perenelle

[perenelle]

i am not really a beach person but i love beaches (and pools) at night and am craving it in this moment

last time i was on a beach at night was when i went up north a year and a half ago, behind the house we were renting. it's so dark there at night you couldn't see 100 feet in front of you, we had to follow the sound of each other's voices. there was bioluminescence in the water and it sparkled when you kicked it around or threw rocks. and then the northern lights came out. definitely one of the best moments of my life

i feel like doing an east coast trip. i only went once, twenty years ago, and i could use a dose of wholesome canada. it's so beautiful along the st laurent, i wish i could drive there, go to gaspésie. i could go visit my mom's cousin and her girlfriend in halifax. go to the beach at night

[eloquentedition]

Calla Lily, 1988, a photograph by Robert Mapplethorpe.

[perenelle]

[runnnintome]

[irenelichtensteinblog]

Ernst Haas, New York City, 1957

[dreamstars]

[kvtevictoria]

the last of May

patreon

[jeffbuckleyforever]

[unteriors]

Livingston Manor, New York.

[perenelle]

some nights the moonlight just poooouuuuurs into my bedroom

[tresbongout]

[grabsomeironmeat]

Osamu Saruyama

[perenelle]

spring molt

stripped down to what i can't shed, a neutral clarity about what i know and feel and need, for better or for worse

and that one feeling i still can't quite put in words, but maybe don't need to because it exists safely outside of everything, beyond time and words and all the bullshit

the irony, that this has blown all the walls apart, that i've never been more fearless and secure and open, the way he always needed me to be / that i can and want to externalize more than ever but now it doesn't matter / that he taught me to be more optimistic and receptive of love

to have to just let it all die inside me, with nowhere to go, watch the fire burn itself out..........

powerlessness is both a curse and an anchor

i understand now that being at peace with something impossible doesn't have to mean healing or letting go or not feeling anything anymore. that it's separating yourself from it, but consciously, while recognizing and coexisting with all of it

face yourself!!!

[perenelle]

heaven

[jeztls]

Olivia Bee  Moonrise, 2015

[perenelle]

sagres

i could never wrap my head around the idea of sailing off into the unknown, into certain death

but standing on the edge of the world, all that does not matter melts away into the horizon until there's nothing left but

the wind on my face the weight of the endless sky the pull of a full heart and us

to be alive is to have my toes curled on the edge of that cliff, to have the sky open up for me anywhere

i know now that i'm following the same light they did. i wish that you had too

[mieleterno]