âErase this pleaseâ - Percico secret santa fanfic
@duchessmb (MidnightBunnyy) , I am your Percico Secret Santa, bringing you fluffy & angsty flustered boys after Christmas has long passed but i still got my Christmas tree up so you canât kill my spirit!
I want to start by saying: Happy late Christmas and Happy New Year! I dearly hope this year brings you and the rest of us some better memories. That being said, i want to apologize for posting my gift on the very last day of the event but, hey! At least itâs in time! (unlike all of my school projects :â) ) I hope it doesnât seem too rushed. I wrote something, read it, hated it and decided to rewrite everything in the last three days. Also, i hope it doesnât contain many grammar mistakes. Iâll proof read it the morning but if you see it until then, just know that iâm not actually illiterate, just tired. Now that you know how much of a dumbass i am, letâs go on with the story! Hope you enjoy!
Nico stared down at his arm, eyes almost piercing trough the new-found initial that marked the skin from right near his elbow.
⌠a sturdy âPâ stood proudly, as if laughing at the sonâs of Hades suffering.
P could come from many things! It can come from⌠Patrick⌠Paul⌠PhineasâŚ
What kind of name is Phineas even, Nico?
The boy sighed deeply, his mind stubbornly struggling to remain attached to the same name it has been focused on since heâs seen his soulmarkâŚ
The most beautiful name on his list, the one heâs been dreading to say so badlyâŚ
But that name isnât supposed to come out of his mouth, to glide between his two lips⌠That name isnât supposed to even stroll so casually around his mind every single goddamn day.
Why? Because the thought of Percy Jackson was stuffed so deeply inside of Nico that it now felt like part of him; it was almost painful. Oh, the thought of him was very close and reachable alrightâŚ, but Percy Jackson himself was excruciatingly far away.
Nico would stare helplessly⌠His heart will scream and his mind would struggle to find a coherent thought, one that didnât scream âyouâre aloneâ or âyouâre patheticâ. And in spite of all that, he could imagine⌠was Percy in the arms of his future lover whose face didnât reasamble Nicoâs in any shape or form. Heâd imagine them sneaking out in the middle of the night to go and count the stars from the black abyss of the dark sky, the only light accompanying them being each otherâs love and company.
⌠Why couldnât Nico have that?
âŚWhy did Percyâs future⌠seemed like one he could never be part of?
Love was for lucky people. He guessed that he just wasnât the guy.
The dim sounds of flowing water from the well known Styx river the demigod was currently standing close to grew quieter as Nicoâs eardrums were filled with the obnoxious sounds of his own consuming thoughts. No. He must not pay attention to that mark. To him, the soulmark had to be no longer. It didnât exist to him.
And yet, for the next following weeks, the only place his eyes seemed to want and glance towards as he roamed around his fatherâs kingdom was that idiotic mark. Not even the hopeless whispers of the dead could distract him from it. Truth be told, he felt just as hopeless then.
âBoy.â Hadesâs cold voice dared to soften just a dime as he tried to catch his sonâs attention. Nico remained still by the Styx river in the not so far away distance, eyes lost and heart seemingly sinking alongside the dozens of sticks and rocks from the acid water. âBoy!â he bellowed once again, steps becoming bigger as he kept advancing towards the shore.
Nicoâs head turned suddenly, black eyes harmoniously meeting black eyes. The bond wasnât kept for long, the teenage boy immediately starting to glare back at the water. âWhat do you want, father?â his voice was distant and lost, as if it tried to show itself off as threatening and furious but gave up amid the way.
Hades cleared his throat. âI want to see your mark.â
Nicoâs eyes widened. The demigod tried to control his panic before opening his mouth again. âWhat mark?â
ââI donât have it.â
â'Well, i think you do!â
Hades rushed forward, grabbing his sonâs arms and bringing back the sleeves. Nico stood up and struggled as tried to escape his fatherâs firm grip with no succes.
âA 'Pâ⌠Ah, i seeâŚâ the god spat as if utterly unsatisfied with his own statement. His fingers unclenched from around the demigodâs wrists and the poor boy grunted as he stumbled back.
ââŚI told you, i donât have any soulmark.â his eyes looked up to meet his fatherâs for a second time. He was speaking through gritted teeth, voice stubborn and decisive. âItâs meaningless to me.â
âToo bad itâs not meaningless to me then. As much as i hate that it starts with⌠that boyâs name and i dearly hope itâs not him⌠you are still going to go find said person.â
Hades sighed and closed his eyes, trying to regain his patience. It didnât work much as his voice trembled with annoyance as the god began speaking once again. âDonât play with me. Donât disagree with me. If going to that⌠cursed camp is what it takes for you to be happy, then so be it.â He said the world 'campâ with a tone that revealed worse despise than when heâd talk about one of his brothers.
Nicoâs eyes widened in confusion. âHappinessâŚ? Going to campâŚ? What in Hades are you saying?â
âSoulmarks are made by Aphrodite and Hestia, you idiotic child. Yeah, sure, Aphrodite often goes on and on about the drama and chaos that must take place in a romantic relationship for it to be entertaining enough for her, but Hestia, on the other hand⌠she doesnât let explosions go off and burst when soulmarks are involved. She doesnât let the chaos lay a finger on that. As much as i hate my family sometimes⌠soulmarks are a good thing. You are not going to remain alone and pouting. Go to camp. Now.â
Nico followed his fatherâs words, but they simply wouldnt clench around his brain. Now is when his father showed care out of all times? Now? When Nicoâs heart kept yelling 'noâ with an unshaken vigor?
âNow!â Hades spoke again and his words were conclusive. With a simple hand gesture, Nico was sent to the one place he currently dreaded most.
A girlâs hand wrapped around Percyâs wrist and, to him, it felt almost like a betrayal. The mark was right there, staring back at him. It looked like it was gaping up and shaking its head, perhaps mumbling a 'you idiot, wrong soulmate, wrong hand to hold.â. He tried imagining the exact voice a hundred of times. It sounded more pissed off than his french teacher from fifth grade when heâd raise his hand during class to ask if he could go to the bathroom. 'But canât you say it in french, s'il te plait?â
Why couldnât Percy listen?
âLetâs catch lunch before itâs over!â Naomi from Aphroditeâs cabin said sweetly as if trying to lure him in. It felt wrong. Why did he keep following her?
âPercyâŚâ the daughter of the love goddess spoke clearly even as Percy tried to replay the memory in his head. Her voice was sweet and lucid, her vocabulary was rich and her intelligence was definitely blossomed and visible, especially when compared to the other children of Aphroditeâs. And yet⌠heâs never been attracted. âItâs an 'Nâ, right?â
Percy stared down at his arm as if he expected the mark to grow legs and run away any following second. â..yes.â
"So why not give it a try? When mine will appear, weâll know for sure if we are meant to be or not. Do you have any other guessesâŚ? Please, PercyâŚ?â her smile was bright, hopeful.
'But it doesnât feel right.â his heart said. Percy didnât say that.
Instead, he smiled back, drowning all of his other thoughts with a simple 'weâll see. weâll seeâŚâ
'Itâs been two months.â his mind kept repeating now.
'I know. But now weâll see soon.â
ââŚWe are basically in a relationship.â
'Did you even agree to that?â
âWhy did you even agree to that?â
What could you expect from a dude thatâs arguing with himselfâŚ
âPercyâŚ!â a hand tapped his shoulder and he finally woke up, in spite of the fact that his eyes have never been closed. âYouâve been weirdly staring at your shoe laces. If you were Grover, iâd be sure you were about to eat them up.â
ââŚSorry. Iâm fine.â
âThen all itâs fine. Letâs go eat.â
âYour name is Pollicem? Doesnât that mean, like, big toe in latin?â
âYou asked for my name, kid!â the angry satyr bellowed. âI ainât asked for no judgement!â
âRight, right, sorryâŚâ Nico cleared his throat, straightening his back before speaking again. âWhatâs your soulmarkâs initial? Is it an 'Nâ?â
âItâs a âDâ and i definitely havenât found the chosen one by going around and asking other people about their love life. It doesnât work like thatâŚ,â he sniffled the dark haired boy and crunched his nose up in disgust. ââŚ, offspring of Hades. Bleh, you always smell like dead grass and corpses.â
He was right. Nico was just stupid. Why would he even search for his chosen one, after all? Not even the Gods of Love could make him desirable. Love has brought anything but happiness to him up until now. Why would things change?
âSay kid, do you fancy anybody?â
âHuh?!â Nicoâs breath got caught up into his throat, the boy getting mildly startled.
âI see⌠So, in that case, that person is your soulmate.â
âYouâve got your soulmark today, offspring of Hades?â
âThe initial matched your loved oneâs name?â
âYou still love that person?â
Nico bit down on his lip, self-hatred and anger spilling from his gaze. âWhatâs this about?â he mumbled.
âIf you still love them, then the gods of love approve. Youâve found your other half. If that wasnât your case, the affection you held for them would start fading by now.â
âI donât believe that.â
âStop believing so much in the fact that any child of Hadesâs destiny is lonliness and isolation. Why do you think soulmarks even exist, kid? To form arguments, envy? No. They are supposed to bring peace. Each person with their designed lover. That way, love is clear and true, unbreakable.â
âIâve been assigned⌠a lover?â
Iâve been assigned⌠Percy Jackson... as a lover?
Nicoâs heartbeat started to freak. âHow am i supposed to believe that?â
âJust like that, demigod. Youâre currently talking to somebody with two hooves instead of feet and yet you canât believe in love?â
Nico looked back at the other half-bloods from camp, their silhouettes blurry and gray under the dim light of the afternoon. They were all laughing, raising their sleeves and proclaiming that 'look, thereâs somebody out there for me tooâ and yet Nico couldnât see himself fitting into the scenery.
âThat mark holds a lot of power within you.â the satyr spoke again. âI can feel it. Donât be afraid of closure, kid, donât be afraid of vulnerability.â and off he went into the dark forest, leaving Nico alone.
The way Percy stood alone at his table, peacefully eating his usual all blue food plate. The way his lips would slowly, leisurely turn upwards at unexpected times, perhaps thinking about something so weird and stupid that he felt like laughing at himself. So unnoticable⌠so pretty.
Nico watched in silence. Like always, truth be told⌠But this time, the moment itself seemed more intense, adrenaline and dread rushing up his veins as a familiar warmth settled in his stomach.
A girl makes her way to the Poseidon tabel.
Thatâs an intruder. An intruder into this portrait thatâs been meant to only focus on one single person, on Nicoâs favourite person.
Her fingers laced around his arm. He looked up. Eyes met. The girl smiled. Her eyes sparkled. She leaned in. She pecked his cheek.
Those from between which Percy has said so many stupid, dumb words that somehow Nico didnât find dumb at all. Those that would open and scream in triumph after heâd win yet another battle. Those that were always curving up, forming that beautiful smile.
Nico has always found looking at Percy painful. But nowâs the moment when the pain did no longer feel good at all.
His eyes filled with hatred. Itâs almost funny how the soulmark could turn as meaningless as before oh so easily. He turned around, but thatâs when heâs finally spotted.
âNico!â Grover yelled with excitement from near a tree, letting a chewed piece of plastic drop out of his mouth.
âNico?â another voice called him from behind. He turned around. He shouldnât have turned around.
Sea blue eyes were staring back at him. How did Percy even get here so fast?
âYouâve come to visit!â his eyes expressed joy. That felt like a punch in the stomach.
âLike you care.â he spat, voice annoyed and hateful.
The glint of joy was dipped in hurt. That felt like another punch in the stomach.
Percy looked him up and down, a sudden act that flustered and startled Nico, who covered it up with even more anger.
âWhat the hell do you want?â
âYouâve got musclar.â
Percyâs eyes were glued to Nicoâs biceps. âStop staring, weirdo! What the heckâŚ?! What do you want?!â
The taller demigod finally brought his gaze up, looking into the child of Hadesâs black orbs. They seemed more intense to him this time, mysterious, endering⌠Percy felt weird.
âWhatâs your soulmark?â
Nico seemed surprised. Percy was surprised, too. He didnât know why he asked. He felt pushed too, interested.
ââŚItâs none of your business.â the boy replied.
It felt like his business.
Nico perhaps felt suffocated by Percyâs fixed stare because he soon spoke again. âI didnât even get it yet.â
Black and green eyes were locked together still. There was a lot of tension. Dozens of words seemed to be hanging in the air. A sudden realization washed over Percy, but he remained silent. When he tried to open his mouth again, he realized that Nico has already left.
âYou what?â Percy almost staggered as he listened to Annabethâs words. They were on their morning walk. From what the demigod has heard, Nico came back and stayed at camp over night but Percy didnât get the chance to see his face a second time.
âYou gain feelings for your soulmate immediately after you get your mark, as well as loose feelings for anybody else you have previously fallen for.â Annabeth explained again. âAn organized system through which the gods make sure there are no third parties involved in soulmark work.â
ââŚnot the one.â she finished his thoughts. Heâs been saying that same goddamn sentence in his mind over and over again, but saying it out loud⌠it finally felt real, believable.
"You didnât tell me this before?!â
âIâm surprised you didnât know. But i did always think you dated Naomi out of kindness. âŚI still think that.â
âMaybe you were too scared that iâd finally come to the conclusion that Nemoâs my soulmate."â¨
Annabeth rolled her eyes, but her smile was playful. "A fish canât be your soulmate, seaweed brain.â
They sank in a comfortable silence for about a minute or two. Then the girl started speaking again.
âBut⌠suddenly finding somebody attractive that you didnât before, feeling the need to see somebody elseâs soulmark, the sudden feeling that youâre deeply connected to someone, emotionally and mentally, are all signs that said person is your soulmate.â
The odd interaction with Nico from yesterday was the first thing he thought off.
He stopped in his tracks, sweat covering his forehead and eyes opened wide.
âIâm sorry, Percy.â
The girl that stood in front of him - his ex, i suppose you could say - had tears straining her cheeks. Whether the cause of them was guilt of sadness, he didnât know. But they left soft, unnoticable traces down her skin, which were glowing vividly in the summer sun as if they tried showing off hope and relief rather than regret.
âMy mark appeared today⌠Itâs not a 'Pâ.â
âI know.â Percy said softly and the girl looked up in confusion. The male demigod was the one who smiled sweetly this time. âAnd youâve probably talked with somebody else today. And youâve probably felt reborned in a way, like youâve suddenly found a long lost part of you, a piece of puzzle that didnât fit you before but for some reason it now embraces you so perfectly.â
âI know the feeling. And itâs alright. Iâve found him too.â
Waking up in the morningâŚ
'What a botherâ Nicoâd say if you were to ask him.
Rolling right and left underneath the covers, the demigod realized that the blanket couldnât even provide him warmth. Heâs never felt colder.
The door creaked open. Nico got up with a snarl.
The words got caught up into his throat. A whimper softly slided from between his lips as Percy stepped closer.
âStay back!â Nico took the stygian sword from near his bed and brought it in front of him to keep the distance. The other demigod raised his arms in surrender and then Nico cursed himself for paying so close attention to his lips as the boy started talking.
âWhatâs your soulmark?â
âI told you i donât have it.â
ââŚliarâ Percy mumbled.
âWhat the fuck is your problem?! I told you i-â he yelped as Poseidonâs stupid son kneeled down and rushed forward, avoiding the sword as arms came around Nicoâs legs and brought him up on his shoulders. The sword fell down on the floor with a quiet thud and the smaller male started cursing and yelling in protest.
âDumbass! Wait, wait-â
Percy brough him down on the bed, caging the boy and struggling to bring one of his sleeveâs down. Nico shoved a fist into his left shoulder, throwing the boy off the bed. The son of Poseidon still had his hand clenched around one of the black-eyed maleâs wrist, therefore they ended up rolling toghether onto the dusty floor, fighting to be the one on top. They stopped spinning when they hit the wall and Nico still remained the one trapped under Percyâs dominating figure. The green haired male reached down and finally managed to work with the otherâs sleeve and see his bare, naked wrist.
A proud 'Pâ stood glinting under the pale bedroom lights.
ââŚwhy didnât you tell me?â
Nico didnât speak. He looked scared, he looked ashamed.
Percy released the boyâs wrist and showed off his own. The 'Nâ no longer felt wrong. It felt like itâs finally found its part, its continuation, its home.
There was some strange tension in the room, hidden from the human eye yet touchable and itchy. It felt as if the air was trying to suffocate them. The boysâ limbs felt numb and cold, searching for alleviation. The whole atmosphere around the boys was pushing them together, uniting their souls, their bodies⌠And not even a demigod could do anything but kneel down in front of such a mighty power.
The next few seconds were so intense and brimmed with emotions and sensations that it almost felt like a lucid dream: blurry and vague but real. Percy leaned down while Nico brought his chin up. The son of Poseidon allowed his arms to find their place around the otherâs hips, pressing their foreheads together while rubbing the tip of their noses in an ardent manner. Nicoâs breath was hot against his lips. Without being certain of who started the following act (perhaps it was both of them at the same time), their mouths clashed together, speaking the words and feelings which the two demigods havenât got the courage to say yet. Percyâs soft, moisturized lips were gently scratched by Nicoâs dry ones, moving in perfect sync. It felt as if theyâve completed that one abberant puzzle that theyâve been working at for decades, twisting the pieces and always wondering why things didnât fit, why things didnât feel right.
Well, finally⌠things felt right.
They eventually parted and Percyâs lips suddenly felt so empty and full of sorrow that he attempted to dive right back into the affectionate act. Nicoâs index finger stopped him on the way.
âYour shitty girlfriendâŚâ
âYou got more explaining to do than that.â
âI know- i know⌠I will⌠But for now, canât we just enjoy this?â
Who was Nico to complain?
While their lips reconnected, tingling with a newfound passion and desire, while their limbs began tangling toghether, focusing on nothing else except the otherâs warmth and soft skin, Nico could be heard mumbling one single thing against Percyâs parted lips:
âMy dadâs going to kill me.â
