this reminded me so much of my past relationship, that i just had to reblog it! the emotions, the feelings, the whole conflict was captured so beautifully, that i literally couldn't breathe through some parts. i kinda felt sent back to the time, when i felt exactly like Y/N..this was just GREAT, to say it simply!
summary: Meeting him was the most life-changing thing that had ever happened to her. Befriending him was like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street. Loving him was like a burning vortex of flames, consuming her completely. Devoting her life to him settled her final downfall.
warnings: None, for now. Please note that English is not my first language!
word count: 2,482 words
a/n: I’m sorry it took me so long to update again! As I said before, I can only upload when I have the time for it and, at the moment, I’m working a lot. It’s rather hard for me to find the time for Tumblr (in general) but also for my private life. It kinda sucks, but well...you know how it can be. :)
PROLOGUE
You didn’t know who you had expected Xander Wilde to be. The name didn’t ring a bell; not when you thought about all the things Jerome told you, not when you thought about all the things you heard from the news about him. The name just never came up. Knowing Jerome Xander must have been very important to him, in one way or another. Otherwise he wouldn’t be looking for him now.
If you were being honest you didn’t even know why he was after you, too. Sure, you two shared a lot of memories, especially a lot of firsts, but you just couldn’t pinpoint why he was looking for you now. Jerome could have searched for and found you a long time ago, if he had wanted to. What was different now?
Stepping through the opened metal door, just after Gordon and Harvey, your eyes quickly scanned the room. It wasn’t very well lit, only a few desk lamps were turned on. In the middle of the room stood a large table. A lot of papers, scribbles and blue plans laid upon it. Behind it was a wall of smaller and bigger TVs, that were switched off. On your way down you saw a lot of security cameras, so you wondered why the screens were turned off. Obviously, that Xander Wilde was watching you beforehand.
Scrunching up your nose a little, you looked up and saw a tall figure standing at the other end of the table. His stature looked rather well build and he wore a fitted, orange-y suit. At least that’s the colour you could make out in the dim lightning.
“Thank you for seeing us, Mr. Wilde.”, Gordon said in a raspy voice. You knew that wasn’t really a good sign, even though you’ve only known him personally for a few days. The GCPD was kind enough to let you live with Harvey and his wife until the whole thing with Jerome was over. Of course you had spent a lot of time with Harvey and Captain Gordon, mostly at the Department, so they could secure your safety.
“I expected you might come, Captain.”, a dark but gentle voice answered. You couldn’t really see Xander Wilde, but he must have turned around and looked somewhat...shocking? At least, that’s what you thought from seeing Gordon pull out his weapon and Harvey basically loosing the confident look on his face. It was replaced with worry.
“My god, there’s two of ‘em!”
Confused you pushed through both men and basically looked in the face of Jerome Valeska. Except, he didn’t look like Jerome at all.
“May I put my hands down now, gentlemen?”, Wilde said in a shaky voice. You were still extremely confused as to why someone looked exactly like your ex-boyfriend, but also didn’t look like him at all. Xander Wilde had the same ginger-y hair colour Jerome had, except, his was styled neatly to the side, whereas Jerome always wore his in a mess. On the bridge of his nose sat a pair of glasses, behind them the same green eyes Jerome had. The same lips, the same cheeks, the same chin.
Harvey pulled you behind him again, as if he wanted to shield you from the possible danger. You smiled a little at his reaction, however, you really wanted to know what was going on now. Over the past few days your impatience really kicked in and you wondered how long you’d have to wait until you could return home. Live your life like you did before all this drama.
At the same time your interest was pinched now. There was no turning back from this - when you found something that intrigued you, you’d research it for as long as you needed to. So it was only natural, that you stood rather close behind Harvey and observed the Jerome-look-a-like in front of you.
Unsure Gordon lowered his gun and shared a side-glance with his partner. “Apologies, Mr. Wilde, you took us by suprise.”
“It’s understandable. You can call me Jeremiah.”, the man said while slowly walking towards the three of you. Jeremiah? You lifted a brow and crossed both arm over your chest. Xander, Jeremiah...why would he have two different names? Somehow this whole situation started to annoy you a lot. You came here, in the middle of the night, in a damn forest, to find a man, who looked exactly like Jerome, that obviously goes by a pseudonym and acts completely different from his look-a-like. He seemed a little shy and unsure, maybe overwhelmed by the whole situation.
Still, that didn’t change your irritation from spreading.
“That’s the name my mother gave me. You solved her murder, Captain Gordon. I owe you a debt of gratitude for that and for putting Jerome in Arkham, where he belongs.”
“He never mentioned you before. Not to us, not even to Ms. (Y/L/N), who has a rather intimate history with him.”, Gordon took a step towards Mr. Wilde, or Jeremiah. For the first time the gingers’ gaze focused on you. Instantly you felt a little insecure, so you bit down on you lip. His gaze was gentle and welcoming, still a little shy and...was that a flicker of embarrasment? You really didn’t know how to handle the whole situation, so you just stayed quiet.
Harvey and Gordon were both still a little tense and probably didn’t trust him at all. You wouldn’t trust him in their position. You didn’t trust him in you position either.
Smiling a little, Jeremiah looked down and then back up towards Gordon. “No, I suppose you wouldn’t know. From the letters my mother sent me, he never spoke of me after I left.”
Confused you couldn’t stop yourself from speaking up. “So, you’re his...what? Brother?”
Jeremiah nodded and looked at you again. His gaze lingered on you for a moment. “His twin, to be exact.”
You could feel your heartbeat getting fast. Why would Jerome never mention his own twin to you? You know it was silly feeling betrayed by him now, but you really couldn’t help yourself. You had always thought that Jerome was completely honest with you and that you knew everything about him.
“Left where?”, questioned Harvey while stepping beside Gordon. You followed him a little, as you really didn’t want to stand anywhere alone in this room. On the one hand, you still didn’t trust Jeremiah, even though he seemed...sane. Sane and normal. He wasn’t crazy, like Jerome, you could sense that. But you still felt a little troubledness in him. You wondered why.
“The circus.”, Jeremiah replied. He fumbled with his suit jacket a little before he fully turned towards Harvey. Biting down on his lip, he said “They hid me away to protect me from him. See, we were always different, Jerome and I.”
Sitting down on the table, Jeremiah closed his jacket. His gaze found yours again. “From an early age I showed proficiency for maths and design, and Jerome mainly the mutilation of alley cats.”
Looking down at your feet, you felt your cheeks getting warm. He really had an intense stare. “On my 10th birthday he held a cake knife to my throat, few weeks later he lit my bed on fire. It was like living in a nightmare. My mother knew eventually he would succeed, so one night my uncle came into my room, while Jerome slept, and told me that he was taking me away. I had no idea where, but...I kissed my mother goodbye, told her I loved her and I never saw her again.”
It was his turn to look down at his feet then. You watched him, while he fumbled with this own fingers, clearly still shaken by the events of that night. You didn’t know Jerome when he was this young, so of course you wouldn’t know Jeremiah personally. You also didn’t know about the events, Jeremiah just told you about. Gulping you realized, that maybe, you didn’t really knew Jerome at all. Your heart sank at that thought. You didn’t love him anymore, obviously. Your relationship ended almost four years ago, but still. Finding out someone, who you held dear one time, hid things from you, isn’t really something you ever want to find out.
“He took you to St. Ignatius.”
Nodding Jeremiah responded. “Got a new name, new life. Now, I was finally able to live without fear, but, in my heart, I knew one day Jerome would come for me.”
He seemed a little lost in his thoughts and you wondered if he ever regretted being taken away. If there was more to this whole thing, that maybe he blamed himself? You sure knew you’d blame yourself if your twin would turn out to be crazy. You’d blame yourself for them wreaking havoc, for murdering people. Always apologising for what they do. Maybe you’d even apologise for being related to them, even though you probably still loved them - they were your twin after all!
Shaking your head you tried to push away the thought. Jeremiah seemed like a rather nice guy, definitely scared of his brother and marked by his past, but nice.
“Well, that day is today, pops.”, Harvey said with a serious tone.
“We have reason to believe Jerome knows where you are. We need to move you to a safe location until we can apprehend him, just like we did with (Y/N).”, Gordon continued. Pressing your lips together you slightly nodded in Jeremiah’s direction. He looked at you, and then sighed.
“That won’t be necessary, gentlemen, I’ve spent the bulk of my life preparing for this eventuality. I’m safest here, in my home.”
“Not anymore. Jerome knows the name of your proxy. He got it from your boss, just before he excecuted him.”
“I heard about Jerome visiting Alan Hayes.”, Jeremiahs’ eyes were fixed on Gordon. His hands were crossed over his lap, while his back slouched slightly over. Of course you had to admit, that he was abnormally handsome. He just had that calm attitude, sweet and shy, but confident in himself and his doings. Well, maybe it was a little stupid to not accept the police’s help, but then again he had built himself a safe house. And he had been safe here for a rather long time, without Jerome knowing that his brother was this near to him. “It’s tragic. But the proxies’ name I gave to Alan was a fake.”
You were always good at observing people. You noticed the little twitch in his jaw, the blank stare, paired with a small nervous flicker of his eyes towards you. You knew he was lying.
Gordon must have sensed that too. Harvey watched Jeremiah cautiously, while slowly walking towards him. You wouldn’t even notice him approaching, if you didn’t spent attention to him. “You’re lying.”
“Beg your pardon?”
Harvey shot you a quick glance, before pointing at Jeremiah and then looking at Gordon. “There’s something about that guy that’s fishy.”
You could feel the tension build in the room. Slowly you glanced from Gordon to Harvey, then towards Jeremiah. His eyes were wide and he gulped nervously. You had seen that look before - with Jerome. He always looked like this, when he wouldn’t tell you a secret he had. Or when he wanted to hide a little gift for you and told you, that he didn’t have anything. It was the typical Valeska-Lying-Face. You couldn’t help but snort a little. Harvey looked at you surprised.
“Security cameras outside. They were turned on, so why are the monitors in here off?”
Shaking his head, Jeremiah answered. “I don’t see why that is any of your concern. Now, if you excuse me, I’m a very busy man.”
“Yeah, I’m sure that you are.”, Gordon was having none of it. You could see the irritation in his face. Harvey watched his partner, then looked back at Jerome’s twin. You scrunched your browns together, not really wanting to know what Jeremiah was keeping from you. At this point you just wanted to go back home and take a nice bubble bath. This was all so very confusing to you. You knew you’d have a headache later this night, you could already start to pound against your forehead. It was just a lot to take in, if you were being honest.
“Please, don’t touch that, that’s very sensitive equipment.”, Jeremiah took a few long strodes towards Gordon. He was practically standing beside you and Harvey. His hands were pushed inside his hips, while he nervously danced around on one spot. His lips were pressed together in a hard, thin line, his jaw tensed, while his green eyes fixated Gordon.
While the screens flickered on you took a step towards Jeremiah, still watching his every move. You didn’t know if you wanted to help him or be able to grab him, if he, for whatever reason, tried to escape. Besides, it’s not like you’d have a chance to actually hold him in your grasp, if he tried to flee. But it might give Gordon and Harvey a few seconds more time. On the other side Jeremiah really seemed to be a good person.
The Jerome you knew was sweet. Twisted, yes, maybe troubled. But he was good to you. However, he did kill his mother. He killed his father. He landed himself in Arkham, was part of that MANIAX!-group and murdered innocent people. And now he wanted revenge on you. And his brother. You didn’t even know what both of you did to him. If what Jeremiah said was true, then he should be the one to want revenge on his brother. But he seemed way to nice to actually do that.
You on the other hand always liked the idea of revenge. It wasn’t like you ever did something to anyone, but a small part of you always wanted to step up for yourself. When you were in 9th grade you were bullied by some girls in your class. Even back then you swore to yourself, that you’d someday make them pay. Of course you let it slip at some point. Wanting to be the better person and all. Besides, they stopped bullying you when you turned 16, came back to school with a more feminine body, way less pimples and new friends by your side. It wasn’t short after that you met Jerome and fell in love with him.
Groaning interrupted your thoughts. The TV screens turned on and your gaze settled on one in the right corner. There he was, your ex-boyfriend, teenage love and apparently the one, who wanted to see you dead. Everything in you froze. A cold, unpleasent shiver crept up your spine, spreading over your neck and wandering down your arms.
“Oh yeah”, Harvey turned around to look at Jeremiah. “I’d say that’s pretty damn sensitive.”
hello! i was just wondering if you had a taglist, because i love dancing with the devil, and was just wondering if you’d be so kind as to tag me in the next parts? if you cant, thats fine, but i’d very much appreciate if you did tag me! keep up the good work!!
hi, love! thank you so much for the kind words, they really mean a lot to me. i’ll definitely tag you in the upcoming parts, that should be no problem. :)
summary: Meeting him was the most life-changing thing that had ever happened to her. Befriending him was like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street. Loving him was like a burning vortex of flames, consuming her completely. Devoting her life to him settled her final downfall.
warnings: None, for now.
word count: 1,499 words
a/n: So, I haven’t written in English since forever and I figured that maybe, if I restart again, I’ll not only improve my skills, but also get back into the thing that I love: writing. It has been quite hard for me to get back to writing, especially stuff outside of Harry Potter, and therefore I ask you to be a little gentle on me. Please also note that English is not my first language. I am doing this to get better at writing in English, but also for my own personal enjoyment. Meaning, I will only upload if I have the time for it.
CHAPTER ONE
Knowing that your connection to Jerome Valeska would sooner or later get you in trouble made you feel uncomfortable for quiet some time. After all, he was known to be crazy. Arkham wasn’t even able to hold him, so what exactly made you think, that you would be safe once he was locked up again in the asylum?
Probably the last spark of optimism that was left in you. However, when you heard, that he had broken out of Arkham again and that he, supposedly, hunted down people from his past, every last fiber screamed at you to leave the city.
When you came back from work that day, you started packing all your most important things. Clothes, various personal papers, your laptop, your cellphone, pictures and notes, that your friends had given you, some meds and obviously some money. You never knew what could happen and when you could need a little extra cash.
New York seemed to be your next destination, as you had a friend living there. He moved some months ago to attend university and, as far as you knew, everything went pretty good for him. Hoping you wouldn’t be a bother to him, you reached for your phone to ask him, if you could stay for a few weeks. Just then there was a knock on your appartment door.
Nervously you lay your phone back inbetween your clothes while you slowly walked into your small kitchen. Opening a drawer you took out a sharp knife, which you knew would not be able to kill anyone, but hurt them just right, so you could leave and still grab your packed up things.
There was a knock again when you reached for the handle and turned it around. Holding your breath, ready to strike at whoever stood behind your door, you looked up into blue eyes. They seemed concerned but also tired. Gulping you relaxed and hid the knife behind your back.
“Miss (Y/L/N)?”, asked Captain Gordon. You nodded and let him and his partner in. You knew that they were here because of Jerome. So it was true, that he’s searching for people from his past. Watching both men while closing the door, you asked yourself how it had gotten this far. One day you sat laughing with a ginger haired boy on a park bench and the next that same boy was after you, probably wanting to kill you.
“Miss (Y/L/N), we are here because of Jerome Valeska.”, said Gordon in a serious tone. “We know you have a connection to him, as he has talked about you before.”
“He has talked about me? When?”, you crossed your arms in front of your chest, suddenly feeling a chill creep up your spine.
Gordon’s partner looked at you, pressing his lips together. “A couple o’ times. You don’t happen to know where he is right now, do you?”
Scrunching your brows together, you shook your head no. With a side-glance you looked at your packed suitcases. “Of course not. I was actually about to leave, just before you came here. What do you want from me?”
“We want to keep you safe.”, Gordon said. His steely eyes looking directly into yours. You knew he was being honest, but you wondered how they were going to do that. Jerome was, after all, very creative when it came to finding people. Gordon must have sensed your question, as he took a step towards you. “You will be staying in a safe place, after you came with us to the PD.”
“The PD?”, you asked. Normally, you would never let yourself to be bossed around like this, but right now you were part of a murderous sociopaths plan. Taking the offered help from the police does really not sound that bad. Besides, you could live with Gordons paternalism for now.
“We have a few questions. Nothing that would hurt ya’, girl.”
You looked up at Gordons partner. You couldn’t really make out his eyes from under the hat he was wearing. You assumed he was the former GCPD Captain, Harvey Bullock. He had a temper, as you have heard, and wasn’t really liked by his colleagues. You wondered what he had done to them. Sure, he seemed a little rough and maybe a little rude, but overall you didn’t really take him to be a bad person.
Nodding you sighed. “Can I take my things with me? I wouldn’t want to leave them behind.”
“All we know is, that Valeska has been searching for Miss (Y/L/N) some time. However, there is someone else, that seems to be more important to him.”; Gordons words echoed through your ears as you stood inside a room with a couple more police detectives. All of them wore serious, hard faces. The situation wasn’t to be underestimated, you knew that. Still the whole scene reminded you of one of those crime-shows, where a group of detectives tried to figure out who commited the murder of their victim. Smiling to yourself for a moment, you shortly after realised, that this was actually happening and the situation wasn’t part of the show. It was very much a reality.
Frowning you looked up. “The name of that someone is Xander Wilde. We don’t know in what connection he stands to him, but what we do know is, is that Mister Wilde is an engineer, who works for Meyer&Hayes.”
Xander Wilde. Doesn’t ring a bell. You have never heard that name before. What possible connection could Jerome have to him? You always knew that he hadn’t told you everything about him, but you assumed that you knew all the most important people. His mother, his uncle, you even knew his father - that blind, older man, who also worked at the circus. Of course you didn’t know what happened after he was put into Arkham for murdering his mother. All you knew was, that the joined that group called MANIAX!. You watched them take over the gala, where he and some blonde woman performed a magic show. Later on he was killed, but came back and went after Bruce Wayne.
You couldn’t really put a finger on what made him end up in Arkham again as you decided to try and ignore everything that concerned him. You wanted to move on, forget him and all the things you shared. Following his recent activities wouldn’t allow you to do that, so you kind of stopped listening whenever you heard his name. Which was hard. But you did it.
Standing outside of a little complexion deep inside the woods, you stared up at the night sky. According to Gordon that mysterious Xander Wilde is supposed to live here, but how could someone live in something so small? An in the middle of nowhere? How does that guy even survive?
You turned around when the metal door opened and entered, together with Gordon, followed by Harvey. You were welcomed by a blonde girl, who looked at the three of you rather distant and a little unconvinced. She seemed a little off to you, but when a staircase into the ground caught your attention, you pushed the thought aside.
“Mister Wilde expected you to come.”, the blonde said in a monotone voice. “Follow me, please”
She turned towards the stairs and motioned you to follow her. You noticed the glance Harvey shared with Gordon and his nervous nod towards you. It was kinda sweet, that he seemed to be concerned about you and if you were being honest, Harvey really reminded you of your father. You had spend a lot of time with him over the past few days and he really grew onto you for some reason. He had a good portion of humour, that you very much appreaciated. The whole situation didn’t seem that bizarre to you, whenever you heard him make a joke.
Following the girl you quickly lost all orientation. She was leading you through a maze, that probably took forever to build. Everything looked the same, every passage had the same stoney walls, the same lightning, the same floor. You could never manage to get out of here alone.
“So this whole joint’s under ground?”, Harvey didn’t seem very sure about the whole situation too. His tone was doubting and a little shaky, which told you, that he felt rather uncomfortable. A sympathic smile spread across your lips. You could understand him. You did not exactly want to be here either.
“Mister Wilde values his privacy.”, the blonde answered while turning another corner. She seemed to know exactly where she was going.
Gordon watched her cautiously. “How long has he lived here?”
“He finished construction six years ago.”
Stopping in front of another metal door, the girl pushed a button on what seemed to be an intercom. “Ecco 496.”
A metalic, female voice answered while the door opened. “Welcome, Miss Ecco.”
The girl, apparently called Ecco, stepped aside to let you in. “He’ll see you now.”
