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@pergensque-blog
Moving to multi
I’m so sorry for everyone who followed me from other blogs but I am going to move Hinata onto a multi again. I thought I could balance more than one blog but it appears I’m just too tired these days to long into more than one blog.
He hasn’t been added yet but feel free to follow him here.
I will be continuing the threads of anyone who follows over there!
Moving to multi
I’m so sorry for everyone who followed me from other blogs but I am going to move Hinata onto a multi again. I thought I could balance more than one blog but it appears I’m just too tired these days to long into more than one blog.
He hasn’t been added yet but feel free to follow him here.
I will be continuing the threads of anyone who follows over there!
Hang in there Hajime
vaciiviity:
LUCK // LIGHT DOESN’T EXIST WITHOUT DARKNESS AS HOPE DOESN’T EXIST WITHOUT DESPAIR
HEAVY BURDEN, THE FILE HIDDEN AWAY ON HIS PERSON SUDDENLY WEIGHS A LOT MORE THAN IT ACTUALLY DOES. Oh, Hinata would eat his own words if he just knew what Komaeda found out. Surely he wouldn’t be running his mouth like this if he knew who exactly is he protecting.
( What an irony it is that Komaeda’s protecting them in the very same breath despite knowing the truth. )
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, just more and more nonsense. He’s getting tired of the whole thing about having to protect everybody from him rather than the traitor who feeds information to the enemy. “ A wolf in sheep’s clothing is a technique used quite a lot. Wouldn’t you agree with me that this only makes you even more suspicious? ” the others were quick to cling to his ( at the time ) empty accusations. Even if they may have realized their mistake, it still doesn’t erase the fact that they have, even for a little bit, doubted Hinata entirely on a lie spun by Komaeda on the spot.
A hand comes up to thread fingers through snowy white hair. “ And you will do what exactly? Your best bet would be to get me eliminated, wouldn’t it? So, are you gonna plan to murder me yourself? You wouldn’t want to hurt your precious friends, would you? ” purposefully further digging into anything that he can get a hold on, pushing Hinata as much as possible in spite of the intense glare that stares right back at him. This is getting exciting. Perhaps he’ll even get the other to lose his cool entirely and blurt out the truth.
“ And you trying to pin me as the traitor is a move you keep ABUSING so no one can take it SERIOUSLY anymore. ” There was a part of him that was given an anxious itch of WHAT IF’S... Komaeda convinced himself of the existence of a traitor but even if it was a truth who knew if the traitor was aware of their own existence. Their memory could have been wiped like the rest of them... In a way, it would make the most sense if it was him. There was solid reasoning in assuming a Reserve Course student thrown among the students of Hope’s Peak was actually a spy in their ranks.
Hinata believed in himself that he would not betray his friends... After all, he was not bringing information back to some nefarious organization even if he was.
“ Komaeda... ” The name is said with the weight of stress from days of being pushed by him for days at a time... Again with this? With acting like his life was worth ending JUST LIKE THAT ? “ I would never kill anyone... NEVER ... I don’t care what I’m offered, I don’t care why, I don’t care what I’m trying to stop... I will not give up the part of me who knows that it’s WRONG. ”
It’s a latch ditch attempt and he knows it but he reaches out for him, “ Please... You don’t have to keep doing all of this... You can stop here and now. I can convince the others to give you another chance... ” All over again he flashes back to that first day they spent together as newly found friends, “ I want to believe there’s some good in you still, that it can make you rationalize that what you’re doing is WRONG. ”
poetry sentence starters
@eludum: "i was forced to survive in your absence."
Lips part, no words prepared with the guilty conscious of someone who had ABANDONED those who needed him weighing on his shoulders. He knew her intentions were not to make his mind weigh down with terrible feelings it was just... Just the truth... He left her.
“ I thought I was doing the right thing... ” Eyes angle down to his hands, staring at the unnatural lines in the curve of his palms where scalpel had met skin and flesh, injecting foreign things into the muscle so his body would know strength beyond any measure, “ No... That’s partially a lie... I wanted to do it for myself. ”
Palms gripped into fists, his eyes shutting as pain shot through his heart at that admission. He wanted to become someone worth ADMIRING so he would no longer be the one gazing upward at them but they could look to him instead. Chiaki said he was someone the others relied on... He thought he could become more reliable by joining the school, having talent, becoming the Ultimate Hope -- Instead, he left them all behind.
Reaching over, he covers her hand with his own not daring to look her in the eyes, “ Chiaki... You’re more capable than you think... I believe you did more than SURVIVE while I was gone I believe you thrived. You had everyone else after all... Even though... Even though things went WRONG I know you did your absolute best without you... I’m just so sorry I left you. ”
vaciiviity:
LUCK // LIGHT DOESN’T EXIST WITHOUT DARKNESS AS HOPE DOESN’T EXIST WITHOUT DESPAIR
TRAGIC, REALLY, TO WATCH THIS EXCUSE OF A STUDENT CONTINUE TO YAP. He reminds Komaeda of those really small dogs thinking they are a big deal but only succeeding in further annoying those around via shrill barking noises. Only that this one is decidedly even more annoying than a tiny canine in that he continues to fight back as if that will ever amount to something. As if!
Cue a raised eyebrow more in mock curiosity than anything. “ Not scared? You make me laugh. It’s disgusting. ” and as if to demonstrate his point, laughter drips from his lips. It’s something akin to a broken music box, a loud and obnoxious noise that gets caught on the edges of his mouth and escapes in butchered pieces. It’s grating to the ears, somehow even worse than fingernails on a chalkboard. A tear is wiped from the corner of his eye afterwards. “ That was a good one. I suppose you get a good sense of humour when your life’s a joke. ” what a sad experience, to not remember one’s own talent and then find out they had none to begin with.
As fast as the outburst has come, it subsides into nothingness and instead a heavy silence is left behind. “ Your head must be full of cotton or something if you think the seeds of hope would sink so low as to pose as the traitor for the Future Foundation. You, on the other hand, are nothing but residue. Leftovers from a Tragedy that stains your hands. Of course, you’d wait until somebody makes a wrong move and then wipe everybody out in a trial. ”
HE COULD NOT STAND THIS -- Was it Komaeda’s goal to tear him apart from the inside, to rip out everything good he still had inside of him and throw it on the ground before him, “ Shut up... ” He speaks with the memory of how the real people in his life that matter HIS FRIENDS treated him when they found out. They were not disappointed, they did not even care because in the end WHY WOULD IT MATTER? Not on this island, not after all the time they spent together, they reminded him of something important he had never thought of.
He was free to choose his future. He was not constrained by the choices made for him. He was still a person of worth and value because people cared about him. Remembering their faces causes the anger seeps out of him leaving him only tired before the lucky student.
“ You’re... You’re pathetic, Komaeda... And I really do pity you. ” Finally, for the first time in a while he looks the other in the eyes, intense green meeting with the eyes of a figure who has lost touch, “ I pity you a lot... You don’t have anyone to rely on and you did this to yourself... If you would just face that you wouldn’t be alone. ”
Even now he recalls that kind boy who offered him a hand on the beach, who traveled with him to the different parts of the island, who stood as someone familiar and friendly even when things were falling apart. He misses that person but Hinata reminds himself they never existed. It was a lie from the very start. “ I’m not the traitor... I would never try to hurt my friends... I love every single one of them... I will protect them from you. ”
@vaciiviity: Their numbers are dwindling and fast. With each new island, another murder happens; two people out of the picture at least. So good thing there aren't any more new islands to unlock, huh? It makes it easier to make sure that the traitor doesn't end up killed before they can be found. Which is exactly why Komaeda ambles towards Hinata, hands in pockets. "How much longer are you going to continue to play stupid?" sharp words and an uninterested glance "Just spit it out. Admit you're the traitor."
“ Huh ? ” He had tensed up the moment he saw Komaeda coming his way -- a new riddle to unlock, more jabs at his lack of talent, another threat to their lives, what in the world was it this time ?! He feels as though he has Komaeda’s CURRENT patterns figured out and then... And then he says THAT. Hinata is left in his place completely dumbfounded, this is not the first time he has labeled Hinata as the traitor, even before it was revealed to him Hinata’s real placement outside of Hope’s Peak he had made others suspect him for reasons beyond Hinata’s understanding.
This time... He seems absolutely serious.
Anger suddenly flushes Hinata’s face, completely TIRED of Komaeda’s accusations lobbied against him, “ Is this your new method ?! To go up to us one by one and try this mad dogging as if it’s going to get one of us to give in and tell you what you want to hear! ” He sharply inhales through his nose as a build up of stress is coming out all at once, “ I’m not SCARED of you Komaeda and you BETTER NOT go near MY FRIENDS with this! ”
I might end up turning this into a multi since the DR fandom seems extremely dead.
poetry sentence starters
@vaciiviity: “I was faced with the realization that I never needed you.” it's spoken with a sneer, the usually pleasant expression on Komaeda's face all but gone. Instead, it's replaced by a cold exterior and eyes burning with unmasked contempt. Winning the Hope's Peak Academy file after beating the Final Dead Room on the highest difficulty has opened his eyes to a lot of things. "You're no symbol of hope. You're just a dirty Reserve Course student. A talentless stand-in."
So... This was Komaeda’s ultimatum was it? How strange it felt to know he would be off his back from this point further -- he would no longer vy for his attention with his strange antics or confusing words. There was nothing to do with his person that caused Komaeda to turn his eyes toward him it was always about the mystery. If he had a talent Komaeda wanted to discovery it -- nothing more... Nothing less... The person behind it was worthless. That was the way Komaeda saw PEOPLE after all, their talents were the face masks he looked upon with a desire to witness their success, without such a mask on Hinata’s face he was NOTHING.
“ You’re right... ” He spoke slowly with a far away tone, the words coming out of his mouth without truly processing what they meant, “ Which... Which is why I need to go home... ” Make it off this island, go to the NORMAL world again, never think of Hope’s Peak Academy, or this island again. He just needed to go lay in his regular bed, in his regular life, eventually get a regular job, and live his life out as regular nothing special Hinata. It’s all he wants now.
His movements are almost in a fumble as he walks past Komaeda with his head turned down toward the floor just wanting to get AWAY from him. No matter his resigned acceptance to his fate as a talentless nobody, Komaeda somehow had a way of CUTTING INTO HIM with his words.
꧁poetry sentence starters꧂
from the first 70 pages of “whiskey words & a shovel” by r.h. Sin
“ you’re so used to being mistreated. ”
“ you’ve gotten so used to being hurt that happiness scares you. ”
“ who robbed you of innocence? ”
“ who was your first? ”
“ and the saddest part of all? you’ll cling to the good memories, as if there were any. ”
“ the pain will always be there. ”
“ so many people are setting the bar really low. ”
“ you get what you allow. ”
“ i was never what you wanted. ”
“ i was just the one you settled for. ”
“ you’re an experience. ”
“ meet me here. ”
“ you were never the one. ”
“ this was never love. ”
“ you were simply necessary. ”
“ i had to be hurt by you. ”
“ i hope you find what you’re looking for. ”
“ i hope you find the truth. ”
“ and that’s how they control you. ”
“ our version of living feels more like death. ”
“ i understand you. ”
“ i was forced to survive in your absence. ”
“ i was faced with the realization that I never needed you. ”
“ you’re always apologizing. ”
“ one day I’ll stop listening. ”
“ we grew apart.”
“ we stopped trying. ”
“ i’m trying to get better. ”
“ i’m trying to get better at walking away from unhealthy situations. ”
“ i struggle with the idea of anyone loving me unconditionally. ”
“ sometimes I wish you waited for me. ”
“ i got tired of going through the same shit with different people. ”
“ it’s not your fucking fault. ”
“ you can’t change a man. ”
“ the thought of being in love is blinding. ”
“ bargaining using sex. either way you get screwed. ”
“ the memories hurt the most. ”
“ sometimes i get tired of thinking about the things that i don’t want to think about. ”
“ sometimes i get so fucking tired. ”
“ tonight, you’ll be the death of me. ”
@vaciiviity: It's not that Komaeda doesn't appreciate the gift ( really, the fact that Hinata /thought of him at all/ is kind of a big deal on its own) but it's always followed by the two of them talking even more and. He's been thinking about it. "You know you don't have to keep giving me things to talk to me, right? You don't have to spend all your money on a guy like me." honestly, he's lucky Hinata talks to him /at all/.
He ... Really is not sure how to respond ... It’s something he always did for the people around him, if he were to go to the market he would drop a couple dollars to bring his friends drinks when he saw them. Then again, it did not feel the same on this island -- They were all being FORCED to interact with one another after all, giving a gift to those willing to give him the time of day almost felt natural.
“ Uh... ” He starts out, clearing his throat awkwardly and wishing that Komaeda had not brought it up in the first place so he would not have to explain himself, “ Ya know... It’s not real money... We’re going to earn these anyway so it’s not a big deal-- ”
It comes as an after thought that Komaeda used that phrase AGAIN ‘a guy like me’... For someone so damn clever he sure did have a low opinion of himself. Even after everything he had done so far Hinata did not wish the lack of personal worth on Komaeda.
“ Listen... You shouldn’t talk about yourself like that... You’re not any less than the rest of us... ” Looking out toward the ocean he can’t help but think of those they lost due to Komaeda’s manipulation of the situation. It was horrible, irredeemable, but something only someone as intelligent as Komaeda could pull off, “ You’re... A really smart guy... I just wish you would use it for something better. ”
bro, i dont even care anymore. fuck it! *continues to try very hard*
vaciiviity:
LUCK // LIGHT DOESN’T EXIST WITHOUT DARKNESS AS HOPE DOESN’T EXIST WITHOUT DESPAIR
EXCITEMENT IS TRADED FOR CONFUSION WITH THE RETREATING BACK HINATA PRESENTS HIM WITH. A look is given to the crab still cradled in his hands, watching as it waves its pinchers around and threatens to attack him again. A finger pokes its head lightly, doing nothing but further annoying the poor creature.
At being told to put it in the nearby bowl, he tilts his head to the side. A moment of hesitation precedes creating a small crack in his cupped hands through which the crustacean slips before landing in the middle. It sits where it is for a moment, clacking its pinchers then attempts to climb one of the smooth sides only to end up sliding back down. This happens a few more times before it decides that it’s not worth it.
“ My hand is fine. ” protest that goes unheard, Hinata grabbing it anyway and beginning to dab at the line of blood trailing from one of his fingers down to this wrist. Jeez, so much worry for a nobody like him. Guess that makes him a lucky guy, huh? To have somebody look after him even when the injuries are as silly and shallow as getting pinched by an angry crab.
A band-aid is wrapped around the first finger followed by the whole process being repeated for the next one. In total, he got injured on three of them so now each one sports a beige dull band around at different points.
Flexing his fingers, Komaeda looks back at the bowl. “ You didn’t answer my question; do you think we can keep it? Maybe have it live in the restaurant. Pretty sure the supermarket must have a tank and other stuff to put inside. ”
“ What should we name it? ” yes, he’s being serious about the whole crab pet business.
Komaeda WOULD say that while bleeding from a small injury... Questions surfaced in his mind on how much pain Komaeda could truly process given his lack of reaction. Using an alcohol wipe he first wiped away the blood that was drying on his skin, no matter how small the injury he knew from basic first aid classes they could easily get infected if left untreated.
He shook his head slightly as he finished wrapping each cut with a bandage not in any denial that Monokuma WOULD or WOULD NOT let them keep it but simply from Komaeda’s clearly flawed logic, “ It doesn’t want to be kept... Look at it, it’s already frustrated to be taken off the beach... A container is no ocean. ”
If it had been a dog or a cat that would have been a different matter, as long as they clearly enjoyed being inside they were absolutely wonderful companion pets. Though, he felt uneasy about keeping an animal at all with how revenge driven this island could make people, reminding him of something that dropped his spirits more, “ Besides... Monokuma wants us to feel despair doesn’t he? Even if it wanted to stay he would probably do something to hurt it... We should go return it. ”
Yes, ‘we’ he decided, otherwise he felt Komaeda might just sneak it off to his own room anyway, damning Hinata’s logic.
@vaciiviity: It must be luck that Nagito's found a crab on the beach since the whole island is empty, even of animals. So what does he do with this fact? Scoops the small creature up, unlucky enough to get pinched while at it, and goes off to find Hajime so he can share his discovery. While still bleeding. "Hey Hajime, do you think Monokuma is gonna let us keep it as our pet?" gotta make the best out of their not particularly great situation. Though whatever happens next is going to be extremely lucky.
UNLUCKILY for Komaeda and his new discovery Hinata’s eyes are immediately drawn to the red liquid pooling on his skin from underneath the crabs angry body. There is a split moment where he believes that Komaeda has waltz in CASUALLY after harming another student on the island but his mind rights itself quickly. He would not DARE without a purpose and it is no weapon he holds but a frustrated crustacean.
“ Your hand ! ” He finally says, putting up his hands in a signal to prevent him from wandering anywhere else, “Wait here -- I think there’s a medical kit in the kitchen!” Quick to rush out of the room he convinces himself to slow down instead of running about in a blind panic. Komaeda is not PANICKING he barely seems to notice he’s bleeding... On second thought, Hinata found that far more troubling than anything else.
Finding the kit on top of a shelf he comes back out with quick steps and closes his eyes sighing out seeing the other still holding the damn thing, “ Komaeda... Please put that down, it CLEARLY does not want to be held... Uh, in this actually... ” He pushes a bowl that was deep enough to keep it from escaping and causing a ruckus around the restaurant. The last thing people needed was to get their ankles pinched at while they were still on edge.
“ So uh... I heard a lot of MMORPGs are getting expansions... ” Those words meant little to him, he was not even sure if Chiaki was interested in those types of games, but he wanted to continue to understand her interests. @eludum
“ Uhh... Sorry, I’m not interested on betting on this. ” He was warned against it with Celeste from the others in 77-B. @gungambled
“ How are you feeling, Peko? ” Did she even remember him or was he an unknown face in the light of a hospital room. @sparklymuses
