Pent Up Words

Girl living the life of a student, an activist and occasional writer.

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 #this is why gifs were invented

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Critically reflecting Anthropology

Anthropology lectures have a habit of baffling me. It is not an uncommon occurrence for my walk from Flenje theatre to the Braggs to consist of a quiet deep thought about what I believe in and why. 

The themes of this course are difficult to discuss (Anthropology: Life Death and Culture); which in itself says something about our culture. Why is talking about death such a taboo? And why do we often blindly assume that medical staff know what they’re doing?

The first lecture I went to after taking up the course late was one of birth and she discussed that women having birth in hospitals are told to lie down, despite the fact that it has shown to be more painful. I enjoy the way anthropology makes me examine my assumptions about the way I live or the things I believe in; thats not to say it isn’t an uncomfortable experience.

I do believe that the hardest thing about this course isn’t what we discuss, but what we learn. Having the skills to critically analyse your own beliefs is a big thing. I imagine a lot of people don’t have the courage to openly discuss what they believe let alone why it might assume certain notions or potentially be wrong.

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I feel you Audrey. I feel you. 

I find my life choices often come back to three things: (a) I never feel like I'm going in the right direction and I'm constantly worrying about it, (b) I try to prove myself, that I'm older or wiser, or that I care and (c) I'm always wondering about some guy.

I think it speaks a lot to my insecurities and self-doubt. Or maybe it just says that I'm men-obsessed (not really). But in life, there's always someone I'm noticing or wondering about. And you know what, 95% of the time he doesn't know I exist. As for the rest, I have a lot of moments where I sit in my onesie and wonder why I'm going down this path or this road and why I'm bothering.

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Adam Levine;

Not that I didn't care, it's that I didn't know, It's not what I didn't feel, it's what I didn't show...

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I was in a scooter accident last night -- did some stupid thing like brake too hard at the traffic lights. All I could think as I went towards the pavement was "fuck, Amber you're an idiot". Now, what if those were my last thoughts? What if the pavement had in fact been a car? I'd like to think my last thoughts would mean something - not be a load of rubbish. 

To the scooter, which now lays in my driveway barely scratched and missing an indicator, I direct the picture.

Mary T Forde on We Heart It. http://weheartit.com/entry/57466851

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I'm reading about grief in other cultures, and death, and its made me think: why does western society struggle so much with death? Perhaps because we are so afraid of it, constantly fighting to prolong it. Also perhaps because we have no "rules" for the period after death. Sure we perform funerals, but what is the socially constructed time for mourning? How long are you allowed to cry for? Will people come over and stay with you to make sure you are not alone? In Lihir, PNG, they have a mourning period, called mbie where the family are not left alone and are in fact encouraged to stay social.

Perhaps we need to rethink a few things.

Quiet girl | via Tumblr on We Heart It. http://weheartit.com/entry/57537101/via/hylsecats

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How to live your life

Sometimes I walk out of Anthropology lectures completely baffled. I've always been curious about human nature and its culture, and about other cultures that Anthropologists study however the things I find most interesting are the case studies about my society, my culture. Critically analysing a culture from the inside is difficult, but some have managed it. I am always baffled by how eloquently they point out the flaws in my beliefs, beliefs which I didn't even know I had. For instance, why is our society so obsessed with oral hygiene? Why do we presume it is best to go through labour lying down? Its interesting to note the sheer amount of "helping" advice that is out there in the book shops and online. A ridiculous amount of people telling us how to live our lives - have we really become that incapable of knowing how to live it ourselves? And why do we focus so much on things that other cultures manage without, and focus so little on what we have lost. 

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Ramblings #1

Life is a bit confusing. Minds are a bit confusing. For me, its the simple matter that I can be completely set and sure of myself one day, only to fall into a heap of despair and insecurity the next. Sometimes I ask myself why I have to be human.

It is a human trait, is it not, to constantly self doubt? I've never noticed my pet rabbit to worry about what its going to do for the rest of its life. It just likes to hump footballs and chew grass.

I feel privileged to be able to make decisions about my life, but also overwhelmed that there are so many decisions to be made. When will I move out of my house? When will I get a job? What will I do with my degree? Why am I even studying this degree? Am I making the right decision? Do I really like this person? Why are we friends when you make me feel horrible? And they get more and more depressing the further into the night we get. 

I am in need of a soul cleanse. I feel like I want too much. Maybe I am asking of world more than I need. Or perhaps I am taking more than I need. Or even perhaps I am not taking enough... 

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"My own Prime Minister can't even explain. We ask her the question, she just turns away. They're too afraid to lose their voters come election day - lost sight of the goal to rid the world of hate. But Julia, remember back in the day when women couldn't vote because they were born that way. They were out trying to fight for rights and change. It's the same people that helped you. You just shun them away. I might not be the same but that's not important. No freedom till we're equal. Damn right it's important."

  As a believer of equal marriage rights for those who are in same sex-marriages, I am really loving the recent polls in February that showed that 62% of Australians support gay marriage. Its disheartening that neither parties seem to be moving forward on this issue and that it has not become an election issue because I believe it should be. 

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[teatralka]

[currrahee]

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Everyone says love hurts, but that isn't true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt.

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Why’s it always you and never me? I’ve never dared to let my feelings free

The Perishers

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I would write something, but I have no idea what to say. 

The title is a gathering of ideas in my head. Words, phrases, streams of rhyme. But I guess there are only so many words a person can keep in their head until they all spill out. Me, I'm waiting for that moment.

For now, everything is pent up.