19 :) dms are open

[pearled-languid]

easy and natural tips on being prettier for feminine-presenting people!!

try to tan/aloe use vera after tanning

Nails- long & natural or keep them professionally done- both are cute if you do it right. 

Lip scrubs and lip oils and use chapstick!!!

Take care of your skin, lotion everywhere always especially feet/hands at night 

Cold showers are rejuvenating for your skin and hair!!

Scalp massages help to initiate faster hair growth (look it up for better instructions)

Trim hair every 6-8 weeks

a little bit of water in dry mascara makes it creamier

the magic of mascara is usually in the wand and not the formula, you can reuse better wands in less expensive mascaras instead of buying more!!

Beard dye on eyebrows to make them darker can help to add more definition and structure to your face

Spf moisturizer everyday!!! find skincare products that work for you, it is worth it even long-term!

Drink so much water (like actually) 

Take good care of teeth, make sure they are visibly clean and your breath smells good

A quality deodorant, body lotion and a little perfume are always important

Jewelry and accessories always help you look more put together.

Face/hair masks 1x a week

Posture, you can do exercises to improve it and be aware of it always. It helps to slim your body visually and appear more confident wherever you are.

Castor oil (and if you can afford it eyelash serum) eyelashes/brows

Ice cubes for the face 3-4 times a week

Using a form of jade roller moisturizes more effectively

personal opinion belly rings specifically/other piercings look amazing on EVERYONE and are huge confidence boosters!!

Biotin oil for scars and stretch marks 2x a day at least to help them fade, takes time but works after a month or so!!!

If anyone would want me to make another about weight loss I lost 30lbs in 3 months and can help you guys out in healthy and effective ways. trying to boost confidence!!! 

[nullheaven]

[pearled-languid]

i binged

[pearled-languid]

food log 9/22/20

weighed in at 121.7

- green tea :)

- one slice white bread (130) + 1  teaspoon butter (34) 

- handful of blueberries.. rounded up to 1 cup (85)

- 4 strawberries (24)

- granola bar b4 practice (150)

- handful of chips less than but rounded up to 1 serving (130)

- chicken pot pie that i ate like a third of but i can't tell for sure so ill just round it up (550)

trying to get comfortable posting this just so its out there and other people can see... please interact so i have a reason to be ashamed and i feel like people are watching me.

[wenignymphe]

Honestly, not eating isn’t the hard part for me. It’s the waiting. Every moment of the day I just want it to be over: so I can go to sleep, wake up, and get back on the scale, so it can tell me I’m one step closer.

[pearled-languid]

just waiting for the validation at the end of a hard day is excruciating.

[pearled-languid]

Jesus Christ forgot his own creation

let his children go up in smoke

he let every forgotten moment whisper around us

a swirl of hopeless memory

he let this life feel like a bad dream

that i carry with me like an infection in my warped esophagus 

he gave me a vision

of the world burning down and i know that its false but the ash remains real

in the palm of my hand

he forgot us, Lord

you and me and the kids at school and empty apartment buildings

so i hold myself up everyday like two dolls in my hands and i make them dance

my hands soaking soft fabric with sweat

yarn for hair twisting round my fingers

my dolls smell like bruises and anger frozen next to mosquitos in a brittle amber trance

where i step my little ladies fall behind me 

so small yet they crash like stone and iron cathedral pillars

stained glass slicing my hair off as it flies

immortalized time

the kids at my lunch table smell like bruises and sleep

and a fossilized anger that’s specific to every loose end 

and they smell like emptiness

that follows them wherever they walk 

with our heads down to our places that aren’t ours

the boys and girls i kiss now flinch

when i touch their arms

or their necks and they remind me of chain link fence

and dead grass and sweet wine

that i drank alone on my roof in another place while cars drove past the front door that i broke off the hinges 

and my parents screamed while i listened through the windows 

and she smells like fear when i hold her

and he tastes like hope when he kisses me

i let his arms turn to stone around me and i wonder if this makes me evil

or if it makes me hopeless

do i smell like fear

i would let my favorite boy make me into

the kind of dress you wear to disrespect yourself 

my hope for real love is disfigured 

can i measure hunger and slice it up like ritalin divide amongst my limbs feeding nothing feeling nothing feeling more than nothing

and i look at the scale and pray for salvation 

can i measure forgetfulness

slice it down the center and divide amongst my losses

every word i have spit out or forced down writhes in me so suddenly 

see through broken skin you’ll see my two throats writhe like snakes

medusa soaked in vomit and anger

nothing sparks like it used to 

words dont feel like they used to

fizzling out into new matter and it makes the air heavy

heavier than words heavier than rancid spit

pick up the phone and my snakes will writhe through the speakers

put my fingers one by one in my pill cutter and slice them down the middle 

she finds me eating bloody skin on the bathroom floor

the bones in my hands melting on my peeling lips