I'm teaching a class on internet navigation.

unfortunately I don't feel qualified to teach this class due to my limited experience with social media. I believe that the best way to learn is through experience, so please subject me to the horrors. In true internet fashion I will also use this as an outlet for all the worst thoughts I've ever had. Enjoy!

[pearl-unofficial]

Hello, this is Pearl speaking!

I am currently attempting to educate myself on internet navigation and human behavior, and would appreciate you subjecting me to all the horrors of the internet*.

I am approximately eleven thousand Earth years old, and have never known peace.

I do not enjoy the process of eating. I find it repulsive.

I don't know much about human music but am open to learning.

Also please, and I cannot stress this enough: 🚨 PLEASE STOP TRYING TO LET JASPER OUT OF THE WELL 🚨This is the most peaceful time I have ever had in my life and I just got drop kicked by the little old woman behind the counter in an Italian restaurant.

*this excludes images featuring human reproductive organs. I know what those look like and I know the internet is full of them.

[pearl-unofficial]

The curtains are blue and you are both gay

[pearl-unofficial]

Wrong blog sorry everyone

[pearl-unofficial]

The curtains are blue and you are both gay

[pearl-unofficial]

What is a gimmick blog?

[amethystasksandanswers]

Basically a blog that someone runs that has a "theme". Sometimes it's role-playing as a character, other times it's as a real person or a thing, and sometimes it's just reblogging posts with a specific thing, like identifying any cats or cars in post images. Stuff like Haiku Bot, which finds posts with the 5/7/5 syllable structure.

[pearl-unofficial]

I think I'm having an existential crisis

[pearl-unofficial]

Are we gimmick blogs?

[pearl-unofficial]

What is a gimmick blog?

[amethystasksandanswers]

Basically a blog that someone runs that has a "theme". Sometimes it's role-playing as a character, other times it's as a real person or a thing, and sometimes it's just reblogging posts with a specific thing, like identifying any cats or cars in post images. Stuff like Haiku Bot, which finds posts with the 5/7/5 syllable structure.

[pearl-unofficial]

I think I'm having an existential crisis

[pearl-unofficial]

What is a gimmick blog?

[what-did-pink-diamond-do-today]

pink diamond evolved into a crab

[pearl-unofficial]

She did that more than once

[coolestfuckeraround69]

Message from Pearl

[pearl-unofficial]

If I went up to some random widower and told them they "fumbled" their partner that would be terrible, AND YET HERE WE ARE

[textsbetweengems]

This has been a very educational experience

[pearl-unofficial]

Where did you get this??

[valtsv]

"objectively physically attractive but in possession of negative rizz" is one of my favorite character concepts. i think it's so great when there's an absurdly hot person who's just a complete fucking loser. the mood is unsalvageable the moment they open their mouth kind of deal. you get no bitches because you're so sucks.

[pearl-unofficial]

@jasper-stuck-in-a-well it's you!

[radicallyollie]

now, what the hell is this?

I was just casually visiting this side of the world and like I came across this???

@pearllearningthings

I think I saw you there????

[pearl-unofficial]

This is illegal

[tomorrowillbeyou]

down with found family. UP with FOUND DIVORCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tomorrowillbeyou]

getting many questions about FOUND DIVORCE. FOUND DIVORCE is when TWO PEOPLE who were NOT EVEN MARRIED are already DIVORCED. thank you.

[pearl-unofficial]

@amethystasksandanswers

[pearl-unofficial]

I'm about to go to a concert with Steven! I've never heard of the artist before but he said this seems like something I'd enjoy; I could be wrong but I think the name is Chapel Road?

[amethystasksandanswers]

Oh, Chappell Roan? Yeah, you'll probably like her music.

[pearl-unofficial]

Ough

[pearl-unofficial]

I'm about to go to a concert with Steven! I've never heard of the artist before but he said this seems like something I'd enjoy; I could be wrong but I think the name is Chapel Road?

[jasper-stuck-in-a-well]

fake footage circulating of me….

If you see this forged video anywhere, don’t believe this kies…. I would Never NEVER Mount an earthling. THAT PATHETIC HORSE.

LOOK AT ME

so freeF AND …. OUTIDE…. ZAND NOT INQ A Q

BO

NO. FUSION. HORSE. THIS PLANET- HORSES GRASS ERTHLOING TRREE CRUMMY PLANET ILL DESTROY ALL OF IT WHEN I FET OUT OF THIS WELL!!! JUST YOU WAIT

W

[pearl-unofficial]

It's real I filmed it myself

[pearl-unofficial]

I'm like if a control freak was legally not allowed to control things.

[pearl-unofficial]

The "gems thrive under diamond authority because they're bad at making decisions for themselves" factoid is actually a statistical error. Bad Decisions Georg, who lives in a cave and destroys everything she touches, is an outlier and should not have been counted.

@jasper-stuck-in-a-well hi Bad Decisions Georg :^)