ben hargreeves

may the darkness within you find peace in the light.

[peaceinthelight]

-- an independent portrayal of ben hargreeves (and klaus hargreeves) of the umbrella academy, with a focus on ben. written by allie (she/her, 25+, UK). primarily canon based with some deviance on ben's abilities to manifest in front of people.

promo is here, meme tag is here, and about/rules are under cut:

ben died when he was a teenager when a mission went wrong. he's a ghost!

i aim to portray ben as close to canon as possible, with some verity in his ability to be conjured in front of people. i'm not portraying 'asshole' ben on this account ( we LOVE him in this house ). this blog is focused heavily on 'old' ben (& klaus)

imo, one of klaus' natural progressions to his power is bringing back the dead, so this might be something i'll explore later!

cool fact: ben's statue has the quote: 'may the darkness within you find peace in the light.' engraved on it, which is where the url for this blog comes from!

-

general: general rp etiquette applies here: no godmodding, no metagaming, don't have your characters know mine off the bat (unless they know each other in canon or in your character's history). no reblogging rps that aren't yours, reblog memes from the source etc. etc. you know the drill!

crossovers/ocs: i am crossover and oc friendly! i like to know a little bit about the show your character comes from and/or your characters history, so if i'm not familiar, it might take me a hot second to respond to our first interactions.

not mutuals only: any rp blog can send me asks / memes / replies to my opens. opens are always open and i'm always accepting memes. i will be a little selective at times, and i reserve the right to not want to interact with you. but i will never disregard your blog in the first instance, unless you're blatantly obvious that an asshole or if you clearly haven't read my rules.

formatting: in terms of formatting, i'm sticking to small text, no capitalization, and icons. you can format your replies however you like ofc! if i see in your rules/about that you have trouble with small text, i will automatically alter my formatting to meet your needs. if you need anything else in regards to accommodations, just let me know!

interactions: i primarily start things through memes. i always assume that we're continuing any interactions started through memes - for me, i will always make a fresh new post for any asks i reply to, that i'm happy to continue on from. if i respond to an ask via the ask box, or i say 'do not reblog' in the tags, please don't reblog it.

shipping: i'm open to shipping, but smut/nsfw will likely not appear on this blog. i rarely write it, and when i do, it's with someone i'm familiar with.

nsfw: speaking of nsfw, dark themes may be explored here, and you may come across blood/trauma/shitty childhood stuff/torture/drugs and general themes that the umbrella academy explores. if you need anything tagging, let me know

duplicates: i haven't seen another 'original timeline' ben on tumblr, but if you're them, we can talk! i also have klaus on this account, so feel free to bug him instead. as for alternate timeline ben's (including s3/s4's "asshole" ben (which again, we adore)), i would love to throw my ben at you.

speed: sometimes i'm super fast. sometimes i get distracted (i have uni, and two other semi-active accounts here on tumblr) and i won't reply/show my face on here for a while. please don't feel any pressure to respond immediately, because while i would love that, i know attention/time can fluctuate. there's no pressure from me at all! you do you.

[ordinariums]

hey folks! I need one more person for this! please contact me if you're interested. Also, feel free to reblog this / share this post with anyone you feel may be interested in it too!

Hello! My name is Tiffany, and I am a student at the Open University in the UK studying a Psychology at master’s level. I am conducting a study on the Tumblr Roleplay Community, focusing on how fandom expression, self-identity, group belonging and creativity are experienced by roleplayers like you.

I’m looking for participants to help my study investigate how roleplaying on Tumblr allows for self-expression and creativity, and how it contributes to a sense of belonging within groups.

Inclusion Criteria:

You must be 18 years or older

You must have at least 6 months of roleplaying experience on Tumblr

You must be willing to participate in a video interview with me, lasting between 45-60 minutes

Your participation will involve a video interview, where I will be asking you about your experiences within the roleplay community. All responses will remain anonymous and will be used solely for the purpose of my academic course, as my final dissertation project.

If you are interested in taking part, or have any questions, please reach out to me on the email address below:

[email protected]

Thank you for considering being a part of this research project. I look forward to hearing from you. Please feel free to share this post to other members of the community who may be interested!

Best wishes,

Tiffany Collyer

[email protected]

[stevenrogered]

How did you find me? We heard this barking. Thank you, Thunderbolt. 

[peaceinthelight]

@the-commissions-deadliest continued from here

his experience with cha-cha and hazel was a hundred percent within the top ten most traumatic experiences he had encountered. hell, top five, if he discounts luther's wardrobe malfunction at age fourteen. klaus wants nothing more than to see the back of this asshole, but he's off his face, and hadn't realised it was her until he had already stumbled down the alleyway.

dang. that looks rough, though. klaus waves his palms at her when she reaches for her pistol, showing her that he doesn't have any weapons on him - and he lets his back touch the alleyway wall.

"woah, woah, you're about as bitchy as i remember. no - no offense." full offense meant, of course, but klaus doesn't want a bullet in his head. "you're cha-cha, right? the scary one. yeah, i uh, i just took the wrong alleyway, believe it or not. but uh, while you're not torturing or killing me, quick question. what the fuck happened to you?" he waggles a finger in the vague direction of her bleeding arm. he can't say it isn't satisfying to see her in pain - because it absolutely is.

[peaceinthelight]

so i binged listened to the rest of Sea of Monsters, I binge watched the whole of Heartstopper over the past three days, i've done no uni work for like a week and I haven't even been writing here on tumblr across any of my accounts. WHY AM I STILL SICK??

[jcjoeyfreak]

[peaceinthelight]

viktor. ben immediately feels better about the whole thing. viktor .. has always been one of the most sensible of them and to be fair, five isn't wrong. it does help people who have gone through trauma. the only reason he had stopped klaus from getting a pet is because klaus didn't even have a goddamn house at the time. and he'd probably accidentally get it killed within the first week.

"if he's a universal constant, maybe there's already a film series out there. somewhere in a different timeline." ben wonders if mr pennycrumb could see him. wasn't it a thing? animals having a sense? "

[equationsoff]

viktor had pushed five hard to actually talk to someone about what he'd lived through. it had taken a long time to find someone who they could trust and who didn't dismiss his actual age as extreme mental illness from a teenager. it isn't a fun experience but five knows it is necessary to begin to face everything he's buried for decades. the therapist had thought a dog would distract him and help keep him in the here and now and not the past.

" the timeline where we're all just fictional and played by actors. they get the glory and none of the fucking trauma. " five didn't assume it wasn't true. after all the timeline is every changing and adapting. " he's helping. more than the yoga allison seems keen to make us all do. "

[peaceinthelight]

"you tried yoga?" yes. out of every bit of information this situation was giving him, ben is deciding to focus on that. he can't imagine five doing yoga. it's a hell of a suggestion, and if it hadn't of come from allison, he would've assumed it was just an excuse to make fun out of each other. watching klaus do it was enough for one lifetime.

"i'm glad you're working on yourself, five." he adds, and it's genuine. they all had shitty trauma given to them by an asshole of a dad. the fact that five also needs to deal with a lifetime in the apocalypse, the commission, and being inside the body of his teenage self? he wishes his brother the best of luck. "anything i can do to help? to make it easier?"

[motteteto]

who do i gotta kill to get a decent cup of coffee?????

[commissioncd]

Five wants to grab his face. It's weird, the need to map out someone you ALREADY KNOW. Still, he holds back, hands slipping to cling to Ben's forearms. Adult Ben was a card Five hadn't known he'd needed. 

❝ You set the bar high. He's allowed to be bitter. ❞

He doesn't raise his voice as he gives a chuckle. GENUINE and rare, a bit frightening depending on the situation. Five steps back, skin too warm and the feeling of happiness overwhelming. 

❝ As for our DEAR FAMILY, we're on recon. ❞

Ben had been the one to find him but he can't count on the others to do the same. They'd done too much HARM to one another. If they never met again, he supposes at least Ben should get to reunite with them. It's still worth a try for that much.

[peaceinthelight]

allowed to be a prick, ben thinks, but also - to be entirely fair to the guy, he met his family. anyone would react negatively if they met his family, especially if said family only saw their brother when they looked at him.

anyway - his family was alive. good, that's all he needed to know. he'd find them. if anything, he'd definitely find klaus - even without five's help. so his attention turns to his brother. the one that's right in front of him, here and now, and for the first time in a long, long time, ben has an opportunity.

"it's so good to talk to you. to be able to talk to you. five, there's so much i wanna say. but i guess - i wanna thank you first. you were the only person who was capable enough to bring everyone together and - you kept them alive. i don't think a single one of them actually thanked you for that. did they?"

[everythingyoulikee]

six years, five months, two days

[handlcd]

She'd look down, CONCENTRATING ON HER HANDS. There's a slight CHILL, it ebbs from her fingers to the rest of her like a cold breeze. Suddenly, she feels him. It's not warm, it's not what it would feel like to touch a person but she'd smile up at him, arching a brow in VINDICATION. 

❝ Ta-da! ❞

[peaceinthelight]

feeling. that's what she's working on, and ben feels it too. eyes widening a little, he looks up towards lila. "woah." the word comes out soft; and for a moment, he's in total awe of her. "lila, this is - this is crazy."

[lukreziaaa]

“We were just kids. Little kids.”

“You were never just kids.”

[peaceinthelight]

@huntingxlegacy continued from here

"ohhh hoo, look at you. you have your bitchy shoes on today." klaus' head was pounding, and he really isn't in the mood of dj's self righteousness. it's nice. well intended. but he's about as bad as ben is with the bla bla bla in the back of his head. he sighs, loudly. "allison has a glare just like that. no- no, no, in fact, my dad has a glare just like that. can you stop?"

[huntingxlegacy]

"Well tough shit, Idjit. You're getting this glare until you actually do something to fix your situation so you'd better get used to it." DJ had tried being gentle with Klaus, being the good and considerate friend making sure that he let his fellow psychic open up on his own time and approach him when he was ready. That had changed after nearly seeing Klaus die again in what could have been a horrible gruesome way. "You're my friend, for better or for worse, and I ain't letting you toss your life away. You deserve better."

[peaceinthelight]

"you think a look can get me to turn my life around?" and now he can't help it. he cracks up. "dj, dj, you are a sweet summer child. i risked my life for you, you idiot! ask ben, it's how i show love. i stopped doing it for my siblings years ago." unrelated to ben dying. ben was the best of them, and ben died because they failed as a team. he feels a little twist in his stomach as he recounts that fact. "look, if you don't like it, then i'll just leave. see? problem solved."

[i-seeaspaceshipinthe-sky]

Well, where has [sobriety] gotten me? Where has it gotten me? Nowhere.

The Umbrella Academy: 1x09 | 2x04 | 3x03 | 4x03

[hidefiremoved]

he just wants to talk. that's literally it. rain has no reason that she can come up with as for how this might be a trick, or a lie, or what he might gain from it. actually, talking to her seems to bother most people, which is why they don't do it. "oh." a beat. "okay. yeah, that's fine."

she chews on a fingernail, obviously feeling a lot more uncomfortable now than she was previously. aggression is easy. this is not. "...what do you wanna like, talk about, ben? uh."

[peaceinthelight]

"you're not the best conversationalist, are you?" he says that with a soft smile; with love, "it's okay. you can relax. i kinda figured you weren't exactly a talkative mood when you tried to kill me. if you uh, ever do want anyone to like you straight off the bat, by the way, you might need to work on first impressions."

but being with klaus for as long as he had, ben had lowered his expectations drastically. and it's not as if she actually hurt him. if anything, it had been kinda funny.

[bitemarx]

i thought if mankind toured the stars it meant that all of us could go

listen to rät by penelope scott and think abt luther. do it.

[deathsbecome]

@ordinariums: 'I don't see any ghosts!' from Klaus to your TUA verse!! (meme) and Klaus would totally say this around a stranger so I'm happy for this to be first meeting!! <3

th.irteen ghosts starters / accepting

"You know you're like, famous for seeing ghosts, right?" Or was it a different timeline where that was the case? It's hard for her to keep track. Still, she continues on. "People die all the time everywhere." That's how it seemed to her, at least. "You don't have anything that would be helpful here?"

[peaceinthelight]

"no! i don't have anything that'll be helpful here! absolutely nothing; i'm completely fucking useless!" and klaus says that in one of the most high pitched, excited voices he could muster. he can't see any ghosts. and he's not high! it's a christmas fucking miracle. "yeah, so uh. it's all on you."