what if it was for puppies?

(what if it was) (25)

[subtleglories]

crying because I found a diary entry from me age 10 where I was doing damage control because I felt guilty about how much I liked the film Despicable Me

[weepylucifer]

there's something just amazing about john gaius being all "i saved the world, but not for me", blatantly riffing off of lord of the rings, which no one will ever call him on, bc he's the only person who remembers lord of the rings. to make matters worse better more, he's not even quoting the book. he's quoting the movie. so lame, you think, and then you remember where the movies were filmed and about the hobbit tax and the maōri stuntpeople who only ever got to play "evil ugly" orcs and easterlings and all of that and oh boy it's all connected here isn't it

but it also is unambiguously hilarious of him to compare himself to frodo. it's like if frodo set out to destroy sauron but orcs kept trying to arrest the fellowship and call him a charlatan on the middle earth news or whatever and also halfway through he gets hit up by gondor and they tell him that denethor just died and they need him to use the ring to reanimate his corpse and he just does it. and in the end frodo loses it and destroys all of middle earth except sauron who runs away on a spaceship

[weepylucifer]

wait hold up i'm back. i was going to be all "how dare you stand where he stood" but then i remembered what actually happened, famously, to frodo: he failed at the last step. he claimed the ring. (he just was lucky gollum happened to be there and disaster was averted.) he tried very hard, but in the end, he just couldn't do what he'd set out to do. sure yeah i can maybe see how jod would relate to that

[katakaluptastrophy]

Perhaps also relevant:

Gollum's last moments before descending under the Misty Mountains:

After Frodo begins experiencing possessiveness for the Ring:

And John, and C— and N—'s wedding:

[dogpuppy]

[funkyspacerat]

Nobody understands the struggles of being a teenage girl better than Prince Hamlet of Denmark

[lizardsfromspace]

My fave part of this tweet is that even though a lot of people are assuming this was an AI thing or whatever

this is the actual lede of their review of the Super Mario movie

"But it is also, if I check the clock, Mario Time". Poetry

[sexchangedotcom]

ancient roman women whose husband keeps looking at the neighbour's boy quintus and he never looks at her that way and she can't even chainsmoke in the kitchen because they don't have marlboro blues in ancient times. and she can't even go to the club because they haven't discovered drum and bass music yet. her friend clodia's having visions of a woman named doechii but neither of them knows what that means

[yagrandmapeach]

Take a sip, babes

[benevolentpsychosis]

[targetedknowledge]

[rottencore]

This post keeps making me cry laughingg

[veliseraptor]

you know what. I think I should be allowed to temporarily turn into a seal and go swimming around in the ocean for a while. just submit a little note to work that says "sorry, I need to take some sick time, I am becoming a seal" and leave for a week

[steveyockey]

aftercare but for your job

[sabertoothwalrus]

babies

[sabertoothwalrus]

it’s 3am and I drew this and laughed so hard I gave myself the hiccups

[sabertoothwalrus]

if this baby offered you its cheerio would you accept it

[guiltfactory]

i think the fly on the wall is jerking off

[lakevida]

im going to drink a $7 light beer at the zoo and become the jane goodall of leafcutter ants

[rozzed]

why not have the reader re-read a sentence now and then? it won't hurt him....

[the-big-mood]

At Toba aquarium in Japan, after closing time, some clever little otter pups help their grandpa tidy up their toys. As a reward, he gives them ice cubes

[chryza]

literally in tears at this video....such good helpers......