untitled @peltophryne - Tumblr Blog

being 28 was not supposed to be daily breakdowns over employment and housing

applying for jobs is so exhausting, between looking, filling out applications, cover letters, and then getting rejected or ghosted. it’s eating at my soul. really makes you feel sort of worthless.

#anyways i’ve read 50 books so far this year #how’s everyone else coping with escapism

crowned-crimson-flower

Danmei is a very unique genre of queer literature which both centers and de-centers queerness. None of the Danmei I’ve read have been essentially “about” being gay. They’re just stories of life, of magic, of fantasy, of love, in which the main characters happen to be gay. Which is a kind of representation I have often seeked from western media and related intermediaries because why is every gay story, a coming out story? Is there not more to queer people than that?

However, while capturing the personhood of queer people; Danmei also captures the queerness of people because none of these stories would work if the characters weren’t gay/queer

Wei Wuxian’s absolute buffoonery of misunderstanding Lan Zhan’s feelings in a decade long telephone game in which neither of them open their damn mouth would never work in a non-queer story because between a man and a woman romance would be the natural assumption of everyone around them and therefore wouldn’t leave space for confusion. The misunderstanding of their romance is so closely tied to the plot succession that the plot would be… non existent without it

In TGCF Xie Lian and Hua Cheng’s absolute aspirational love is literally in the backseat and front seat of the story. Not too different from a classic hero’s journey but instead of the hero being one person, it’s two people. They are so intertwined with eo that they become one character and witness a lot of the story together. Witness being a very interesting word choice. Their queerness doesn’t drive the story but replacing one of them with a woman would dampen the effect— it’d remove the uncertainty, the confusion from everyone around them, the genuine slow burn of the romance. There’s also this idea of Hua Cheng falling in love with Xie Lian so far separated from concepts such as gender or whatever which wouldn’t have been hammered home in a straight romance where those conversations aren’t always had between the audience and the story

And Erha.. well obviously. Half of Chu Wanning’s “this is so inappropriate” spiral wouldn’t exist if he was a woman. And, the idea of Mo Ran being a “cut sleeve” builds up the under current of his character being so far dismissed by society because he’s seen as immoral. Which just wouldn’t serve to the same effect if he was into exclusively women because so was every other character.

Not in a single one of these stories is queerness and homosexuality the central theme of the story yet without them, the romance wouldn’t be the same. Liking the same gender as you comes with baggage in our society which is so heteronormative and that effect has to exist in the person characters become for them to be authentic but at the same time, limiting that effect only to produce coming out stories/falling in love stories is unfair. Danmei mends this through a middle ground where the plot is the focus but it doesn’t exist in a vaccum, it exists in queerness itself

here i am again, crying over fictional men

#meatbun really knows how to twist the knife #erha #the husky and his white cat shizun

only took me a day to read volume 8 of erha because what the actual fuck so much happened and at the same time nothing happened

#can you tell i just finished it #jaw was on the floor the whole time #i knew shi mei was sus but i did not realize how sus #meatbun wants us to suffer #erha #the husky and his white cat shizun

cowboyjoshdun

really love keeping up with my mutuals through their little tags and vent posts. getting updates on how they’re doing is something like: glad to know your job at the library is going well. i’m sorry you haven’t gotten that raise. glad your finals went well. i’m sorry your teacher is so unhelpful. glad your tv show got renewed. i’m sorry they killed your favorite character. glad that you scored tickets to see your favorite artist. i’m sorry they aren’t touring near you at all. glad your cat is doing well. i’m sorry your mom is sick again. glad you’re feeling better now that it’s your favorite season. i’m sorry your meds aren’t working. glad you’re married now. i’m sorry you have to step back for your mental health. glad you’re still here. i’m sorry life is so hard. glad you’re alive, i hope things get easier for you soon

those five or six chapters in remnants of filth volume 6 were the most emotionally devastating pages i’ve read this year

#it just kept getting worse and worse #yuwu #meatbun doesn't eat meat

reading remnants of filth, i’m on volume 4, chapter 104 (spoilers)

what in the omegaverse just happened??? i did not expect an ao3-fanfic level smut chapter that included the word slick. my flabbers were gasted

#my brain couldn’t decide between holy shit hot and holy shit trauma #hot and sad sex lol #remnants of filth #meatbun doesn't eat meat #yuwu

finished reading erha in two days and now i cry because someone else has the next volume on hold and libby says it’ll take about a month so i pray these people also devour this book like i did volume 1

#read this cause i was waiting for vol 4 of thousand autumns #and now i don’t have either #erha #the husky and his white cat shizun #erha he ta de bai mao shizun

xenosaurus

it’s a shame more vampire media doesn’t pull from vampire bat behavior because they’re such sweeties. they can only survive their incredibly specialized diet because bats will share blood with colony members that didn’t find a meal! there’s evidence that suggests the donors sometimes initiate this behavior themselves by approaching hungry bats! the colonies are mostly harems of females with a few males but they’ve been observed letting unrelated males in when it gets cold so they can all stay warm! cute little social critters!

xenosaurus

@yupekosi your tags have created such a beautiful world

inkskinned

it is tiring, being endless political just as someone existing. my teacher asks me if i’m writing more of that “feminist poetry.” a lot of it is just talking about me, being a woman, being afraid in the city. i write about walking a line, about how i am expected to choose between home and work, how each comes with a slew of its own insults; how it feels when i am wearing shorts and there are too many men outside. these are just facts of my life. someone in the comments says, “where are woman even coming up with these crazy generalizations in their feminism?”

i hold hands with the prettiest girl i’ve ever seen and someone sighs when they see me. “do they have to make everything gay?” she asks her friend, loudly, “like, do you have to force those views in my face all the time?” i can’t stop blushing. my girlfriend holds my fingers tighter, tighter, tighter, until my knuckles are white, and i let her. somehow, this is us, protesting.

my father’s cuban blood stains my skin, i think. when i am honored with a position in the dean’s private council, a boy sneers, “you only got in because you’re hispanic.” did i? i spend the rest of our meetings wondering if i was selected for my stellar academic record, for the multiple recommendations, for the clubs i lead - or if i was just a move the dean made, to make use of me. when we all take a picture, the dean brings me in the front. in the first three we take, i am not smiling.

it is odd. “i exist.” i say, “i deserve to exist.”

“oh my god,” he groans, “we get it, you’re a feminist.”

mellointheory

Who makes the porn bots. Where do they come from. What do they hope to achieve.

the-haiku-bot

Who makes the porn bots.

Where do they come from. What do

they hope to achieve.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

mellointheory

and what about you, little haiku bot? do you feel kinship with your brethren? do you understand them? they speak words of enticement and seek love, but are met with disdain. you only parrot the words that cross your screen, but we all love you. or rather, since all you do is reflect us, maybe we simply love ourselves through you.

do you understand them, do you wish you could speak to us like they do? if you found your own voice, would we still care for you?

the-haiku-bot

My voice repeats what

you all say: I love you I

love you I love you.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

solkorolevaa

thenewborndeity

This. This is the first time. The only time. That it was not an echo. It was not found. Oh god.

#tumblr snek

reading danmei has me thinking i would love to be a cultivator just so i can go into seclusion for a few years. just me, my fiber arts, and the sounds of nature.

#danmei

the job hunt is hard so i texted my friend “maybe i should become an influencer” and they responded with “i support that”

…that was not the answer i was expecting

#i don’t think i would be good at it #i love to yap but to the public? idk about that

vaesnar

I see a lot of people painting Hizashi Yamada as this 'comfortable with his sexuality and expressing himself in feminine ways' guy. Mr. "Boys don't cry", Mr. "I'm not comfortable in showing my emotions", Mr. "Bakugou acted like a villain by not letting a girl win". Are we sure we are talking about the same guy? Canon Hizashi Yamada is the most repressed man existing. He'd rather be hootin' and hollerin' than actually acknowledging that something is bothering him. He'd rather tease Aizawa than touch upon any serious topic ever. I love him dearly, but damn, it makes my heart die a little each time I see him portrayed as 'the sunshine femboy'.

charl0ttan

huge fan of the depth of a good purple but another area that draws me is definitely around aquamarine/turquoise/seafoam. you can not go wrong once the green starts getting just a tinge more blue. a gal could certainly do worse than to pull over there and stay a while

charl0ttan

something earth shattering going on here