something aches -- yells for him to lean forward, to close the distance.

but dreams are fickle things. they pull apart with a burst of sunlight -- thread by thread they come undone. slowly at first, then all at once.

and before he can tell him that he'll help him catch up -- that once before his life had revolved around him, and, sometimes, the flicker of hope emerges again -- jaebum pulls away. the magic thickens, becomes loud; the world returns to its natural state. jinyoung looks away, and even though he smiles, he misses the spark. even if it's imagined; even if jaebum could never see him that way -- if he'd never kiss him like he'd dreamed, he knows he'll think back on this when stars litter the sky and the moon peeks through a sliver of light.

he'll think back on this when he's drunk and the night seems like an endless quiver of light -- he'll trace it until he sees jaebum's gaze, the water's reflection pressed up against his cheek; underneath his ears; his skin a dull color against a bright blue; he'll chase it with another drink, his own private fantasy.

"yeah," he says, adjusting to the sound; straining against the murmur of the pool to look for the music he swears had played, "yeah, we should go! i think most of the thrill is sneaking in. you can dry up at my apartment. i have so many towels."

he flits back into the pool, unsure of what to do; he stumbles but the water catches him; watches jaebum's frame as it moves, the muscles shifting beneath the skin. in the back of his mind, he wonders how the jinyoung in high school would react.

when he thinks of this, he can do nothing but smile, a timid curve.

[peaachjam-blog]

i still gotta catch up but y’all LIKE this if u wanna plot i’m tryna burn out

[peaachjam-blog]

gimme more゛

@ 「 @acachangkyun 」

the entire couch is empty other than changkyun and him, but jinyoung has still found a way to push chan all the way to the edge where an armrest sprouts, keeps them from falling; has still found a way to press his own frame against his, arms wrapped and tight around his friend's outline; still manages to rest his head against his shoulder with closed eyes, a warm sigh at his lips.

a party rages around them, but jinyoung is too distracted to care.

"channie -- i feel so dreamy. it's, like, all this time being nice to people is finally paying off. 'cause i thought karma hated me for that one time i stole that banana from the store on accident but... i met someone. my luck can't be that bad."

and he's spoken on the subject four times now, on the way over here, in between two drinks, but daydreams cluster at his lashes; they feel heavy, threaten to close his eyes at  each bend of the night just so he can dream; can imagine arms holding him, confessions being told.

"channie," his voice is a near whine; he tightens his hold on him, "channie what if i'm falling in love? channie -- what if?! you're going to be my best man, we're going to look so cute; i want to get married in blue and your skin looks so nice in blue."

[captkorea-blog]

( after hours  ━ jin.

[peaachjam-blog]

acajaebum:

.  .  .  .

         it takes a few moments, but soon enough jinyoung is an arm length’s way - and jaebum takes the chance to grab ahold of jinyoung and pull him closer to himself. boyish laughter filling the air, as he feels the adrenaline pumping through his blood comes to a stop, and he allows himself to catch his breath, his hold around jinyoung finally relaxing.

        “ that’s a lot more tiring than i remembered, give me a moment jinyoungie.”

even if the water pressed against their bodies is enough to hold him into place, he still falls forward, finds gravity where there is none; his hands search for stability -- find the broad shape of jaebum's shoulders; his arms fold, his neck bends and he laughs large, loud sounds that splash into the pool.

jaebum's hold loosens and wet skin glides against skin; the warm water confuses him -- he only knows where jaebum's limbs begin by their pressure, their firm outline. his hold is heavy; jinyoung feels small.

his fingers still skate over his shoulder, down his arm, though his touch is much softer; falls into coincidence rather than intention. as though coming together like this, their bodies pressed and unpressed, fingers busy and unoccupied, is a child of a much longer line of events. something that would come eventually, whether now or later; if it weren't here then outside; under stars or the sun.

and the nickname echoes in his ears -- how long had it been? it sounds deeper now; their voices having fallen into place; settled on a tone, a color. jaebum's deeper but still warm; like the glow of a bonfire.

jinyoung's name sounds sweet on his tongue.

"you've been gone for a long time, hyung." it's all he can say as his body calms, soothes his racing heartbeat; as he lets the mellow rhythm of the water to spill into him until he feels like a boat at a bay. pushed and pulled by the waves, gripping onto a pier -- jaebum. not much else seems to matter, nothing penetrates the dreamy haze they've fallen into; the pool is another world they explore together with uneasy fingers and tepid voices.

he's swam like this so many times, has sneaked into a few pools before, but nothing feels the same. everything is new -- a gleaming addition. it makes him gasp, it makes him smile; it fills the dark of his eyes with glimmering reflections; it feels beautiful.

"hyung," his voice is more quiet; he leans in closer, "we have to be careful or we'll get caught -- there's security at night."

[peaachjam-blog]

acasuji:

.  .  .  . 

he’s nudging her shoulder and suji is trying to ignore him, but she knows if she does, he’s gonna keep going until he’s completely shoved her off the stool. pencil tip frozen on her paper, she looks – glares – in jinyoung’s direction, mouthing what. he hands her a folded slip of paper, and christ if this is another doodle of a dick… 

it’s another doodle of a dick. 

(and no, that is not suji trying not to laugh too.) 

@acajin

he tries to focus on anything else -- but each swell of the body, each line, each curve, all seemingly points to that one place; from his hair to the shape of his toes, everything demands that jinyoung look between his thighs. and jinyoung tiptoes around maturity, never quite enters, prefers the quiet fits of laughter that take him now -- infantile reactions that come naturally.

suji is his victim; at first with wide, exaggerated eyes. expressions meant to joke -- clownish twists of his features.

then come the whispers; then the pointing; then the gestures; then, with an air of finality, come the doodles.

they showcase his lack of talent, and, perhaps on a deeper level, his lack of interest beyond anything but the superficial. his mind can't focus with a nude man in the middle of room, poised and proud as the rest of the room worships him with art. and he is sure, too, that he can't be the only one who feels out of place.

she accepts his third doodle, and he wonders if this one will break her; if his eyes, wide, and shocked, are strange enough for her to fall. for her to tiptoe into his headspace.

and once she looks, he smiles, mouths quietly: why is it so big? do you think he's getting hard?

[captkorea-blog]

( after hours  ━ jin.

[peaachjam-blog]

acajaebum:

.  .  .  .

a sudden streak of mischievous runs through jaebum’s mind, his eyes twinkling with boyish glee,  “ you’re right, i guess it wouldn’t be too bad to play some games in the pool right? i remember playing tag a lot during the summer pool as a kid.” he explains as he begins to swim closer to jinyoung, “ one person was the shark, and had to catch the others right ?” the grin on jaebum’s lips turning a bit sinister as he spoke. “ jinyoungie you should start swimming away right about now.

jaebum steps into the pool and the water seems to adjust to fit his form; jinyoung peeks with timid eyes as the water splashes, almost climbs up jaebum's side as if it, too, were curious, enamored. there's an ache to watching -- the heaviness of the voyeur -- and it forces him to look away. watching jaebum like this pulls him back to his youth and it feels incomplete; like parts are still missing; desires that went undeclared; all that fascination unexplored. it makes him wonder if he had done more, if their lives would have wound up here. if everything would end up the same.

or if he had done less, if they would end up near each other at all -- if their paths cross at predetermined angles. if these things are meant to be.

but jaebum commands his attention, and when he moves, jinyoung drinks in the sight of him -- that smile, the golden flecks of life that surround him. the way his cheeks lift and thin his tugged eyes; it reminds him of movies, the swelling of music before the climax; the bloated build-up searching for release.

"i think i remember," he returns, imagines that his voice sails over the uneasy surface of the pool. his own lips tug and fit themselves around a smile, though his is more quiet, timid; the years melt around him and he feels sixteen again, swimming away, kicking gently with his legs. the game is familiar -- it falls into place. he retreats, jaebum chases, and the thought thrills him. he takes in jaebum's figure one more time, lingers around the broad shoulders that peek out of the water; and then, in one fluid motion, he turns and swims away as best as he can -- as much as amateur swimming lessons allow.

and even under, with his fingers breaking into sheets of water, hands pulling him along, he lets his eyes stay shut. he relies on instinct, a blind science; the muffled sounds that slip into his ears and the pressure of water against his frame. there is no direction to his swimming, only propulsion, action -- something more primal that excites him; as though danger actually loomed. as though he'd be ready.

a few seconds later, he surfaces with a small gasp, rubs at his eyes, stays afloat. his location is a mystery, but a smile remains. the chill of the night sits on his shoulders, his neck; stretches over his cheeks. something rustles in the distance but his ears are tuned to the water, search for the sound of danger.

[peaachjam-blog]

I want the K

16 - upside down kiss

jaebum’s apartment remains an unfamiliar territory when the next convention arrives. jinyoung tries to combat the feeling: he emerges randomly at his door, sometimes in the early morning, other times in the middle of the night; he arrives with food or brings ingredients to cook meals – fills the space with familiar scents; sometimes he comes when jaebum isn’t home and sits on the couch just to soak in the space, just to let it sink into his skin, to let his bones get used to the weight.

but no amount of preparation is enough for the sight of jaebum clad in a spider-man costume; he steps inside the room and jinyoung’s defenses are shabby, collapse after one look. the walls seem to come closer and closer – the feeling suffocates him.

the view, though, thrills him with nostalgia and desire, an electric mixture that glides down his spine like static. red and blue fabric stretch over taut muscles, hug every line, enhance every curve; it makes jinyoung’s knees weak.

he recovers when jaebum pulls off the mask and reveals that unassuming smile – charming as it is innocent. he asks how it looks but jinyoung shakes his head, moves on quick feet to pull him towards the couch, to lay his frame over it; to rest his neck at its arm so jinyoung can cover the top of his features with the mask.

“trust me,” he whispers; kisses are still new to them but he finds comfort in the warmth beneath his fingers: one hand rests on his jaw, holds it gently, and the other finds the space where jaebum’s neck meets his shoulders. the closer he leans, the more vivid jaebum’s breaths become; he feels them on his lips, humid and quiet – like a breeze over a coast. he traces the shape of his tongue when he licks his lips, gets lost in the space between when jaebum leaves them parted. it’s then that he closes the distance, fits curve against curve; plush against thin; his fingers tighten their hold as his lips begin to move. a beat later, they fall into step.

[chivalrousxhybrid-deactivated20]

Send me 'I want the K' and I'll generate a number

[tastcful-archive-blog]

chivalrousxhybrid:

1: Hot, Steamy kiss

2: Cheek Kiss

3: Nose Kiss

4: Forehead Kiss

5: Firm Kiss

6: Gentle Peck

7: Romantic Kiss

8: Eyelid Kiss

9: Jawline Kiss

10: Neck Kiss

11: Collarbone Kiss

12: Chest Kiss

13: Stomach Kiss

14: Kiss Along the Hips

15: Kiss in the Rain

16: Upside-Down Kiss

17: Goofy Kiss

18: Underwater Kiss

19: Forceful Kiss

20: Any of the Above

21: Then there’s tongue

[peaachjam-blog]

gourmet bribes゛

「 @acasiyoon 」

they meet twice in the building -- once in the entrance when jinyoung mistakenly takes his presence as a taunting blow to his ego. his voice escalates until he yells, storms away a minute later. their second dialogue consists of small chatter, questions that jinyoung asks without much interest for the answers; what he's searching for is what button he presses on the elevator, which direction he walks on the floor. these are small details that come into play later.

because, if he's anything like his peers, it only takes a few dishes of food to have his way; for them to repay him in favors and completed piles of homework.

the scales are much higher this time, but the proximity to the morally wrong excites jinyoung; for once he feels like he's leading a movie -- each ingredient is a cut scene, each expression is plastered in a hypothetical montage. when he steps out of his apartment, hands busied with a large platter of food, he hopes they use dance music as his soundtrack.

then he corners siyoon on his floor, waits until he emerges from the end of the hallway to paint a feigned smile on his lips.

"hey -- i can't believe i'm running into you. i was just walking around because i made too much food and i'm here wondering, 'who do i know that works too hard?' wasn't thinking of you, but sometimes coincidences are meant to happen --

"which reminds me of the essay i turned in, like, two days ago. about coincidences and synchronicity. i don't mean to brag but that's one of my best."

he pauses to present the food forward, bends his head; it looks too much like a tribute to a higher being. the imbalance of power is lost on him, though, since he continues to ramble. he nods his head to gesture the food. "i hope you can see the quality. maybe you'll think better on an empty stomach? maybe you'll think twice?"

[peaachjam-blog]

roots゛

「 @acawooseok 」

love never wanes for jinyoung, only pulls apart like old fabric; it comes undone and flits into distance only to reemerge days later. at times it feels like frayed seams that brush against him, soft edges that remind him of the rapid drumming in his chest and the nervous flutters in his stomach. other times it's like finding small threads in the form of pictures: quick, fleeting reminders of what had been, tiny shards of the past that sting as much as they soothe; sand stuck between fingers.

but wooseok had been the most developed for him, and the ache of memory endures for much longer. remembering wooseok is like finding a pool of petals in between his sheets; gentle memories that make him bend to the sensation, that pull him back to soft, taut skin stretched over bones; the changing terrain of his stomach; the straight lines of his fingers; limbs that stretched on endlessly.

sometimes his thoughts clutter with his voice and he feels an innocent and sudden warmth; sunlight over his cheeks. other times, the tone is somber, inspires short spurts of rage rather than love. then there are times he confuses the two -- one intensity bleeds into the other, unable to be reconciled.

like what happens now as he watches wooseok reach the mug on the top shelf without help. irritation bathes him and tethers him to his seat with crossed arms. his head fills with thorns, and he pulls them out, one by one, small pricks of dissatisfaction that sour his expression. he craves an argument, the scalding security of emotion, but he isn't sure where to begin -- he recruits wooseok to help.

"stop looking so cocky -- you're tall, we get it. you don't have to show off all the time." an uneasy tremble takes hold of his voice, and adds to it quietly, "thanks for the help, i guess."

[peaachjam-blog]

arrangement゛

「 @acajinwoo 」

he carries three meals with him, neatly packaged and arranged, stacked by intended times: breakfast, lunch, dinner. they are meticulous as they are casual, still warm between his fingers; still heated against his palms. even when jinwoo lets him inside his home and he sets them on the table.

he carries meals, but his eyes fall to the mess around him -- it's expected for their age and their schedules, yet it still pains him. something inside his minimalist heart aches.

"jinwoo," he starts, knows it isn't his place to intrude and to judge, but he remembers, in the last moment, that he's never cared. "how can you be so messy... this is a new record."

the food sits on the table, forgotten and abandoned as jinyoung busies himself with picking up stray items off the floor. when his arms fill, he starts a pile on the corner; his eyes flit from mess to mess, form an efficient plan to tackle the entire place with minimal interruptions. he almost forgets jinwoo is there until he finds his shape, mistakes him as part of the disarray for a moment.

"you live like this, jinwoo?" it feels almost motherly as his head tilts and his arm stretches; his hand finds the other's shoulder, gives a gentle pat. "can i clean up for you? i don't like the thought of you eating in here -- you won't be able to enjoy my food. i take that as a personal attack, you know. plus, i made some of your favorites!"  

[peaachjam-blog]

wellness゛

「 @acakms 」

the content never excites him: for the first two sessions, he falls asleep in the back near the corner. and he thinks nothing of it until he's reminded that the last two biology courses he's taken have ended in failure -- he'd sighed the first time, cried the second, and hopes to never see a third. though science is much too strict and grueling, not in appealing ways but in dry, swollen facts -- it feels like learning the rules to a game he never gets to play.

it isn't until the third session that he finds a reason to stay awake. his eyes follow kim minseok, a short, pretty man that looks too young to be a professor, but carries himself with enough wisdom that jinyoung learns to respect him, to study him. he doesn't learn the architecture of cells, nor their varied interior, but he does learn how many steps it takes for minseok to reach the center of the room and how many strokes he uses to write definitions on the board.

and just two weeks later, he learns that minseok's heart is as kind as his handsome brown when he offers to tutor jinyoung. but tutoring carries different connotations: for minseok, it is a filtered and efficient way of teaching -- imparting information in more concentrated doses; for jinyoung, it means free answers to his homework, yet he's the one who ends up disappointed.

as he is now when he looks away from his book and chews at his pen; frustration builds in the pit of his stomach, rises like steam, warms his cheek as his throat fills with a whined and childish voice.  

"i still don't get the point of it all -- like, yeah, cool, there are cells and stuff but why is there a class and why is it required. why do i have to learn all this stuff anyway? isn't it enough that other people learned it for me, like, this isn't a contest."

[peaachjam-blog]

yes sir, i can boogie゛

「 @acaxhani 」

two drinks in and he's an expert on love and men and the flimsy connections between people; with a glance he eliminates half of the room -- quotes their choice of side as barbaric, as though where they choose to linger reflects poorly on their judgement. then, one by one, he starts picking them off:  one man is too tall, another wears too many bright colors, and one in particular drinks too much and too quickly, a potential for disaster.

he props his fingers up into a skewed square; one eye's closed for focus, one open; his lips are pouted while he scans the area with his makeshift camera lens.

"you want a man that's aggressive enough to know what he wants, but soft enough to ask for permission at each stage. it's like, the best of both worlds. 'cause you want to get turned on and feel wanted but you don't wanna feel like you have no say in the matter."

time after time, he lectures her, crafts his own lessons from faded stories and drunken nights, though given their failures he comes to think that his wisdom falls on deaf ears. as pretty as hani is, no man ever sticks; no man ever clicks; and this night is a final attempt at breaking her curse before he resorts to other measures -- like riskier blind dates or exorcisms.

"and, like, you want them to be cute but not too cute. 'cause then they're full of themselves and they'll make you feel jealous. but if they have their ugly moments, it builds their character," his hands lose their posture -- one falls at his side, another takes his drink; his eyes return to glaze over hani. as always, thanks to his styling, she brightens up the space with gentle and genuine grace. a tug finds his heart, a small fracture in his chest -- tastes like pride, softens like love, but before he can tear up he takes another sip and continues. "good thing is you're so pretty that you have these choices."

[peaachjam-blog]

miss spears feminism゛

[peaachjam-blog]

acalalisa:

lisa faintly recalls through the looking glass. something about jinyoung and the way he picks and chooses his words reminds her of the cheshire cat—somewhat strange, however, he maintains an intriguing conversation.

“yeah, but isn’t drunk dancing better? dancing sober just feels… awkward sometimes,” she smiles at the thought of herself dancing when she’s had nothing to drink: uncoordinated and embarrassingly offbeat. 

but she looks at the people around her and how nobody around them is paying any mind to their surroundings. the music is too loud to hold a regular conversation, and she’s going to need another drink soon. not just for her dancing, but because she really, really needs for this party to start getting fun.

lisa thinks about what jinyoung says while she counts the number of endless rotations the cheap plastic disco ball across the room makes.

“it’s a song,” she answers, large eyes still fixated on the sparkling globe. “it’s cyndi lauper.” maybe some of what jinyoung has said, mixed with the oncoming feeling of her drink in her hands, has actually inspired her to stand up from the couch. she doesn’t hesitate to reach for the seated boy’s wrist, yanking him up and to the middle of the room. “drunk, sober, whatever you are—you said you’d dance either, right?”

he never expects to feel panic in a place like this -- parties are safe, their sounds hide, their lighting obstructs. somehow they're more private than other spaces and much more liberating, like they exist as a permanent fixture of nighttime. they should guard him from the anxiety that builds and swells and pours fear into him.

either someone's laced his drink or he's much more drunk than he realizes because the girl in front of him changes.

dark hair lightens into an almost yellowed blonde; a sharp nose widens; thin lips swell. even her skin captures a healthy and bronzed glow. her height shortens, too, and her frame thickens just enough for him to notice.

his eyes are wide, drink in the transformation -- he even tries to call her name, but it sounds different on his tongue, which makes him shy away from her touch.

"lisa," he starts, though his lips want to curl around another letter -- a j, mostly. he can't explain, can't comprehend; figures this is what entering another dimension must feel like. an alternate universe. what their life would have been if their faces had been different.

jinyoung tugs away his hands and presses them against his cheek; his drink sits abandoned on the floor. "lisa, are you... you've changed."

[captkorea-blog]

( after hours  ━ jin.

[peaachjam-blog]

acajaebum:

jaebum is starting to feel unbalanced - out of touch from the current situation he was settled in. and he wonders if jinyoung can see the hesitation in his eyes as he trailed after the younger. he wasn’t used to seeing jinyoung’s back, much more used to the image of jinyoung and changkyun sitting in the kitchen of his old home. The older male couldn’t even find the words to disprove jinyoung’s claim and instead finding a laugh escape his lips, “ it’s never been a strong point of mine, if i’m being quite honest.”

and as jaebum continues to follow jinyoung towards the fence surrounding the pool, he can’t help but wonder what else has changed in the two years he was absent from civilian life.

always one to put someone else’s comfort before himself, jaebum finds himself shaking his head at jinyoung’s offer, “ i’m the one ill-prepared, go ahead and keep your swim trunks, and i’ll swim in my underwear.” he can’t really complain, after all, the training he used to endure during his time in the military had him doing much worse than swimming in his boxers.

jaebum has to hold his tongue, he was leaning towards the crime of trespassing but jaebum knew that jinyoung wouldn’t really care for legal advice at the moment. instead, he finds his gaze towards the fence and the pool before them, and tries ( the key word tries ), to imagine himself enjoying swimming in a pool during the night with the only jinyoung beside him. well, he can’t deny that sounds appealing in thought if he pushed the anxiety of getting caught away. the political science major is already nodding his head to jinyoung’s request - no longer bothering with worrying about whatever consequences and pushing down whatever anxiety.

“ alright jinyoungie, i’ll give you a lift, let’s go, kid,”  he mutters, before he begins to assist jinyoung in lifting the younger over the fence, bending down and allowing jinyoung to step on his shoulders in order to get over the fence. after he had ensured that jinyoung had safely crossed over, jaebum himself climbed the fence and jumped down with a rather ungraceful thump. “ i didn’t realize a pool could look so eerie in the dark.” he muses - his voice a bit muffled as he pulling his shirt off. “ but i suppose it has its own charm doesn’t it ?”

he holds in each sound that bubbles in his throat -- some are natural reactions, some are squealing odes of excitement, but they are all equally silenced as he finds footing on the other side and undoes the zipper of his bag. with care, he begins to undress: shoes first, pants next; he leaves on his shirt for the moment.

"yeah, it's really charming." though his eyes are nowhere near the pool -- they trace the shape of jaebum's back and the way his arms move as they tug on his shirt. nostalgia forms in his chest and mottles his breaths; he thinks of his nights as a high school student when this same image had kept him up at night; had made him warm and sweaty, the punctuation of an influx of hormones. the opening of a new era in his life. though it had been imagined, then -- nothing more than a fantasy. nothing like the live and tangible display that unfolded in front of him.

something in the air shivers as the cackle of energy as it readjusts, settles into this space. and as jinyoung looks away, his thoughts change -- the night no longer feels real. rather, jinyoung is sure one of his daydreams had risen like balloons; had climbed so far up that it had burst and fell back to earth; that shards of that fantasy fell around him, like glimmering debris. only that can explain jaebum's shirtless frame and his willingness to swim with him; only that explains jaebum's increased presence in his life, the small ways he would emerge and enter, nothing like before -- everything is new and pristine.

jaebum from his teenage fantasies isn't the same man he is now: he's less boyish, wider in the shoulders; he's less of a mystery -- more transparent -- but just as alluring.

part of him knows that if it had been a few years before, he wouldn't be able to stand: his knees would shake, his hands would fumble.

but maturity arrives in parallel strokes. he, too, has changed: he's taller, more masculine; less timid, less quiet; less afraid. as he pulls of his shirt in confident strokes -- as he fits the trunks around his hips and wiggles his toes and straightens his posture, jinyoung wonders if jaebum has noticed these changes. rather than ponder, he lets his steps take him to the edge of the pool; his foot dips into the water before he jumps inside, emerges a second later with a quiet laugh; his hands smooth his hair back, away from his face.

"hyung -- i really thought it'd be so cold. it's warm! come, jump inside!"