𝑳𝒆𝒕'𝒔 𝑮𝒐 𝒕𝒐 𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒌.

indie private & selective angel / angelus.

[perfectanguish]

#PERFECTANGUISH — independent, selective, and private ANGEL & ANGELUS from buffy the vampire slayer and it’s spinoff angel with personal head-canons. established 22, january 2018; ensouled by char ( she/her, 29, pst ) please read rules before following. WARNING: triggering and mature material will be present; DNI if not 21+.

— affiliates/mains: @drkroots & @normallyxstranger & @wickedlehane & @maliignant & @perfectdespair & more!!

— quick links: prompts | wish-list | thread tracker | carrd (tba)

welcome!! as stated above, this blog is for angel & angelus, master of brooding. also stated above, this blog is mutual's only because as much as i'd love to write with everyone, i do not have the brain power for that. so please keep that in mind when interacting with posts for when you're visiting.

quick run down; basic rp etiquette applies and is expected to be followed in the year of our demise 2025: don't be a dick, cut your posts, be 21+, don't pester me for replies to threads and or messages, and don't force anything we'll be gucci. there will be triggering topics mentioned and will not be tagged such as blood, violence, death, murder, sex, etc. unless you specifically need something tagged, please message me and i will tag it!

drama; i'm old as dust and i'm not about to entertain any sort of it. been here too damn long to put up with any of it. so just behave like the adults that you are and don't treat this place like high school because i will block you and move on with my day.

minors & personals; any persons under twenty-one will be hard blocked. mun is nearly thirty years of age and feels more comfortable writing with those that are twenty-one & up. personals, though your appreciation is kind, please refrain from following and or interacting with anything on this blog, you will be blocked on sight.

[perfectanguish]

@normallyxstranger ( mimic ) called signed: ❝ is good ? ❞

If it were not for Faith, he wouldn't have been able to have a conversation with the other. At least not in private, which was preferred as Mimic was still adjusting to things and he didn't want to overwhelm her. So when fingers began to move, his eyes fell to them and smiled at their question. "Yes. It's good," he signed back before reaching for the glass of blood. Normally he didn't like to eat in front of others ( a weird habit he was still working on ) but he felt comfortable with Mimic.

"Very good. Warm and rich," he added once glass was returned to his desk. Sign language was still something he was working on, Faith only having showed him the basics while she popped in for a quick visit. But he wasn't terrible at it. "Are you...hungry?" Angel asked the other, stuttering for a moment as he second guessed the sign for hungry.

[perfectanguish]

@normallyxstranger ( nancy ) called: ❛ i hope you regret giving up on me. ❜

There were a lot of things he regretted doing. There were also things he regretted not doing. Nancy fell somewhere in between, like Drusilla had, but he keeps this to himself as he looks to her. She yet another person whose life he had ruined even if it hadn't been this version of himself. But he and Angelus were two faces of the same coin, something he had taken a while to accept and acknowledge.

"I do," he replied evenly, head bowing slightly as he looked towards the blonde. "I regret taking your life. Making you what you are today..." He turned her and left her to fend for herself. Being turned and taught nothing? It was probably one of the cruelest things their kind could do to someone they turned. The whole process was disorienting and left many questions milling around within ones mind. So to have none of those answered, to not be shown what to do, how to cope? He'd left her to die.

Yet here she stood on her own two feet and despite the disgust he felt towards himself, he was proud of her. Though he knew Nancy wouldn't care to hear that or whether he was or not. "I'm sorry. For everything, Nancy..."

[normallyxstranger]

He was so fucking insufferable! Nancy could practically smell his brooding. God, he was so sorry.

Nancy said nothing for a time, her arms still tightly crossed, one leg bouncing with nervous energy. She'd fixed her eyes to a point on the wall before she said her piece, and there they stayed. If she risked even looking at him, she would break.

And she absolutely refused to be weak in front of him.

Her eyes burned and Nancy blinked a few times. She clenched and unclenched her jaw. She stopped jostling her leg. It took longer than she liked to gather her courage, but she had it now.

Nancy flicked her eyes to his face, meeting his, and held his stare. Her hand gripped the chair arm, nails digging into wood.

"I guess sorry makes it all better now." A cruel smile twisted her lips. "Fuck you."

[perfectanguish]

Deep down he knew his apology meant nothing. That, however, did nothing to stop him from voicing it at the very least. It was several years late, but he was trying. He had ran from the things he had done prior to his soul and when he lost it a couple years back. In doing so, running, he wasn't atoning for all of the wrong he had done in his many years of walking in this dimension.

Drusilla, Penn, the others, it was too late. There was nothing he could do undo or even begin to fix things. But Nancy? There was still a chance, but only if she wanted to give him one. He could smell her hatred, could feel it as well, but he stood his ground and took every bit of it. Had to because he deserved it.

"That's...Nancy, that's not why I said it," he sighed, unneeded breath leaving parted lips. His head hung slightly and eyes closed for a brief few seconds before they opened and he looked up at her once more. "I know nothing I say or even do is going to fix what I've done and put you through. But..." he trailed off, hand rising and running over his face, "I still owe it to you to try. To at least...try to help now."

[perfectanguish]

It was never surprising to continue to find out things about Wolfram and Hart. Especially when those things were creatures stored away until a rainy day. Though with the higher up's revealing this knowledge to him, it seemed their monster was no longer that. A man now or again, rather. One that had been found on a mountain near a cave with a half eaten corpse. Generally he wouldn't have cared to help the supposed monster responsible, but there was something different about this Mitchell Apcott that warranted help.

In hindsight, he could have approached the other man under better circumstances. So when back met the cold hard surface of the wall, Angel grunted as he peered down at the other. He could smell the fear, could see it in how his hands trembled and the unsureness. He remembered that feeling, the one you felt when you've been spit out of hell, returned to earth. Angel didn't fault him, no, he wanted to help him so he didn't fight back or make any attempts at freeing himself even if it would've been easy.

"Easy..." he repeats, keeping his tone even and calm, hands raising to show they were empty. "Just trying to help is all. You're not an easy guy to find...especially when you're not in your usual form," he murmured.

[heartpunished]

               The rigid animalistic tilt of head, teeth remaining bared to make sure his point wasn't forgotten. Who was this stranger? From what Mitchell knew about this world, this man didn't look like the type to help people like him. But then again, how exactly does one help a man who was a monster and is now a man again but wants to go back to being the winged monster who brought doom to everyone and everything stupid enough to cross his path?

While still intimately close, there was another growl and he moved a little closer in attempt to pick up some sort of scent, but this human nose gave him nothing and he let out a lower growl in frustration, him finally making the decision to let the other go.

"And how do you intend on helping me?" That question was asked when back was turned, Mitchel attempting to find traces of where the small stray animal he was hunting had gone. The next words that left lips were in a tongue that couldn't be interpreted by ears of the surface world. "Plan on hunting the cat that you lost me down?" He wasn't ready to give the other's words much weight in his mind, but the mention of his true form did pique interest.

[perfectanguish]

There was nothing monstrous left within him. Nothing animalistic, aside from the mannerisms that were shown, was hinted at. Deep down, there was something sad about the whole ordeal. To know this man had gone from being, what he could only begin to imagine, a beast that every other so called beast feared to this? The vampire understood his frustration, albeit a touch envious of him being allowed to be human once more. Though he had had his chance at that already, hadn't he and he had gave it up because it was the right thing to do.

Ignoring his own personal drama, Angel remained relaxed under the others hold. One that he could easily break, but there was no reason to do so. Once upon a time, Mitch would and could have easily tore him to shreds, littered the ground with bits and pieces of his body. Not no more. So he allowed the man to have a semblance of control, hands remaining up to show he meant no threat. "Vampire," he said softly as he noted the way Mitch sniffed, no doubt trying to figure out what he was.

"Well, if you let me, we're gonna go somewhere and talk. And from there, we'll figure it out," he explained, hands slowly lowering to his sides once he was released. Brows came to furrow as he listened to the others latter comment, but he couldn't understand him. "Look...you come with me, I'll get you something to eat, alright? We'll have a chat and sort some stuff out that's needed."

[perfectanguish]

Lips twitch up into a smirk at the sound. It was one of the few sounds he did enjoy hearing from the other man. His eyes soon come to fall, locking with Roman's as he looks up at him. And oh how he felt like he was being looked at for salvation, as if he were a savior of some sort to him. He can see the wheels turning, trying to figure out if he meant it and would follow through. Which he would, easily, because he'd get the job done faster than Victor or any of the others could.

Pulled closer, brow arches as smirk grows. The hand still tangled in locks curl and tug again. Thoughts begin to wander with how close face is to...And he's standing, maybe later. "I would and will. Don't you worry that pretty little head of yours." Angelus hummed as hand fell from his hair, palm coming to press and rub at the others chest before fingers come to creep up along throat. "You just be standing by waiting for me..." he smirked.

The name was familiar, a face somewhere in his mind coming into sight. He'd set out for him in a little while, take him and anyone else around him out with ease. Because even though he didn't particularly care if Roman lost his goddamn mind to paranoia, he wanted to be the one to drive him insane. And it just didn't seem fair for a complete random wannabe thug to be doing it.

[blckfckinmsk-archive]

· 𓂃 ࣪˖🔪 ˖ ࣪𓂂 . Roman knew what Angelus was capable of, it's why he needed someone like him for this. So he could be assured the job would be completed properly. Zsasz was usually reliable, but when it came to those with some actual pull out on these streets you could never be too sure. And Roman didn't really want to waste too many resources on this either. So this was the perfect solution.

And he grins when Angelus assures him he would take care of it for him. Eyes fall as hand moved over his chest and bottom lip is bitten back as it creeps up his neck. "Mm, I will." Purred back as his own hands move over the other's chest. "In something sexy." Spoken with a wink in promise. But it's not even in a form of payback, but because he wanted to.

"Can you bring me back his head?" So he knows it was actually done and maybe Roman would take the face off if he felt inclined to do so.

[perfectanguish]

Being a monster was his job title. Though it wasn't a job often practiced much these days; a winged crusader lurking about the shadows and all. He had also been more focused on Roman, bending and warping him in ways that would benefit the vampire in the long run. But this was the perfect opportunity to be himself and do what he did best as well as keeping the other under his thumb. And under his body when he came back.

Fingers caress against throat while he contemplates wrapping them around such a delicate neck. He refrains, allows his fingers to linger for another moment before hand shifts so that thumb and forefinger gripped his chin. "Good boy," he purred, a soft growl rumbling in his chest as he fought the urge ( he was always fighting one or more urges with Roman ) to shove him to his knees. But later, he reminded himself.

"Of course." It would be easy, messy, but easy. Still gripping his chin, Angelus held him in place as he leaned down, closing space, before pressing a searing kiss to lips. "I'll be back..." he murmured against lips before pulling away entirely. Back was soon turned to Roman as he headed for the door. He had an appointment to make.

[perfectanguish]

@normallyxstranger ( andy ) gets a semi plotted thing.

New Ashton had been on his radar for some time now. Wolfram and Hart had had files on the town and those that called it home, yet he hadn't used the information. Not until now. The law firm was nothing but rubble now and the champion needed to find a new path. One that didn't lead him back to old habits or lovers. So he headed in search of this town and hoped that just like the witches and demons that called it home, he could break him off a slice of that life. He also thought maybe they could use his help, if problems ever did arise.

Arriving shrouded in the dead of night, Angel looked for a hotel and was thankful the small town had one. Sleeping in the car wasn't ideal nor a sure promise of not waking up on fire. Once he booked a room, he unpacked and showered before heating up a mug of blood; he made a mental note to see about arranging something with the local hospital. Part of him wanted to rest, to take the night to simply sit and think things out more clearly. But he also wanted to get a lay of the town.

There wasn't much debating with himself as he pulled his coat on and made his way out of his room. It wasn't too late in the evening—in vampire terms, it was about eight in the morning, day was just starting for him—so there were still people out and about. Stores were still open which worked in his favor. He popped into a couple of them before he managed to find his way to an apothecary, a place that could be very useful to him in the future.

Walking inside, Angel stuffed his hands into the pockets of the old weathered coat. His eyes scanned the shelves and he could feel the magic radiating off every surface. Whoever owned the store wasn't pretending or putting on an air to scam tourists; they were legit. He walked around until he came to a stop near the crystals, eyes peering over them as he allowed mind to wander off in thoughts. Then he heard a voice and looked to the source of it.

"Oh...hi um...no. Maybe. I don't know," he chuckled at the redheaded woman's question of whether or not he needed help. "New in town. Just looking around for right now."

[normallyxstranger]

No one really liked to work the closing shift at Embers & Ashes so, once again, Andy stepped up. She usually didn't mind, especially when she could close up early and grab a drink before heading home. The shop was usually slow past nightfall, anyway.

Except tonight. Someone had come in just when she'd made up her mind. Fine. She'd help him real fast and then--

Oh. Hello, gorgeous.

She read him quickly, just a second's glance with her second-sight to check out his aura, and found it... weird. Fragmented. Like the soul had been shifted or something. She didn't risk another look at it--absolutely none of her business--and instead flashed him a winning smile and asked if he needed help.

He didn't. Or he did? Andy's smile softened. "Sure. I'll be at the counter if you change your mind." Only, she didn't head to the counter. She didn't head anywhere. Her eyes stared out, unfocused, trance-like.

Night. An almost empty street. People running--no, not people. Demons. Someone yelling, then screaming. Blood on the sidewalk. Someone--she couldn't see their face--someone hurt. Urgent.

As she came out of it, Andy grabbed for the nearest surface, to steady herself. It just so happened to be the handsome man's arm.

"Shit. I need to sit down for like, five seconds."

[perfectanguish]

He had felt eyes on him before she appeared. It wasn't uncommon for him to be stared at, but he also figured she was trying to size him up, see if he was going to buy anything. But the closer she got to him, he could feel the power coming off of her. Ah, that's the source, he thought as he returned the smile. She didn't look much older than twenty-five, but he knew better than to judge someone by their appearance. Or to doubt someone's power and how age didn't have to play a role in it; Willow had been young and easily became a strong wicca.

His thoughts came to a halt when he noticed the look in the woman's eyes. Doyle and Cordy used to get that very look. With past knowledge, Angel's hands shot out to grab hold of her arms to offer stable support. He knew visions could be painful, disorienting, and injuries were almost always expected since they had a nasty habit of appearing at random. "Easy now..." he whispered, keeping his grip gentle yet firm.

"Yea, I think that'd be good..." he murmured in agreement. Shifting so that arm came to wrap around her waist, he practically carried her towards a chair. He could have hidden what he was, showed some kind of struggle of lifting her from the ground—barely, her feet could still touch—but there was no point to it. Once he brought her to the chair, he stepped back as eyes looked over her before settling on her face.

"—They usually knock you off your feet?" he asked after a moment, letting her get her bearings straight. "Friends of mine, they used to explain it like someone banging on their skull. Like it was a door...sometimes it would feel like being hit by a car," he added, faint smile appearing as he thought of his friends who were no longer here. "Wanna tell me what you saw?"

[perfectanguish]

reminder that angelus is a piece of shit ( i love him ur honor ) and when he was liam/human, he wasn't a good guy. he was a bastard who took and did whatever he wanted to rebel against his father and also because he wanted power/control. so when darla turned him, the demon had plenty to feed off of. it's why angel mentions the demon and how it feeds off of what already exists and that's why people change. because the demon is something that frees their true nature and they're no longer bound by human morals.

angelus is fucked up, does fucked up shit, and doesn't care who gets hurt in the process. so long as he's happy and content, that's all that matters.

[perfectanguish]

Roman knew he was right. The scoff, deflective and dismissive, showed as much. As did in the way he slunk into a chair, how he bent over with head in his hands. Arms come to fold across chest as eyes—judging and amused as always—raked over Roman with a slow shake of his head. He ignores the question as he moves to come towards him, single hand falling from chest to come to affectionately run fingers through the others hair. Fingers tangle loosely before gripping and tugging just slightly, not hard enough to inflict pain even if the idea was tempting. Torturing the mortal was always so very, very tempting.

"You need a vacation, babe," Angelus hummed, fingers releasing their hold on strands. They smooth out again and offer comfort, solace, a reminder that he was the only one who cared about him. "Let me handle the problem, yea? I've been itchin' to tear into something for a while..." words trail off as gaze shifts to look at a wall. That something, per usual, was Roman and his little friends. How they irritated the vampire to no end, yet here he remained. Hands clean of their blood; for now.

[blckfckinmsk-archive]

· 𓂃 ࣪˖🔪 ˖ ࣪𓂂 . Roman feels fingers through his hair and stills, the slight grip makes him groan a bit before lifting his head to look up Angelus's way. Brow furrows at the mention of a vacation, and maybe he was right. Maybe he did need to get out of this damn city for a bit, but he couldn't right now. He needed to be stable in his position before he could relax in any sort of way. And he couldn't do that with obstacles in his way.

Then offer's made and eyes brighten, hand comes up to Angelus's belt to pulls him a bit closer. "You'd do that?" There's a bit of a smile growing at features before he pulls himself up to stand. "I just need Salvatore Maroni out of my hair and everything will be hunky-dory again. Can you do that for me?"

[perfectanguish]

Lips twitch up into a smirk at the sound. It was one of the few sounds he did enjoy hearing from the other man. His eyes soon come to fall, locking with Roman's as he looks up at him. And oh how he felt like he was being looked at for salvation, as if he were a savior of some sort to him. He can see the wheels turning, trying to figure out if he meant it and would follow through. Which he would, easily, because he'd get the job done faster than Victor or any of the others could.

Pulled closer, brow arches as smirk grows. The hand still tangled in locks curl and tug again. Thoughts begin to wander with how close face is to...And he's standing, maybe later. "I would and will. Don't you worry that pretty little head of yours." Angelus hummed as hand fell from his hair, palm coming to press and rub at the others chest before fingers come to creep up along throat. "You just be standing by waiting for me..." he smirked.

The name was familiar, a face somewhere in his mind coming into sight. He'd set out for him in a little while, take him and anyone else around him out with ease. Because even though he didn't particularly care if Roman lost his goddamn mind to paranoia, he wanted to be the one to drive him insane. And it just didn't seem fair for a complete random wannabe thug to be doing it.

[perfectanguish]

@blckfckinmsk continued from here.

The screaming had been unfortunate. Typically he would have enjoyed it, but normally he would have been the one inflicting something to make the other scream. This time, it had simply been the screeching sound of a little man throwing a tantrum. As much as it was irritating, it was amusing. To see how Roman threw his hands up and rambled nonsense about everything and nothing at the same time. And it was amusing in how easy it was to set him off, to further feed into his paranoia.

Eyes slowly blinked as he watched, tongue wetting his lips as he shook his head. How easily it would be to just rip his tongue from his mouth. Make him eat it even. Yet Angelus did no such thing; not yet at least. Maybe in time he would, but for now he would simply sit back and watch Roman drive himself into an early grave.

The chair was easily missed, as was the other various objects thrown his way. "You hit me with something and we're going to have a problem," he warned, voice even and collected, a stark contrast to the humans own. "You're going to run yourself ragged. Make it easy for someone to slip in and," his words were cut off as hands met, a sickening sharp loud clap echoed off the walls, "we don't want that, now do we?"

[blckfckinmsk-archive]

· 𓂃 ࣪˖🔪 ˖ ࣪𓂂 . There's a scoff at that warning, but he doesn't argue against it either. His minds too busy to really process it. And that clap that echoes off walls and rings in his ears doesn't help. It sends his sensors into overdrive and he has to sit down. Bent over forward with his hands over his head. "Didn't I tell you to fuck off?"

For once he's not trying to be some spectacle or some sort. He knows how this looks to others, he doesn't like it either but he can't control himself when he got like this either. So it's best for him to be left alone until he calmed down enough to actually do something about the problem at hand.

[perfectanguish]

Roman knew he was right. The scoff, deflective and dismissive, showed as much. As did in the way he slunk into a chair, how he bent over with head in his hands. Arms come to fold across chest as eyes—judging and amused as always—raked over Roman with a slow shake of his head. He ignores the question as he moves to come towards him, single hand falling from chest to come to affectionately run fingers through the others hair. Fingers tangle loosely before gripping and tugging just slightly, not hard enough to inflict pain even if the idea was tempting. Torturing the mortal was always so very, very tempting.

"You need a vacation, babe," Angelus hummed, fingers releasing their hold on strands. They smooth out again and offer comfort, solace, a reminder that he was the only one who cared about him. "Let me handle the problem, yea? I've been itchin' to tear into something for a while..." words trail off as gaze shifts to look at a wall. That something, per usual, was Roman and his little friends. How they irritated the vampire to no end, yet here he remained. Hands clean of their blood; for now.

[starryeyesxx]

[perfectanguish]

a gentle reminder that i do have human angel so if anyone wants that fuckin idiot, just holler <3

[thatonekimgirl]

Buffy S01E01 || Welcome to the Hellmouth

[heartpunished]

               A DETAILED STUDY IN: The horrors of a long and painful transformation, the anguish of losing yourself to something you cannot control and don't understand, the anticipatory grief from your loved ones, being forced to become a monster and what to do when you're a monster no more.

                                          BEWARE THE BEAST BUT ENJOY THE FEAST HE OFFERS.

                                                                                                                             ( psd cred. )

[perfectanguish]

@normallyxstranger ( andy ) gets a semi plotted thing.

New Ashton had been on his radar for some time now. Wolfram and Hart had had files on the town and those that called it home, yet he hadn't used the information. Not until now. The law firm was nothing but rubble now and the champion needed to find a new path. One that didn't lead him back to old habits or lovers. So he headed in search of this town and hoped that just like the witches and demons that called it home, he could break him off a slice of that life. He also thought maybe they could use his help, if problems ever did arise.

Arriving shrouded in the dead of night, Angel looked for a hotel and was thankful the small town had one. Sleeping in the car wasn't ideal nor a sure promise of not waking up on fire. Once he booked a room, he unpacked and showered before heating up a mug of blood; he made a mental note to see about arranging something with the local hospital. Part of him wanted to rest, to take the night to simply sit and think things out more clearly. But he also wanted to get a lay of the town.

There wasn't much debating with himself as he pulled his coat on and made his way out of his room. It wasn't too late in the evening—in vampire terms, it was about eight in the morning, day was just starting for him—so there were still people out and about. Stores were still open which worked in his favor. He popped into a couple of them before he managed to find his way to an apothecary, a place that could be very useful to him in the future.

Walking inside, Angel stuffed his hands into the pockets of the old weathered coat. His eyes scanned the shelves and he could feel the magic radiating off every surface. Whoever owned the store wasn't pretending or putting on an air to scam tourists; they were legit. He walked around until he came to a stop near the crystals, eyes peering over them as he allowed mind to wander off in thoughts. Then he heard a voice and looked to the source of it.

"Oh...hi um...no. Maybe. I don't know," he chuckled at the redheaded woman's question of whether or not he needed help. "New in town. Just looking around for right now."

[goaskmalices]

[perfectanguish]

@drkroots ( the wife ) gets a proper welcome back.

Work trips were neither fun nor bad. He didn't mind lending a helping hand when Buffy called for one and though leaving was hard, coming home was always the best feeling. This time, it had lasted a little longer than he had planned or thought it would. And though it wasn't uncommon for him to come back and make up for being gone, he knew he owed Jewel a proper apology.

He'd came home late, naturally, the sun already having sat. There was some words exchanged, greetings and apologies, but it had been Angel who had wrapped her up in his arms. "I owe you big...don't even have to tell me..." he had whispered to her, smiling as he kissed her. He's not sure when they made it upstairs to their room, but they did and he was certain there would be some clean up downstairs and on the stairs needed. But that was a worry for later.

Lips dragged up along the inside of thigh, teeth nipping gently before tongue came into contact with warm flesh. Hands slid up sides until they came to grab hold of breasts, kneading and pawing at supple mounds. So maybe being away from his wife was a negative aspect to being on call to help save the world. But it was always worth it. The sounds he could pull from her, the way she tasted on his tongue.

A soft growl rumbled in his chest as tongue finally came to slither over and between silk folds. Eyes closing as he savored the taste of Jewel, like it was the first time all over again. Tongue soon flicked out over clit and circled it with a hum before lips enclosed around the bundle of nerves, suckling softly as thumbs brushed over nipples. Feeling them grow taught under pads of thumbs, he soon took hold of both with forefingers and gave a gentle tug.

[calirph]

𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 as 𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐃𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐃 𝐁𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐙 as 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋𝐔𝐒

Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Season 2 Episode 14.