Because apparently we need a tutorial.
Okay guys. I know I encourage you to send me asks and then somehow donât reply to any of your lovingly-crafted little gifts of joy and 280 characters. I ask for questions for Steven and then never touch them when they arrive.Â
And so it stands to reason that we may need to explain WHY and HOW I choose the asks I answer.Â
It turns out I DONâT just answer every question willy nilly, and I DONâT just answer the ones who yell the loudest, beg the most, and send me the most asks. In fact, all those things just make it more likely to delete your message! (Sorry guys, but if you wrote âplz reply!!!!â into any message you sent me, thereâs a 99% chance I deleted it immediately.)
Anyway, to remedy this breakdown in communication, Iâve decided to do a quick writeup of how I select asks - and which asks I delete on sight and why.Â
Keep in mind that this is not an exhaustive list.Â
Letâs get right into it:
[Text: Reason #1: Future Vision. Ask reads: âSteven!! Listen to me! Youâre not a full gem! Youâre White Diamondâs don! Pearl killed Pink! Rose Quartz isnât who she says she is!!!â - REJECTED.]
Guilty of - trying to be a sapphire and using future vision to spoil plot points FOR THE CHARACTERS.Â
I will not reply to these asks. Full stop. The ONLY time I did was back in season 1 where someone told Steven heâs magical.
Reason:Â It takes away Stevenâs ability to discover things on his own, and makes even less sense in the meta. WHY would a person sending him asks know more about it than he, himself does?
[Text: Reason #2: Choose Your Own Adventure Gaming. Ask reads: âSteven, you should go up to the lighthouse on top of the temple. Then knock on the door. Then talk to Ronaldo. Then ask him about Sneeple. ThenâŠâ - REJECTED]
Guilty of - trying to control Steven like a character in a videogame or an RPG.
These asks get a delete 90% of the time because 90% of the time they donât move the story forward. Theyâre just the asker trying to grab control of the story to move it in the direction THEY personally want it to go. The solution here is to make your own story.Â
Even asks that have one thing are on thin ice. If you sent me a message that starts with âSteven, you should ___â then thereâs a 50% chance it will not be answered.
Reason: It says âASKâ, not  âTELLâ and not âORDERâ.Â
[Text: Reason #3: Sex/Violence. Ask is censored with a mosaic. REJECTED. ]
Guilty of: Not reading the room.
We get it. Youâre edgy. You Grew Up. You know about Big Adult Stuff. Itâs Exciting for you because itâs new and makes you realize for the first time that youâre a bag of meat. Youâre trying to wipe the feeling off by inflicting it on other people and hope it makes them feel the same way because you canât handle thoughts going through it alone. The idea of thinking something and NOT immediately sharing it is alien to you. You have no self control.Â
Reason: Thereâs a time and place for everything. This is not that time, and not that place.Â
[Text: Reason #4: Too Soon. Ask: âHey Steven, I just wanted to ask about how Earl feels about Rose now that she knows Rose shattered Pink Diamond!â ON HOLD.]
Guilty of: Jumping the gun and asking about a plot turn that has not yet taken place in the comic.Â
These asks are actually fine! :)
But I am unlikely to answer them anytime soon. The most likely outcome is that I save them to my Big Olâ Pile of Asks and answer them⊠someday. When they finally become applicable.Â
[Text: Reason #5: Misc. Ask 1: âHey can you draw me my OC he has spiky hair and anime eyes and big boots and hisâŠâ Ask 2: âcan steven skateboard? also i love your work :)â Ask 3: âWhen is the next comic coming oooout? Last week you posted 36 panels and this week you ONLY posted 34!!! >:( Why are you so lazy?!â]
I think most of these are a little self-explanitory.
I will generally delete asks that:
- beg for artwork, especially for free
- ask ME questions instead of asking Steven, or combine them (sorry guys⊠I wanna answer, but if I canât tell which one of us youâre talking to, I canât use the ask!)
- Demand that I work MORE or that Iâm somehow not satisfying your intense need for free-to-read content at the desired pace, because the world is your oyster and you NEED. THAT. PONY!!!!Â
âŠ
I want to mention one LAST reason that I may be âignoringâ your ask.Â
And that is to say, Iâm not ignoring you at aLL and instead Iâm just holding the ask quietly and sobbing because youâve absolutely made my day with your kind words and I canât find it in me to release the ask into the wild.Â
(I love you all, I promise I read your ask!! Iâm just very bad at answering! Iâm so sorry!!!!)
And just to finish off, to put your minds to rest I will also say this:
I WILL NEVER DELETE ASKS FOR ONLY THIS REASON:Â
- Your English isnât âgood enoughâ
I am an immigrant. I also had to learn English. Trust me, a few mistakes here and there are FINE! Donât worry about spelling or grammar! If I understand you, weâre good.Â
Thank you for reading! I hope this was somewhat helpful.
Okay but seriously, PLEASE read the FAQ.
