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You’d normally spent your days outside of class just rotting away hours. At the come of summer, your parents forced you into a job. You needed the money anyways, but you would’ve preferred to go jerk off to some shitty magazine.
So, in your scrawny ass body, you found yourself helping with lawn work for the older couples in a nearby neighborhood. Mowing, weeding, planting, even some actual heavy lifting. Your jobs eventually moved to more, bigger things. Helping move furniture mostly.
Everyone knew everyone in Jersey, it’d be weird if you didn’t. So, being invited to a get together with to old family friend’s home wasn’t odd. Even if you hadn’t seen them in forever.
They’d had a couple of boys, all were a bit older than you’d been.
You stood, looking at yourself in the mirror, not admiring, just staring. A wet mop of hair sat atop your head, but you were more focused on your body. It’d been about two months since you’d been forced into hot, dry labor. You looked decent.
Hell, you had the audacity to flex your arm and be impressed.
But it didn’t last long, you were called down by your mother soon after. You mumbled a strand of curses as you scrambled for a shirt, settling on some band teeshirt.
Your parents always said that the jeans you wore always made you look homeless. It was fashion, they’d never get it. You totally did look homeless, but that was the point.
——
Your entire body was restless when you were stuck at that stupid gathering. Your parents had insisted everyone only take one car, so you couldn’t even ditch it early. Normally you’d be able to at least make small talk with one of Toro boys, usually Ray. But he was busy with your parents asking him all about that band he was in.
He looked much better than you ever had then. The sleeves of his shirt were tight around his biceps, so was the chest area. It made your small accomplishment feel tiny.
He was exactly the kind of guy you’d seen online and gotten off to. Imagining having someone like that at your mercy, it was an intoxicating thought. But one that needed to stay swallowed down.
So, you’d snuck off to some bathroom to go rot on your phone, text people.
Eventually that got boring, but socializing sounded even worse. There was a photo of a curly haired boy on the wall, one of their sons, Ray. Your eyes fell on the items in the shower you’d been sitting near. Definitely belonged to a boy. Shaving cream, razor, body oil..?
Being the curious dude you were, you moved to open the drawers of the counter. Normal shit, random extra toiletries, a pen, whatever.
You knelt down to look in the cabinets. It felt wrong to be searching someone else’s home, but it was something to do. All that was in there anyways were some random, scattered boxes.
Though, curiosity killed the cat.
You grabbed a box, it was a black, cardboard box. The thing had a solid amount of weight to it. You sat back onto your heels, opening the box.
Only to be met with yourself.
Polaroids, printed disposable camera shots, shitty drawings, your interests written down on papers. Your stomach dropped quickly, but you couldn’t look away. There were logs on just how your body had changed over the last two months. Lists of written out fantasies.
Heat rushed to all different parts of your body.
A knock came. Of course it had to be right fucking then.
“Y/N? Your parents were looking for you. You okay.”
You knew that voice, it belonged to the person who used that bathroom the most. The person who you were about 99% sure had been stalking you.
“Yeah, man— i’m good.”
Shit. Your voice sounded like a little kid, one that had gotten in trouble. A heartbeat pounded in your ears, a mile a minute. You couldn’t pry yourself away from it, your hands just still rummaged through the box.
A slew of mumbled words was all you could muster as you stared.
Ray’s voice called out again, “Are you alright in there? What’s up?”
There was something behind just the basic concern in his voice. As if he knew. A small thought began to swell in the back of your brain, causing that warmth to spread lower in your body.
A small, rational part of your brain attempted to fight it, to push it away. But the porno rotted half of it wanted a different answer more.
You stood up, placing the box on the counter.
“Ray, can you come in here? I just— need help with something.”
“Sure.”
You leaned over slightly to unlock the bathroom door, closing the flaps of the box once more. He was a bit taller than you’d remembered. Probably a had a good 2-3 inches on you.
Ray’s eyes widened as he saw the box on the counter…and you standing next to it.
The same man who’d stood tall and spoke to your parents ten minutes prior about performing in front of thousands, looked terrified. His face burned a hot, red color.
“How’s your…evening been?” You asked, opening the box back up, grabbing a couple of the larger, printed photos of yourself.
“Shit, Y/N— I didn’t mean—“
“Shut up. Answer the question.”
The boy was quiet, his brain obviously working through the entire situation. His eyes intently watching you grab a handful of photos.
“Fine.” Ray’s voice was shaky.
As cool as you tried to act, your heart was thumping heavy in your chest. You knew your hands were trembling as you tossed the pictures onto the ground, Ray’s line of sight followed them.
Ray, almost instinctively, knelt down to grab them. As he was distracted, you grabbed the list of ‘ideas’ he’d been writing down.
“Choking and scratching? What are you, a werewolf?” You questioned him.
“I’m really sorry.”
“For what? The stalking or the kinks?”
A small, forced laugh came from the back of your throat.
Ray stared up at you, “Man— please don’t tell anyone about this. I’ll do anything.”
“Oh i’m sure you’d do anything for me with how much you’ve seemed to enjoy watching me.”
You were enjoying it more than you should’ve. Your feet moved a step closer before you knelt down to his level, making eye contact. You still had the paper out in your hand, you brought it up to read from it again.
“This is like a diary, you’re pathetic, man.”
The eyes on you were heavy, nervous. You could feel how Ray was staring right through you. It was almost entertaining feeling Ray watch you.
Your throat was so dry, your face a hot red as you read his descriptions. He really had a way with words.
“You want me to…what?”
Ray was begging at that point, “Please. Please just stop reading— shit—“
“Shut the fuck up.”
The parents were probably wondering what was going on, but hopefully weren’t too worried. Though, your two families had been friends for years, so maybe you guys had just gotten distracted.
“You’re as awful as I am, holy shit.”
You let out a soft, breathless laugh in disbelief. Even though, sure, you’d been more active and more socialized and cleaner than normal, you were still disgusting mentally.
An addict, day in and day out. Constant. Boys and girls, didn’t matter, if they were attractive in any manner, you’d find a way to get off to it.
“We’re going to go downstairs and go eat dinner, okay? Up up.”
You stood up, not offering Ray a hand or anything, just staring at him as he scrambled to his feet. You took the photos from his hand, putting them in the box, along with his little list.
Ushering him out, you followed him, calming yourself down. You’d had to do similar actions before if something happened if you were ‘busy’. It was easy.
But Ray? He was obviously struggling with a lot of thoughts. Very conflicting thoughts. Didn’t help that you’d decided to sit right beside him, to his left.
You had one hand on your fork, casually eating and talking, sitting very close to the taller boy next to you. He was uncharacteristically silent as he pushed his food around his plate.
Until your free hand crept over and onto his thigh, feeling how it pushed against those jeans he wore. There was one of those shitty plastic tablecloths covering the table. You felt his body tense underneath your touch, his eyes glancing at you. You didn’t look back.
Maybe it was a little creepy that Ray had so casually spoken to your parents after stalking their son for two months. Your hand moved to his inner thigh, squeezing it slightly.
Then again, you were making conversation about college to his parents whilst basically groping him under the table.
His whole body was stiff, the utensils in his hand were being held in a white knuckled grip. Everyone was too focused on each other to really care to notice. Ray attempted to continue eating, trying to ignore the feeling of your hand creeping closer to the tent in his jeans.
Ray leaned towards you slightly once his parents got caught up in something else with yours.
“Y/N—“
“Hush, you don’t want them to know, do you?”
Your words were more just about seeing what you could get away with. Cause Ray could’ve absolutely just gotten up and yelled that you were feeling him up.
He didn’t. The pervert fucking loved that shit. He’d written it down, the whole voyeurism thing.
At some point, you’d moved to full on palming him, feeling his hips squirm under your touch. He’d put down his utensils a minute or two prior, instead moving to grip his own knees.
“Ray, honey, are you alright?”
The sound of a middle aged woman’s voice came from the other side of the table. You were relaxed, minding your own business, one hand finishing up whatever you had been eating, the other working against Ray’s body.
“Yeah, mom— i’m alright. Just— just not feeling too great.” Ray managed to force out without sounding too terrible.
His mother gave a concerned smile, “Oh, well why don’t you go up to your room? Take Y/N with you, he can keep you company.”
You knew she’d said that in innocence. As a ‘go hang out with that one kid no one wants to hang out with so he doesn’t feel bad’ kind of thing.
“Mom— I’m 26.” Ray protested, his grip on his knees getting tighter as he tried to keep a straight face.
“Y/N, darling, go take Ray up to his room would you? You can come back down after if you’d like. I’ll take care of the plates.” She was a wonderful woman.
Your heart jumped at the thought, that disgusting, nasty thought. You pressed the heel of your palm harder down against him, a sweet smile on your face. The boy next to you was obviously forcing his hips to stay down.
“Of course, ma’am.”
Ray stood up, causing you to pull your hand away. He was immediately turned away from his family, face a burning red color. Shame was written across his face, the guy hated how much he didn’t hate it.
You nodded at both your, and his family’s, getting up from your chair and trailing behind Ray down the hallway. Your stomach turned and twisted in a feverish manner. Though, you made a quick stop, reaching into the bathroom and grabbing the box you’d placed on the counter.
Ray’s room wasn’t far, so it only took a few quick steps to enter his space and shut the door. It was closer to a guest room at the time than anything since he was only home for the time the band wasn’t touring or producing.
“Why the fuck would you do that!”
Ray managed to force out in a yelled whisper. Drywall wasn’t the thickest material on the planet.
You didn’t feel bad, it was addicting to have had him squirming under your hand like that. That’s all you wanted.
The room was small, a suitcase in the corner, clothes strewn in a laundry basket nearby. Ray was standing in front of his bed, his silhouette stood tall. You set the box down onto the dresser across from the bed, picking up that same, crumpled sheet.
“This is some 4chan shit, god, you whore.”
You muttered, laughing in disbelief. You moved to be in front of the dresser, leaning back against it. Ray had probably noticed how much your hand shook or how your knees wobbled.
Your brain racked this detailed, drawn out list of things he would’ve let you do to him. It boosted your ego and confidence in that room through the roof. You struck gold somewhere around halfway down the backside of the paper.
Ray just stood watching you like a terrified prey animal, eyes darting as a breath caught in your throat.
“You’re so gross. Drop down to your knees.”
You tested the waters, seeing if he’d listen.
He did. Like a fucking trained dog being told ‘sit’, he slowly knelt down. With his knees on the ground, as well as how he was sat back on his heels, you could really see how fucked up he was.
It felt like a porno, some shit you’d seen in some movie your parents didn’t know you’d rented somewhere. Your feet moved before your brain had processed. You stood over Ray, hesitantly putting a hand on his head.
“How long? I doubt it was just the two months.”
Ray swallowed thickly at your question, looking up at you.
“Since you were 18, every summer after you graduated. I’m so sorry.”
His answer made your eyes widen, sweet Ray Toro admitting to stalking you? What a beautiful joke. You moved the hand from the top of his head to under his chin as he sat up higher on his knees.
Then you slapped him across the face, hard as you could, he fell back on his heels, his head hitting the footboard of the bed. Tears pricked his eyes as he winced and touched the hot skin on his face. Ray stared up at you, a mixture of looks in his eyes.
“You’re lucky I didn’t tell your parents about this, about you. God— I could fucking ruin your reputation.”
“I know, I already said i’m sorry.”
Ray’s voice shook slightly, the place you’d hit him was starting to turn a hot red color. He readjusted how he was sat, knees propped up and feet on the ground. His knees were knocked together.
You poked your tongue around the inside of your cheek, stepping closer and using your foot to nudge his knees apart. Ray could’ve resisted, he could’ve easily overpowered you, kicked you to the ground and yelled for his parents.
Then again, he didn’t even fucking try. The man let you push his legs open. All of the fabric between his legs was tight, tenting harshly. Ray was obviously humiliated by the whole situation, he couldn’t even look at you.
Not until you pressed the middle of your foot into his groin meanly. You felt his body tense up, his legs instinctively trying to shut. God, it was such a rush feeling that much power over someone.
You dug the sole of your Vans further into him, “Why? Why did it start? Don’t lie to me, you pervert.”
Ray whined, his hands balling up in fists at his sides, his eyes were on your leg, then your shaking hands, then finally fell onto your eyes as you asked.
“When I saw you— fuck— saw you with that one girl. Y’two went to a— a movie.”
Shit, you hadn’t remembered that.
“Is that right?”
Your eyes widened slightly, eyebrows raising. You watched Ray stumble for words again.
“Mmm hmm— ‘wanted you for myself.”
That admission sent a rush of adrenaline through your body, your heart rate picking up and rushing through your ears. Someone wanted you that bad.
You hadn’t ever really thought of Ray in such a vile way until then, feeling the tension between you two. All of those pictures he had taken from odd angles, ones you hadn’t even thought about checking in those moments.
You moved your foot slightly, grinding the toe of your shoe against Ray’s body, causing his hips to slightly rut up against the opposing force.
There was a nice, pink handprint across his cheek, a couple tears had begun to fall down his cheeks. But it wasn’t just pain he was feeling, he felt so many different things. A few stray curls were stuck to his forehead and cheeks. You almost felt bad…then remembered he had stalked you for years.
Any guilt you may have had melted away at the sight of Ray writhing like that.
“Shut it. You don’t want your parents hearing about your little activities, no?”
You asked Ray, pulling your foot away. He sighed slightly, as if he’d been holding his breath the entire time. The exact area where you’d been applying pressure was damp, even through his black pants, you could see exactly where he’d been leaking.
“Answer the fucking question, Ray.”
“No— I don’t want them to hear.”
“That’s what I thought, sit back up on your knees, jackass.”
It wasn’t even testing boundaries anymore at that point, you were just taking everything you could’ve possibly have gotten. As he sat back up, you moved a hand to the top of his head.
You hadn’t even asked Ray to do anything, you were going to, but he moved first, moving his mouth to mouth and paw and the slightly noticeable bulge in your jeans. It was less of protruding issue due to all of the extra fabric.
A quiet whine pulled itself from the back of your throat, you pushed some of Ray’s hair back to see his eyes look up at you. He had moved his legs to sit into more of a straddling position.
Holy shit, it was so hot, watching his mouth move around the loose denim, dampening it. You readjusted your foot underneath Ray, causing him to let out a groan, one that vibrated against the fabric of your pants.
You pushed his head away slightly as your free hand undid the belt around your waist. It was some studded one you’d stolen from a mall. You didn’t bother to pull it from the belt loops of the pants before fumbling with the button and fly.
All of your words had been taken, you couldn’t say any cocky insults or anything. Ray was so fucking hot down there, just patiently sitting between your legs. He was all broad shouldered and big armed, but it was like that meant nothing.
You dropped the jeans down to your ankles, letting your hands rest at your sides. The front of your boxers were damp, partially from yourself, and a small bit from Ray’s mouthing.
You nodded down at Ray, his hands moved to grab at the elastic. Your legs were just nothing but some lean muscle and bone, hair covering the whole of them.
You probably still smelled of the soap you’d used earlier, some shitty 3 in 1 you’d found at Walmart. Neither of you cared. Ray tugged down the boxers off your hips, letting them pool around your ankles, inside of your jeans.
Since you’d already felt Ray up earlier, being that exposed was a little embarrassing almost. He was most definitely bigger. But that didn’t mean he didn’t stare up at you with any less devotion in those brown eyes.
Ray moved to take you in his mouth, your foot still in a place he could grind against it. His lips wrapped along your dick, your hand in his hair tightened as he fell into a rhythm.
Something in you felt like you needed to be mean, then again, Ray seemed to like that shit. You forced his head further, causing him to gag and sputter around you. His hands on your thighs tightened and tears filled his eyes once more.
“Fuckin’ shit— man.” You managed to force out, helping direct his head on you.
Your hand in Ray’s curls was tight, pulling and tugging on his hair, he was so so fucking good. He’d probably practiced or some shit. It was much more enjoyable than some magazine and your fist.
The feeling of him also grinding against your shoe shot your ego through the roof. You tilted Ray’s head up slightly to look at him, to stare at his beauty like that.
A coiling heat began to bubble up in your lower stomach, a familiar one.
“You’re gonna— gonna fuckin’ swallow that shit, yeah?” You breathed out, the sound nothing more than a mumble.
Ray just whimpered around you, his hips continuing to push against your shoe. He was more frantic, so desperate for release.
Though, yours came first. You tightened your fist in Ray’s hair, forcing his nose to hit your pelvis as you emptied out everything into his throat. He choked and gagged before finally swallowing everything down.
You pulled out of his mouth, a bit of your release lingering on his lips. He was still grinding against your shoe, begging his body to go.
You didn’t help him, you stood there and watched him rut against you till he came all over his pants…and your shoe. Ray’s mouth was against your leg, using your skin to muffle his noises.
“Thanks for cumming all of over my shoe, really appreciate that.”
“Shut up, Y/N.”
Your voice was sarcastic as you readjusted your stance, pulling your boxers and jeans back on. They were still damp, but god knows your parents weren’t leaving any time soon.
Ray was not the happiest camper, he was humiliated, embarrassed. He liked the embarrassment, but then he had to deal with his laundry. It wasn’t exactly the easiest scent to get out.
“Just stand up, I want to kiss you.”
You’d realized at some point when he was sucking you off that you hadn’t even attempted a kiss or anything, you’d just had him suck on your dick.
The guy did as you had asked, coming to his feet shakily. It reminded you that he was actually a good bit bigger than you. Taller, stockier. Your hands found either side of his face, feeling the slight stubble on it, before pulling him slightly down to come kiss you.
You could taste yourself on his lips, that was kind of hot.
Ray flipped the script and gently moved you to lean back against the footboard. His tongue found its way into your mouth and vice versa. You had a hand on his throat, squeezing it. You’d slotted your knee between Ray’s legs when you heard a voice yell your name from down the hallway, causing you to forcefully pull away from each other.
Your mother’s voice called, “Y/N! Remember we’re leaving early for that thing for your cousin tomorrow! We’re headed out!”
You sighed before leaning into Ray’s neck for a minute, and biting down hard into it. Not enough to break skin, but more than enough to bruise. He groaned, letting you do so.
You pushed him off of you, moving towards his door. You didn’t leave before grabbing his polaroid that he’d kept in the box, taking an off guard picture of him, shoving it into your pocket.
No Gerard I completely understand, if I had an opportunity to put Ray Toro in tight pants and the sexiest jean jacket ever designed I’d probably revive danger days too.
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