dreaming

hw:173 cw:95 ugw: 105✔️ 5’5 19y/o NOT PRO-anything, i support recovery! active june 2021

[perfection-dreaming]

fuck residential i want out so i can relapse fuck this

[perfection-dreaming]

i’m home from the hospital and waiting to go to res this week but fuck i don’t want to gain weight

[perfection-dreaming]

and i’m being sent back to res.... no idea when bc insurance but fuck

[perfection-dreaming]

i want to be considered thin

[perfection-dreaming]

i’m finally back to my lw which is also the weight i was before going inpatient, ik i should start maintaining but i want to go lower idk

[perfection-dreaming]

i’m finally home from inpatient and i go back to my apartment tomorrow so i can fix what they ruined for me at res, i just want to lose like 10-12 pounds

[perfection-dreaming]

i’m currently inpatient and they’ve made me gain so much weight, i’m discharging on friday and i’m just waiting to leave and lose this weight i hate everything right now

[perfection-dreaming]

i finally don’t hate my body and they’re forcing me to go into res and make me lose all my progress,, if they knew my real weight i’d be even more fucked. i’m just going to go into res do what they want and then fix myself after but more secretly this time

[perfection-dreaming]

i’m not even trying to lose weight anymore and i still am ?! i’ve been drinking two ensure pluses a day and a meal at dinner so i won’t be sent to residential but i’m still losing ??? i have an appt today so i’m fucked but also where was this when i was trying to lose

[perfection-dreaming]

so i’ve hit my ugw and as much as i want to keep losing ik i cant. my team said i’m barely balancing on the line of where i am and emergency intervention,, not to mention my parents are extremely suspicious and there’s a high chance this week is not going to go well for me bc they’re both coming up to see me at school

[perfection-dreaming]

i’m so close to my ugw but i’m still not happy w my body. i always said i wouldn’t fall down the path of always lowering my ugw but like i just wanna feel confident in my body

[perfection-dreaming]

i’m so tempted to just lie to my treatment team to avoid hospitalization but like i’m also scared to die so? i legit just need to lose 1 more pound and then i’m maintaining

[perfection-dreaming]

my treatment team just told me if i don’t start making changes now i’m going to be hospitalized and i’m freaking out. i just want to lose one more pound and then i’ll work on maintaining and eating more. i won’t tell them when i’m at my gw though bc that’s technically underweight

[harrystylesmusic]

If you voted for tr*mp or support him unfollow me now

[skinnylgndd]

✨thinspo dealer✨

[praefoco-deactivated20210202]

I want to go days without eating again, i want to hear my stumach rumble, feel my hands shake. I want to feel lightheaded,  I want my control back.

[greenapplepunch]

some of you people NEED to be fucking reminded that loving minorities will always be more important than hating bigots