till i die @peppymadisonmccarthy - Tumblr Blog

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Ryder: sighed, understanding why she did what she did. He knew if the situation was reversed he would do the same thing. He couldn't be mad at her for this, even if it hurt that she lied. He just couldn't be mad. After she finished talking, he made up his mind. He didn't want to break up with her. He wanted to stay her boyfriend. He just hope she truly meant what she was saying. He put his hands on top of hers and smiled. "And you mean it? I'm im a dorm now. No sympathy needed." He said, mostly kidding with his question.

Madison: almost sighed in relief when he placed his hand on her, a smile finally breaking through to the surface. She grinned, using her free hand to wipe away any stray tears. Then, she leaned up and kissed him, finally feeling as if she was able to do that without a pit of guilt forming in her lower abdomen. "Yes, I really mean it," Madison said once she reluctantly pulled away. "I love you so darn much, it's sickening," she teased, wrapping her arms around him. Her head rested on his chest, knowing that was where she belonged - with him. "I'm just.. so sorry, Ryder. I can't express that enough. I never meant to hurt you," she said, looking up at him and peppering small kisses on his jawline.

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Ryder: looked down at her. He wasn't sure how to react, a large part of him just wanted to believe her and take her back right then. Another large part was telling him to walk out the door and deal with the pain. "I just don't know Madi. I just don't. Did you even see us together since my accident or were you just playing along to make me feel better? How one sided was this?" He said sadly as he sat down on one of the beds.

Madison: realized she had two options: 1) tell him the truth or 2) continue lying. Seeing his reaction to the latter, it was clear why she chose to be honest. She took a deep breath and said, "If you want the truth, the only reason I did it at first was because I wanted to make you feel better. You had just gotten into an accident, lost your memory, and still thought you were with your ex-girlfriend? I hadn't even spoken to you in months after our break-up until the accident. They called me because I was one of your emergency contacts, so I went down and stayed there until I knew how you were. And when I saw you and you looked so happy to see me... I'm sorry," she reiterated yet again, knowing that no matter how many times she said it, it'd never be enough. "But that's not all of it," Madison quickly added. She went over to stand in front of him, bending down to look up at Ryder, her hands softly laying on his knees. "After we spent some time together, I realized that my feelings for you never really went away. I still loved-- love you," she corrected herself. "And I want to be with you. Because I meant it all last night. If you don't want me around anymore after all of this, then fine, but I can't let you believe that for one second I ever stopped caring about you." Her green eyes searched his for even an ounce of understanding.

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Ryder: took a deep breath and turned around to face her. He just wanted to hug her and tell her he was sorry for yelling. He was still just so mad she would lie to him that he couldn't bring himself to do what he wanted to do so bad. "I asked if we were still together. You could have been honest instead of telling me all that bullshit over text last night. Actually making me believe we were still meant to be together. I fucking love you Madison but now. I just, I never thought you would hurt me this bad." He said as he looked up when he could tell tears were forming in his eyes.

Madison: cursed at herself in her head, wishing she could turn back time and tell him from the beginning. Then she'd be sparing the both of them all the hurt and unwanted feelings. "You're right," she admitted. "But I made a mistake when I wanted to break up with you in the first place. Can't you see?" she asked, stepping closer to him. "It's you. It's always been you, and it will always be you, Ryder. It just took some time apart for me to realize that," she said. "I may have lied about us being together, but I have never ever lied about how I feel about you," Madison said, feeling like she was fighting an already lost battle. She wanted to reach out and wipe his tears away, but she knew she was on thin ice as it is - she didn't want to add onto it by unwarranted touches. "I'm so sorry," she said, unable to stop herself from tearing up.

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Ryder: just glared down at her. He couldn't believe she was still lying to him. "You fucking know what I'm talking about, Madison. How you broke up with me a few months ago. Why the fuck would you tell me you loved me and tell me we were still together? You knew I would find out eventually and yet you let this carry on. You let me believe you still loved me." He didn't mean to blow up on her like he did. Just her playing dumb made him so angry. He kicked a chair and turned around so he wouldn't face her, he couldn't look at her. It hurt too much.

Madison: took a step back when Ryder began screaming at her, having never seen him so worked up, especially not towards her. Tears filled her eyes, but she didn't bother to wipe them away as she saw nothing but anger radiating from him. When he kicked her chair, she gasped and the back of her knees hit her bed, knowing she couldn't back up anymore. She let him finish before she attempted to speak, the growing ball in her throat making it difficult to speak. "Ryder, I can explain," she started. "I didn't want to tell you when you were in the hospital because you were so... I don't know, happy to see me. How was I going to break the news to you when you were like that?" With a sniff, she took a step towards him, wanting him to turn to face her. "I thought it'd be best if you found out by yourself when your memory came back. But I /do/ love you, Ryder, you have to believe me," she pleaded, tears falling down her cheeks.

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Ryder: took a couple seconds before following her into her dorm. He looked to see if Jane was in the room, and was kind of glad she wasn't. He debated how he was going to start this. He was having such a hard time to not just ignore it in general with just being in her presence. He just loved the girl so much. On the other hand, she lied to him majorly and it hurt him more than anything else minus almost dying. "Why did you lie to me?" He said putting his hands in his pockets and looking down at her with sad eyes.

Madison: could swear she felt her blood run cold when he uttered the question, her first thought being, 'He knows. How does he know?' Part of her wanted to run but knew she had no chance with his large frame in the way. The other stood her ground, though terrified of what he'd say. With widened eyes that met his saddened ones, she struggled to find the words before she sputtered, "... w-what are you talking about?"

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Ryder: was happy to finally be out of the hospital and back to his dorm. He still hated what happened and still trying everything to get his memories back, which he's only gotten a couple that were useless. He was just glad he at least had Madison who made him feel all the better about everything. Even if something felt off. While in the hospital she seemed less intimate with him but he just took it because it was in the hospital. The previous night when they were out, she was the same. She was usually one to initiate kisses a lot and wasn't afraid of PDA. So that night he asked Mason about Madison and himself. Mason told him that the two broke up a few months ago. Which after he said that he cursed and left the room. Ryder sat there in shock over what he was just told. He couldn't think why they would break. He laid down and ended up crying a little bit. When he woke up the next morning he was more angry mixed with hurt over her lying to him. He changed into different clothes than ones he wore the previous night and walked to her dorm, he knew he had to confront her about this. Even if he had the option to carry on like nothing was wrong. He knocked on the door hard once he reached her room and waited for an answer.

Madison: had felt as if she was given a second chance to repair the damage she did months before. Despite the fact that she had distanced herself physically, she couldn't deny the way he made her heart pound as he promised to always love her. She often found herself wondering why she broke up with him in the first place. After spending a better part of her night bowling with him, she came back to her dorm and happily plopped on her bed. Her roommate Jane knew that smile all too well, but warned her about the repercussions once again. She knew things were too good to be true for too long, and the last thing she wanted was for Madison to be left in the aftermath with a broken heart. When the girl awoke, she had an extra skip in her step and went about her morning as usual - class, then a quick coffee at the campus coffee house before she went back to her dorm to relax a little while before her cheerleading practice. She had just finished changing into her workout clothes and was tying her hair into a tight ponytail when there was a sudden knock at her door. Madison quickly turned to face it, wondering whether it was Mason looking for Jane. When she opened the door, she was met with Ryder, which quickly put a smile to her face but it dwindled slowly, noting the awkward air surrounding them. "Hey, Ryder," she greeted, ushering him in. "What's up, babe?" she asked once she closed the door and faced him.

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Text to: Madison

Ryder: I love you so much Madi, just...thank you. I don't know how I would be able to do any of this without you.

Ryder: If you say so. At least my movies are good. Oh? Sleeping is allowed? Awesome! You have to be awake for at least two of them. That's fair.

Madison: I love you too, Ryder. So, so much. I promise I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here for as long as you want me.

Madison: Low blow, Lynn. Low blow. My movies are totes good, too! The one with Solange Knowles and Hayden Panettiere? Fantastic! Sleeping isn't allowed for every movie, so being awake for at least two is a minimum requirement. Granted, it isn't fair since yours has waaaay more movies than mine, but sleep will definitely be necessary to survive something like that. :p

#text

Text to: Madison

Ryder: I know, because you're amazing. I'm glad you finally are losing such a giant burden, that must have been awful. Dammit, I still feel like all but the first one needs to be burned. You have to sit through every Avengers movie, by all I mean the solo films and the actual Avengers film. No complaining or distracting me. Just cuddles and watching.

Madison: I love you because you're amazing, okay? You may have flaws, but it's made up by how kind and genuine you are. Seeing you be so hard on yourself because of what happened is difficult, so I just want you to remember that. For me.

Madison: First of all, how dare you. They are all flawless. Second of all, I'm reluctantly agreeing. Question, though: would the cuddling still count if I was sleeping?

#text

Text to: Madison

Ryder: I just wouldn't give me special treatment no matter what happened. I knew it! I knew you were too perfect to be a girl from Ohio! What do you have in mind?

Madison: ..You know I love you, right? Gosh, I know! Disguising myself a super awesome cheerleader was totally the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. Now I can finally stop pretending, such a burden has been lifted. If you lose, you watch all the Bring It On movies with me, without complaining or attempting to distract me from said movies. Just cuddles and watching. What about you?

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Text to: Madison

Ryder: Yes, lets give the kid who stupidly drove drunk some lenience. It will totally work. Your pout is the devils pout, that'll convince them more than me trying to talk to them. Pfft, no...I know I am a bowling champ. I just let you win sometimes.

Madison: You were still in an accident, Ryder. And lost a few months of your memory, so they'll get it... Oh, gosh. You figured it out. I'm not actually a girl from Ohio, I'm actually from the underworld, yep. That's how I got this oh-so convincing pout. I'm sorry you had to find out this way. And hm, we'll just have to settle this at the bowling alley. Care to make a wager?

#text

Text to: Madison

Ryder: Yeah. Little unimportant things. I don't know how I'm gonna go with school this semester with how my brain is right now. After bowling? Hah! Like you need to go easy on me. I'm a master bowler. Okay :)

Madison: That's good, though. A little progress is at least some progress. :) I'm sure your professors will understand once they hear what happened. I can definitely come with you if you talk to them. Just persuade them to be a little lenient on you with my pout, which seems to work so well on you. After bowling, I'm all yours, sweetie. Only in your dreams, Flynn Rider!

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Text to: Madison

Ryder: Same here. Now to hope my memory returns more. Which it's not doing too well. But at least I can walk again! Hmmm....I mean, we can make your brother scared to come into his own dorm. Or bowling? Is that too rigerous? I just want to move like a normal person.

Madison: Oh, are you only able to remember bits and pieces so far? And as super fun and tempting as that sounds, perhaps we can scar Mason some other time. You were holed up in a hospital far too long, the last thing you need is to be holed up in your dorm, even if it's with me. :p Bowling is totally not rigorous. Let's do it! I'll go easy on you this once. I'll drop by after I change from cheerleading practice to pick you up.

#text

Text to: Madison

Ryder: We need to go out and celebrate tomorrow! I finally get this stupid cast off. I can walk like a normal human! Hooray!

Madison: Yay! Congratulations, babe. :) I'm glad you're healing so well. How do you want to celebrate?

Madison: And nothing too rigorous! You still have to be careful. So no laser tag or anything along those lines. I rather not kick the butt of someone who just got out of a cast.

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the-mads-mccarthy

Forgotten || Rydison

acting-ryder-lynn

Ryder dug his head out of the pillow when she took his hand. He looked over at her with sad eyes. He always let his dad get into his head, even though his dad was never 100% happy with him which damaged their relationship majorly. “I would have rather he not call me stupid, even if I already feel that way.” He said wiping away a tear he felt fall down his cheek. “Even almost dying can’t make him stop being disappointed in having me as a son.” He said as he suddenly got really annoyed in the IV that was in his arm and wanted to pull at it to get it out of him. He tugged at it anyways even if he knew it would get nowhere but aggravate him more. He looked back over at Madison and gave her a small smile. “I love you, and just- thank you for being here.” He said as he moved up a little to give her a small kiss.

peppymadisonmccarthy

All Madison wanted to do was to make everything go away - his pain, his father, his sadness, everything. She wondered as to why he was even there in the first place. Ryder always seemed to be so careful, and the last thing she would’ve thought is that he would go out and drink and drive. It just wasn’t like him. Did... did I drive him to do this? she thought to herself, quickly shaking the idea from her head. If she were to begin thinking like that, Madison knew she’d be crushed by the overwhelming guilt. In hours, days, or weeks, he’d get his memory back and she wouldn’t have to worry herself sick over it. When he kissed her, she all but froze when their lips met. It had been weeks since they had kissed last, and Madison was trying to refrain from being more touchy-feely than she had to be.

But to Ryder, this was probably nothing new. Just another kiss to his girlfriend. She smiled as he pulled away, seeming to appear just fine. “I..I love you, too,” Madison said, not surprised by how genuine the words really were. She studied him for a moment before she leaned forward, stopping just before her lips touched his. A nervous smile flickered before she kissed him slowly, as if re-experiencing him. The way her heart beat in her chest, the butterflies in her stomach, the tingles that crawled up her skin - it was all still there. Frankly, it was overwhelming. Madison tucked a piece of hair behind her ear as she stood up and said, “I should probably go. I have a super early class tomorrow, and Mace is right - I need my beauty sleep. I’ll come back tomorrow, though, okay? I’ll even try to sneak you in some food because I know hospital food is icky at best.”

#para

the-mads-mccarthy

Forgotten || Rydison

acting-ryder-lynn

Ryder smiled at her agreeing to bring the DVD. “Awesome! Can’t wait.” He said, glad she was up to doing that. If she owned the DVD though then she would have to be alright with re-watching it and not just doing so to make him happy. “Eventually.” He said softly under his breath. He knew physically he’d be fine in a few weeks. Mentally, his memory was gone and learning he could have killed people, he kind of wished the wreck killed him. Of course that was something he wouldn’t tell anyone, but he knew his depression over that wasn’t going to go away soon. He was happy though when she hugged him. He didn’t hug her back since she pulled away too quickly. He took her phone but looked at it confused when the tone went off and showed a text from a guy. “Are we still together?” He asked, a hint of pain in his voice. He sighed of relief though when she explained it. “You’re a good friend.” He said, painfully laughing at that. He took her phone back and dialed his parents number. He smiled at the sound of his moms voice. He talked to her for a few minutes, telling her he was awake and that he just suffered some memory loss. He left out the detail of what he was doing to cause the wreck, even though he figured they knew. Especially when his dad got on the phone and started talking at how stupid he was being. His smile quickly faded when he was doing that. He just asked when they’d be down and they said in the next couple days at the most. He hung up the phone and handed it back to Madison. “My dad can’t ever just fully be happy for me…” He said sadly as he buried himself in his pillow.

peppymadisonmccarthy

While Ryder occupied himself with speaking to his parents, Madison’s gaze clouded over, deep in thought. It didn’t take a genius to know that he sounded hurt when he read the text and asked her if they were still together. If that were any indication of how it would be when he ever got his memory back (or rather, if), then she knew she had no choice but to just play along until he was at least out of the hospital. It’s bad, but it’s not that bad, Madison. You’re doing a public service to the man you love. Or used to love. Or still love, whatever, she thought, going back and forth.

Her eyes wandered over to Ryder, knowing that despite her best efforts, she still loved him. She didn’t want to hurt him yet again. Oh, bother. I’m in trouble. Once he got off the phone, the smile he once wore was long gone. She reached forward to hold his hand again. “I’m sure he’s relieved you’re okay. He just has a completely weird way of showing it,” Madison tried to assure him. “Try not to mind him too much. Just try to take it one step at a time. First step, get better. Second step, get out of here. Third step, conquer Mockingjay Part 1. Maybe not in that order,” she said with a laugh.

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the-mads-mccarthy

Forgotten || Rydison

acting-ryder-lynn

“Can you bring the DVD here? If it’s out. We can watch it together. Make up for last time.” Ryder said painfully shrugging. He noticed something seemed off with her. He wanted to ignore it, not think too much about it. He was hooked up to a bunch of machines, so he was probably overthinking it all. He frowned when she went off on him over him saying he thought he deserved it. He knew how bad it would be to argue back that he did and how much he truly hated himself for what he did. He just nodded and looked down, trying his hardest not to cry over this. When she mentioned his parents, he looked back up at her. “Can I borrow your phone and call them? I really want to talk to them…” He said words he never thought he would say. Moreso about talking to his dad than his mom.

peppymadisonmccarthy

“Yeah, totally. I’ll bring it tomorrow after class, so we can watch it,” Madison said, a small grin on her lips. If there was one thing she had learned in all of her years of performing, it was to put on a good show, which is what she was doing - or at least trying to. If she had to be his girlfriend for the time being, then she would try her hardest to at least make it believable. Seeing his eyes downcast after she spoke struck a soft spot within her. Madison leaned forward and gave him a hug, making sure not to squeeze him too tight. Before fully pulling back, she gave him a small kiss on the cheek and promised him, “Ryder, honestly... you’ll feel better soon.” She began rifling through her purse in search for her phone and once she did, she handed it to him. She was well aware of the relationship he harbored with his father, so she only imagined what their conversation would be like.

Although, when she had spoken on the phone with them, there seemed to be nothing but concern in their voices. Whatever happened, she hoped for the best between the two. Just as he was going to call, her text tone went off and it read, “Hey, cutie. Had a good time the other night. Let’s do it again, yeah? ;)” Ryder read it before she did and her eyes widened when she did. “Oh, that’s.. Do you remember my friend Becca? Her date didn’t go so well the other night, so rather than give the guy her number, she gave them mine because she wanted me to get him off her back,” Madison said with a roll of her eyes, playing the part. She deleted the text and handed the phone back to him, trying to look unfazed despite the fact that her heart was beating rapidly.

#para

the-mads-mccarthy

Forgotten || Rydison

acting-ryder-lynn

Ryder looked shocked at her when she told him what had happened. All he knew was a car accident, he didn’t know he was the one who caused it. He was never one to drink and drive, hell he didn’t even like drinking that much. He was mad at himself for doing something so stupid, something that could have harmed other people. “Good, I’m glad. I’m glad I’m here…” He said trailing off. He was happy to be this hurt, in his mind he deserved it. Everything he had, the memory loss, the two day coma, all of it.

Ryder shook his head at her question about remembering the ending of the movie. “Last I remember was excitedly getting the tickets. You’ll have to show me the movie again. It sucks, I was really excited over it too. Did I at least like it?” He asked, trying to calm himself down by just thinking of the movie he really wanted to see. Which he did feel better when she took his hand, something that was oddly very calming. “I imagine so, glad Mason convinced you. I’m glad you waited for me, even if I don’t deserve it.” He gave her a small smile and shook his head. “Don’t worry, I won’t. I’ve learned my lesson.” He said as he lifted her hand up and gave it a small kiss. “So question…where are my parents? Why aren’t they here?” He asked, feeling like someone would have called them. Unless they were too mad at him for causing this wreck that they didn’t want to see his face.

peppymadisonmccarthy

“You can totes watch it after you’re out of here,” Madison said, refraining from using the word ‘we’. This felt... odd. When she woke up this morning, the last thing she thought she would be doing was pretending to be her ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend. She almost felt as if she were doing something wrong, which in hind sight, it was, but he already had enough brain trauma as it was. She didn’t want to add to it by unloading something like that onto him right after he awoke from his coma. “I think you liked it, but I can’t remember. It was just so long ago,” she added, trailing off. When he said something along the lines of not deserving it, she furrowed her brows in confusion. “Wait, what?” she asked, tilting her head to the side slightly. “Do you mean because of what happened?” she continued. “Because if that’s the case, Ry, I would have to have Mason come down here and hold me back if you weren’t already so bruised up. Sure, drinking and driving wasn’t your smartest choice, but you deserve to be here as much as anyone else. You’re a good guy,” Madison emphasized.

“And you have friends and family who care the heck out of you, so if I hear you say that again, I will not hesitate to smack you silly, understand?” she said, a straight face dawning her features. Seeing as she was rarely seen without a smile gracing her face, when she got serious, everyone knew she meant it. “I called your parents and they were snowed in in Ohio, but they told me they’d be here as soon as they could. They’re worried about you, but I’m sure they’ll be super happy to hear that you’re awake. Do you want me to call them right now?” she asked, beginning to get up from her seat. Part of her wanted Ryder to agree, wanting nothing more than to turn around and have an excuse to run in the opposite direction to process everything. But the other part of her wanted him to pull her back because being with him again shouldn’t have felt as easy as it was and she just wanted to revel in the fact that he was awake and alive and happy to see her.

#para

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