Surely, Mankind are more than pure dark

Im as hollow and empty as the space between the stars.

[carpe-noctem-bitchess]

all that self awareness leads to protecting yourself. the thing is, once you start doing that too well, you're just lonely again.

[thehopefulquotes]

“Just remember that sometimes, the way you think about a person isn’t the way they actually are.”

— John Green, An Abundance of Katherines

[remanence-of-love]

[remanence-of-love]

[vexheart]

“You are a part of me, even if I never see you again.”

— Franz Kafka

[paper-wounds]

via

[thewordporn]

[paper-wounds]

via

[mournfulroses]

Ma Chih-yuan, from a poem titled "Lamenting Life," featured in The Columbia Book of Later Chinese Poetry

[perfectfeelings]

“You deserve to be with somebody who will drive three hours, just to see you for one.”

— Guidelines For Finding Someone Worthwhile

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

— Time passing isn’t an apology. (via letsbelonelytogetherr)

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

— Nina LaCour via letsbelonelytogetherr

[perfectfeelings]

“You can’t calm the storm so stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass.”

— Timber Hawkeye

[perfectfeelings]

“We just got to accept that some people can only be in our hearts, not in our lives.”

— Kathy B.

[crmsnmth]

Little Orange Bottles (2)

They line the nightstand like a quiet army plastic soldiers with white caps childproof like I'm the danger

My name printed wrong again or maybe it's right and I'm the one that keeps changing

Morning is a ritual now shake, rattle, swallow don't ask questions don't look too long at the label because the label knows more about me than I do

Side effects read like a confession may cause shaking may cause silence may cause you to forget what you used to feel like before everything needed fixing

I carry them in my pocket sometimes little orange bottles clicking together when I walk like they're talking about me like they're saying keep him steady keep him small keep him here

And I do feel different but different isn't always better it's just quieter like someone turned the volume down on the worst parts of me and accidentally dimmed the rest

Still I open them every morning every night

Because there's a version of me somewhere in the fine print that survives this

And maybe that's enough to keep swallowing hope in measured doses two times daily

[crmsnmth]

The Panic

It starts small a flicker, like a light about to go out but instead hums louder

My chest tightens like someone is slowly turning a key inside me and I don't know what it unlocks only that I'm trapped behind it

Breathing becomes work manual loud wrong

I count inhales like prayers that don't get answered

My hands forget what calm ever felt like they shake like they're trying to leave me like my own body is evacuating

There's a siren in my ribs no one else hears it but it's deafening

I am certain absolutely certain this is how people die

Not in some dramatic collapse but right here sitting still heart beating too hard for too long

I try to outrun it stand up sit down walk in circles like motion might confuse the fear

but it knows me it lives here

and the worst part the most desperate part

Is knowing in some distant, rational corner that I will survive this

But it doesn't feel like survival

It feels like drowning in air

[mythologyofblue]

But when you lose someone, you don’t lose them all at once, and their dying doesn’t stop with their death. You lose them a thousand times in a thousand ways. You say a thousand goodbyes. You hold a thousand funerals.

-Sara Seager, The Smallest Lights in the Universe: A Memoir