YOU WERE ALWAYS MY PERSON
SUMMERY; michael wont stfu about miss "perfect" d*ana r*ss. so y/n, has to be honest. which leads to a week silence. michael sees her at a diner with another guy...and realises hes losing her. was she the one he loved all along?
preotw!michael xfemreader!
WARNINGS; angst, mentions of d*ana r*ss, happy ending <3
PLEASE this is my first like romance fanfic ive ever written..im so sorry if its complete shit cries.
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it was late afternoon at the hayvenhurst house. y/n was sprawled out across michael’s bed, lying flat on her stomach with her chin propped up in her hands, flipping the page of a book she’d been trying to read for the past two hours. honestly, she'd been reading the same three paragraphs over and over again.
downstairs, she could hear the muffled sound of the family—someone was playing the piano, probably randy, and she could hear katherine's soft laughter from the kitchen. katherine had already peeked her head in earlier to offer her some lemonade, totally used to y/n just hanging out in michael's space while he was away at the studio.
the two of them had been inseparable since the day the jacksons moved to encino. y/n's mom did a lot of high-end fashion design work, which meant y/n was always around creative crowds, but michael was different. she still remembered him just roaming the neighborhood streets back then, looking a little lost but so curious about everything. the second they started talking, it was like everything clicked.
and of course, y/n fell for him. come on, who wouldn't? he had this soft, magnetic energy that just pulled her in. but it was a quiet, aching kind of love, because there was a massive hurdle she could never cross.
the door to the bedroom suddenly swung open, and michael practically bounced inside. he was wearing a striped button-down shirt that was half-untucked, his afro perfectly rounded out, and he had his notebook clutched tight against his chest. he looked exhausted but totally wired, his eyes bright.
"y/n, oh my god, you're still here, good," he said, kicking the door shut behind him with his heel. he threw himself onto the foot of the bed, face down into the mattress, groaning happily. "quincy worked me so hard today. my throat is so sore."
y/n smiled, sitting up. "let me guess. he made you do the vocals for don't stop 'til you get enough again?"
"five times," michael mumbled into the blanket, his voice muffled. then he rolled over onto his back, staring up at the ceiling, a dreamy smile slowly spreading across his face.
he then sat up, as he started explaining the music with his hands. "we were talking about the feeling of the album. i told quincy i want it to be magical. like, when people listen to it in their cars or their rooms, they feel like they can fly. diana told me once that music should always make you feel like you're dreaming, and that's exactly what i'm trying to do."
there it was. just a quick, casual mention, but it still sent a familiar little pinch straight to y/n's heart. she then picked up her book, reading... well, fake reading. anything to keep her mouth shut.
"mother said i shouldn't get too caught up in my daydreams," michael murmured, his voice dropping to that gentle, private register he only used when it was just the two of you. he reached out, his long fingers gently tapping the side of her arm. "were you lonely today? i'm sorry i took so long at the studio."
"no, mike, i'm fine," y/n said quickly, looking up and forcing a genuine smile because she hated seeing him look worried. "i love hanging out here. and the track sounds amazing, seriously. it's going to be a huge album."
michael beamed at her, his whole face lighting up again, completely relieved by her answer. "we're a team. you're my lucky charm."
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they went downstairs together after that to grab some food, but the quiet vibe didn't last long before they headed back up. the walk back up the stairs was quiet. michael was focused on balancing a donut in one hand and his half-empty glass of orange juice in the other, taking the steps slow so he wouldn't spill anything.
when they both got back into his room, y/n immediately went right back to her spot on the bed. she climbed up, settling onto her stomach, and pulled her book back open. but her eyes weren't really tracking the words. her chest still felt tight, her heart hammering against her ribs for no good reason.
michael kicked off his loafers and sat cross-legged at the desk in the corner. he pulled his notebook toward him, tapping the eraser of a yellow pencil against his chin, completely lost in his own thoughts for a minute.
"she just understands the vision," michael murmured out of nowhere, not even looking back at her. he was tracing a line in his notebook, his voice airy and faraway. "the way diana is under a microscope, she told me i have to protect my peace. and she’s just so beautiful, y/n. like, inside and out. she's got this elegance that i wish i could—"
"you know she's older, right?"
the words blurted out of y/n's mouth before she could stop them. they sounded incredibly sharp in the quiet room, practically hanging in the air like smoke.
michael paused. the tapping of his pencil stopped entirely. he slowly turned around in his chair, his brow furrowing as he blinked at her, genuinely confused. "huh? i mean... yeah, of course i know that. what does that have to do with anything?"
"it's just... there's no way it would ever happen, michael," she said bluntly.
she knew she was being mean. she could see the slight flinch in his eyes, but the words were just rushing out of her now, fueled by weeks and weeks of holding it all in. everything about diana always made y/n feel completely off. she hated how much power she had over him. she hated watching her play with his feelings or lead him on, acting like his best friend one day and his untouchable muse the next, while he just worshipped the ground she walked on.
michael’s entire demeanor shifted. the gentle, daydreaming boy disappeared, replaced by a defensive sharpness. his jaw tightened, and he stood up from the chair, holding his pencil tight. his voice raised just a bit, pitching higher the way it did when he got genuinely distressed.
"why are you saying that?" he asked, his voice trembling slightly with hurt. "why are you being so unkind about her today? she hasn't done anything to you, y/n."
"i'm not trying to be unkind, i'm being realistic!" she exclaimed, sitting up on the bed and abandoning the book completely. "you're sitting here pining over someone who looks at you like a younger brother, mike. it’s... it's just hard to watch. she’s leading you on, and you’re too blind to see it because you're so obsessed with her."
"i am not blind!" michael's voice cracked, and he took a step toward the bed. his big eyes were wide and flashing with real upset now, his cheeks flushing. he hated being called blind, and he hated when people treated him like he didn't understand the real world. "you don't know anything about our relationship. you don't know what she says to me when we're alone. she cares about me. she really cares about me."
"i care about you! she cares about your career, michael! she likes being the person you run to!" y/n said back, her own voice shaking because her heart was beating so hard it felt like it was going to burst right out of her chest. "she likes the attention, and you're letting her take advantage of how sweet you are."
"stop it, just—stop it," michael snapped, his voice dropping into a tense, breathless whisper that felt even heavier than a shout. he stared at her, his eyes welling up with sudden, angry tears. "you're just being jealous and mean. you're just trying to ruin the one thing that makes me feel inspired right now. you don't understand what it's like for me, y/n. you don't know what it feels like to have everyone wanting a piece of you, and she's the only one who doesn't. you're supposed to be my best friend, but you're just acting like everyone else outside that gate."
the words hit her like a physical punch.
y/n just froze. the heat in her face instantly drained away, leaving her completely cold. she stared at him, her breath hitching in her throat, her mouth slightly open but absolutely nothing coming out. comparing her to the greedy people outside his gates was the worst thing he could have possibly said to her.
michael stayed frozen too, breathing heavily through his nose, his shoulders tense. but almost immediately, the anger in his eyes flickered, replaced by a sudden, horrible look of regret. he looked down at his own hands, then back up at her pale face, realizing exactly how deeply his words had cut her. he hadn't meant it—he'd just reacted out of pure, stung pride—but the room was completely dead silent now.
y/n swallowed hard, trying to keep her chin from trembling.
"alright," she said quietly. it was barely a whisper, but in the sudden, heavy silence of his bedroom, it sounded incredibly loud.
she let out a shaky, heavy breath, looking anywhere but at him. "if that’s how you really feel... then i’ll get out of your way. and join the people at the gates" she spat.
she quickly scrambled off the bed, her knees a little weak, and grabbed her book and her bag. her fingers were shaking so bad she could barely loop the strap over her shoulder.
michael didn't move. he just stood there by his desk, his eyes glued to the floor, staring hard at his bare feet against the carpet. his arms were crossed tightly over his chest, his shoulders hunched inward. he looked so small like that, completely shut down. he didn't say a single word to stop her. y/n knew him well enough to know that michael really wasn't the type to easily admit when he was in the wrong—especially not when his pride was stung. when he got like this, he just closed off like a lock.
she walked over to the door, the soles of her shoes squeaking softly on the floor. she reached out and wrapped her fingers around the cool brass door handle, but she stopped. she couldn't help it.
she turned her head slightly, looking back over her shoulder one last time, hoping—just praying—that he would look up and tell her to stay.
but he didn't. instead, michael slowly sank back down into his desk chair. he didn't look at her. he just picked up his yellow pencil, pulled his notebook closer, and turned his back to her, pretending to go right back to writing his lyrics. his shoulders were still incredibly tense, but he was choosing the music over her.
hot, burning tears welled up in y/n's eyes instantly. she blinked them back furiously, absolutely refusing to let them fall in his room. she wasn't going to let him see her cry over this.
she let out a small, wet sniffle, turned the handle, and slipped out into the hallway, pulling the door shut behind her with a quiet, devastating click.
y/n practically bolted down the stairs, her feet moving as fast as they could without actually running. she kept her head down, blinking rapidly to force the remaining heat out of her eyes. all she wanted was to get through the front door, walk down the driveway, and get back to the safety of her own bedroom before she completely fell apart.
but just as she reached the bottom step and went to hurry past the entryway, katherine popped up from around the corner, holding a stack of freshly folded towels.
"hey sweetheart, leaving so soon?" katherine asked, her voice incredibly sweet and gentle, completely cutting through the heavy thumping of y/n's heart.
y/n froze, her stomach dropping into a tight knot. she quickly took a sharp breath, pasting on a fake smile as she turned around to face her.
"yeah... my mom needs me home for something," y/n lied, her voice sounding a little tighter than usual, though she tried her best to make it sound casual. she adjusted the strap of her bag on her shoulder, taking a tiny half-step toward the door to show she was in a rush. "thanks for letting me stay again, mrs. jackson."
katherine paused, her warm eyes narrowing just a fraction as she looked at y/n's face. she didn't say anything right away, but she set the towels down on the small table by the hallway. katherine had raised enough children to know exactly what a kid looked like when they were trying to hide a heavy heart.
"are you sure everything is alright, honey?" katherine asked softly, stepping a little closer and reaching out to gently touch y/n's forearm. her hand was so warm, it almost made y/n want to let go of the lie right then and there. "michael didn't say something silly to upset you, did he? you know how he gets when he’s working on his music... he gets so deep in his own head."
y/n’s throat felt tight again, the lie tasting like ash in her mouth. she couldn't bring herself to get michael in trouble, even if he had just broken her heart.
"no, no, it's nothing like that, mrs. jackson, really," y/n said kindly, offering another small, reassuring nod. "we just... he needs to focus on his lyrics today, and i don't want to get in his way. i really should get home before my mom gets worried."
katherine looked at her for another long moment, clearly not entirely convinced, but she was too polite to push when y/n was clearly struggling to hold it together. she let out a soft, sympathetic sigh and patted y/n’s arm one last time.
"alright, sweetheart. you tell your mother i said hello," katherine murmured, giving her a small, comforting smile. "and you come back whenever you like, okay? you're always welcome here. don't you forget that."
"i won't. thank you," y/n whispered.
she gave katherine one last tight smile, turned around, and finally pushed the heavy front door open. the cool evening air hit her face instantly, a sharp contrast to the suffocating warmth of the house, and she hurried down the steps before the first tear could finally slip down her cheek.
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the silent treatment lasted for an entire week. seven days of absolute, deafening quiet between them.
for michael, it was his pride that kept his hand away from the telephone. every time he passed the phone in the hallway, he’d stare at it, his fingers twitching, but then he’d remember the argument and shut down all over again. he just couldn't bring himself to face being in the wrong. and for y/n, she was just tired. she had spent years putting his feelings first, and this time, she was holding her ground. if he wanted her back in his life, he was going to have to be the one to make the first move.
by the seventh day, michael couldn't take it anymore. the house felt empty, his studio sessions were completely flat, and he was miserable. he finally cracked. he goes to bill, and quietly asked him to pull the car around to drive him down the street to y/n’s house. it was now nightfall.
when the car pulled up against the curb, michael took a deep breath, adjusting his dark sunglasses before stepping out. he walked up the familiar porch steps, his heart doing a nervous little flutter against his ribs, and knocked softly on the wood.
after a few seconds, the door swung open, and y/n’s mother stood there.
"michael!" she beamed, her face lighting up with genuine surprise as she wiped her hands on a checkered tea towel. "oh, it’s been a while! how is the album coming along?"
michael forced a polite, sweet smile, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "hey, miss l/n. it’s going really well, actually. quincy is really happy with the tracks." he paused, his voice dropping into that soft, tentative whisper. "uhm... is y/n here, by any chance?"
m/n’s smile faded a bit, her brow furrowing in a slight frown. "oh. sorry, honey, no. she left just a little bit ago."
michael’s shoulders slumped, his face dropping. "oh. do you know where she went? maybe the library, or the corner store?"
m/n shook her head, folding the tea towel over her arm. "no, i'm pretty sure she actually went out to the diner with caleb."
michael froze. his entire face dropped.
the name tasted completely foreign and sour in his head. who on earth was caleb?
"uhm... caleb?" he asked, trying to keep his voice completely casual, but there was a sharp, strained pitch to his tone that he couldn't quite mask.
m/n just smiled and nodded, completely oblivious to the sudden tension radiating off him. "yeah! a friend of hers from a while back. he came by to pick her up, and they went over to the diner together to grab some food."
"did you want me to tell her you dropped by?" m/n asked sweetly, adjusting the towel on her arm.
michael quickly shook his head, his curls bouncing slightly with the movement. "no, it's okay. thanks, miss l/n." he forced one last polite, small smile before turning on his heel and walking back down the porch steps.
bill was already holding the back door of the car open for him, giving him a quiet, sympathetic look. he had seen the way michael’s shoulders had dropped during the brief conversation. michael slid into the plush backseat, staring blankly ahead as bill climbed into the driver's seat and looked back over his shoulder.
"home, mike?" bill asked softly.
michael hesitated, his fingers tapping the car door. his chest was tight, a million thoughts racing through his head. he couldn't just go back to that quiet bedroom and wonder. he shook his head.
"the diner," he murmured, his voice barely audible. "go to the diner, bill."
bill didn't ask any questions. he just put the car in drive and pulled away from the curb.
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the car pulled up across the street from the local diner. the bright neon sign buzzed overhead, casting a pink and blue glow over the pavement. michael leaned closer to the tinted glass of the window, his breath slightly fogging the surface as his eyes scanned the interior through the big glass windows.
it didn't take him long to find her.
y/n was sitting in a booth right near the front. she was wearing a beautiful blue sundress that he had never seen before, her hair done up half-up, half-down, and her little earrings swayed gently every time she moved her head. she looked absolutely stunning. but michael’s jaw instantly clenched the second his eyes moved across the table to the guy sitting opposite her.
he was... incredibly basic looking, to be completely honest. he was just wearing a plain t-shirt and jeans, with messy hair and an average smile. michael let out a bitter, quiet scoff under his breath, crossing his arms tightly over his chest.
"can you believe this, bill? him? seriously?" michael muttered, his tone uncharacteristically sharp and biting. "he looks like any other regular guy. there's nothing special about him at all."
bill just stayed silent in the front seat, keeping his eyes in front of him, knowing better than to fuel the fire when michael got into one of his rare, stubborn moods.
michael kept watching, unable to tear his eyes away even though it was hurting him. he saw how genuinely happy y/n looked. she was leaning forward, listening intently, and then she threw her head back and laughed. her eyes squinted up the exact way they always did when she was truly happy—the way they used to when they were hanging out on his bed talking about silly things.
then, caleb smiled and leaned across the table. his hand reached out, his fingers carefully catching a loose strand of hair that had fallen across y/n's face, gently tucking it behind her ear. y/n’s cheeks flushed a soft pink, and she looked down at the table, a shy, sweet smile spreading across her lips.
michael’s chest tightened so hard he actually gasped for air, his hand rubbing the fabric of his pants as he rubbed them on his knee. he had never felt a burning, suffocating panic quite like this before.
and suddenly, right there in the dark backseat of the car, the fog in his brain completely cleared.
it hit him like a physical blow to the chest. the burning, agonizing pain in his stomach wasn't just simple jealousy, and it didn't feel anything like the distant, safe admiration he had for diana. diana was a fantasy. but this—watching y/n smile at someone else, watching another man touch her face—felt like his entire life was being erased right in front of him. he didn't just miss his best friend. he was in love with her. he had been in love with her all along, hidden behind his safe daydreams because he was too terrified to admit how much power she held over his heart.
that should be me, michael thought, a fierce, protective certainty blooming right over the panic. i'm the one who's supposed to make her laugh like that.
michael let out a shaky, frustrated sigh, his chest heaving as he stared at caleb's hand near her face. he couldn't just sit in the back of a dark car and watch this happen anymore. he reached down and unbuckled his seatbelt with a loud, sharp click.
"i'll be back," he muttered.
before bill could even open his mouth to warn him or tell him it was a bad idea, michael was already pushing the car door open. he adjusted his sunglasses, and checked his shirt as he strode across the asphalt of the street. his heart was pounding a mile a minute, a mix of pure nerves and stubborn determination driving him forward.
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the little bell above the diner door jingled loudly as he pushed it open. the smell of grease and sweet milkshakes hit him, but his eyes were locked entirely on the front booth.
he didn't hesitate. he walked right up to their table and, without asking for permission, slid right into the booth directly next to y/n. he did it smoothly, his left arm casually stretching out along the top of the seat behind her shoulders, almost completely surrounding her space.
"hey guys," he simply said. his voice was soft, cool, and completely casual, like he hadn't just spent the last week ignoring her.
y/n’s head whipped around so fast her earrings rattled. she stared at him, her lips parted in total shock, her eyes wide as she took in his face. "michael?!" she exclaimed, her voice pitching up in pure surprise.
across the table, caleb just froze with his straw halfway to his mouth. he looked back and forth between the two of them, completely blindsidedby the celebrity suddenly crowding into their booth. "uhh..." caleb trailed off awkwardly, his face going a little red.
michael just smiled, tilting his chin up. he didn't take his sunglasses off, using the dark lenses to hide the fierce look he had in his eyes as he stared at caleb. instead, he immediately started being incredibly petty, his voice dropping into that sweet, overly innocent tone he used when he was trying to get under someone's skin.
"so, what are we eating?" michael asked, leaning in a little closer to y/n, completely ignoring caleb’s existence now. he peered down at her plate. "crinkle-cut fries? you know those aren't good for you, y/n. you usually prefer the home-fries at the cafe down the road. remember? the ones we always get after the studio?"
y/n’s shock instantly melted into pure irritation. the nerve of this guy to show up after seven days of silence just to ruin her night.
"michael," y/n snapped, her voice low and warning as she nudged her elbow back against his ribs to get him to move away.
but michael didn't budge. he just gave a little airy, high-pitched chuckle, tapping his long fingers against the vinyl of the seat right behind her head. "i'm just saying! and who is your friend here? you never told me you had friends who liked greasy diner food. caleb, right? that's a nice shirt, caleb. did you get it on sale? it looks very... comfortable."
caleb looked down at his own shirt, his face turning an even brighter shade of red under michael’s dark sunglasses. he awkwardly tugged at the collar, clearing his throat. "uhh, yeah, actually... it was on sale at the department store downtown. it's just cotton."
michael just hummed, a short, airy sound that didn't sound convinced at all. his eyes remained fixed entirely on the profile of caleb's face, his thumb lazily tracing a small circle on the vinyl seat right behind y/n's neck.
y/n’s jaw tightened, the sheer embarrassment of the situation making her blood boil. she turned her head completely, glaring right into michael's lenses from only a few inches away.
"michael, you need to leave," y/n snapped, her voice dropping into a harsh, fierce whisper so the families at the nearby tables wouldn't start staring at them. "right now. go back to your car."
michael didn't move an inch. he just tilted his head, his lower lip pouting out just a tiny bit in that stubborn, innocent way he got whenever katherine told him he couldn't do something. "why? i'm hungry, y/n. i just wanted to see my best friend. i haven't seen you all week."
"gee, i wonder why," she muttered bitterly, crossing her arms tightly over her chest and leaning forward to put some distance between her back and his hovering arm.
across the table, caleb shifted uncomfortably in his seat. he looked at y/n, then looked at michael, trying to summon whatever courage he had left.
"yeah, i mean... i'm sorry, man," caleb said, his voice trailing off awkwardly as he tried to find the right words. "but we're... we're kind of on a date right now. we were just trying to have a nice dinner."
the word date seemed to echo in the cramped space of the booth.
michael’s entire demeanor went completely still. the petty, playful smirk instantly vanished from his lips, his jaw setting into a hard, rigid line. the reality of it hit him like ice water. this wasn't just some old school friend y/n was catching up with over fries. this guy was trying to take her out. he was trying to be the person who took her home, who held her hand, who looked at her the way michael secretly wished he had the guts to.
"a date," michael repeated, his voice dropping into a quiet, breathless register that felt suddenly dangerous. he finally took off his sunglasses, folding them with one hand and dropping them onto the table. his large, dark eyes locked onto caleb, flashing with a raw, intense protectiveness that he couldn't hide anymore. "i see."
the silence that followed was completely suffocating. caleb looked at y/n, his eyes wide and completely lost, then he looked over at michael, and then back at her, waiting for someone to explain what was happening.
y/n just brought her hand up, rubbing her forehead in pure, burning embarrassment. she couldn't even look up. her cheeks were flaming, and she wished the checkered floor would just open up and swallow her whole.
michael, on the other hand, didn't look bothered at all. now that his sunglasses were on the table, he just sat there with a little, satisfied smile on his face, casually looking around the diner like he was just admiring the wallpaper. he tapped his fingers rhythmically against the vinyl seat, completely relaxed now that he’d successfully ruined the mood.
caleb smiled awkwardly, shifting his weight from side to side before finally reaching his breaking point. "yeah... i think i'm just gonna... go."
he stood up from the booth, his legs looking a little shaky. he reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, placing a crumpled twenty-dollar bill on the table right next to michael’s sunglasses. "uhm, see you around, y/n."
he didn't even wait for her to answer. he just turned on his heel and practically sprinted toward the door, the little bell jingling frantically behind him as he burst out into the night air.
michael hummed, his eyes tracking the guy through the big glass window until he disappeared down the sidewalk. "well. that was quick," he said, turning his head back to look at y/n, his tone completely innocent, like he hadn't just orchestrated the whole thing.
y/n glared at him, her eyes flashing with pure fury. she let out a loud, disgusted scoff.
"goodbye, michael," she said, her voice shaking with rage.
before he could even react, she slid across the seat, pushing right past him, her elbow digging into his chest as she forced her way out of the booth. she bolted for the door, storming out into the cool evening air.
michael’s eyes went wide, his smile instantly vanishing. "y/n, wait—!"
he scrambled out of the booth after her, grabbing his sunglasses. he pushed open the diner door, the bell clattering wildly, and looked down the street. her blue dress fluttering as she walked faster and faster down the sidewalk, her heels clicking sharply against the concrete.
"y/n, please! stop walking!" michael called out, his voice pitching high and strained as he started into a jog to catch up with her.
"you have some nerve, michael!" she snapped over her shoulder, not slowing down for a single second. she pumped her arms, her chest heaving with every breath. "what is wrong with you?! you don't talk to me for a whole week, and then you just show up acting as if nothing happened and completely ruin my date!"
"it wasn't a good date anyway!" michael called back, finally catching up to her side, his long strides easily matching her fast pace. he was breathing a little heavy, his hand reaching out tentatively toward her arm but not quite touching her yet. "he was boring, y/n! he didn't even know what kind of fries you liked!"
"that is not the point!" she yelled, finally spinning around on her heel to face him, forcing him to skid to a halt right in front of her under the dim glow of a streetlamp. "the point is that you don't get to just disappear and then come back and control my life! you don't own me, michael!"
michael stopped, his arms dropping to his sides. the petty, stubborn look on his face completely melted away, leaving him looking incredibly raw and vulnerable.
"why are you here?" she snapped. her voice was tight, trembling just a little bit as she stared him down under the dim orange glow of the streetlamp. "seriously, michael. why did you come?"
michael froze, the sudden sharpness of her question catching in his throat. he slowly reached up, his long fingers wrapping around the back of his neck, rubbing the skin there nervously. he looked down at the concrete between his loafers, his shoulders hunching inward until he looked so small.
"i... i don't know," he murmured, his voice dropping into that soft, breathless whisper. "i mean, i do know. i just... i couldn't take the quiet anymore, y/n. the whole house has been so quiet all week."
"so you decided to come mark your territory?" she asked bitterly, her jaw clenching. "you wouldn't even look at me when i left your room last week. you just went right back to your notebook. and now you follow me to a diner just to make a fool out of me in front of someone else?"
"no! no, it wasn't like that, i swear," michael said quickly, his head snapping up. his large, dark eyes were wide and shiny with sudden distress, pleading with her to believe him. he took a tiny, tentative step closer, his hands reaching out in front of him. "your mom told me you went out with him, and my stomach just... it went completely cold, y/n. i didn't even think. i just told bill to drive here because the thought of you sitting in there with some stranger... it made me feel sick."
"he wasn't a stranger, michael, he was my date," she said, emphasizing the word. "something normal people do when they're trying to move on."
"but i don't want you to move on!" michael raised his voice just a fraction, a raw, strained pitch breaking through his usual gentle tone. he looked at her, his bottom lip trembling a little bit as the honesty finally tore out of him, past all his stubborn pride. "i don't want you going to dinners with regular guys, and i don't want anyone else tucking your hair behind your ear. that's... that's supposed to be my job. you're my person, y/n. you've always been my person."
"you're selfish, i don't belong to you michael," she snapped, the words cutting right through the quiet space between them. her voice was thick with all the hurt she’d been carrying around. "maybe go to diana. she'll take you without missing a beat."
she didn't even wait to see the look on his face. she just turned right back around and started walking again.
michael stood frozen under the streetlight for a split second, the mention of diana’s name hitting him like a splash of freezing water. it just made his face fall into an expression of pure, panicked regret. he immediately hurried after her, his long strides frantic as his loafers scuffed against the concrete.
"y/n, wait! please, just listen to me for one second!" he called out, his voice pitching high and thin, sounding completely desperate. he caught up to her side, but she kept her gaze locked dead ahead. "that’s not fair. why are you bringing her up right now? this doesn't have anything to do with diana."
"it has everything to do with her, michael!" she said, her voice cracking as she finally slowed down just enough to glare at him while they walked. "you spend months talking about how perfect she is, how she's your muse, how she's the only one who understands you. you treat me like i'm just... just some permanent fixture in your room that will always be there waiting for you. and then the second i try to go out and have a normal life with someone else, you show up and ruin it because your pride can't handle it?"
"it’s not my pride!" michael protested, his voice straining as he reached out, his long fingers gently but firmly catching the fabric of her sleeve to force her to stop.
she yanked her arm back, but she did stop, turning to face him.
michael looked at her, his eyes completely glassy and wet with sudden tears. "i'm sorry," he whispered, the words coming out in a breathless, shaky rush. "i'm so sorry, y/n. i know i said horrible things last week. i didn't mean it when i said you were like the people outside the gate. i was just... you were saying things that scared me, and i got defensive. but this week has been awful. i couldn't even sing at the studio because every time i looked across the room, you weren't sitting on the couch with your book. it felt empty. and when your mother said you were with caleb... it didn't have anything to do with diana. it didn't feel like how i feel about her at all. it felt worse. it felt like... like someone was trying to take away my whole world."
y/n looked right into his large, dark eyes, her own vision blurring completely. "i need you to be honest with me, michael," she said, her voice cracking in a raw, painful way that made him flinch. she let out a small, shaky sniffle, wrapping her arms tighter around herself. "i can't... i can't keep loving someone if they don't love me back."
right as the confession left her lips, a cool drop of water hit her cheek. then another. within seconds, a soft, quiet rain started to patter down on the pavement around them, dark spots spreading across her blue dress and dampening the curls around michael’s face. but neither of them moved.
michael just stared at her, completely paralyzed. his mouth parted slightly, his breath hitching in his throat as the absolute weight of what she had just said sank into his chest. michael stepped closer, ignoring the rain entirely as it started to stick his striped shirt to his shoulders. he reached out, his long, slender fingers trembling slightly as he took her hands, pulling them away from her chest so he could hold them tight in his own.
"y/n..." he whispered, his voice cracking. "how can you say that? how can you think i don't love you?"
"because you don't look at me the way you look at her, michael!" she cried out softly. "you treat me like a safety net!"
"no, no, that's not it at all," michael said quickly, shaking his head frantically. he squeezed her hands tighter, stepping so close that she could feel the heat radiating off him in the cool rain. "you don't understand, y/n. diana... diana is like a dream. she’s like a painting in a museum that i look at when i want to feel inspired. but you... you're real. you're the ground under my feet. i don't talk about you to everyone because i don't want the world to touch this. i don't want the cameras to see you. i thought... i thought you knew that. i thought you knew you were the only thing keeping me sane."
he swallowed hard, his chest heaving under his damp red shirt. he leaned his forehead forward, almost touching hers, his voice dropping into a desperate, intense whisper.
"i do love you," he murmured. "i love you so much it scares me, y/n. that's why i almost lost my mind seeing you in that diner i want you. i've always wanted you."
y/n sniffled, her chest heaving as another wave of cold rain swept down the dark street. "how can i believe you?" she asked, her voice cracking so badly that the words were barely a whisper against the storm. "how... how do i know that that is true, michael? how do i know it's not just some lie you're telling me right now so you can just take me back?"
she tried to pull her hands away, but michael wouldn't let go.
"it's not a lie, y/n, i swear to you on my life it's not," michael pleaded, his voice pitching high and strained with pure earnestness. "i don't want things to go back to how they were. i don't want to hide how i feel anymore. i was just... i was so stupid and scared."
"scared of what, michael?!" she cried out softly.
"scared of how much you matter to me," he confessed, his voice dropping into a breathless whisper. he let go of one of her hands and reached up, his long, warm fingers carefully cupping the side of her wet face. "with everyone else... there's a game to play. there's a show. but with you, it's just me. just michael. and if i lose you, y/n, i don't have anything real left. i thought if i kept you as my best friend, i could keep you safe from all the craziness. but seeing you with that guy tonight... it felt like my heart was being ripped right out of my chest. i can't watch you love someone else. please don't make me do that."
he leaned his forehead down, resting it gently against hers, his warm breath fanning across her face in the chilly night air.
"i'll prove it to you," he whispered against her skin. "every single day. i'll show you. just... please don't alone."
the only sound for a long moment was the soft, steady patter of the rain hitting the concrete. y/n stayed completely quiet, and she closed her eyes. her forehead was still resting against his, her breath coming in shallow, shaky puffs. she took a deep, shuddering breath, the cool rain soothing the hot flush on her cheeks. she slowly opened her eyes, looking into his, from only inches away.
"okay..." she whispered, her voice barely audible over the rain, but it made michael’s whole body instantly freeze. she let out a small, wet sniffle, her eyes searching his face. "show me."
michael didn't even waste a second to answer with words.
before she could even process the relief washing over his face, he leaned the rest of the way in. his long fingers, still cupping the side of her wet cheek, slid gently into her damp hair, and he kissed her.
it wasn't a sudden or aggressive kiss; it was sweet, incredibly soft, and hesitant at first, completely matching his gentle nature. his lips were warm against hers, a sharp and perfect contrast to the freezing rain dripping down their faces. it felt like a quiet confession he’d been holding back for years, pouring all the words he couldn't find into the touch.
y/n’s heart did a violent, dizzying flip in her chest. her hands, which had been resting tensely against his chest, instantly relaxed. she let her eyelids flutter shut, her fingers gripping the damp fabric of his shirt to pull him even closer.
as she melted into him, michael let out a tiny, shaky breath against her lips, his other arm wrapping securely around her waist to pull her flush against him. the kiss deepened just a fraction, becoming more certain, warmer, completely erasing the ghost of diana, the fight in his bedroom, and the week of agonizing silence between them.
when he finally pulled back, just an inch or two, he didn't let go of her. his forehead came right back to rest against hers, both of them breathing heavily in the cool night air. michael’s large, dark eyes were wide and absolutely shining as he looked down at her, a massive, breathless smile slowly spreading across his face. his cheeks were flushed a deep, beautiful color.
"i'm sorry," he whispered, leaning his forehead against hers again. "i'm so sorry."
he closed his eyes and kissed her again softly. the kiss was sweet and short, and when he pulled away, he looked at her with almost puppy-dog eyes. "forgive me?" he asks.
y/n thinks for a second, a playful smile finally breaking across her face. "i guess... next time though? i'm destroying your studio."
she smiled before turning around and walking toward bill and the car. michael chuckled nervously, his eyes widening. "you wouldn't..." he stopped himself, his voice pitching high with that classic, frantic worry. "right?" he said nervously, hurrying to follow right behind her.
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