What do you mean by âimagine what would happenâ? In my headcanon thatâs exactly what happened! Though the first to discover it is Mr. B, of course. And he helped A LOT to maintain the fantasy of their not-so-secret affair. Somehow they are so aroused and excited and, yes, happy at the beginning that they donât realize that even if theyâre not being totally discreet, they never seem to get caught. Their clothes are not exactly where they left them (they always find them in a visible and easy-to-find place and never have to go under the piano to retrieve a shoe or move the sofa cushions to look for that wandering cufflink). And didnât Phryne get impatient and rip his vest, making the buttons fly? How are those buttons still attached? Also, how wonderful that all of Wardlow is clear every morning he leaves and he doesnât encounter Dorothy or the red ragers!
Mr. Butler is happy to help, of course, but damn, this extra work has been going on long enough, and arenât they supposed to be detectives? Somehow their powers of observation vanish whenever they need to observe things about their relationship (a fact Mr. B discovered way before there even was a relationship to talk of). So once Dorothy finally! discovers it (and who told them that making out in the interrogation room at the station was a good idea?), Mr. B is only too happy to enlist her to help in the cause of keeping their privacy.
But then Jane returns home from the continent, discovers it too, and Mr. Butler decides this is getting ridiculous and enough is enough. They are the only ones still thinking theirs is a secret affair (and Hugh, of course, who notices nothing). First, Mr. B tries to leave subtle hints. One morning Jackâs clothes are almost in the same place he left them in Phryneâs bedroom, but pressed, refreshed, and folded. But since that day Jack leaves before 6 a.m., when itâs still dark outside and heâs half-asleep, Mr. Bâs clues go unnoticed. (It seems itâs true even smart people turn stupid when in love.) So the next morning (Saturday. And didnât they think the house would be full at 9 a.m.!?) Mr. B has had enough. A not-so-discreet knock on the door (âMiss, Iâm leaving your breakfast outsideâ), and when they retrieve the tray thereâs a cup of coffee for Phryne, another with tea exactly how Jack drinks it, and a plate full of ham, pickles, and mustard sandwiches. Jack thinks he canât be embarrassed enough, but he has to correct himself when he opens the door to leave the bedroom and finds Dot carrying a basket, about to knock, who happily asks him if he has anything for the laundry. Then he goes downstairs and is about to leave when Jane calls him and sweetly asks if he might bring his bicycle tonight so tomorrow after breakfast he can maybe teach her how to ride (he said yes, of course, but he really would have loved not to stutter that much in front of a 12-year-old girl). Finally (finally!) he opens Wardlowâs door to leave what has been the longest shame walk of his life, only to find Bert and Cec repainting the porch. He would have thought this was just a terribly nightmarish coincidence if he hadnât turned his face just in time to see Bert looking at him with a knowing smile. They say caution is the better part of valour, so Jack opts for saying nothing and regrets agreeing to teach Jane how to ride, because heâs pretty sure he doesnât want to return to Wardlow in a year.
Phryne, of course, has discovered everything that's going on downstairs and is having a blast. Later, it takes a lot of persuading on her part to convince Jack to return to Wardlow that night; that itâs for the best if itâs all out in the open and that her family is only too happy to have him there as he should be (and she can be very persuasive, especially while pleasing him under his desk at lunch). But after some discomfort the first week, Jack finally gets used to and takes the place in Wardlow he has always been supposed to occupy (at least in the minds of everyone else).
Oh, and it takes two more weeks â and a smack on the head from his wife â for Hugh to discover it. Bless him.
gummygunk
stormborns
yousharknotpass
ellievsbear
2087
