warnings .ᐟ 18+ mdni. smut. dry humping. oral over clothing. finger sucking (everyone scream!) sexual intercourse. unsafe sex (wrap it b4 you tap it irl plsss people). reader is dr. robby’s “daughter” - they’re not biologically related but she sees him as a father figure. age gap (reader is in her middle to late 20s). reader is close friends with trinity. both jack & reader are soooo flirty. he calls reader kid + many other pet names. reader calls robby ‘dad’ sometimes. horribly inaccurate medical jargon.
summary .ᐟ the 3 times jack has to pull himself from crossing that line that would change everything between yourself and him + the 1 time he throws caution to the wind and does something about his feelings.
authors note .ᐟ i listened to my moon my man whilst writing this ⭐️
part 2
The first time Jack realises just how fucked he truly is, is when you show up with the sweetest smile, warmest cheeks and what seemed to him, the raunchiest navy blue and white polka dot mini dress he’s seen in a long while.
He has a firm grip on the Bud Light can in his hand, nearly denting it as his eyes follow you across Michael’s backyard, flitting around with a smile and the swish of that damn dress as you greet Trinity, then Dennis, snorting when Trinity laid a playful smack to your ass, his grey eyes watching shamelessly as your pert ass recoiled under the smack, the ends of your dress lifting just slightly, already sending his perverted mind into overdrive. "Jesus christ man, get a fucking grip," He huffed under his breath to himself, shaking his head, as well as trying to shake away the less-than appropriate image of you in his head, busying himself with the beer in his hand, taking a sip to quench the thirst in his throat.
This thing he had for you, this crush (although he wouldn't dare admit that out loud due to how ridiculous it sounded - I mean a man his age having a crush was just humiliating, he thought) he'd begun harbouring, he knew it was wrong, he knew it was shameful - you were basically Michael's kid, not only that but he had scars older than you - everything about this little infatuation should've been pushed down to the deepest, darkest parts of his brain, but that weren't the case.
So deep in thought, he hadn't even realised that you were standing right in front of him, your greetings falling on deaf ears, "Earth to Jack - helloooo!" You smiled, your head tilted and eyes wide as you waved your manicured hand in front of his face, pulling him from his trance with an airy giggle.
"Hey kid, when'd you get here mhm?" He hummed, inhaling sharply as he feigned indifference, smiling as he brought you in for a hug, your vanilla perfume hitting him like a drug. "Got here a bit ago actually, had to take my things upstairs cause I'm stayin' here for the weekend - ooh what're you drinkin?" You hummed, mindlessly reaching for the can, taking a swig of it only to pull a face at the sour taste on your tongue, handing it back to him immediately, "Ew, tastes like burnt asshole," You snorted, pulling a smirk from Jack himself, shaking his head at your antics. "What? Can't handle a little beer? Thought you were a big girl," He cleared his throat, his eyes staying locked on yours as he took a sip from his drink now, his lips where yours previously were, the lipstick stain on the rim of the can a testament to that, "You know I am," You chuckled, quiet enough for only him to hear.
A beat of silence passed, that signature Jack Abbot stare prompting your thighs to press together, quickly looking over your shoulder to collect yourself, face warm to the touch.
With that, you conjured up the shittiest excuse to get away, leaving for the bathroom to pull yourself together, Jack needing to do a similar thing as he stepped inside the kitchen to seek refuge, adjusting his semi over his jeans before clearing his throat.
God, you were going to be the death of him for sure.
The second time Jack realises just how in over his head he really is, is the day of the Fourth of July.
Visiting the ED to see Dr. Robby was something you frequently did, staying at the hub by Dana’s desk as you chatted with the nurses, residents or med students, spilling gossip with Perlah and Princess, catching up with Langdon when he had a second to spare and bothering Dennis and Trinity whenever they didn’t seem so busy - hell your visits were so regular, Dana had a picture of you and her tapped to her station along with the pictures she had of her family.
What you don’t expect however, is to see Jack Abbot, decked out in what seemed to be the hottest uniform anyone’s ever worn, rush into the ED along side another officer on a gurney, your eyes widening, body - jesus everything perked up.
“Holy shit,” you huffed, more to yourself that to anyone else, brows shooting up to your hairline, Princess giggled alongside you, “Holy shit is right - cause if I got my hands on him-“ she chuckled loudly, prompting you to laugh along with her, lightly elbowing her side.
“What’s so funny, I wanna laugh too?” Trinity hummed from beside you, chewing the skin on her bottom lip as her eyes searched yours and Princess’ for any hint of what the joke could’ve been, only to follow your eyes and what seemed to be drool in the corner of your mouth, to a very sweaty, hot and bothered Jack Abbot sauntering off into an empty room by himself.
“Seriously?” she chortled, nearly doubling over with laughter, “Didn’t peg you for the dilf loving type, thought you liked the ratty lookin’ ones - like Huckleberry over there!” She laughed even louder, pointing to Dennis, cracking herself up with her own joke, only eliciting a not so gentle yet still playful shove from yourself.
“Shut up! And technically he’s not a dilf - silver fox though? Fuck yes,” you played into the joke, sticking your tongue out playfully before closing your mouth abruptly at the sight of Robby behind Trinity. “What’s a dilf?” He cleared his throat, moving past Trinity to place his hands on your shoulders, brows furrowed as he looked over your shoulders and down at you.
Trinity’s eyes widened before skilfully slipping away, your eyes wide in panic as you mouthed a hushed “fuck you,” to her as you turned in Dana’s swivel chair to face Robby, “Uhhh I am not havin’ this conversation with you, god no, go ask someone else - also, I saw Jack earlier-“ You huffed, looking over your shoulder to the room he’d slipped into, “He okay?” You asked, chewing the inside of your cheek as you looked up at Robby.
“Yeah he’s right as rain - bullet just grazed his shoulder,” Robby hummed, nonchalantly reaching for a mint in his pocket. Your eyes widened, brows furrowed to the Gods in worry, “He was shot? Is he okay? Shouldn’t someone be attending to him or something?” You worried, standing abruptly from the swivel chair you’d been sitting in.
Robby’s head tilted inconspicuously at your worried demeanour, his eyes narrowing before clearing his throat, “He’s a doctor himself sweetie remember? He’ll be fine - but you’re more than welcome to go ask him if you’re that worried mhm,” He almost teased, still suspiciously eyeing you and the manner in which you basically bolted from the hub and toward the room he’d gone in to, eventually shrugging it off and chalking it up to you being worried about a family friend (he was horribly wrong).
You knocked on the door to announce your entrance, clearing your throat, “Jack, hey it’s me - Robby uh - he told me you got shot and I just, I dunno - just wanted to come see if you’re okay,” You spoke softly, chewing the inside of your cheek with your hands crossed behind your back, rocking back and forth on your cowboy boots, waiting for him to either open the curtain or politely tell you to leave.
Jack went with the former, pulling the curtain open, your breath caught in your throat at the sight of the man you’ve been crushing on for god knows how long, shirtless, “Oh,” you whispered to yourself, your tongue darting out to wet your lips as your mind had to will your gaze away from his very distracting pecs, mentally face palming yourself for making your attraction towards him so glaringly obvious.
Jack only smirked, that soft but firm one he reserved for you only, “Hey kid - uh I was shot at - bullet proof vest remember, but thanks for the concern,” He softly laughed, distracted himself by the too-short, denim shorts you were wearing, his own mind wondering to dangerous places at the star and stripes of your bikini top peeking out from under your white tank top.
You nodded, rounding the cot to check his back, the wound nasty looking but nothing too serious you’d hoped, “You’re sure you’re okay?” You murmured, chewing your bottom lip - a horrible habit of yours, as you came back to face his front, taking a seat on the edge of the bed, lashes fluttering as you blinked.
Jack swore you were tempting him right now - that goddamn look in your eyes had him wanting to profess his love to you right then and there, the thought of ruining his friendship with Robby, pushed to the back of his mind with how your eyes roamed his, then flitted down to sneak a peek at his bare chest. God you were killing him.
“You’re cute when you’re all worried, anyone ever tell you that?” He muttered nonchalantly, keeping up his facade with his eyes downcast to the medical supplies on the tray before him, picking up a cotton swab doused in some sort of cream for his graze. You scoffed, lips parting to speak but his words had you speechless, your mind mush as it replayed “you’re cute,” on loop.
“Why do you do all this anyway - what, being an ER doctor isn't enough of an adrenaline rush for ER cowboy, Jack Abbot?" You teased, messing with a loose strand of fabric on your jean shorts, the softest smile on your lips as you picked your eyes up from your lap to Jack's, his eyes already on you, something flashing through them - something reckless, something that made you wanna jump his damn bones.
He huffed a laugh out, finishing up with his bullet graze wound, "Uh my therapist said I needed a hobby," He shrugged, raising his brows almost suggestively. You snorted, shaking your head, "Really? That's what you're calling it - risking your life like that is not a hobby, it's a death sentence," you scoffed, once again chewing the skin on your bottom lip.
Jack smiled, that same smile that made your cheeks flush, your ears warm and your thighs clench, "I can handle myself, stop worryin' so much," He cleared his throat, reaching for a clean shirt, sliding it over his frame, much to your distaste. Another beat of silence passed as he promptly pulled the shirt over, his salt and pepper curls a little disheveled, somewhat giving him a boyish charm, only serving to make you swoon even more.
"I take it you have plans," He hummed, swiftly changing the topic as he nodded toward your very skimpy, very distracting outfit, "Yes, uhm - I’m goin to a lake house with some friends, just came here to say bye to dad then I needa get back to my apartment to pack the last of my things," You hummed, mindlessly tracing shapes into the hospital bed. Jack couldn't help but wonder whether these friends of yours were boys, boys he was certain, no absolutely positive, he could treat you better than, that familiar raging green monster simmering just beneath the surface - god you were really messing him up.
"You need a ride back? I’m headed out anyway, could drop you off," He almost whispered, disposing of any used medical supplies before standing up, hissing under his breath at just how short those shorts of yours were, his adam's apple bobbing as he tried to remain composed - you had this ability to make him lose his cool like a teenager trying to talk to their first crush, it was bordering on embarrassing for a man his age.
You didn't miss the hitch in his breath, somewhat proud of yourself, "I actually drove here - I know surprising - but thank you Jackie, I'll take you up on that offer another time though," You giggled, fishing for your phone in your back pocket to check the time, "Shoot I should actually get goin - buttt do me a favour and get a less nerve wracking hobby please - see you later Jack," You beamed, winking as you turned on your heels, hips swaying as you left, most definitely hypnotizing that poor old man, waving over your shoulder before finding Robby.
Jack watched you saunter off, jaw clenched, eyes pierced and cock most definitely hard, "Nice talk kid," he scoffed to himself, shaking his head.
The third time happens when you're visiting PTMC's ED for a completely different reason.
You'd been at a bar with friends, a little tipsy (tipsy's a lie, you were flat out drunk off of your ass) when some guy repeatedly kept coming up to you, talking about showing you a good time even after you politely declined, multiple times at that; at one point he'd even gotten a little handsy, right when his apparent girlfriend decided to show up and in the flash of an eye you were being shoved against the bar, a right hook to your nose and the words "skank", "bitch" and "homewrecking slut" sounding through the air above the ringing in your ears, your own scream drowned out due to the stabbing, shooting pain going down your nose, towards your eyes.
"Jesus fuck!" You yelled out in agony, doubling over as your head started spinning, blood trickling down from your nose, warm and metallic as it gushed over your parted lips, seeping and soiling the cute white top you donned with the crimson colour of your blood. Your breath quickened as your vision grew blotchy, stumbling around on your vintage heels as your friends called out your name repeatedly, their pleas falling on deaf ears as your body gave out, vision going completely blank as you passed out.
Meanwhile back at the ED, it was nearing the time for the night shift to switch with the day shift, the limp in Jack's step a testament to the gruelling night himself and the rest of the doctors and nurses had that shift, his prosthetic giving him problems again. Just as he thought it'd all quieted down, in you came, well a very disorientated, clearly hurt you, hauled in on a gurney, your friend Alex at your side as Jack and a few nurses rushed up to you.
"Woah woah - what the fuck happened here kid?" He stressed, already at your side as the paramedics explained your condition, his eyes searching yours for anything else that might have been wrong. You simply groaned, eyes teary at the terrible pain in your nose, the blood that had been streaming from it now to a halt, dried sticky against your face and chest, "I'm fine - shouldn't even be here - this isn't necessary," You slurred, still a little out of it as they rushed you into a room, Jack assuring the paramedics that he had it from here, brushing you off when you let him know you could get off from the gurney and onto the bed yourself, breath hitching in your throat as Jack effortlessly picked you up and set you down onto the cot.
"Please don't tell Robby - I don't even wanna be here cause he'll just make a fuss and I just-just wanna go home and sleep Jack," You swallowed, wincing slightly as he took your face between his palms, "Okay, okay hush now kid, none of us will tell him but you gotta let me help you okay? Now tell me again what happened here," He softly spoke, his gentle tutting and the warmth of his hands on your skin calming you down to an extent.
"Some lunatic girl punched her square in the nose cause she thought she was flirting with her boyfriend - who was actully just harassing us and then she got all woozy and fainted and I panicked and called 911 cause I wasn't sure what to do," Your friend piped up from the seat she was in, hugging herself.
"That's good - it's good that she was brought in thank you," He hummed as he looked over his shoulder at your friend, smiling briefly before turning his attention back to you, lifting his one hand from your face, holding his index finger up and moving it side to side to assess your cranial nerves and eye muscle function, your hazy eyes following as best as you could.
"Okay now I’m gonna press my thumbs alongside your nose and you're gonna let me know when it starts to hurt alright? Then from there its up for a CT do we can see what we’re really working with here - you still with me sweetheart?" He cleared his throat, bringing his other hand back to your cheek, his thumb lightly caressing the plush skin there before softly pressing his thumbs along your nasal cavity up toward you eye, groaning and wincing once his thumbs reached your corneas.
"Doesn't seem to bad - took that punch like a champ, pretty badass if you ask me," He attempted to lighten the mood, peeking his head out to call on Princess, who had just started her shift, to take you up for a CT scan, only for your hand to wrap around his wrist, swallowing as you looked up at him with the neediest eyes he's ever seen, "Stay with me - please," You pleaded, your bottom lip jutted out, still tipsy and your entire face still throbbing.
Jack hesitated, his eyes locked on your smaller hand around his wrist, his scrubs suddenly getting too hot, "Yeah - okay I can take you up," He cleared his throat, helping you into the wheelchair and hauling you up for the CT scan.
Once you were done, you were back in the ED, already having assured Alex that she could go home and that you'd uber back to your apartment - the poor girl was exhausted and still drunk out of her mind, and her girlfriend had been waiting outside for her so you didn't see why not. In the meantime, Jack took to cleaning your face of the dried blood, his touch tender and reserved, apologising profusely when he'd apply too much pressure in an area close to your nose, his thumb once again tracing slow circles into your jaw as he worked to get you clean.
You sobered up real quick in that moment, your eyes darting all around the room but at the one thing you really wanted to look at; a stillness fell over the space, your heart beating pathetically fast, the cardiac monitor announcing it to the rest of the world along with it, pulling a particularly cocky smile from the man before you.
"So, good news is, there's a slight fracture, but it's nothing your body can't fix on it's own with some time and rest - bad news, no more bar fights for the next few weeks Rocky Balboa," He smiled, eliciting a snort from yourself, your shoulders bouncing as you hysterically laughed at his terrible joke. "What? I'm serious kid - or else you'll start to look like an MMA fighter, then next thing you know we're draining your cauliflower ears," He chuckled, your forehead connecting with his shoulder as your body fell forward with laughter.
"If the pain ever gets too much, a Tylenol should work - now lets get you out of here before Robby shows up," He called his hands, standing up from the edge of the bed, holding out his hand for you to take, like the gentleman he was, and you did, his hand dwarfing yours in size, something he tried really hard not to think about as he helped you stand.
"It okay if I take you home - cause I’m not letting’ you take an Uber like this, and I gotta be out of here soon anyway," He hummed, your hand still in his, his touch grounding you as you nodded, knowing that fighting him on this would only waste time. With that he led you out, trailing on his heels only to be stopped by Dennis and Trinity who were clocking in for their shift.
"Holy shit, what happened to you?" Trinity gasped, her hand on your shoulder to look you over, "You should see the other guy," You jested, your eyes heavy with sleep as you squeezed Trinity's arm, assuring her and Dennis that you were fine.
"Okay well let us know if you need anythin' okay?" Dennis hummed, hugging you before walking up to the hub, Trinity only raised her brows suggestively as she gestured with her head to Jack who had stood and waited for you, your lips twitching as you tried your best to not burst out laughing, hugging her before walking alongside Jack to his car. "My favourite shirt's ruined," You sighed in passing, more to yourself than to him, still tipsy as you looked down at your white shirt that was now stained red.
He turned to look at you, his tongue darting out to wet his lips as he opened the passenger side door for you, "I'll get you a new one," He muttered casually, once again biting back your smile as you got into his car, sucking your cheeks in as you thought over the entire interaction, your fractured nose the last thing on your mind, storing it into that special place you kept all your memories of Jack in.
The final straw snaps on a night you should've been on a date with some lame guy your age.
You'd been excitedly waiting for him, already having ordered a cocktail at the quaint Italian place he suggested, decked out in an all new wardrobe, feeling good about this particular one.
An hour had passed and you’d already regretted your earlier feelings, the other side of the table still empty, the complimentary rolls eaten and your pornstar martini’s glass empty, your eyes stinging with tears as you realised you’d been stood up, the messages to his number not going through anymore.
You felt humiliated as you stormed out of the restaurant, scolding yourself for thinking this one would be better than the others, kitten heels clacking against the pavement as you tried to collect yourself, looking up to the night sky to try and calm down, not wanting to spill any tears on a man that didn't deserve them in the first place.
You fumbled for your phone in your leather purse, nostrils flaring as your hurt simmered under the surface of your skin, your thumb hovering over the Uber app, your mind overthinking to the worst possible scenario before decidedly exiting it and clicking on your contacts, scrolling and scrolling until you had no one else to call, chewing the skin on the inside of your cheeks till a metallic taste hit your tongue, scrolling back up until your thumb hovered over his name, Jack Abbot. You stared down at your phone for what felt like an hour, heart beating rapidly in your chest as you finally worked up the courage and pressed call, sniffling as you held the phone up to your ear.
Jack had been on his couch for the evening, his off day spent catching up with sleep and watching whatever bullshit was on the TV, massaging his leg as his prosthetic lay against the foot of the couch - that was until your name flashed across his phone screen, answering it with a sense of urgency only an ER doctor would have.
"Hey kid, what's up?" He hummed, clearing his throat as he flexed his unoccupied hand, the smile wiped from his face at the sound of your laboured breathing and stuffy nose from the other end. "Hey Jackie," You sighed, your jaw twitching as you looked up once again, inhaling a deep breath to stop yourself from crying, wiping under your eyes as you sniffled before speaking into your phone again, "Sorry for callin so late but I-I don't know who else t'call - Robby's on his stupid sabbatical thing and it's-fuck- its too god damn humiliating too call one of my friends right now and-shit you're probably busy, I shouldnt have called I'm sorry," You croaked out, hiccupping as you spiraled, hands shaky and your worlds a jumbled up mess as you realised what you were really doing.
Jack's brows furrowed at your frantic rambling, shaking his head as he held his phone between his ear and his shoulder, reaching to put his prosthetic back on, "Woah, hey-hey sweetheart slow down - okay you gotta breathe for me or else I can't help you kid - now take a minute, then tell me what's wrong - never too busy for you," He hummed softly, his voice immediately calming you down.
You inhaled sharply, swallowing the bile rising in your throat before trying again, "Okay uhm - was supposed to have a date t'night but the guy uh - he stood me up and I took an uber here, and I wouldv'e uber'd back but its so late and I just - I didn't know who else to call," You sighed exasperatedly, looking up at your surroundings again.
Without wasting any time, Jack sprung up from his couch, tugging on a quarter zip as he looked for his wallet and car keys, "Send me your location, stay where you are and I'll be there as soon as I can okay honey?" He huffed, only ending the call after you confirmed you heard him with a hum, looking down at his phone to see you'd sent the location of the restaurant you were hauled up at.
𝜗ৎ
You sat on the curb, legs crossed and hugging yourself against the chilly evening wind, your eyeliner slightly smudged due to the few tears you'd spilled, only looking up when the familiar roar of Jack's car sounded out, climbing out and urgently walking up to you, "Oh sweetheart," He cooed, gently lifting you to stand from your underarms, your bottom lip wobbling as the flood gates immediately broke open, bringing you to his chest, strong arms wrapping around your neck to keep you close, "I know baby, I know," He whispered, the pet name rolling off of his tongue with ease, rocking you back and forth in his embrace as he shushed your cries, pulling back as his hands slid to your jaw, his eyes falling to your teary ones - he hated seeing you cry.
"Hey hey, look at me - no more crying okay? Any guy would be lucky t'be yours, you know that right? He doesn’t know what he’s missing out on,” He murmured, the rough pad of his thumb stroking from your cheek down to your jawline, his other hand wiping profusely at your fallen tears, "That dick just shot himself in the foot standing you up - just shows he didn't deserve you in the first place," He huffed, pulling you in to press a kiss to your forehead, "Jesus you're freezing," He laughed softly, letting go of you briefly to pull his quarter zip over his head, his black undershirt riding up, revealing his freckled lower stomach. Your breath caught in the back of your throat, not even registering that he'd moved your arms above your head, sliding the quarter zip over, his cologne overriding your senses, his hands working deftly to pull your hair out from the sweater and back over your shoulders.
"C'mon lets get you home," He quipped, hand at the small of your back as he brought you to the passenger side, opening the door and helping you in, reaching over you for the seatbelt, "I can do that myself y'know?" You whispered, voice hoarse from crying. Jack snickered, pulling the seatbelt across your body and into place, "I know - but I like takin' care of you so sue me," He smirked, closing the door before rounding the car for the drivers door, the life coming back to your eyes as you melted in his sweater, head falling against the headrest with the stupidest smile on your face, the asshole who stood you up already forgotten.
𝜗ৎ
The drive to your place was quiet and easy, the radio playing softly in the background as Jack checked up on you every now and again, saying the stupidest jokes to lift your spirits; the car soon came to a halt in your apartment parking lot, Jack opening the door for you like before.
He walked you up to your apartment, hand hovering over the small of your back but still remaining close, digging for your keys in your purse as you came to a stop in front of your door, opening it before turning to him, swallowing as you worked up the courage to spit out the words burning on the tip of your tongue, "Do you…maybe wanna come in?" You murmured, looking up at him with those eyes again, paired with you in his clothes had him throwing all caution to the wind and nodding before his mind could even catch up to him, closing the door behind himself.
"You want something to drink?" You murmured from the kitchen, standing with your hands behind your back as you looked at him, looking like a puppy that just got kicked out onto the street, tugging at his heart strings, "Uhh yeah sure - what d'ya got?" He huffed, crossing his arms over his chest as he took a seat on your couch, his eyes darting across your living space, everything so uniquely you - a framed photo of you and Robby on the mantle above the fireplace along with a few others of you with family and friends, the photo of Robby seemingly staring him down, acting as the angel on his shoulder, reminding him of how “wrong” his love for you was.
"I've got water, cranberry juice, redbull and a beer?" You scrunched your nose up, your head tilted as you peered from the side of the fridge door, looking at Jack for an answer. "Beer's fine - thank you," He cleared his throat, taking his phone and wallet out from his pants pockets and setting them on your coffee table.
You handed him the can of beer, taking a seat next to him, your bare knee brushing his, your eyes flitting from his hand holding the beer, to the lines at the corners of his eyes and then back down to his mouth as he took a sip, unconsciously squeezing your thighs together.
A somewhat awkward silence passed, the tick of the hands of your clock loud in your ears as you chewed the skin on your bottom lip, looking everywhere but at the man before you; "I meant what I said earlier - I wasn't just saying it to make you feel better," He spoke, his tone of voice low as he set the beer down, flexing his hands as he turned to you, "Look at me, please?" He practically begged, your body willing you to face him, almost as if there were a magnetic pull between you two.
His words from earlier wrang through your head like a broken tape record, lips slightly parted as you thought them over, the thinly veiled desperation behind those words clear to you now - he wanted to be yours and you wanted to be his.
The silence dragged on, and through it he could see the cogs whirring in your head, the picture of Robby on your mantle taunting him, telling him to stick to his word and not go against his better judgment - but how could he not? That dangerous line you both teetered on seemed to get thinner and thinner by the second, practically nonexistent with the way you were eyeing him, those sad eyes of yours pulling him in until the line was just…
Gone.
Before you knew it, his lips were on yours, sensually kissing you, large hands flexing on your waist as he hoisted you into his lap, desperately tugging at your (his) sweater and pulling it over your head, his lips falling back into place as he desperately found your mouth again, panting into one another as he moved all your hair over your shoulder, trailing his hungry lips down your jawline and to the juncture between your neck and your shoulder, your eyes fluttering as he paid extra attention to the sensitive skin there.
“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do this, you’ve been driving me crazy for as long as I can remember,” He mumbled into your skin, his right hand moving to bunch your skirt up at your waist, his left hand at the back of your neck, straightening your head to look at him.
And you did, your pupils blown with lust as you stared at him, brows furrowed as he began rocking your hips for you with the grip he held on your skirt, his bulge catching on your clothed clit so deliciously it made your head spin; “Yeah?” You huffed out breathlessly, letting out the cutest moan as he bucked up into you, “Yeah kid - should fucking hate myself for wantin’ you but I can’t,” He groaned, his forehead pressing against yours, your scent and touch all around him, making his cock even harder if possible.
You smiled, biting your lip as you looked at him, your hands in his grey curls, tugging at them as your hips continued working, “Bedroom, now please,” You whimpered, Jack smiling as he nodded, wasting no time hoisting you up with one arm, biceps bulging as he did so, his other hand on your bare thigh as he caressed and grabbed at it, getting lost in your mouth as he navigated through your apartment like a man on a mission, moaning into his mouth as his belt buckle rubbed up against your wet cunt.
After what felt like forever, your back finally met your cool silk sheets, his knee sliding between your legs on instinct as he hovered over you, his hand reaching out for the pink stuffed bunny you had on your bed at all times, looking at it with a meticulous gaze, “Cute,” He commented before tossing it, shaking your head and getting all shy as you leaned up to kiss him again, swiftly turning you both over so you were on top, your hands fiddling with his shirt, “Off - want this off,” You murmured into his mouth, his tongue claiming yours before scoffing at your needy demeanour, “So demanding,” He chuckled, pulling his shirt over his head, your lips swollen and kiss bitten as you pulled away, rolling your hips again as you looked down at his shirtless frame, bottom lip wedged between your teeth as you stared.
“What?” He smiled, leaning up on his elbows, growing slightly self conscious. You giggled, your nails trailing over his pecs, leaning down to press a few kisses to the freckles scattered like constellations across his chest, playfully nipping at one of his pecs before sitting back up again, “You’re just really sexy,” You shrugged, smiling as you manoeuvred off of his lap to undo his belt, moving further down south to take off his prosthetic.
“You don’t have to,” He hummed, running a hand through his messy hair - he hadn’t been with anyone since his late wife, and the thought of a younger, beautiful woman being saddled with his issues had him feeling just the slightest bit insecure, and you could see that, with the way his brows furrowed - but you were quick to wash all those thoughts away as you shook your head, “I want to, so let me,” You smiled saccharine sweet, little demanding thing you were, as you pulled up his pant leg to gently remove it, pressing a kiss to his leg once it was off then removing his pants and underwear altogether.
Your eyes widened at the length of him, lips parted in want as you eyed his cock standing at attention, pussy gushing around nothing as you sat between his open legs, “Get up here,” he huffed, quickly wiggling out of your skirt before his hand reached for yours, tugging you back up and onto his lap, his bare cock bucking into your soaked white lace panties, your desperation growing more intense by the second. “Fuck you’re so beautiful,” He hummed, looking up at you with hazy eyes, smiling as you removed your top, tossing it aside as his hands slowly inched from your waist up toward your bare breasts, grabbing handfuls and eagerly squeezing at the flesh.
You whimpered at the feeling, calloused hands rough against your sensitive nipples, his index finger and thumb rolling the pert skin between them, tugging harshly at them, only serving to soak your panties even further. His other hand fisted through your hair, bringing you down to his lips, this kiss messy, portraying the want, no the need, you both had for one another, teeth and tongue clashing, saliva dripping down your chin. “This-“ He breathed heavily, panting into your mouth, the precum leaking from his tip allowing for your clothed pussy to glide along the length of his aching hard cock; “Is why, you don’t mess around with boys baby - they wouldn’t know what to do with all this but I do,” He smirked against your lips, his hands working deftly as they moved you down onto your back again, giggling as he kissed his way from your lips, down your jaw, along the column of your throat and down toward your naval, his right hand smoothing along your thigh, bringing it over his shoulder, your sex right in front of his face. “You still listening baby?” He huffed, his unoccupied hand slapping slightly against your clothed clit, pussy weeping in response. You nodded, thighs threatening to close around him but his broad shoulders prevented it, “Yeah Jack - always listenin’ to you,” You quivered, somehow feeling him smirk at your response.
“Y’got the prettiest pussy honey,” He hummed, clearing his throat as he placed a kiss to your thigh, then right over your clothed clit, the wet patch right over your entrance an indication of just how badly you needed this, how badly you needed him.
“This all for me mhm?” He hummed against your cunt, darting out to lick a stripe along your covered entrance, the friction of the lace against your clit and his nose nudging into it as he mouthed at your entrance, sending your mind into overdrive as he ate it over your panties, using his left hand to pull the fabric taught along your pussy from the waistband, the stimulation stealing the breath from your lungs.
“Fuck fuck fuck, yes! All for you, only for you,” You mumbled breathlessly, your hands fisting the sheets as he messily lapped at the wet patch on your panties, growing hungry for the real thing as he hazardously pulled your underwear aside, his tongue making contact with your bare clit now, stars shooting behind your eyes at the feeling of him sucking your sensitive pearl into his mouth. “Just the sweetest thing ever kid,” He hummed around his mouthful, a string of saliva connecting his lips to your raw pussy, his eyes on your writhing form, smiling in satisfaction before diving back in, all but making out with your sopping cunt.
Your thighs started shaking, back arching off of the bed as he continued eating you out like his life depended on it, his right hand still tentatively stroking your outer thigh whilst his left hand snaked back up to your breasts, flicking and pinching at your stiffened peaks, that coil in your belly snapping at the added stimulation, white hot shooting through your veins as you breathed rapidly, his tongue still massaging your folds as he worked you through your orgasm.
Your chest heaved, smiling as he lifted himself from between your legs, now hovering over you, one hand beside your head to keep him up, his head dipping down to kiss your forehead, your cheeks, your nose and then finally your mouth, the sweet moment halted by tasting yourself on his tongue, your arms rounding the back of his neck, bringing him in even closer if that was possible. “You still okay?” He hummed against your lips, pulling back to smooth your hair from your face, thumbing your cheek, “Better than okay,” You giggled, pecking his lips again.
“That’s real great - cause as much as I loved tastin’ her - want you to ride me honey, you think you can do that f’me?” He whispered, blown pupils boring into yours, almost enough to push you through your second orgasm of the night, his chin glistening with your essence.
And that’s exactly what you did, the feeling of him sliding into your spent pussy more euphoric than anything you could have ever imagined, your hands on his chest as you rode him, thighs burning as you moaned out like a bitch in heat, the sounds coming from your room bordering on pornographic - your neighbours would surely send in a noise complaint tomorrow.
“That’s it, you’re doing so good for me baby,” He huffed, his hands on your hips as he helped you, tears pricking at your waterline as the feeling was all too much, the tuft of hair at his base deliciously rubbing against your worn clit with each roll of your hips, his cock hitting that spongy spot that made your vision blurry and sent your pussy gushing, your head thrown back at the feeling.
“Can’t-it’s too much Jackie-can’t,” You cried out, Jack’s voice cooing as he hushed you, chest heaving as he panted, “Nah you’ve got this sweetheart, I know you do, c’mon just a little longer - you wanted this kid now you gotta take it like the good girl I know you are,” He murmured, his hand snaking to cup your cheek, tilting your head so you were looking back down at him again, hips still rolling even through the overstimulation.
Your eyes dragged up to find his, dopily smiling through the pleasure, “There she is,” He cockily spoke, his thumb dragging along your bottom lip, before sliding it into your hot mouth, your lips immediately wrapping around the digit, tongue sliding along the rough pad as you moaned around it, sucking his thumb as you would his cock, picking your pace up.
“Fuck,” He almost growled, the sight of you on top of him, in your own little world with his thumb between your plush lips, your breasts bouncing with each thrust up as his large cock bullied through your swollen pussy, the ‘shlick’, squelching sound coming from where your sex were connected sending him reeling, his breath heavy as he used his unoccupied hand on your hip to keep you bouncing.
“I’m close - you still with me honey?” He huffed out, searching your pleasure clouded eyes for an answer. You hummed around his thumb, nimble fingers wrapped around his wrist to keep him there, increasing your pace to push you both just over that edge, your breath caught in your throat.
That line snapped with the last buck of your hips, his left hand digging into the skin on your hip whilst his thumb stayed between your lips, unintentionally quietening your moans as you did so around his digit, eyes rolling to the back of your head as your thighs spasmed around him, body shaking. Jack felt woozy on his own, fucking whimpering as spurts of his hot cum painted your insides, coming down from his borderline bone chilling high, pulling his thumb from your lips and dragging it down till his right hand joined his left on your hips, manoeuvring you until you slid off of his softening length, placing you right on his bare stomach, urging you with a hum and a hand on the back of your neck now, to lay your head to his chest.
And you stayed there, head tucked under his chin, his hand stroking any patch of skin he could find, murmuring sweet nothings and solid promises to you, lulling your overexerted body to sleep.
And finally when you were, your eyes rested, breathing even and your arms wrapped loosely around his neck, the situation dawned on him - that picture of Robby flashing through his mind again, playing on his guilt - but that selfish part of him didn’t care - how could he when the sweetest girl was clinging to him, making him feel alive for the first time in a long while.
With a kiss to your forehead and a soft, “I love you,” against the sweat slicked skin there, he realised he didn’t care - you were worth everything and all of it, and he’d be dammed to let you go - Robby would just have to deal with it.
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The central nursing station of Pittsburgh Trauma Medical Center was always a chaotic battleground, but by 0200, the exhaustion took on a heavy, metallic weight. It was the hour when the adrenaline of the evening shift completely wore off, leaving behind the stark, gritty reality of the midnight grind. The fluorescent lights overhead hummed with a persistent, maddening vibration that seemed to vibrate straight into the skulls of the skeletal staff. The smell of industrial floor cleaner, stale cafeteria coffee, and the faint, unmistakable copper tang of dried blood hung thick in the air.
Dr. Jack Abbot stood leaning against the high laminate counter of the desk, his arms crossed over his chest. His posture looked relaxed to the untrained eye, but it was a carefully constructed illusion. He shifted his weight subtly onto his right side, trying to relieve the dull, throbbing ache radiating from his left leg. The prosthetic was a daily reminder of his time as a combat medic and a SWAT physician—a lifetime of violence, high-stakes decisions, and physical sacrifice distilled into a piece of high-grade titanium and carbon fiber.
Jack was not a man easily rattled. He had seen human bodies torn apart in theater; he had navigated the dark, jagged underbelly of Steel City during tactical raids; he had cracked chests open on the cold concrete of ambulance bays. He was used to the grit. He was used to the misery. He expected it.
What he didn't expect was the sound of a sharp, confident laugh that cut straight through the low drone of telemetry monitors and the muted murmurs of exhausted residents.
Jack’s dark eyes shifted instantly toward the double doors of Trauma Bay 2.
You were standing there, holding a plastic-backed patient chart against your chest, completely undaunted by the absolute circus of the night shift. You were a new grad RN, a fresh face in a department that usually chewed people up and spat them out within six months, but you carried yourself with an easy, radiant brilliance that made it physically impossible for anyone in the room to look away. You were insanely beautiful, possessing the kind of striking, sharp features that didn't belong in a sterile emergency room. Your wide, intelligent eyes noticed every moving piece of the floor, and it was already common knowledge that your mind moved twice as fast as anyone else's on the payroll.
"I’m telling you, Jack, she’s a menace," a dry, overly familiar voice muttered beside him.
Jack didn't need to look to his left to know it was Dr. Michael "Robby" Robinavitch. Robby was the senior attending on shift, a man whose brilliant medical mind was perpetually fighting a losing battle against systemic burnout, administrative incompetence, and an ungodly amount of caffeine. But right now, the exhaustion lines on Robby’s face were tightened by a deeply ingrained, highly specific flavor of parental anxiety.
Because you weren't just the most talented, terrifyingly efficient new hire the ER had seen in a decade.
You were Robby's daughter.
"She’s doing fine, Michael," Jack said, his tone a flat, even baritone. He kept his face completely blank, carefully masking the sudden, heavy tightening in his chest every time your lips curved into a smirk.
"Fine? Jack, open your eyes," Robby groaned, rubbing the bridges of his nose where his reading glasses usually sat. "She’s been on the floor for exactly four hours and she’s already dismantled the entire hierarchy of the residency program. She just told Dennis Whittaker that if he didn't learn how to correctly place a central line template on the first try, she’d insert the introduction needle somewhere the sun doesn't shine. And she said it with a smile! The kid looked like he wanted to cry and ask her out at the same time."
Jack felt a rare, hidden amusement twitch at the corner of his mouth. He had watched that exact interaction from across the pod. Dennis, a notoriously arrogant first-year resident who thought his medical degree exempted him from basic competence, had been hovering around your trauma bays for three days like a lost puppy. He was completely floored by your looks, utterly emasculated by your competence, and entirely incapable of handling you. And you had shut him down without even looking up from your computer screen.
"I like her mouth," Jack murmured. The words slipped past his teeth before his formidable self-control could lock them down.
Robby froze, his hand dropping from his face as he turned his head to squint at his best friend. His paternal hyper-vigilance flared instantly, his eyes narrowing as he analyzed Jack’s stoic profile. "What did you say?"
Jack didn't break a sweat. He brought his military-grade composure to the forefront, turning his head slowly to meet Robby’s stare with deadpan, icy calm. "I said I like her mouth. She doesn't take bullshit, Robby. She runs that night crew like the damn Navy, but she does it without causing a mutiny. That’s what a good trauma nurse needs. If she lets the residents walk all over her, she’s useless to me in a code."
Robby let out a long, defeated sigh, his shoulders slumping as the logic overrode his initial panic. "Yeah, well. She’s got her mother's sharp tongue and my stubborn streak. It’s a dangerous combination in a place like this. Just... keep an eye on her, will you? I don't trust half the guys on this shift. They look at her like she’s a prize on a game show, not a colleague who can out-think them."
Jack’s jaw clenched so hard a muscle ticked violently beneath his stubble. His hands, resting on the edge of the central desk, tightened into fists. "I see them," he said quietly, his voice carrying a dark, dangerous edge that made Robby blink. "They need to focus on their patients."
Jack didn't say out loud that he was the one looking at you the hardest. He didn't say that every time a male staff member breathed too close to your shoulder, a primal, violent jealousy flared up in his gut, demanding he step in and exert his authority.
The worst part of it—the hot coal that sat constantly in the back of Jack’s throat every single night—was the age dynamic. He wasn't an old man, not by a long shot. He was in the absolute prime of his life, hardened, powerful, and deeply experienced. Because of that, you were actually much closer to his age than you were to your father’s. You were an adult, a fully functioning, brilliant professional. But the ghost of his brotherhood with Robby stood between them like a concrete wall. Jack was his best friend. He was the uncle figure who had watched you grow up from a distance, the man who had sat at Robby’s kitchen table for a decade.
And now, all he wanted to do was drag you into the on-call room, lock the door, and taste exactly how sharp that mouth of yours really was.
"I'm going to check the ambulance bay," Robby muttered, completely oblivious to the dark storm brewing in the man beside him. "If Whittaker tries to complain about her to administration, tell him I’ll give him a rectal exam with a flashlight."
"Go," Jack said.
As soon as Robby disappeared down the hallway, Jack turned his full attention back to you. You had finished charting, and you were currently wiping down the primary desk with purple antiseptic wipes, your movements fluid, confident, and entirely mesmerizing. The blue scrubs you wore did nothing to hide the elegant curve of your waist or the proud, defiant carriage of your shoulders.
You looked up suddenly, as if feeling the sheer weight of his stare. Your eyes locked onto Jack’s.
The air between the two of you instantly lost its oxygen. The ambient noise of the ER—the beeping of an IV pump, the shouting of a psych patient in holding, the wheels of a gurney rolling down the corridor—all of it faded into a dull, meaningless background noise.
You didn't look away. Most new grads trembled when Dr. Abbot leveled his intense, predatory gaze at them. They fumbled their words; they looked at the floor; they scrambled for an escape. But you just tilted your head, your sharp eyes flashing with a dangerous, playful intelligence. A slow, knowing smirk crept onto your beautiful lips, a soft flush of heat warming the skin of your neck.
You threw the wipe into the trash can, picked up a fresh set of lab tubes, and began walking directly toward him. Every step you took was deliberate. You knew exactly what you were doing to him, and you weren't afraid of the fire.
Jack straightened up to his full, imposing height, his broad shoulders squaring as he waited for you to close the distance. He was the attending. He was the boss. But as you stopped right in front of him, smelling faintly of vanilla and sterile cotton, Jack knew he was completely at your mercy.
"Can I help you with something, Dr. Abbot?" you asked, your voice smooth, melodic, and entirely laced with that signature sarcasm he was growing dangerously addicted to. "Or are you just acting as the human hood ornament for the nursing station tonight?"
Jack leaned forward, resting his large hands on the counter, bringing his face close enough to yours that you could see the dark amber flecks in his eyes. "Watch your mouth, Nurse Grey," he murmured, his voice dropping into a low, gravelly register that was for your ears only. "You're on my floor now."
"I know exactly whose floor I'm on," you whispered back, your eyes dropping to his lips for a fraction of a second before rising to meet his stare with absolute defiance. "And so far, I'm not impressed."
Jack’s heart hammered against his ribs like a caged animal. God, he thought, she really is going to be the death of me.
𓇼✩‧₊˚𓇼✩‧₊˚
she is here!!meet miss magnolia grey! i decided to give the character a name as that feels easier to follow. let me know how you guys feel about that:) im SO excited to give you guys some jack abbott ;). i hope you all enjoy this story as much as i enjoyed writing it. this will be a ten chapter story and longer than my last. i will be posted two chapters a day for the next five days, stay tuned for this toe gripping story. love you always!🧘🏽♀️🤎
warnings .ᐟ 18+ mdni. smut. dry humping. oral over clothing. finger sucking (everyone scream!) sexual intercourse. unsafe sex (wrap it b4 you tap it irl plsss people). reader is dr. robby’s “daughter” - they’re not biologically related but she sees him as a father figure. age gap (reader is in her middle to late 20s). reader is close friends with trinity. both jack & reader are soooo flirty. he calls reader kid + many other pet names. reader calls robby ‘dad’ sometimes. horribly inaccurate medical jargon.
summary .ᐟ the 3 times jack has to pull himself from crossing that line that would change everything between yourself and him + the 1 time he throws caution to the wind and does something about his feelings.
authors note .ᐟ i listened to my moon my man whilst writing this ⭐️
part 2
The first time Jack realises just how fucked he truly is, is when you show up with the sweetest smile, warmest cheeks and what seemed to him, the raunchiest navy blue and white polka dot mini dress he’s seen in a long while.
He has a firm grip on the Bud Light can in his hand, nearly denting it as his eyes follow you across Michael’s backyard, flitting around with a smile and the swish of that damn dress as you greet Trinity, then Dennis, snorting when Trinity laid a playful smack to your ass, his grey eyes watching shamelessly as your pert ass recoiled under the smack, the ends of your dress lifting just slightly, already sending his perverted mind into overdrive. "Jesus christ man, get a fucking grip," He huffed under his breath to himself, shaking his head, as well as trying to shake away the less-than appropriate image of you in his head, busying himself with the beer in his hand, taking a sip to quench the thirst in his throat.
This thing he had for you, this crush (although he wouldn't dare admit that out loud due to how ridiculous it sounded - I mean a man his age having a crush was just humiliating, he thought) he'd begun harbouring, he knew it was wrong, he knew it was shameful - you were basically Michael's kid, not only that but he had scars older than you - everything about this little infatuation should've been pushed down to the deepest, darkest parts of his brain, but that weren't the case.
So deep in thought, he hadn't even realised that you were standing right in front of him, your greetings falling on deaf ears, "Earth to Jack - helloooo!" You smiled, your head tilted and eyes wide as you waved your manicured hand in front of his face, pulling him from his trance with an airy giggle.
"Hey kid, when'd you get here mhm?" He hummed, inhaling sharply as he feigned indifference, smiling as he brought you in for a hug, your vanilla perfume hitting him like a drug. "Got here a bit ago actually, had to take my things upstairs cause I'm stayin' here for the weekend - ooh what're you drinkin?" You hummed, mindlessly reaching for the can, taking a swig of it only to pull a face at the sour taste on your tongue, handing it back to him immediately, "Ew, tastes like burnt asshole," You snorted, pulling a smirk from Jack himself, shaking his head at your antics. "What? Can't handle a little beer? Thought you were a big girl," He cleared his throat, his eyes staying locked on yours as he took a sip from his drink now, his lips where yours previously were, the lipstick stain on the rim of the can a testament to that, "You know I am," You chuckled, quiet enough for only him to hear.
A beat of silence passed, that signature Jack Abbot stare prompting your thighs to press together, quickly looking over your shoulder to collect yourself, face warm to the touch.
With that, you conjured up the shittiest excuse to get away, leaving for the bathroom to pull yourself together, Jack needing to do a similar thing as he stepped inside the kitchen to seek refuge, adjusting his semi over his jeans before clearing his throat.
God, you were going to be the death of him for sure.
The second time Jack realises just how in over his head he really is, is the day of the Fourth of July.
Visiting the ED to see Dr. Robby was something you frequently did, staying at the hub by Dana’s desk as you chatted with the nurses, residents or med students, spilling gossip with Perlah and Princess, catching up with Langdon when he had a second to spare and bothering Dennis and Trinity whenever they didn’t seem so busy - hell your visits were so regular, Dana had a picture of you and her tapped to her station along with the pictures she had of her family.
What you don’t expect however, is to see Jack Abbot, decked out in what seemed to be the hottest uniform anyone’s ever worn, rush into the ED along side another officer on a gurney, your eyes widening, body - jesus everything perked up.
“Holy shit,” you huffed, more to yourself that to anyone else, brows shooting up to your hairline, Princess giggled alongside you, “Holy shit is right - cause if I got my hands on him-“ she chuckled loudly, prompting you to laugh along with her, lightly elbowing her side.
“What’s so funny, I wanna laugh too?” Trinity hummed from beside you, chewing the skin on her bottom lip as her eyes searched yours and Princess’ for any hint of what the joke could’ve been, only to follow your eyes and what seemed to be drool in the corner of your mouth, to a very sweaty, hot and bothered Jack Abbot sauntering off into an empty room by himself.
“Seriously?” she chortled, nearly doubling over with laughter, “Didn’t peg you for the dilf loving type, thought you liked the ratty lookin’ ones - like Huckleberry over there!” She laughed even louder, pointing to Dennis, cracking herself up with her own joke, only eliciting a not so gentle yet still playful shove from yourself.
“Shut up! And technically he’s not a dilf - silver fox though? Fuck yes,” you played into the joke, sticking your tongue out playfully before closing your mouth abruptly at the sight of Robby behind Trinity. “What’s a dilf?” He cleared his throat, moving past Trinity to place his hands on your shoulders, brows furrowed as he looked over your shoulders and down at you.
Trinity’s eyes widened before skilfully slipping away, your eyes wide in panic as you mouthed a hushed “fuck you,” to her as you turned in Dana’s swivel chair to face Robby, “Uhhh I am not havin’ this conversation with you, god no, go ask someone else - also, I saw Jack earlier-“ You huffed, looking over your shoulder to the room he’d slipped into, “He okay?” You asked, chewing the inside of your cheek as you looked up at Robby.
“Yeah he’s right as rain - bullet just grazed his shoulder,” Robby hummed, nonchalantly reaching for a mint in his pocket. Your eyes widened, brows furrowed to the Gods in worry, “He was shot? Is he okay? Shouldn’t someone be attending to him or something?” You worried, standing abruptly from the swivel chair you’d been sitting in.
Robby’s head tilted inconspicuously at your worried demeanour, his eyes narrowing before clearing his throat, “He’s a doctor himself sweetie remember? He’ll be fine - but you’re more than welcome to go ask him if you’re that worried mhm,” He almost teased, still suspiciously eyeing you and the manner in which you basically bolted from the hub and toward the room he’d gone in to, eventually shrugging it off and chalking it up to you being worried about a family friend (he was horribly wrong).
You knocked on the door to announce your entrance, clearing your throat, “Jack, hey it’s me - Robby uh - he told me you got shot and I just, I dunno - just wanted to come see if you’re okay,” You spoke softly, chewing the inside of your cheek with your hands crossed behind your back, rocking back and forth on your cowboy boots, waiting for him to either open the curtain or politely tell you to leave.
Jack went with the former, pulling the curtain open, your breath caught in your throat at the sight of the man you’ve been crushing on for god knows how long, shirtless, “Oh,” you whispered to yourself, your tongue darting out to wet your lips as your mind had to will your gaze away from his very distracting pecs, mentally face palming yourself for making your attraction towards him so glaringly obvious.
Jack only smirked, that soft but firm one he reserved for you only, “Hey kid - uh I was shot at - bullet proof vest remember, but thanks for the concern,” He softly laughed, distracted himself by the too-short, denim shorts you were wearing, his own mind wondering to dangerous places at the star and stripes of your bikini top peeking out from under your white tank top.
You nodded, rounding the cot to check his back, the wound nasty looking but nothing too serious you’d hoped, “You’re sure you’re okay?” You murmured, chewing your bottom lip - a horrible habit of yours, as you came back to face his front, taking a seat on the edge of the bed, lashes fluttering as you blinked.
Jack swore you were tempting him right now - that goddamn look in your eyes had him wanting to profess his love to you right then and there, the thought of ruining his friendship with Robby, pushed to the back of his mind with how your eyes roamed his, then flitted down to sneak a peek at his bare chest. God you were killing him.
“You’re cute when you’re all worried, anyone ever tell you that?” He muttered nonchalantly, keeping up his facade with his eyes downcast to the medical supplies on the tray before him, picking up a cotton swab doused in some sort of cream for his graze. You scoffed, lips parting to speak but his words had you speechless, your mind mush as it replayed “you’re cute,” on loop.
“Why do you do all this anyway - what, being an ER doctor isn't enough of an adrenaline rush for ER cowboy, Jack Abbot?" You teased, messing with a loose strand of fabric on your jean shorts, the softest smile on your lips as you picked your eyes up from your lap to Jack's, his eyes already on you, something flashing through them - something reckless, something that made you wanna jump his damn bones.
He huffed a laugh out, finishing up with his bullet graze wound, "Uh my therapist said I needed a hobby," He shrugged, raising his brows almost suggestively. You snorted, shaking your head, "Really? That's what you're calling it - risking your life like that is not a hobby, it's a death sentence," you scoffed, once again chewing the skin on your bottom lip.
Jack smiled, that same smile that made your cheeks flush, your ears warm and your thighs clench, "I can handle myself, stop worryin' so much," He cleared his throat, reaching for a clean shirt, sliding it over his frame, much to your distaste. Another beat of silence passed as he promptly pulled the shirt over, his salt and pepper curls a little disheveled, somewhat giving him a boyish charm, only serving to make you swoon even more.
"I take it you have plans," He hummed, swiftly changing the topic as he nodded toward your very skimpy, very distracting outfit, "Yes, uhm - I’m goin to a lake house with some friends, just came here to say bye to dad then I needa get back to my apartment to pack the last of my things," You hummed, mindlessly tracing shapes into the hospital bed. Jack couldn't help but wonder whether these friends of yours were boys, boys he was certain, no absolutely positive, he could treat you better than, that familiar raging green monster simmering just beneath the surface - god you were really messing him up.
"You need a ride back? I’m headed out anyway, could drop you off," He almost whispered, disposing of any used medical supplies before standing up, hissing under his breath at just how short those shorts of yours were, his adam's apple bobbing as he tried to remain composed - you had this ability to make him lose his cool like a teenager trying to talk to their first crush, it was bordering on embarrassing for a man his age.
You didn't miss the hitch in his breath, somewhat proud of yourself, "I actually drove here - I know surprising - but thank you Jackie, I'll take you up on that offer another time though," You giggled, fishing for your phone in your back pocket to check the time, "Shoot I should actually get goin - buttt do me a favour and get a less nerve wracking hobby please - see you later Jack," You beamed, winking as you turned on your heels, hips swaying as you left, most definitely hypnotizing that poor old man, waving over your shoulder before finding Robby.
Jack watched you saunter off, jaw clenched, eyes pierced and cock most definitely hard, "Nice talk kid," he scoffed to himself, shaking his head.
The third time happens when you're visiting PTMC's ED for a completely different reason.
You'd been at a bar with friends, a little tipsy (tipsy's a lie, you were flat out drunk off of your ass) when some guy repeatedly kept coming up to you, talking about showing you a good time even after you politely declined, multiple times at that; at one point he'd even gotten a little handsy, right when his apparent girlfriend decided to show up and in the flash of an eye you were being shoved against the bar, a right hook to your nose and the words "skank", "bitch" and "homewrecking slut" sounding through the air above the ringing in your ears, your own scream drowned out due to the stabbing, shooting pain going down your nose, towards your eyes.
"Jesus fuck!" You yelled out in agony, doubling over as your head started spinning, blood trickling down from your nose, warm and metallic as it gushed over your parted lips, seeping and soiling the cute white top you donned with the crimson colour of your blood. Your breath quickened as your vision grew blotchy, stumbling around on your vintage heels as your friends called out your name repeatedly, their pleas falling on deaf ears as your body gave out, vision going completely blank as you passed out.
Meanwhile back at the ED, it was nearing the time for the night shift to switch with the day shift, the limp in Jack's step a testament to the gruelling night himself and the rest of the doctors and nurses had that shift, his prosthetic giving him problems again. Just as he thought it'd all quieted down, in you came, well a very disorientated, clearly hurt you, hauled in on a gurney, your friend Alex at your side as Jack and a few nurses rushed up to you.
"Woah woah - what the fuck happened here kid?" He stressed, already at your side as the paramedics explained your condition, his eyes searching yours for anything else that might have been wrong. You simply groaned, eyes teary at the terrible pain in your nose, the blood that had been streaming from it now to a halt, dried sticky against your face and chest, "I'm fine - shouldn't even be here - this isn't necessary," You slurred, still a little out of it as they rushed you into a room, Jack assuring the paramedics that he had it from here, brushing you off when you let him know you could get off from the gurney and onto the bed yourself, breath hitching in your throat as Jack effortlessly picked you up and set you down onto the cot.
"Please don't tell Robby - I don't even wanna be here cause he'll just make a fuss and I just-just wanna go home and sleep Jack," You swallowed, wincing slightly as he took your face between his palms, "Okay, okay hush now kid, none of us will tell him but you gotta let me help you okay? Now tell me again what happened here," He softly spoke, his gentle tutting and the warmth of his hands on your skin calming you down to an extent.
"Some lunatic girl punched her square in the nose cause she thought she was flirting with her boyfriend - who was actully just harassing us and then she got all woozy and fainted and I panicked and called 911 cause I wasn't sure what to do," Your friend piped up from the seat she was in, hugging herself.
"That's good - it's good that she was brought in thank you," He hummed as he looked over his shoulder at your friend, smiling briefly before turning his attention back to you, lifting his one hand from your face, holding his index finger up and moving it side to side to assess your cranial nerves and eye muscle function, your hazy eyes following as best as you could.
"Okay now I’m gonna press my thumbs alongside your nose and you're gonna let me know when it starts to hurt alright? Then from there its up for a CT do we can see what we’re really working with here - you still with me sweetheart?" He cleared his throat, bringing his other hand back to your cheek, his thumb lightly caressing the plush skin there before softly pressing his thumbs along your nasal cavity up toward you eye, groaning and wincing once his thumbs reached your corneas.
"Doesn't seem to bad - took that punch like a champ, pretty badass if you ask me," He attempted to lighten the mood, peeking his head out to call on Princess, who had just started her shift, to take you up for a CT scan, only for your hand to wrap around his wrist, swallowing as you looked up at him with the neediest eyes he's ever seen, "Stay with me - please," You pleaded, your bottom lip jutted out, still tipsy and your entire face still throbbing.
Jack hesitated, his eyes locked on your smaller hand around his wrist, his scrubs suddenly getting too hot, "Yeah - okay I can take you up," He cleared his throat, helping you into the wheelchair and hauling you up for the CT scan.
Once you were done, you were back in the ED, already having assured Alex that she could go home and that you'd uber back to your apartment - the poor girl was exhausted and still drunk out of her mind, and her girlfriend had been waiting outside for her so you didn't see why not. In the meantime, Jack took to cleaning your face of the dried blood, his touch tender and reserved, apologising profusely when he'd apply too much pressure in an area close to your nose, his thumb once again tracing slow circles into your jaw as he worked to get you clean.
You sobered up real quick in that moment, your eyes darting all around the room but at the one thing you really wanted to look at; a stillness fell over the space, your heart beating pathetically fast, the cardiac monitor announcing it to the rest of the world along with it, pulling a particularly cocky smile from the man before you.
"So, good news is, there's a slight fracture, but it's nothing your body can't fix on it's own with some time and rest - bad news, no more bar fights for the next few weeks Rocky Balboa," He smiled, eliciting a snort from yourself, your shoulders bouncing as you hysterically laughed at his terrible joke. "What? I'm serious kid - or else you'll start to look like an MMA fighter, then next thing you know we're draining your cauliflower ears," He chuckled, your forehead connecting with his shoulder as your body fell forward with laughter.
"If the pain ever gets too much, a Tylenol should work - now lets get you out of here before Robby shows up," He called his hands, standing up from the edge of the bed, holding out his hand for you to take, like the gentleman he was, and you did, his hand dwarfing yours in size, something he tried really hard not to think about as he helped you stand.
"It okay if I take you home - cause I’m not letting’ you take an Uber like this, and I gotta be out of here soon anyway," He hummed, your hand still in his, his touch grounding you as you nodded, knowing that fighting him on this would only waste time. With that he led you out, trailing on his heels only to be stopped by Dennis and Trinity who were clocking in for their shift.
"Holy shit, what happened to you?" Trinity gasped, her hand on your shoulder to look you over, "You should see the other guy," You jested, your eyes heavy with sleep as you squeezed Trinity's arm, assuring her and Dennis that you were fine.
"Okay well let us know if you need anythin' okay?" Dennis hummed, hugging you before walking up to the hub, Trinity only raised her brows suggestively as she gestured with her head to Jack who had stood and waited for you, your lips twitching as you tried your best to not burst out laughing, hugging her before walking alongside Jack to his car. "My favourite shirt's ruined," You sighed in passing, more to yourself than to him, still tipsy as you looked down at your white shirt that was now stained red.
He turned to look at you, his tongue darting out to wet his lips as he opened the passenger side door for you, "I'll get you a new one," He muttered casually, once again biting back your smile as you got into his car, sucking your cheeks in as you thought over the entire interaction, your fractured nose the last thing on your mind, storing it into that special place you kept all your memories of Jack in.
The final straw snaps on a night you should've been on a date with some lame guy your age.
You'd been excitedly waiting for him, already having ordered a cocktail at the quaint Italian place he suggested, decked out in an all new wardrobe, feeling good about this particular one.
An hour had passed and you’d already regretted your earlier feelings, the other side of the table still empty, the complimentary rolls eaten and your pornstar martini’s glass empty, your eyes stinging with tears as you realised you’d been stood up, the messages to his number not going through anymore.
You felt humiliated as you stormed out of the restaurant, scolding yourself for thinking this one would be better than the others, kitten heels clacking against the pavement as you tried to collect yourself, looking up to the night sky to try and calm down, not wanting to spill any tears on a man that didn't deserve them in the first place.
You fumbled for your phone in your leather purse, nostrils flaring as your hurt simmered under the surface of your skin, your thumb hovering over the Uber app, your mind overthinking to the worst possible scenario before decidedly exiting it and clicking on your contacts, scrolling and scrolling until you had no one else to call, chewing the skin on the inside of your cheeks till a metallic taste hit your tongue, scrolling back up until your thumb hovered over his name, Jack Abbot. You stared down at your phone for what felt like an hour, heart beating rapidly in your chest as you finally worked up the courage and pressed call, sniffling as you held the phone up to your ear.
Jack had been on his couch for the evening, his off day spent catching up with sleep and watching whatever bullshit was on the TV, massaging his leg as his prosthetic lay against the foot of the couch - that was until your name flashed across his phone screen, answering it with a sense of urgency only an ER doctor would have.
"Hey kid, what's up?" He hummed, clearing his throat as he flexed his unoccupied hand, the smile wiped from his face at the sound of your laboured breathing and stuffy nose from the other end. "Hey Jackie," You sighed, your jaw twitching as you looked up once again, inhaling a deep breath to stop yourself from crying, wiping under your eyes as you sniffled before speaking into your phone again, "Sorry for callin so late but I-I don't know who else t'call - Robby's on his stupid sabbatical thing and it's-fuck- its too god damn humiliating too call one of my friends right now and-shit you're probably busy, I shouldnt have called I'm sorry," You croaked out, hiccupping as you spiraled, hands shaky and your worlds a jumbled up mess as you realised what you were really doing.
Jack's brows furrowed at your frantic rambling, shaking his head as he held his phone between his ear and his shoulder, reaching to put his prosthetic back on, "Woah, hey-hey sweetheart slow down - okay you gotta breathe for me or else I can't help you kid - now take a minute, then tell me what's wrong - never too busy for you," He hummed softly, his voice immediately calming you down.
You inhaled sharply, swallowing the bile rising in your throat before trying again, "Okay uhm - was supposed to have a date t'night but the guy uh - he stood me up and I took an uber here, and I wouldv'e uber'd back but its so late and I just - I didn't know who else to call," You sighed exasperatedly, looking up at your surroundings again.
Without wasting any time, Jack sprung up from his couch, tugging on a quarter zip as he looked for his wallet and car keys, "Send me your location, stay where you are and I'll be there as soon as I can okay honey?" He huffed, only ending the call after you confirmed you heard him with a hum, looking down at his phone to see you'd sent the location of the restaurant you were hauled up at.
𝜗ৎ
You sat on the curb, legs crossed and hugging yourself against the chilly evening wind, your eyeliner slightly smudged due to the few tears you'd spilled, only looking up when the familiar roar of Jack's car sounded out, climbing out and urgently walking up to you, "Oh sweetheart," He cooed, gently lifting you to stand from your underarms, your bottom lip wobbling as the flood gates immediately broke open, bringing you to his chest, strong arms wrapping around your neck to keep you close, "I know baby, I know," He whispered, the pet name rolling off of his tongue with ease, rocking you back and forth in his embrace as he shushed your cries, pulling back as his hands slid to your jaw, his eyes falling to your teary ones - he hated seeing you cry.
"Hey hey, look at me - no more crying okay? Any guy would be lucky t'be yours, you know that right? He doesn’t know what he’s missing out on,” He murmured, the rough pad of his thumb stroking from your cheek down to your jawline, his other hand wiping profusely at your fallen tears, "That dick just shot himself in the foot standing you up - just shows he didn't deserve you in the first place," He huffed, pulling you in to press a kiss to your forehead, "Jesus you're freezing," He laughed softly, letting go of you briefly to pull his quarter zip over his head, his black undershirt riding up, revealing his freckled lower stomach. Your breath caught in the back of your throat, not even registering that he'd moved your arms above your head, sliding the quarter zip over, his cologne overriding your senses, his hands working deftly to pull your hair out from the sweater and back over your shoulders.
"C'mon lets get you home," He quipped, hand at the small of your back as he brought you to the passenger side, opening the door and helping you in, reaching over you for the seatbelt, "I can do that myself y'know?" You whispered, voice hoarse from crying. Jack snickered, pulling the seatbelt across your body and into place, "I know - but I like takin' care of you so sue me," He smirked, closing the door before rounding the car for the drivers door, the life coming back to your eyes as you melted in his sweater, head falling against the headrest with the stupidest smile on your face, the asshole who stood you up already forgotten.
𝜗ৎ
The drive to your place was quiet and easy, the radio playing softly in the background as Jack checked up on you every now and again, saying the stupidest jokes to lift your spirits; the car soon came to a halt in your apartment parking lot, Jack opening the door for you like before.
He walked you up to your apartment, hand hovering over the small of your back but still remaining close, digging for your keys in your purse as you came to a stop in front of your door, opening it before turning to him, swallowing as you worked up the courage to spit out the words burning on the tip of your tongue, "Do you…maybe wanna come in?" You murmured, looking up at him with those eyes again, paired with you in his clothes had him throwing all caution to the wind and nodding before his mind could even catch up to him, closing the door behind himself.
"You want something to drink?" You murmured from the kitchen, standing with your hands behind your back as you looked at him, looking like a puppy that just got kicked out onto the street, tugging at his heart strings, "Uhh yeah sure - what d'ya got?" He huffed, crossing his arms over his chest as he took a seat on your couch, his eyes darting across your living space, everything so uniquely you - a framed photo of you and Robby on the mantle above the fireplace along with a few others of you with family and friends, the photo of Robby seemingly staring him down, acting as the angel on his shoulder, reminding him of how “wrong” his love for you was.
"I've got water, cranberry juice, redbull and a beer?" You scrunched your nose up, your head tilted as you peered from the side of the fridge door, looking at Jack for an answer. "Beer's fine - thank you," He cleared his throat, taking his phone and wallet out from his pants pockets and setting them on your coffee table.
You handed him the can of beer, taking a seat next to him, your bare knee brushing his, your eyes flitting from his hand holding the beer, to the lines at the corners of his eyes and then back down to his mouth as he took a sip, unconsciously squeezing your thighs together.
A somewhat awkward silence passed, the tick of the hands of your clock loud in your ears as you chewed the skin on your bottom lip, looking everywhere but at the man before you; "I meant what I said earlier - I wasn't just saying it to make you feel better," He spoke, his tone of voice low as he set the beer down, flexing his hands as he turned to you, "Look at me, please?" He practically begged, your body willing you to face him, almost as if there were a magnetic pull between you two.
His words from earlier wrang through your head like a broken tape record, lips slightly parted as you thought them over, the thinly veiled desperation behind those words clear to you now - he wanted to be yours and you wanted to be his.
The silence dragged on, and through it he could see the cogs whirring in your head, the picture of Robby on your mantle taunting him, telling him to stick to his word and not go against his better judgment - but how could he not? That dangerous line you both teetered on seemed to get thinner and thinner by the second, practically nonexistent with the way you were eyeing him, those sad eyes of yours pulling him in until the line was just…
Gone.
Before you knew it, his lips were on yours, sensually kissing you, large hands flexing on your waist as he hoisted you into his lap, desperately tugging at your (his) sweater and pulling it over your head, his lips falling back into place as he desperately found your mouth again, panting into one another as he moved all your hair over your shoulder, trailing his hungry lips down your jawline and to the juncture between your neck and your shoulder, your eyes fluttering as he paid extra attention to the sensitive skin there.
“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do this, you’ve been driving me crazy for as long as I can remember,” He mumbled into your skin, his right hand moving to bunch your skirt up at your waist, his left hand at the back of your neck, straightening your head to look at him.
And you did, your pupils blown with lust as you stared at him, brows furrowed as he began rocking your hips for you with the grip he held on your skirt, his bulge catching on your clothed clit so deliciously it made your head spin; “Yeah?” You huffed out breathlessly, letting out the cutest moan as he bucked up into you, “Yeah kid - should fucking hate myself for wantin’ you but I can’t,” He groaned, his forehead pressing against yours, your scent and touch all around him, making his cock even harder if possible.
You smiled, biting your lip as you looked at him, your hands in his grey curls, tugging at them as your hips continued working, “Bedroom, now please,” You whimpered, Jack smiling as he nodded, wasting no time hoisting you up with one arm, biceps bulging as he did so, his other hand on your bare thigh as he caressed and grabbed at it, getting lost in your mouth as he navigated through your apartment like a man on a mission, moaning into his mouth as his belt buckle rubbed up against your wet cunt.
After what felt like forever, your back finally met your cool silk sheets, his knee sliding between your legs on instinct as he hovered over you, his hand reaching out for the pink stuffed bunny you had on your bed at all times, looking at it with a meticulous gaze, “Cute,” He commented before tossing it, shaking your head and getting all shy as you leaned up to kiss him again, swiftly turning you both over so you were on top, your hands fiddling with his shirt, “Off - want this off,” You murmured into his mouth, his tongue claiming yours before scoffing at your needy demeanour, “So demanding,” He chuckled, pulling his shirt over his head, your lips swollen and kiss bitten as you pulled away, rolling your hips again as you looked down at his shirtless frame, bottom lip wedged between your teeth as you stared.
“What?” He smiled, leaning up on his elbows, growing slightly self conscious. You giggled, your nails trailing over his pecs, leaning down to press a few kisses to the freckles scattered like constellations across his chest, playfully nipping at one of his pecs before sitting back up again, “You’re just really sexy,” You shrugged, smiling as you manoeuvred off of his lap to undo his belt, moving further down south to take off his prosthetic.
“You don’t have to,” He hummed, running a hand through his messy hair - he hadn’t been with anyone since his late wife, and the thought of a younger, beautiful woman being saddled with his issues had him feeling just the slightest bit insecure, and you could see that, with the way his brows furrowed - but you were quick to wash all those thoughts away as you shook your head, “I want to, so let me,” You smiled saccharine sweet, little demanding thing you were, as you pulled up his pant leg to gently remove it, pressing a kiss to his leg once it was off then removing his pants and underwear altogether.
Your eyes widened at the length of him, lips parted in want as you eyed his cock standing at attention, pussy gushing around nothing as you sat between his open legs, “Get up here,” he huffed, quickly wiggling out of your skirt before his hand reached for yours, tugging you back up and onto his lap, his bare cock bucking into your soaked white lace panties, your desperation growing more intense by the second. “Fuck you’re so beautiful,” He hummed, looking up at you with hazy eyes, smiling as you removed your top, tossing it aside as his hands slowly inched from your waist up toward your bare breasts, grabbing handfuls and eagerly squeezing at the flesh.
You whimpered at the feeling, calloused hands rough against your sensitive nipples, his index finger and thumb rolling the pert skin between them, tugging harshly at them, only serving to soak your panties even further. His other hand fisted through your hair, bringing you down to his lips, this kiss messy, portraying the want, no the need, you both had for one another, teeth and tongue clashing, saliva dripping down your chin. “This-“ He breathed heavily, panting into your mouth, the precum leaking from his tip allowing for your clothed pussy to glide along the length of his aching hard cock; “Is why, you don’t mess around with boys baby - they wouldn’t know what to do with all this but I do,” He smirked against your lips, his hands working deftly as they moved you down onto your back again, giggling as he kissed his way from your lips, down your jaw, along the column of your throat and down toward your naval, his right hand smoothing along your thigh, bringing it over his shoulder, your sex right in front of his face. “You still listening baby?” He huffed, his unoccupied hand slapping slightly against your clothed clit, pussy weeping in response. You nodded, thighs threatening to close around him but his broad shoulders prevented it, “Yeah Jack - always listenin’ to you,” You quivered, somehow feeling him smirk at your response.
“Y’got the prettiest pussy honey,” He hummed, clearing his throat as he placed a kiss to your thigh, then right over your clothed clit, the wet patch right over your entrance an indication of just how badly you needed this, how badly you needed him.
“This all for me mhm?” He hummed against your cunt, darting out to lick a stripe along your covered entrance, the friction of the lace against your clit and his nose nudging into it as he mouthed at your entrance, sending your mind into overdrive as he ate it over your panties, using his left hand to pull the fabric taught along your pussy from the waistband, the stimulation stealing the breath from your lungs.
“Fuck fuck fuck, yes! All for you, only for you,” You mumbled breathlessly, your hands fisting the sheets as he messily lapped at the wet patch on your panties, growing hungry for the real thing as he hazardously pulled your underwear aside, his tongue making contact with your bare clit now, stars shooting behind your eyes at the feeling of him sucking your sensitive pearl into his mouth. “Just the sweetest thing ever kid,” He hummed around his mouthful, a string of saliva connecting his lips to your raw pussy, his eyes on your writhing form, smiling in satisfaction before diving back in, all but making out with your sopping cunt.
Your thighs started shaking, back arching off of the bed as he continued eating you out like his life depended on it, his right hand still tentatively stroking your outer thigh whilst his left hand snaked back up to your breasts, flicking and pinching at your stiffened peaks, that coil in your belly snapping at the added stimulation, white hot shooting through your veins as you breathed rapidly, his tongue still massaging your folds as he worked you through your orgasm.
Your chest heaved, smiling as he lifted himself from between your legs, now hovering over you, one hand beside your head to keep him up, his head dipping down to kiss your forehead, your cheeks, your nose and then finally your mouth, the sweet moment halted by tasting yourself on his tongue, your arms rounding the back of his neck, bringing him in even closer if that was possible. “You still okay?” He hummed against your lips, pulling back to smooth your hair from your face, thumbing your cheek, “Better than okay,” You giggled, pecking his lips again.
“That’s real great - cause as much as I loved tastin’ her - want you to ride me honey, you think you can do that f’me?” He whispered, blown pupils boring into yours, almost enough to push you through your second orgasm of the night, his chin glistening with your essence.
And that’s exactly what you did, the feeling of him sliding into your spent pussy more euphoric than anything you could have ever imagined, your hands on his chest as you rode him, thighs burning as you moaned out like a bitch in heat, the sounds coming from your room bordering on pornographic - your neighbours would surely send in a noise complaint tomorrow.
“That’s it, you’re doing so good for me baby,” He huffed, his hands on your hips as he helped you, tears pricking at your waterline as the feeling was all too much, the tuft of hair at his base deliciously rubbing against your worn clit with each roll of your hips, his cock hitting that spongy spot that made your vision blurry and sent your pussy gushing, your head thrown back at the feeling.
“Can’t-it’s too much Jackie-can’t,” You cried out, Jack’s voice cooing as he hushed you, chest heaving as he panted, “Nah you’ve got this sweetheart, I know you do, c’mon just a little longer - you wanted this kid now you gotta take it like the good girl I know you are,” He murmured, his hand snaking to cup your cheek, tilting your head so you were looking back down at him again, hips still rolling even through the overstimulation.
Your eyes dragged up to find his, dopily smiling through the pleasure, “There she is,” He cockily spoke, his thumb dragging along your bottom lip, before sliding it into your hot mouth, your lips immediately wrapping around the digit, tongue sliding along the rough pad as you moaned around it, sucking his thumb as you would his cock, picking your pace up.
“Fuck,” He almost growled, the sight of you on top of him, in your own little world with his thumb between your plush lips, your breasts bouncing with each thrust up as his large cock bullied through your swollen pussy, the ‘shlick’, squelching sound coming from where your sex were connected sending him reeling, his breath heavy as he used his unoccupied hand on your hip to keep you bouncing.
“I’m close - you still with me honey?” He huffed out, searching your pleasure clouded eyes for an answer. You hummed around his thumb, nimble fingers wrapped around his wrist to keep him there, increasing your pace to push you both just over that edge, your breath caught in your throat.
That line snapped with the last buck of your hips, his left hand digging into the skin on your hip whilst his thumb stayed between your lips, unintentionally quietening your moans as you did so around his digit, eyes rolling to the back of your head as your thighs spasmed around him, body shaking. Jack felt woozy on his own, fucking whimpering as spurts of his hot cum painted your insides, coming down from his borderline bone chilling high, pulling his thumb from your lips and dragging it down till his right hand joined his left on your hips, manoeuvring you until you slid off of his softening length, placing you right on his bare stomach, urging you with a hum and a hand on the back of your neck now, to lay your head to his chest.
And you stayed there, head tucked under his chin, his hand stroking any patch of skin he could find, murmuring sweet nothings and solid promises to you, lulling your overexerted body to sleep.
And finally when you were, your eyes rested, breathing even and your arms wrapped loosely around his neck, the situation dawned on him - that picture of Robby flashing through his mind again, playing on his guilt - but that selfish part of him didn’t care - how could he when the sweetest girl was clinging to him, making him feel alive for the first time in a long while.
With a kiss to your forehead and a soft, “I love you,” against the sweat slicked skin there, he realised he didn’t care - you were worth everything and all of it, and he’d be dammed to let you go - Robby would just have to deal with it.
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summary: One glitchy tablet, one HR email, and suddenly you’re married to your attending, Jack Abbot. HR thinks it was intentional and has already started merging your records. Claim it was a mistake, and your residency could be delayed. With only three months left until you’re an attending, Jack agrees to play along. Pretending to be married might save your career—but can your heart survive the side effects?
⊹ ࣪ ˖ word count: 135k┊ongoing┊updates weekly (might be later if life happens...)
⤷ CHAPTER INDEX:
⚕one.┊two.┊three.┊four.┊five.┊six.┊seven.┊eight.┊nine.┊ten.┊eleven. ┊twelve.┊thirteen.┊fourteen.┊ fifteen. ┊ sixteen.┊seventeen.┊eighteen┊ nineteen ┊twenty ┊twenty one ┊twenty two
⤷ BLURBS INDEX:
⚕ long shift
⚕ halloween
⚕ the q-word
i'm not keeping a tag list for this series anymore. follow @s-writing-s-fics to get notified when i post a new chapter <33
summary: In an attempt to seduce a past hookup, you accidentally send your attending, Jack Abbot, a lewd photo.
tags/warnings: MDNI 18+, smut, oral (f receiving), piv sex, pussy eating, fingering, pussy slapping, jack abbot certified bush lover, overstimulation, implied age gap (reader is a resident), medical inaccuracies (peritoneal lavages are rarely used nowadays, but who cares), no use of y/n, trauma scene based on an episode of ER teehee.
wc: 9.5k
a/n: okay this is fully like two weeks late to the trend but it was inspired by that “you shaved your bush” tiktok trend lol. I genuinely do not know how this got so long, It was supposed to be a cute little fic but i got carried away, oopsies! I hope you enjoy <3
credits: gif credits to @ho-ii !!
It was Friday afternoon and you were desperately, achingly horny.
You’d tried your old faithful vibrator, which was doing the job fine, but you were desperate for some human connection. Your mind drifted through the mental rolodex of who you could call up for some casual fun. It was a short list, your demanding schedule not lending itself to a particularly vibrant social life. You’d only been on a handful of dates in the past year, most of which ended in disaster.
Alex was out of the running because of his unfortunate odor problem.
Sam was out due to a creepy doll collection he failed to disclose until you made your way to his apartment.
And Daniel was out because, frankly, he was terrible at sex, which is kind of a sticking point for you right now.
That left James, a guy you met on one of the apps and who was decent enough with his mouth that you’d seen him a handful of times. You didn’t hook up with him often, mostly because he was particular about your pubic hair. He preferred for it to be cleanly shaven, or at least heavily trimmed before he would consider going down on you.
So despite the fact that he wasn’t much good at fucking, you tended to go back to him when you needed a release. Yes, your standards were abysmally low, but the truth of the matter was that residency didn’t really give you any time to get out and meet new, better hook-ups. So James it was.
It had been a couple months since you’d hooked up, mostly due to this preference of his. Unfortunately, taking the time to take an ‘everything shower’ just to get your pussy eaten was a luxury that you were not often afforded due your residency schedule.
But today you’d had the time, energy, and desire to get devoured, so you hopped in the shower to take care of everything. By the time you emerged your hair was double cleansed, you’d applied a hair mask, exfoliated, shaved your legs, applied moisturizer and body oil, and–most importantly–your pussy was cleanly shaven.
You had a renewed pep in your step as you made your way over to your bed, ready to entice James. You maneuvered onto the bed and experimented with a few poses before landing on one that showed off your assets the best. You propped up your phone–timer set for 10 seconds–and you scrambled into position, perching back on your haunches and settling back on your feet, back arched a little uncomfortably.
You heard the shutter of the camera going off and quickly extricated yourself from the uncomfortable position. Looking over the image, you were very impressed.
The photo pictured your nude body from the chest down, beginning with the barest hint of the underside of your breasts showing, then the expanse of your stomach and curve of your hips. Lower, your fingers were on your pussy, parting your lips just enough to tease. It was a damn good nude, if you did say so yourself. James was lucky to receive it.
It had been so long since you texted him that instead of scrolling through endless scam messages and bill reminders, you just typed in the first few letters of his name to pull up his contact. As soon as you typed ‘ja’ it popped up, and you quickly began composing your message.
Gnawing at your thumbnail, you went back and forth on a few messages, trying to sound sexy, but playful. After five minutes of deliberation, you decided to just go with what you had. Honestly, it’s not like James was going to give it more than a second thought–if he wanted to fuck he wasn’t going to care about how sultry (or not) the message you sent him was.
You settled on:
you: shaved just for you. want something sweet to eat? ;)
You looked it over for a minute, nodding to yourself and hitting send before you could psych yourself out.
What a mistake.
Jack sat at the work station, mouth open and slackjawed, still staring at his phone screen.
Not at the photo anymore–no, that had been quickly swiped away–but the image was still burned into his retinas, the after image projecting onto the back of his eyelids when he closed them.
Why?
Because three minutes ago he received a text message from one of the day shift residents. He was concerned, initially, because there was little reason for day shift residents to contact him as opposed to Robby. Which is why Jack opened the message as soon as he saw it come in, thinking it might be an emergency, especially because it was you.
Instead, he was greeted with a sight he thought he’d never have the pleasure of seeing.
You, stretched back on your heels, breasts barely visible, pussy on full display for him. Your fingers held you open, your folds glistening in the late summer light that was streaming in, your pretty little clit in the center, just begging to be sucked. It was, quite possibly, the prettiest pussy he’d ever seen.
He couldn’t take his eyes off of the photo for a good 30 seconds, before the logical side of his brain kicked in and he remembered oh yeah, I’m at work and can’t be caught looking at my resident’s cunt.
He wasn’t unfamiliar with you, even though you’d only worked a handful of shifts together. But he saw you every morning at handoff, and you two shared warm smiles and easy jokes, your sardonic wit matching his bar for bar. He knew you were smart, able to hold your own in a trauma, and compassionate and empathetic underneath it all. And he couldn’t ignore the fact that you were gorgeous either.
And he would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought of you in this sort of light before, either. Jack Abbot was not a proud man–he could admit that on more than one occasion, he’d stood in his shower fisting his cock to the image of you on your knees for him.
It was especially bad when you did something impressive at work. Like the time you went toe-to-toe with a surgeon about whether a patient really needed surgery when you insisted that all they needed was a pericardiocentesis, and to prove your theory, you stuck the needle into the pericardium and extracted the fluid despite surgery’s objections. A ballsy move, one that would have been deeply problematic if you were wrong, but paid off. He’d had to rub one out in the bathroom that day. He apparently has a thing for competency.
“You’re gonna catch flies, Abbot,” Ellis said, walking out of an exam room, IPad tucked under her arm and smirk wide on her face. Jack shook himself out of his reverie, trying desperately not to think of your photo (but failing miserably).
He cleared his throat, “Sorry, what’ve you got for me?” he asked, still a bit dazed. Ellis looked at him skeptically–there wasn’t much that threw Dr. Jack Abbot–but proceeded to present her case anyway.
Once he approved her plan of treatment, Jack returned to his phone. He sat there for a long moment, contemplating what to do. You hadn’t said anything else, no frantic “I’m so sorry, that obviously wasn’t meant for you,” texts that explained the situation. Jack was positive it wasn’t intended for him, and he didn’t want to embarrass you more than you were sure to be.
His thumbs hovered over the keyboard, dancing nervously as he typed out his reply.
You started getting ready after sending the text, anticipating that James would want to meet up tonight. You did your hair, applied a bit of light make up, and threw on a cute little sundress.
It was about an hour later when you went to check your phone again, fully expecting to see a cheeky message from James inviting you over for some fun.
What you saw made your stomach drop instead. You felt dizzy, nausea washing over you in roiling waves. The text thread you were looking at was addressed to Jack Abbot, not James. And staring back at you was your nude body, followed by a response from Dr. Abbot.
Jack Abbot: I don’t think I’m the intended recipient for that photo.
Jack Abbot: But for what it's worth, a real man would eat it even if you didn’t shave. Would prefer it, actually.
Jack Abbot: Sorry, that was inappropriate. I’ve deleted this text thread, along with the photo. We can pretend this never happened.
There’s no fucking way. Absolutely not. There is no possible way that you accidentally sent a nude photo of yourself to your fucking attending. Not just any attending either, but the one you'd had a big fat stupid crush on for the better part of a year. The one you’d spent endless nights fantasizing about with your fingers plunged deep into your cunt, whose visage you’d pictured hovering over you, fucking you hard and deep; the name you accidentally moaned when James was eating you out the last time you hooked up.
Your mind refused to accept that this was reality, hoping against hope that this was some twisted fucking nightmare.
Shame welled up inside you, your cheeks hot from embarrassment and tears pricking at the corner of your eyes, mortification settling in earnest now. In addition to being humiliating, you also felt like a fucking creep. From his perspective, you just sent him a completely unsolicited nude photo.
Even more so, you hated that this probably killed any chance you had with him, even if that chance had been slim to none to begin with.
You paced your bedroom, thumbnail chewed raw as you tried to do damage control. What does one even say after they accidentally send a nude to their boss? After far too much deliberation, you decided to keep it simple, apologize, and crawl into your bed for the remainder of your two days off.
You: Dr. Abbot, I am so sorry about that!! I obviously didn’t mean to send that to you.
You: I meant to send it to a James and must not have looked closely enough before I sent it.
You: Thank you for deleting the photo, and I’m so sorry once again that you were subjected to seeing that.
You threw your phone as far away from you as possible, recklessly disregarding its safety despite the fact that you most certainly could not afford to repair said phone if it was damaged, and flopped onto the bed, screaming into a pillow. Your throat was raw by the time you surfaced for air, your body limp and exhausted, mind shuffling through worst case scenarios.
In the midst of your spiral, your brain drifted to the other part of his message: a real man would eat it even if you didn’t shave. That was, admittedly, inappropriate, but no more so than sending a nude to your superior, so you figured you were even. He probably just meant it to be supportive; to try and diffuse the awkward situation.
But another part of you wondered if he meant something else. If he was signalling to you that he would eat it, bush or not. The thought was indulgent, if not utterly preposterous. He was an attending; you were a resident. There was no way he’d meant anything by it. But you couldn’t help thinking…
Did he like the photo? Was he picturing you with a bush? Did he think about tasting you, about swirling his tongue around your clit or plunging it deep into you?
A notification dinged, shaking you out of your daydream, and you contemplated whether or not you actually wanted to see what he said, if anything at all. Curiosity eventually won out, hands grappling for your phone and swiping open the notification.
Jack Abbot: No worries. 👍
It was a completely normal response, which almost made it worse. Part of you wished he would lash out, call you disgusting or a whore, at least you’d know what to do with that. Shame or disgust were easier to digest than nonchalance.
You didn’t bother to send the photo to the correct person, your lust dampened, the fire doused with cold water, remnants pulverized to ash. Groaning, you burrowed into your bed with no intention of leaving for the next two days.
You had no idea how you were going to face him Monday.
You woke up two days later and ran through your options.
Flee the country and never return to Pittsburgh ever again (unrealistic, you’d devoted too much time to becoming a doctor, you weren’t giving up because of some catastrophically stupid mistake)
Arrive to work 20 minutes late, hopefully avoiding Jack Abbot by all costs (unlikely, the man worked more overtime than anyone except Robby. He was sure to still be there, and all you’d get was attendance point for your trouble)
Be a mature adult, apologize, and forget this ever happened, like he suggested (undoubtedly the best choice, but could you really ever forget that your attending has seen your pussy? And, a far sicker thought, did you want him to forget?)
Indecision weighed on you as you got ready, ultimately deciding on lucky number option 3. Your only saving grace was the fact that you were on day shift, and Abbot rarely worked days. The only interaction would be at handoff, and maybe if you could busied yourself enough getting a jump on patients, you could avoid him for as long as possible.
That was your plan of action as you walked into chairs, head down as you scanned into the ED and approached the nurses station. You didn’t hear his voice, which was a good sign; typically, you could hear it as soon as you entered, steady barking out orders over the hum of the department. You took a deep breath, steeling yourself and thinking for the first time since you sent that photo that things might be okay.
You spot Ellis at a work station, and beeline to her to get the handover started.
“Hey Ellis, how’d the night go? Any weird and wild cases?” you ask,
“Oh, you know, the usual,” she said, “foreign body extractions, a couple MIs, an insomniac who overdosed on benadryl and swore that the hat man was after him for money,” she laughed, shaking her head.
“To be fair, the hat man could be after him for money,” you said solemnly, face straight for a second before you burst out laughing.
Handover continued smoothly, Ellis updating you on which patients needed labs or imaging and which needed to be discharged. You almost made it through unscathed, your body turning to make your way to North 5 when you heard his voice calling to Ellis.
Your shoulders tensed–body betraying you by freezing in place–and he was next to you before you could scuttle away. Resting his forearms on the counter next to you, he continued talking to Ellis–about what, you couldn’t say, static filling your ears as you remembered what you’d done.
“Morning, Doc,” he said, startling you out of your daze.
“G-good morning, Dr. Abbot,” you stuttered, eyes glancing briefly at him before settling on his chin, unable to meet his eyes for more than a second.
He looked annoyingly normal, showing no sign that anything unseemly had occurred between you. You chanced another look at his eyes, the hazel orbs showing no hint of amusement or belittlement. But there was a look of acknowledgement, a steady one that should have reassured you that everything was okay, that you weren’t a laughingstock. The same look he’d give you in a trauma when things went sideways through no fault of your own.
And In any other situation, it would be reassuring. But right now, all it did was remind you that he’d seen your most sensitive parts, that he’d commented on the state of your pubic hair (or lack thereof). Heat bloomed in your cheeks, and your breath caught in your throat, eyes unable to breakaway from his gaze.
When you did manage to look away, it was, traitorously, to look down at his lips. They looked so soft, and for a split second you imagined yourself leaning in, capturing his lips with yours and kissing him into oblivion. You snapped back to reality half a second too late, seeing the edge of Abbot’s mouth turn up in the barest hint of a smile.
Clearing your throat, you quickly excused yourself to see a patient, all but running to the exam room. You managed to slow your breathing and compose yourself before you entered the room, squaring your shoulders and getting back to work.
This was going to be a lot harder than you anticipated.
Jack was being honest when he told you he deleted the text thread with that photo in it, a fact he was coming to regret as he laid in bed post-shift, body tired but too wired to relax and fall asleep. He’d committed the photo to memory, though, losing himself in it as he dragged his hand up and down his cock, thinking about how soft you’d be, how sweet you’d taste, the sounds he’d pull from you as he fucked you with his tongue. He’d fallen into this routine an embarrassing amount of times since he received that photo, feeling like a pervy, dirty old man all the while, but doing nothing to stop himself either.
His hand glided over his shaft once more, imagining that it was your warm, wet walls wrapped around him instead, and he was coming hard, painting his stomach with streaks of warm, wet goo. He sat there, breathing heavy, as a twitch of shame rolled over him. He shouldn’t be jerking it to the remembered image of a resident’s pussy, a woman at least 15 years younger than him, if not more.
But it was harder than he’d thought it would be to put that photo behind him. It was all he could think about as soon as he saw you that first morning, the image looping in an endless projection in his mind. It was completely unprofessional, and frankly dishonest. He’d told you that you could both pretend it had never happened, but he wasn’t so sure that was possible anymore.
And it was clear you hadn’t forgotten either. You were jumpy around him, the easy quips you used swap in the morning abandoned for stuttered greetings and awkward silences. He’d also caught you looking at his lips on more than one occasion and stealing glances at him when you thought he wasn’t paying attention. He wasn’t sure if it was true attraction, or just some morbid curiosity that was sparked by the unusual situation you two found yourselves in, but Jack wasn’t about to get his hopes up for the former.
As difficult as it was to keep his head on straight after seeing that photo, the more troubling part was that he’d lost the 10 to 15 minutes he spent every morning talking to you, a small ritual he looked forward to every shift. He hadn’t realized how much those moments meant to him until they were gone. Even the worst nights were magically better when he was able to make you laugh at handoff, your smile making his chest swell with pride and head fuzzy with feelings he had no business feeling.
Jack knew he had to do something to ease the tension, to get things back to normal. Or maybe a new normal, if he had anything to do with it.
The days passed in a similar fashion to that first day. Jack would greet you politely and attempt your typical banter, and you would awkwardly stutter out an adequate reply before making your escape as quickly as possible. You weren’t sure why you weren’t able to be a fucking adult and put it behind you, but you just couldn’t. Every time you thought you had the courage to revert back to your typical routine with Abbot, you chickened out almost immediately, bumbling your wall through some moronic excuse.
To make matters worse, you couldn’t stop thinking about him. It was worse than it ever had been before; what used to be an errant thought that would arise only in the throes of pleasure were now occurring during the most mundane tasks. You thought about what his full, silver curls would look like buried between your thighs while you were doing laundry; what his mouth would feel like on your breasts, teeth pulling at the pebbled skin of your nipples while you cooked dinner; how he would fuck you–would it be soft and slow, or hard and punishing?–while you cleaned the bathroom.
Your luck ran out about a month after the incident, as you were calling it. For the most part, you were able to keep your interactions with Abbot brief, albeit awkward. But today he was scheduled on day shift, covering for Al-Hashimi while she was home sick with her son. You’d only found out when you walked in, seeing his name on the board despite the fact that he was off last night.
You felt a wave of nausea wash over you; how were you supposed to go a whole day avoiding him? You managed pretty well for the first half of your shift, presenting exclusively to Robby, which wasn’t all that different from your normal routine. You avoided the traumas Abbot was running, hiding in exam rooms under the guise of checking vitals or reviewing scans. It was working fairly well until midday, when you were unfortunately in the vicinity of the ambulance bay when paramedics burst through.
“Santos, Mohan,” Abbot paused, eyes flitting over to where you stood before calling your name as well, “with me!” he said, already moving into the trauma room and gowning up. You reluctantly followed, slipping on your own trauma gown. He was behind you before you could secure your gown, fingers brushing against the nape of your neck as he tied the strings for you. It shouldn’t have sent a thrill down your spine, but it did. You stuttered out a thank you as you moved to assess the patient.
The paramedic was halfway through the bullet when you arrived at the bedside, hands moving to transfer them from the stretcher to the bed. “– multiple lacerations, bruises to the face, chest, and abdomen. Possible tib-fib and facial fracture.” You looked down at the patient, a teenage boy who couldn’t have been older than 15.
“BP’s low, 70 palp; pulse ox is 85,” Princess called out.
You slid the chestpiece of your stethoscope over the patient's chest, listening to the lungs. Unfortunately, your brain went blank when Abbot sidled up next to you, arm pressed tight against yours in the cramped trauma room.
“What do you think, Doc?” he asked, listening with his own stethoscope now.
You blinked, brain lagging as you tried to compose yourself; to try and save this boy’s life.
“Uh-um good breath sounds?” you said, a question more than an answer, though you were certain about the breath sounds. “Airway is patent, no tracheal deviation, no blood in the canal,” you finished, regaining a bit of confidence as you averted your gaze from his.
“Good,” he said, hand grasping your elbow and moving you down to the end of the bed. “What do we need to order?”
Santos, blessedly, answered before you could embarrass yourself further, “C-spine, chest and head CT.”
“BP is down to 60!”
“Alright people! What are we dealing with?” Abbot called out, eyebrow quirked at you.
Every differential evaporated from your mind. “He’s bleeding from somewhere,” was all you could come up with, though that was obvious. Instead of dwelling on that, you turned your attention to the boy, your eyes examining his body, searching for the source of bleeding. With Samira’s help you flipped the boy over, desperate to find a stab wound or gash, but coming up empty.
“Must be the belly,” Santos said.
“Alright, lavage kit please!” Abbot said, turning to you, “you ever done one of these?”
You shook your head.
“Well, today’s your lucky day, then,” he said, handing you an 11-blade.
Despite your best efforts, your hand shook as you pressed the blade against the skin.
“I-I can’t,” you whispered, low enough that only he could hear.
“You can,” he said, stepping behind you to steady your hand, guiding as you made the incision. He handed you the tubing next. “Make sure you’re into the peritoneum,” he whispered, lips right next to your ear. His hand was still on top of yours as you slid the tubing in, “I’m in, hook up the saline and extension tubing,” you said, breathing a sigh of relief.
Your relief was short-lived. The results of the lavage came back–negative. “Shit, nothing. It’s not the belly,” you said, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
“What the fuck? Where the hell is this kid bleeding from?” Abbot cursed, pacing around the bed to see if anything was forgotten. “You check his back?” he asked.
“Yes, nothing there. Maybe it’s a faulty blood pressure cuff?” you said, grasping at straws, but moving to flip the boy over and recheck his back again anyway.
Abbot was next to you, eyes raking over systematically to find the source when suddenly Mohan pointed out a tiny mark on the boy’s lower right side, “What is that?” she asked.
“That is a very small puncture wound. Probably an ice pick, if I had to guess,” Abbot answered.
Fuck. You should have caught that. You were standing right there, staring at the lower quadrant of the boy's back. You’d even seen the small mark, but dismissed it as a mole. You felt sick to your stomach, fear and shame welling up in you. You had never had a reaction like this in a trauma, not even on your first day as a med student.
Garcia burst through the door just as Abbot was getting the patient ready to head up to the O.R. “Puncture wound, probably hit the kidney or renal artery,” he said, passing off the patient. She nodded, taking over from there.
“Good pickup,” you congratulated Mohan weakly as you walked out of the trauma bay, hoping you could make it to the bathroom and wallow in self-pity for a few moments.
You heard him call your name shortly after you exited the trauma bay. Heart sinking, you turned to face him. “Yes, Dr. Abbot?” you asked, fidgeting with the hem of your scrub top. You weren’t sure you could handle being yelled at by him today. You’d never been one for tears at being reprimanded, but you could already feel the tell-tale prickling behind your eyes, and you were almost positive that the dam would burst at a harsh word from Abbot.
“A word, please?” he asked, gesturing you to the stairwell, the only place with a semblance of privacy in the ED. You sullenly followed after him, bracing yourself for impact.
You leaned back against the wall, fully expecting him to start yelling as soon as you were situated under the staircase, hidden well enough from passersby, but all you felt was a warm, heavy weight on your shoulder.
“You have to settle down, okay?” he said, one hand planted firmly on your shoulder and the other grasping your chin between his fingers to direct your gaze to his. “Look, I know what you sent me was embarrassing, and we probably should’ve talked about it, but you can’t get this worked up over it when I’m on shift as your attending. It can’t affect your work, you're too good of a doctor to let something like this throw you,” he said earnestly, eyes sincere when you looked into them.
You stood there, mouth opening and closing like a goldfish. Your mind still hadn’t fully caught up. “I… you didn’t bring me out here to yell at me?” you asked, voice coming out weaker than you intended it to.
He shook his head, confused, “What? No, of course not. I barely noticed that puncture wound myself,” he said, alleviating your anxiety somewhat.
“What I’m concerned about is how wound tight you are around me. I’m not saying you have to like me or anything, but you have to be comfortable working with me. You didn’t make an error in this trauma, but you could have. And I know it would eat you up if something like that happened,” he said, thumb gently sweeping over your chin.
“I can’t let you jeopardize your education because you’re embarrassed about mistakenly sending me a revealing photo. It would kill me if you didn’t reach your full potential because of something like that, if I had any part of it,” he shook his head, a pained look on his face.
Oh. You couldn’t breathe, your cheeks surely inflamed at this point. You were suddenly very aware of how close he’d gotten–and of his hand on your face. His fingers were warm against your face, skin rough, providing delicious friction as his hand repositioned, thumb stroking along your jaw as he subtly tilted your head back. He smelled like clean laundry and coffee, with a slight tang of antiseptic.
Your lips parted, ragged breaths falling from your lips.
“Dr. Abbot–”
“Jack. Call me Jack,” he murmured, so close that you could feel the heat radiating from his body. If you tipped your head up just a fraction, it would close the distance between you; would bring your lips flush together. Your eyes fluttered shut at the thought.
“Jack, I don’t know why I can’t stop thinking about that picture,” you admitted quietly.
“Can I tell you a secret?” he asked, tongue darting out to wet his lips, “I can’t stop thinking about it, either.”
“Really?” you looked up at him from under your eyelashes.
He nodded, moving impossibly closer, lips ghosting against yours. He hesitated briefly, a look of doubt flashing across his face before his gaze steadied–a decision made; a line ready to be crossed. His grip tightened against your jaw, “I can’t stop thinking about you spreading that pretty little pussy open, or about the prick who wanted you to shave before he’d think about going down on you,” he said, shaking his head in disgust.
“You know how many times I fucked my fist to the memory of that photo? How much I’ve thought about how you taste, what sounds you’d make when you cum?” he asked.
A strangled moan escaped your lips at his words. You’d never seen this side of Jack Abbot before, and it was intoxicating. “I-i think about you when I touch myself too,” you whimpered, your admission seeming tame compared to his vulgar words, but you wanted him to know you were also going crazy over him; that this wasn’t one-sided.
“Yeah, pretty girl? You think about me when you stuff that little cunt with your fingers? Wish it was my cock instead?” he asked, his other hand snaking down to your hip, fingers inching their way under your scrub top to caress the skin there.
You nodded, the proximity and dirty talk stealing your breath and leaving you unable to form an intelligible sentence.
“Did he eat your pussy, sugar? You got all dolled up for him, did he at least treat you right?” he asked, breath fanning over your lips, stubble just barely grazing your sensitive skin.
You shook your head, dazed. “I didn’t send it to him,” you said, a little bashful, “was too embarrassed after I sent it to you.”
He groaned, forehead falling against yours, “poor baby, put in all that effort and didn’t even get to cum, did you?” he asked, just the slightest bit condescending.
You let out a pathetic whine, shaking your head ‘no’ at his question. Heat pooled deep in your belly and you felt your panties quickly dampening.
He tsked, “we’ll have to rectify that,” he said, “You shave again? Or you let her grow back natural?” he asked.
You bit your lip, still a bit shy despite all the filthy words that he’d spoken in the last 5 minutes. “I’m au naturelle,” you whispered, a slight smirk tugging at your lips.
“Good fucking girl,” he growled before his mouth was on yours. His lips moved against yours with a ferocity you’d never experienced before. There was nothing uncertain about the kiss, his lips firm as he devoured you, tongue licking into your mouth and sliding against yours deliciously. One of your hands slid up the side of his neck to play with the curls at his nape while the other fisted in the fabric of his scrub top.
His spit tasted like the stale breakroom coffee and the spearmint of his gum, and you couldn’t get enough. You suckled at his tongue, trying to keep up with his relentless pace, but eventually let him take the reins and kiss you silly.
You were both panting when you pulled away, a string of spit drawn taut between your lips before snapping. Jack held your head between his hands, thumbs brushing softly over the apples of your cheeks.
“Talk with me. Tonight. Come have dinner or a drink with me, and we can talk about it all,” he said, a borderline pleading look on his face.
You nodded, still a little dumb from the kiss. “Yeah, yeah, sure. Okay,” you said, slowly extricating your hand from his scrub top.
He let you go with a final squeeze to your jaw, moving to re-enter the ED before you.
You stood there a moment longer, wiping your lips to get rid of your combined saliva and to lessen the kiss bitten look you were sure you were sporting before getting back to work.
The rest of the shift was painfully slow, the hours passing by like molasses. You couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss, the way his lips molded against yours like it was their rightful place. You did make a concentrated effort not to let it impact your work, though. Jack was right about that; nothing could come between you and finishing your residency.
It was just after 7:30 when you exited the hospital, and you immediately spotted Jack leaning against his truck waiting for you. You smiled as you approached him, nervous butterflies erupting in your stomach. Despite that breathtaking kiss, you still didn’t know where you stood. Was he just satisfying a sexual curiosity? Or was it possible that he also had feelings for you?
He cleared his throat, “So I was thinking we could order something to my place and talk there. Unless you want to go somewhere else, to a restaurant or your place,” he rambled, nerves undercutting his typically confident energy.
“Your place sounds good,” you nod, still a bit shy.
His hand was warm on the small of your back as he guided you to the passenger side, opening the door for you and helping you step up into the cab. The ride to his house was quiet, but not uncomfortably so. Some 90s alternative rock playlist hummed quietly in the background while you ordered pizza for the two of you–on his phone, with his card, he insisted. His hand rested lightly on your knee, the heat of his palm burning through the fabric of your scrubs.
You arrived at a beautifully manicured house in a suburb far enough from the city to be peacefully quiet. It’s different from what you pictured, you realize as you walk in. You assumed that a man who worked as much as he did wouldn’t have the time or energy to put into making a house a home; you pictured a sterile kitchen and minimalist fixtures, white walls with abstract art.
But it was homey. The walls were painted, photos scattered across them. The couch looked comfy, something picked out with intention, not the first option plucked from a furniture catalog. There were plants, beautiful, well taken care of ferns and pothos littered about. Warm light filtered through the kitchen, the island topped with butcher block and bracketed by two upholstered stools.
“Do you want anything to drink? Water, wine, beer?” he asked, opening the fridge and grabbing a beer for himself.
You focused your attention back on him, abandoning your pseudo-psychoanalysis of his house and drifting over to perch on a stool. “Wine would be nice,” you said, grateful for something to occupy your hands. He nods, pours you a modest glass of red–something French that probably costs ten times the amount of your shitty grocery store wine.
The pizza arrives soon thereafter, and you sit down at the island to eat. Conversation is easy, and you feel more at ease with him now than you ever had before, a drastic 180 from this morning. You talk about your day, life, post-residency plans; he lets loose a few embarrassing stories from his own residency days, one featuring a very unfortunate Robby being pantsed by a 6 year old in the middle of the ED. Eventually, though, plates are cleared and glasses are downed, a natural lull falling over the conversation.
“So,” he starts, head resting against his palm, arm propped up on the counter, “that photo…” He’s got that sly smirk on his face now, comfortable now to tease you about it.
You groan, burying your head in your arms. He laughed, “you don’t have to explain yourself, but I am curious what series of events led to me receiving that photo,” he said… “a series of events for which I am very thankful for, by the way.”
You turned, resting your head sideways on your arms, and started explaining all about James and his preferences, how he was your only real option for some skin-to-skin contact. Jack, for his part, listened quietly, offering little commentary until you finished your great tale.
“So you’re telling me that this kid can’t even fuck you right, yet he demands you shave before he’ll go down on you?” he asks, a horrified look on his face.
“Welcome to the joys of modern dating,” you joke, shooting him a halfhearted smile.
He shook his head, “unacceptable,” he said before hooking his leg around your stool and pulling you closer. You gasp, steadying yourself with a hand on his thigh as you fight not to topple onto him completely. He was close now, one hand coming up to rest on the hollow of your neck while the other slid up your top, thumb strumming over your ribs.
Jack didn’t hesitate this time. This kiss was different–no less searing, but a little more leisurely–like he wasn’t worried about scarcity anymore, confident that he had the time to take you apart and put you back together again before the night was over. His mouth was molten against yours, tongue delving deep in your mouth and swallowing up the steady stream of desperate whines escaping you.
The hand on your neck coasted upward, tangling in your hair and angling your head back to deepen the kiss. Your hands slid under his shirt, groaning as they came to rest on his tummy. He was warm, the muscle firm under your hands as you lightly scraped your nails over his flesh. His chest rumbled under your touch, the hand in your hair tightening, the twinge of pain a welcome contrast to the overwhelming pleasure of his lips against yours.
He barely broke the kiss to whisper into your mouth, “let me show you what its like to have a real man fuck you. Please, sugar,” he pulled away finally, resting his forehead against yours.
“Please fuck me, Jack,” you said, eyes hooded with lust. A moment later you were being scooped up from the stool and carried toward his bedroom. While Jack focused on not running into anything, you trailed open-mouthed kisses along the length of his neck, sucking the skin between your teeth before soothing it over with your tongue. You nipped gently at his adam’s apple, smiling when he yelped at the contact.
“You’re trouble, you know that?” he chuckled before dropping you down onto his bed, your body bouncing slightly before settling. He stood between your legs, face cradled between his meaty hands. “I want you to listen to me, okay?” he asked, waiting for you to nod before continuing, “I want to do so many filthy, obscene things to you tonight; want to fuck you into oblivion as many times as you’ll let me, but I want you to know that if you want to stop, at any point, you just say the word and we’re done. No questions asked. Understand?”
You nodded once more, but that was insufficient for Jack. “need you to use your big girl words, okay, pretty? Tell me you understand,” he said.
“I understand, Jack. If I want to stop, I’ll tell you,” you replied seriously, even though you knew there was no chance you’d want to stop.
“Good. Now, I want you to take off your scrubs, scoot up to the headboard, and get comfortable while I take care of my leg, okay?”
You did as he bade you, left only in a pair of pink cotton panties and bra. You hadn’t planned on being in this situation, but you were glad they were a matching set at the very least. Settling against his pillows, you watched as he shucked his pants off, the sleek metal of his prosthesis glinting in the low lamplight.
He sat down at the edge of the bed, fingers undoing the mechanism with practiced motions, twisting the appendage off and setting it to the side. The skin looked a little chapped, but not raw, which was a good sign.
“Is there anything I could do to make things more comfortable for you?” you asked. You wanted to make sure he knew you weren’t put off by his leg, wanted to make sure he didn’t feel like he had to overcompensate because of it.
“No, thank you, sugar. You’re doin’ plenty already,” he assured, turning around to face you. His eyes darkened as he took you in, his gaze hungrily raking over your newly exposed skin. He moved to hover over you, forearms braced next to your head as kisses you again, this time a sweet press of his lips against yours before he began trailing his mouth along your jaw and down your neck, laving hot kisses all across your neck and collarbone.
A gasp punches out of you when he sucks harshly at the spot just below the ear, the spot that turns your insides to putty. He grins against you, focusing his attention there until you’re a writhing, moaning mess under him. A hand reaches behind you to make quick work of your bra clasp, the flimsy material soon thrown across the room, forgotten immediately. His hands are on you in a flash, thumbs teasing along the underside of your tits.
Whining, you claw at his shirt, desperately wanting to feel his bare chest against your nipples, and he obliges, one-handedly throwing the thing off. The fine silver hair on his chest scrapes against you, your nails digging into his back as you pull him flush to you. Jack groans, hips involuntarily rutting against you, his hard cock a delicious pressure against your aching cunt. Your hips cant up, chasing the friction and grinding yourself against him.
“Careful, you keep doin’ that and this’ll be over before it even starts,” Jack warns, nipping at your bottom lip before continuing his maddening descent, mouth exploring your breasts–conveniently ignoring your painfully hard nipples. “Jaaaack,” you whine, thrusting your chest upward. He takes the hint, lips suctioning against a nipple and using his tongue to flick the pebbled flesh. Your hand fists in his curls, holding him there as his hand moves to tug at your other nipple. When he decides he’s given enough attention to one nipple, he switches sides, giving the other the same treatment. By the time he moves on, your tits are sure to be sore and red tomorrow, but you could not care less about that right now.
He kissed down your stomach, lips lingering at your navel before pulling back, eyes travelling down between your legs. “Fuck sweetheart, is all this just from me playin’ with your pretty tits?” he asked, eyes fixated on the wet spot on your panties. You whimper in response, mind too fuzzy to form words. His fingers skate over your waistband, your tummy contracting in anticipation. Ever so slowly, he drags your panties down your legs, discarding them over his shoulder as he settles between your legs.
His pupils were blown wide, utterly entranced by your pussy. The attention made you want to shrink in on yourself, your legs subconsciously moving to close, but his wide shoulders and firm grip on your thighs stopped you. “Fuck, sugar, this is what she looks like with some curls on ‘er? And you let some boy convince you she needed to be bald?” He shook his head, a genuinely pained look on his face.
He moved to spread you open for him, thumbs stroking up and down your lips as he took you in. Without warning, he surged forward, pressing a chase kiss against your clit before sitting back and continuing to admire your pussy. You squealed, hips twitching forward in search of more friction, the brief contact making you dizzy with need. It was slightly embarrassing, being watched like this, but you were growing impossibly wetter anyway.
Jack’s hands moved back to your thighs as you squirmed, grip tightening, fingers sinking into your soft flesh just enough to ache, and spread you further open. “Don’t hide from me, pretty girl,” he said, pressing hot kisses from your knee to your inner thigh, stopping right at the crease between your pussy and thigh, breath fanning over your puffy folds. Your clit was throbbing, your hips subtly shifting against nothing.
“‘m gonna show you just how pretty this pussy is, not gonna stop until you feel it,” he said, looking directly into your eyes, “you okay with that?”
No sooner had you nodded than he was on you. He didn’t waste any time, swiping the flat of his tongue through your folds from entrance to clit in one long stroke. His tongue was hot against your cunt, the muscle firm as it lapped hungrily at your folds, exploring every inch of you. He groaned, nuzzling his face deeper into your pussy. “Fuck, you taste better than I could have ever imagined,” he moaned, tongue dipping into your hole to collect the slick gathering there.
He didn’t surface for air, mouth working against you relentlessly; like he’d been deprived of something vital that had been restored to him, and he wasn’t about to let it go again. It was primal, almost animalistic the way he licked, sucked, and nipped at your cunt. Your back arched almost painfully off the bed, hands fisted in the sheets and moans slipping from your lips unbidden.
He alternated between circling your clit in tight little circles with the tip of his tongue, and suckling on it, lips wrapped snug around the bundle of nerves. Your body was hot, your legs trembling as the coil in your core wound tighter. One hand moved to grip his curls, the hair soft between your fingers as you tugged at it. He moaned into your pussy, the vibrations bringing you right to the edge.
“Fuck, right there, Jack,” you gasped, “I’m so close, so–”
“Cum for me, sugar, let me taste you,” he said quickly, head bowing back down to suck your clit harshly, teeth grazing it just the littlest bit.
And you did, white hot pleasure coursing through you, body contorting, legs squeezing his head between your thighs as you rode out your orgasm. You felt like a live wire, your nerves firing on all cylinders while Jack kept gentle pressure on your clit, drawing out your release as long as possible. Jack lapped up all your spend, not letting a drop go to waste. Boneless, you weakly pushed his head away, the overstimulation too much.
He sat back a fraction, face dripping with your juices and his saliva. There was a gleam in his eye as his thumb replaced his mouth, rubbing soft circles against your clit. A high-pitched whine escaped you, your sensitive nub begging for reprieve.
“You can give me another one, can’t you pretty girl?” he asked, voice brooking no argument.
“I d-don’t–fuck–I don’t know,” you blabbered, the painful overstimulation quickly giving way to pleasure, your hips canting forward against his thumb.
“I think you can,” he murmured, swiping a thick finger through your folds before sinking it in and curling lazily against that sweet spot on your front wall. “Fuck, Jack, feels so good,” you moaned, moving you hips in time with his finger. Before you knew it he was adding another finger, a slight sting accompanying the stretch. All you could do was whimper, his fingers switching between slow and deep, and fast and hard strokes.
Your second orgasm hit you without warning, pleasure reverberating through your body from the top of your head to the soles of your feet, your toes curling as you came harder than you ever had in your life. Jack’s fingers kept moving, wringing every last after shock from your body. You were panting now, trying to catch your breath but failing miserably.
And yet, Jack’s fingers were still moving, scissoring you open now. It was too much, the sensations bordered more on pain than pleasure. “I can’t–can’t do a-another one like this,” you stuttered out.
Jack looked at you, a wicked grin spreading across his face. “Tell me you have the prettiest pussy,” he said, fingers slowing a fraction as he waited for you to answer, gaze leveled directly at you.
You whined, face heating at the order, “J-Jack, please, just wanna cum on your cock,” you said, hoping it would break his resolve.
“I’ll fuck you as soon as you say it, sugar. Say you have the prettiest pussy.”
You squirmed, cheeks hot as you whimpered, “I can’t–I’m not–” was all you managed to get out before a sharp slap landed on your pussy. You gasped, the pain shocking but not unwelcome.
“If you want to cum on my cock, you have to be a good girl,” he said, face severe as he continued curling his fingers against your sweet spot. “and good girls do what they’re told. So, I want you to say, ‘Jack, I have the prettiest, sweetest pussy’ okay? Can you do that for me, pretty girl?” he asked, thumb circling your clit.
You huffed, trying to catch your breath. “Ja-aack, fuck, I-I have, hng, I have the p-prettiest, sweet–ah–sweetest pussy,” you stammered out.
“Knew you could do it for me,” he praised, fingers leaving your cunt to pull off his boxers. His cock sprang out, curving slightly and resting against his abdomen. It stole the breath from your lungs–It was obnoxiously thick and decently lengthy, tip flushed red and leaking precum steadily. Your hand reached out to feel him, maybe jerk him off a little before he fucked you, but Jack stopped you, pinning your wrist down on the bed. You whined, lip jutting out in a not-so-faux pout.
“I’m trying not to cum in 5 seconds like a teenager, sugar, and if you put your soft hands on me right now I’m not gonna be able to last,” he said, reaching over to his bedside table to grab a condom. He stroked his cock a few times before rolling the condom on and lining himself up with your entrance, neither one of you interested in teasing anymore.
He eased the tip in, your walls fluttering around him to accommodate his girth. Your legs spread open wider for him as he settled between your hips, pushing the rest of his length in slowly until he was flush against your hips, his pelvic bone rubbing your clit just right. The stretch was intense, your walls fluttering and clenching harshly at the intrusion. Your hips wiggled slightly, trying to get used to the twinge of pain from the sheer size of him.
Jack hovered over you, one arm resting next to your head while the other gripped your hip tight. His face was twisted, almost painful looking. “You gotta relax for me, sugar, you’re gripping me like a fuckin’ vise,” he grit out, head falling into the crook of your neck, placing chaste kisses there, trying to loosen you up. You tried, willing your muscles to relax around him.
A few moments passed before Jack was able to move, pulling out to the tip before thrusting back in harshly, setting a brutal pace. You moaned, Jack’s hips snapping hard against you, cock dragging through your walls exquisitely. You tried to keep up with his pace, your hips meeting each thrust, cunt greedily sucking him back in each time.
Your back was arched, hair splayed out across the pillow as you took what Jack gave you.
“So pretty for me, sweetheart,” he said, sitting back on his haunches, “my perfect little pussy.” He grabbed at your thighs, pushing them up toward your chest, knees nearly at your ears. The new angle forced him deeper than before, his thrusts fucking you into the mattress. You were entranced by the view of him fucking you, curls dripping and chest glistening with sweat as he pounded into your pussy.
The room sounded obscene between the slapping skin, your combined moans, and your squelching cunt. Moans were falling from your lips at a near constant rate, and Jack was louder than you’d expected, throaty groans and grunts reverberating like music to your ears.
You’re honestly not sure you’ve ever come more than twice in a night, but it didn’t take as long as you thought for your third orgasm to build, the waves cresting fast. The only thing you could think about was Jack’s cock hammering into your pussy.
“I think I’m gonna, gonna cum again,” you breathed, “don’t stop, Jack, pleasepleasepleasepleeeeeeease,” you keened.
Jack’s hand found your jaw, tilting your face up to kiss him sloppily, “cum for me, baby, let me feel you milk my cock,” he said, thrusts growing more uncoordinated as he neared his orgasm.
It only took a few more deep, punishing trusts before you were coming undone around his cock. You held eye contact with Jack as your orgasm washed over you, your mouth parted wide, tears gathering at the corners of your eyes at the overwhelming sensations. You felt so full, your walls pulsing mercilessly around him.
Jack gripped your hips in both hands, his trusts faster and harder than before as he chased his release. “wanna feel you cum in me Jack,” you croaked, throat raw, hands reaching out to paw at any skin you could.
Jack groaned, hips stuttering a few more times before thrusting deep into you once last time and cumming. He ground his hips into yours, milking every last drop from his cock. You felt the warmth of his cum through the condom, your cunt clenching again at the feeling, your mind already flashing forward to imagine him fucking you raw–you let about another garbled moan at the thought.
Spent, Jack collapsed into you, cock softening inside your still pulsing cunt. His weight on top of you was comforting, grounding you back to earth. You were content to lay there, coming down and catching your breath.
Eventually Jack rolled off of you, disposing of the condom and grabbing a few wet wipes from his nightstand to clean you both up.
He pulled you against his side, big hand petting your hair, “You okay, sugar? Was that too much?” he asked, voice hoarse.
“no, was so good, Jackie,” you mumbled, feeling floaty and sated.
“Good,” he whispered, pressing soft kisses onto your hairline.
You sat in comfortable silence for a while, head resting on his bare chest, his heartbeat a comforting thrum in your ear. One large hand ran up and down the smooth expanse of your back while the other held your hand against his chest, fingers intertwined together.
“I hope you know this isn’t just a one time thing,” he said suddenly, his arm tightening its hold around you.
“No?” you asked, trying to keep the hopeful edge out of your voice.
“Uh-uh, you’re mine,” he says possessively, hand snaking down to cup your sensitive mound, “this is my pussy now.”
You want to be offended, want to point out that you’re more than your cunt. But you know Jack knows that, and more than anything your head grows warm and fuzzy at the thought of being someone’s. Of being Jack’s.
“Yeah, ‘s all yours, Jackie,” you mumble, falling asleep against the gentle rise and fall of his chest, happier than you’ve been in a long time.
a/n: whew that was a lot!! thank you if you made it all the way through!!
i want to be sexy to someone
is it too much to ask?
sexy to somebody, it would help me out
– sexy to someone, Clairo
summary: you finally put yourself back out there and set up a date for your night off. to your utter humiliation, you get stood up. the night takes a turn when you see your attending, Jack Abbot, who suggests you have dinner together since you're already all dressed up.
tags/warnings: age gap (reader is a resident), oral (f + m receiving), dacryphilia, protected piv sex, dry humping, crybaby!reader, idiots in love, ER references because I can't help myself :), the tiniest hint of puppy play, discussions of jack's amputation,
wc: 10k
a/n: I'm realizing that I have a tendency to write about jack abbot saving reader from mediocre and shitty men... and you know what he would!!!! genuinely thought this would be a cute lil 5k fic and then... oh well!! being short-winded is not my thing lol
credits: gif credits to @wesandresons
8:21.
You checked your phone for the millionth time.
You were supposed to meet him at the restaurant at 7pm, and he was almost an hour and a half late.
Well, you hoped he was late. You hadn’t yet accepted the probable fact that you’d been stood up. I mean, you were no stranger to chaotic schedules, unplanned overtime, and last minute catastrophes that had to be dealt with. Residency often rendered your social life moot; you could barely keep up with your commitments at the hospital, let alone a vibrant dating life. Maybe he had an equally demanding job; maybe there was a plausible excuse for why he left you stranded in this Italian restaurant without the decency of a “sorry, not interested anymore” text.
You looked at your phone again–8:26. Okay, you’d give him 4 more minutes before you decide to pack it up. You try to subtly survey the restaurant for any sign of him, but are met only with the pitying looks of the waitstaff, who would, in all likelihood, be the only ones benefitting from this humiliation ritual. The hostess checked in with you at the bar regularly, the bartender had given you a glass of merlot on the house, and a very kind server brought you a charcuterie board to nibble on–had even brought you extra olives when you commented on how they were your favorite. They were all getting fat tips–or at least as fat as you could afford.
8:31. Despite your best efforts you felt tears pricking at the corners of your eyes and your throat got that tight, achy feeling that precedes a sob. You felt so foolish.
You looked up at the ceiling, blinking the tears away and tried to even out your breathing.
You didn’t even want to go on this date. You’d all but sworn off of dating, the ROI not worth the emotional whiplash you were subjected to more often than not. It was becoming harder and harder as you got older to open up to people, expose your vulnerabilities and greatest fears, only to have them spit back in your face when things didn’t go their way.
So you stopped with the apps, stopped the meaningless dates that were nothing more than a hookup vehicle for most. But your friends had convinced you that you needed to get back out there, that things would be better in Pittsburgh–the proverbial ocean filled with different, better fish than your hometown. And perhaps they were tired of hearing you wax poetic about the hazel-eyed night shift attending that you had no chance with.
But you did want to find that person. As much as you were an independent, capable woman–doctor, even–the truth was you were lonely. Your days consisted of going to work, where you spent 12+ hours caring for Pittsburgh’s sickest, and coming home to microwave whatever sad frozen meal you had in your freezer. Sometimes you had the energy to join some of the night shift for post-shift breakfast, but that was about it.
You wanted someone to share your life with, to ask about your day or if you’ve eaten. Someone who knew that your favorite flower was lily of the valley, but since they were too expensive you would settle for a bouquet of peonies; that you loved horror movies even though they scared the daylights out of you; that knew you loved olives but hated pickles. Someone who knew you, inside and out.
There was a chasm in your chest that ached, that yearned for someone to take care of you–not financially, though you wouldn’t be opposed to that–but emotionally. To tell you that you were good, worthy, that you weren’t too much or too clingy. That wanted you as much as you wanted them. That felt the tension leave their shoulders when they looked at you, because you just being there made things better.
Was that too much to ask for?
It’d been so long since someone had even flirted with you, and even longer since you’d hooked up with anybody. Your dry spell was bordering on sahara levels of arid. Hell, at this point, you think you’d cum for the next guy who called you pretty.
You shake yourself out of your pity party, dabbing your eyes with a napkin and gathering up the courage to ask for the bill, when you hear someone calling your name. Great. You’re halfway to a breakdown over some stupid guy who stood you up, and now you would have to sit through pleasantries with someone when you desperately wanted to go home and cry into a bottle of wine.
You turned, fake smile plastered on your face.
The person you least expect to see is the aforementioned hazel-eyed attending. He’s standing by the hostess stand, off to the side, dressed in dark blue jeans and a tight black shirt. It was unfair, really, how good the man could look in the most basic outfit. His shirt was pulled taut across his chest, muscles straining against the fabric and outlining the planes of his pecs. His hands were tucked into his pockets, his strong, freckled arms on display, and sinful thoughts ran through your head at how those arms would feel around you.
You smiled and waved at him, reluctantly making your way over. It’s not like you can avoid him at this point, though these are less than ideal circumstances to meet him outside of work.
“Small world,” he joked as you approached, a soft smile gracing his features.
“I guess so,” you said sullenly, not up to your usual banter.
“Big plans for the night?” he asked, eyes skating over your form, taking in the pretty red dress you’d donned for the evening, the light coat of makeup you applied, the hairstyle you wrangled your locks into. In any other scenario, you’d be preening under his watchful eye, giddy that he was eyeing you up and down.
Now, though, you wilted under the attention. The humiliation from the night and the tingly feeling pooling in your gut at his gaze swirled together in some rancid amalgamation of emotions. You didn’t know if you wanted to laugh or cry or both, but ideally not in front of him.
Your silence, apparently, concerned him. He looked at you seriously now, his eyes getting that clinical, assessing look in them as he took you in, “You okay?” he asked, genuine concern lacing his features.
It was the one question you did not want to be asked. Because, for some reason, you could keep it all inside, bury the feelings as deep as they’d go, as long as someone didn’t ask if you were okay. The barest expression of concern had your lip trembling, throat tight as you managed to squeak out a meek, “I’m fine!”
You could feel a tear tracing down your cheek, and you wiped it away furiously. Your eyes focused on a spot over his shoulder, unable to bear the pitying look that was undoubtedly on his face.
“You don’t look fine,” he said softly, hand coming up to rest lightly on your upper arm.
You shook your head, powerless to staunch the flow of tears now running down your face. “Sorry, I just, uh, I had a date tonight and he didn’t show, so,” you made a helpless gesture, your shoulders shrugging in feigned nonchalance. You felt ridiculous, crying over being stood up in front of your attending who was just trying to make small talk with you.
You let out a garbled laugh, “Shit, sorry,” you hiccup, “this isn’t your problem, I don’t wanna interrupt your night any more than I already have. Have a good night,” you said, moving to push past him and scurry out the door.
He grabbed your wrist, his grip firm but gentle, his body blocking your exit.
“You’re not interrupting. I was just about to place a to-go order,” he said, a hesitant look crossing his face before he continued, “But, uh… would you like to have dinner with me instead?”
You're taken aback. It’s the last thing you expected him to ask you. I mean, it’s not like you haven’t thought about him in this context. On the contrary, Jack Abbot had been the subject of many a ‘boyfriend’ dream over the past year you’d worked with him. He was kind and generous and funny, his humor as dark as yours. He was steady in the face of chaos, a lighthouse in the foggiest of days–a man you could depend on when shit hit the fan. It’s part of the reason you switched to nights. You always felt calmer in his presence, more assured of your capabilities because he believed in you.
And he was undeniably gorgeous–his fine wrinkles and graying curls set your body ablaze each time you looked at him, your panties soaking through in record time. You loved especially when he went a day or two longer without shaving, his scruffy cheeks looking like a delectable place to sit.
Your mind was plagued by obscene fantasies of him, the sinful images assaulting you at the most inopportune times. You knew he’d treat you right, wouldn’t prioritize his pleasure over yours. He was older, experienced, not a kid fumbling around in the dark, searching for your most sensitive spots and coming up empty. You imagined the way his stubble would feel on your skin, his jaw scraping down your neck as he pressed kisses there, moving lower and lower until he was nestled between your thighs, mouth hot against your aching pussy. The way he would stretch you out and fill you up, have you desperate and begging for more.
You’re snapped out of your lustful daydream when he says your name, an inquiring tone meant to prompt a response. Oh right, he asked you a question.
You shook your head, not because you didn’t want to have dinner with him, but because you didn’t want to do so under these conditions; you didn’t want to be a charity case.
“That’s very kind, but you don’t have to have a pity dinner with me. I’m a big girl, I can handle a little rejection.”
“It wouldn’t be a pity dinner,” he shook his head immediately, “come on, you got all dressed up, let me at least buy you dinner for your trouble.”
He cleared his throat, “Unless you really don’t want to, obviously, and I’ll let it go,” he said, “but I’d hate to see you go home cryin’.” And he looked so sincere, his pretty eyes so soft and squishy, all but pleading for you to accept his offer.
You chewed on your lip, considering it. It wouldn’t be the worst way to spend your night. As of now your plans for the rest of the night were getting sadder by the moment. Things could only go up from here, you supposed. “Yeah, okay. If you’re sure,” you nodded.
“I’m positive,” he said, hand coming up to rest on the small of your back, guiding you back up to the hostess stand. “Table for two, please.”
The two of you were sat at a corner booth near the back of the restaurant, the section secluded and not too loud. It was a classic Italian restaurant–warm, dim lighting illuminated the space from antique sconces on the wall, the walls were a beautiful exposed red brick, and the tables were candlelit and laid with red and white checkered cloths. The leather of the booth was soft but worn, the cracks spidering out and indenting into the back of your thighs a sign of how well loved this place was.
The booth forced you close together, your thighs not quite touching each other, but close enough to feel the heat radiating off him. His scent is intoxicating, all warm amber and oud, mixed with a hint of citrus and his natural musk. It took all your power not to burrow your nose into his neck and inhale deeply.
You were lucky to have the same waitress that checked on you at the bar, though you did have to assure her that this was not the man who stood you up. You were honestly a little concerned at the death glare she gave him at first–a true girls girl.
“So, Dr. Abbot, how was your day off?” you asked, fiddling nervously with the hem of your dress. Despite your easy rapport at work, it felt awkward to be sitting here with your attending, especially when you were desperately trying to keep your feelings for him at bay.
“Oh it was fine, picked up a shift with the SWAT unit and didn’t get shot at, so, you know, all things considered,” he said, then waved his hand dismissively, “and please, call me Jack. We're not at work,” a slight blush spreading across his cheeks.
“Okay, Jack,” you laughed, the tension easing a bit as you threw formalities out the window.
“I would ask you how your day off was, but I think I have a pretty good idea,” he said with a teasing lilt.
“Yeah, not my best moment. This is partially why I stopped dating, I hate getting my hopes up,” you said, a little more vulnerable than you intended but you supposed you were past that now.
“If it makes you feel any better, I think whatever man decided to let you slip through their fingers is a fuckin’ idiot.”
You sputtered a bit at that, your cheeks heating up. It was a kind platitude, and you wished that it made you feel better, but it did little to alleviate the pit in your stomach that made you feel small; that screamed that you weren’t good enough.
“But enough about that asshole. Do you want to order an appetizer?” he asked, scanning the menu.
“Oh no, I’m okay, thank you.”
“You sure? My treat, remember, don’t worry about prices.” he looked up, concerned.
“I’m fine, really,” you bit your cheek, reluctant to spit it out, “our waitress may or may not have given me a pity charcuterie board at the bar.”
His face was still for a moment before you saw the edge of his mouth betray him, quirking up in a suppressed smile.
“Don’t you dare laugh,” you warned, your own resolve already breaking as you took in how pathetic the situation actually was. “It’s not funny!” you laughed, smacking him lightly on the shoulder with the menu.
“No, no, definitely not,” he intoned, a look of mock-seriousness on his face before he broke out into a laugh, “I’m sorry! But it is objectively a little funny,” he hedged, hands held out defensively to block another menu attack.
“It is not! It means that the poor waitress had to go talk to her boss and ask if they could comp an appetizer for the miserable sad sack at the bar!”
“She probably didn’t call you a miserable sad sack. Maybe sad puppy dog girl, but not miserable sad sack,” he teased.
You gasped exaggeratedly, “I am not a sad puppy dog girl!”
“Oh yes you are. It’s the eyes. And the general obedient demeanor," he smirked.
Oh. Your tummy twisted at that, but you quickly filed it under things that I simply do not have enough time to unpack right now.
“You’re mean,” you pouted, lip jutting out and arms crossed. You weren’t really upset, but it felt fun to play it up a little bit.
“Aww,” he pouted back at you, his tone just a tad condescending, “let me make it up to you. What do you say to some good wine and garlic knots?”
You gnawed on your lip, considering his offer, “what the hell, let's do it. It’s not like I’m going to be kissing anybody tonight anyway,” you said, a little bitter, before realizing that was probably not an appropriate joke to make in front of your boss.
“You never know, we could always pull a Lady and the Tramp,” he joked, not looking up from the wine menu.
You were a little stunned at that. Was he… flirting? No. Definitely not. This was a strictly platonic date. Right? I mean, the puppy comment you could explain away, but this… this was different, wasn’t it? Who just jokes like that about the most romantic canine kiss in history? A joke, you settled on. Because you’d already gotten your hopes up enough for one night.
Dinner was nice. Really nice.
Conversation flowed freely, starting out in neutral territory with updates about patients, work gossip, whatever the fuck was going on with Robby. But you soon moved out of the work realm and into personal matters. You told him about your childhood–where you grew up, your favorite childhood pets, how much trouble you got into as a teen.
And you learned a lot about Jack. That he came from a military family that moved around a lot, but spent a large chunk of time in North Carolina. He had two sisters, both older than him. One stayed in North Carolina and the other lived in West Virginia. Both married to military men, and both notorious for giving Jack shit about everything. But they were his rocks when he lost his leg, and then again when he lost his wife, and he was endlessly grateful for them.
You both loved 90s alternative rock, which surprised you because you took Jack to be more of a classic rock fan, to which he merely glared at you and said that he wasn’t that old. You both had childhood crushes on Winona Ryder; his borne from her role in Heathers, and yours from Girl, Interrupted. He surprised you with the fact that he was a good cook, a fact that seemed unfathomable to you based on his general vibe.
Now, though, you’d moved to med school stories, and Jack was regaling you with stories about him and Robby back in the day.
“We must have been… god, I must have been a third year med student, and Robby was… an R2? and he had really pissed me off that night. I don’t even remember what he did, I just remember being so annoyed at him,” he laughed, shaking his head at the memory, “It was a quiet night, so he snuck off to the on-call room to catch a few hours of sleep, leaving me to do all the scut. So, I recruited the help of the charge nurse, Carol, and our attending, Mark, and we applied a cast to his right leg while he was knocked out.”
He’s cackling now, almost unable to finish his story between wheezing gasps of air, “we paged him, like, 10 times until he answered, and next thing we know he’s bursting out of the on-call room and onto his ass before he even realized what happened!”
You’re laughing hard now, too, trying to picture a younger version of Robby gracelessly tripping over an unnecessary leg cast in his hurry to answer his page. It sounded so unlike the self-assured, stoic version you knew him to be.
“Oh my god,” you wheezed, “how mad was he?”
“Oh he was pissed. Not because of the cast, but because 5 minutes after we paged him, a 15-car pile up came in and he got benched until he could get the cast off. He had to wait for it to dry before he could saw it off, and the whole time he just sat there glaring at me.”
“Did he get you back?” you asked, hungry for more crumbs of their life before you, before the Pitt as it was now.
“Yeah,” he rolled his eyes, “the fucker taped nails to his shirt, took an x-ray, and switched out the real film for the fake before I noticed. I was freaking out to Mark, yelling about how this patient needed surgery before they perfed. Meanwhile Mark was in on it, and made me feel crazy when he pulled out the perfectly normal x-ray for my patient. He said, ‘I don’t know what they’re teaching you in school these days, but this looks like a perfectly normal x-ray,’” he said, in an impersonation you could only assume was Mark.
“That’s fucking crazy,” you giggled, “can you imagine someone doing something like that in the Pitt? I think Robby’d actually have an aneurysm.”
“Yeah, the old man’s lost a bit of his whimsy over the years,” he shook his head.
“Old man, huh? Those are fighting words from a man merely 3 years younger than him,” you teased, “and much grayer,” you added with a wink.
“Watch it, missy,” he warned, then, quieter, “not too old to teach you some manners.”
Feeling emboldened by the wine, you leaned a little closer, “don’t make promises you can’t keep.” Tracing the rim of your wine glass, you looked up at him. You swear his eyes drifted to your lips, but before you could do anything about it, he cleared his throat, steering the conversation back into safer waters.
“So, why did you get into emergency medicine?”
You thought about it for a moment, considering how honest you wanted to be. “I wanted to meet people where they were at, help them in a real, immediate way. The traumas are great and exciting, and there’s nothing like making a pickup that saves someone’s life. But I like the less exciting stuff, too. The mundane care that doesn’t save a life, but makes someone feel better. Helps them get over a cold, or helps soothe a burn; suturing up a lac, or removing foreign objects from patients and not making them feel worse about their predicament. That stuff is just as important as the traumas.
Especially with how fucked healthcare is in this country, people come to us when they’re at their most vulnerable, and usually don’t want to be there. I just hope that I can make things less scary for patients when they come in, make sure they feel like they’re cared about and not being judged for coming to us.”
It’d been a long time since you’d answered that question honestly. Usually, you had your stock answer that you pulled out, which was a more eloquent version of “I want to save lives!” And that was still true, but there was so much more to working in the emergency department than just saving lives. It was paperwork and insurance and bed shortages and nursing shortages and all the other fucked up shit in the world that inevitably contributed to the cases you saw come through the doors at the Pitt.
“What about you? Was emergency medicine always it for you, or did you ever consider going into something else?” you asked.
He shook his head, “Not seriously, no. Considered switching to critical care after my leg. I wasn’t sure if I was cut out for the hustle and bustle of the emergency room after that. But it was the only place I wanted to be, so I figured it out, did what I needed to do to get back to where I was before the accident.”
“Well, for what it's worth, I’m glad you stuck with EM. I couldn’t imagine working at the Pitt without you. I don’t think I’d be half the doctor I am without you,” you said, looking up at him.
You hadn’t realized how close you’d gotten, his arm slung over the back of the booth and your thighs pressed against each other.
“Don’t sell yourself short, you’d be amazing with or without me,” he said, tucking an errant strand of hair behind your ear. “You know, I’ve taught a lot of residents in my years, and you… you’re really cut out for this. Not everyone is.”
The praise made you preen, the proximity of his hand to your face doing nothing to calm your rapidly beating heart. For a brief moment, you think he might lean in, might press those pillowy pink lips to yours, kiss you until you can’t think stra–
“Hi, sorry to interrupt but we’ll be closing in 15 minutes. Here’s your check when you’re ready,” the waitress said, setting the check down and scurrying away.
You checked the time on your phone: 11:15. Did you really spend almost 3 hours talking to Jack? It certainly didn’t feel like it.
“I guess we should get out of here before they kick us out,” Jack said, sliding out of the booth and offering you his hand.
You’re giggling at another one of Jack’s jokes as you leave the restaurant, the bill graciously paid by him despite your best efforts to split it. Your limbs were loose from the wine, goosebumps springing up on your arms from the early summer air turned chilly.
“Thank you for dinner. You salvaged an otherwise shitty night,” you laughed.
“It was no problem, really. I had a nice time,” he said, leaning against the brick wall, arms crossed.
You mirrored him, shoulder scraping against the gritty brick, and looked up at him.
“Hold on, I think you have a little sauce on your face,” he said, and before you could grab a tissue from your purse, he reached out. His thumb gathered the sauce at the corner of your lips, going further to brush the pad of it across your bottom lip. The movement dragged your lower lip down slightly, your mouth parting involuntarily with it. You’re not sure why, but your tongue darted out, licked the pad of his thumb and the residual sauce.
Jack’s breath hitched, the sharp intake of air the only thing you could hear despite the sounds of car alarms and drunk party girls on a Friday night in downtown Pittsburgh.
You looked up at him, tongue still pressed flat against his thumb, and searched his eyes for a sign that the heat building between you is mutual.
Fuck it, you decided.
Without thinking about it too much, you leaned up and pressed your lips against his. And god, did they feel nice. They were soft, but firm, and he tasted faintly of the wine you’d shared earlier mixed with the slight acidity of the tomato sauce from his dinner. Your hand tangled in the curls at the base of his neck, and they’re so soft, but also a little stiff. You wondered, briefly, if he uses mousse, or hairspray, or if he’s got a whole curly girl routine down before realizing that oh my god he wasn’t kissing you back. Oh no, oh fuck.
How did you misread this situation so horrifically? You thought you were getting all the right signals, thought that he liked being with you, that he was flirting with you. But maybe it really was just a courtesy, a pity dinner.
Your cheeks are hot when you pull away from him, shame sitting thick and heavy in your stomach, numbness prickling up your arms in staticky goosebumps. And Jack is just standing there, the dumbfounded look on his face doing nothing to assuage your embarrassment.
You backed up, trying to create some distance, to lower the temperature between you that apparently only you felt.
Looking down at your shoes, unable to make eye contact, you babbled out, “I-I’m so sorry, that was completely inappropriate and I don’t know why I-” your voice cracked and it felt like your lungs weren’t properly inflating with oxygen, “I don’t know how I misread things, but I guess I did so again, I’m so sorry. I’m gonna go home and pretend this never happened,” you said, turning around and starting down the street, despite the fact that you most certainly needed to Uber home, not walk.
You’re trying not to cry for the umpteenth time that night when you hear him calling your name, “Wait!”
He caught up with you, only a few strides away from where you were standing, and grasped your arm gently. “Wait, I’m sorry,” he said, a little breathless, “I just… you surprised me.”
“Surprised you?” you laughed, “I damn near sucked your thumb, Jack,” you said, genuinely confused how a man like Jack Abbot could be surprised that a woman would try to kiss him; that the next logical step from erotic thumbsucking would be a kiss. “And you flirted with me all night! You made a Lady and the Tramp joke! How else am I supposed to take that?”
He rubbed at his jaw anxiously, a slight blush coating his cheeks, “I mean, yeah, I was surprised. I’ve liked you for a while now but then I heard you talking to Santos about how you didn’t want to go out with that cardiology attending and just assumed I didn’t have a shot,” he admitted sheepishly. “And maybe I got a little brazen with my flirting because I thought you didn’t see me like that anyway, figured it couldn’t hurt.”
It’s your turn to be surprised now. You hadn’t realized he heard that conversation, or that he’d taken the wrong idea from it; the opposite idea, actually.
You took a step closer to him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, fingers finding his curls again, “Well, if you recall, snoopy, I said that part of the problem was that I just didn’t want to fuck that cardiology attending,” you said, looking up at him and batting your eyelashes, “that isn’t the case with you.”
He looked shocked, but recovered quickly, his confident air returning to him. “Oh, is that so?” he asked, lips quirking up into a smile as he backed you up against the rough brick wall. His hand rested on the wall next to your head, the other on your hip, stroking you through your dress.
“In that case, please allow me to make up for my rude behavior,” he said, dipping down to kiss you properly this time.
You’d pictured this moment countless times before, but nothing compared to the real thing. Jack Abbot is a no nonsense man–a wartorn vet who understands more than most the importance of not wasting time. You expected your first kiss with him to be hungry, maybe a little sloppy, but when his lips meet yours, he’s achingly tender. It wasn’t uncertain–there was no question underlying his kiss–it was deep and languorous, like he was content to take his time up against this brick wall and savor the slide of your lips against his because he knew he had you right where he wanted you, finally.
He commanded you, his hand cupping your jaw to angle your head back, deepening the kiss. His tongue swept across your bottom lip, and you instinctively opened up for him. The slide of his tongue against yours was delicious, the slick muscle curling around yours before moving back to your lips, sucking at your bottom lip and biting down gently. Your mind felt fuzzy at the way he handled you, guiding and taking you how he saw fit.
Some of his restraint dissipated, your mouths moving feverishly against each other. You couldn’t get enough of him; you pulled him into you and hooked your leg around his waist to draw him as close to you as possible. Pathetic, embarrassing whines and whimpers escaped you involuntarily, your body unable to mask how this man was making a mess of you.
His hand fell to the thigh wrapped around him, calloused fingers sliding up under your dress and gripping the bare flesh. He pulled you close, his pelvis rolling against yours sinfully. You could feel the hard outline of his cock against your cunt, your hips thrusting forward to meet the friction. A frustrated moan fell from your lips at the clothes separating you, at the inability to feel his skin against yours.
You pulled away only when air was necessary–and because you were very close to being cited for public indecency if things went any further.
“Sorry, I probably taste like garlic,” you said dumbly, fingers tracing over your spit slick lips, numb and swollen from Jack’s attention.
He laughed, forehead resting against yours, “you taste incredible,” he said, pressing a kiss to your nose, then your cheek, and then under your ear. “I hope I’m not being presumptuous, but my place is a couple blocks from here, if you’d like to come home with me.”
You nodded, a giddy smile breaking out across your face, “I would very much like to go home with you,” you said, already grabbing his hand and dragging him down the street.
The entryway is dark as you stumbled into Jack’s townhouse, the walk talking longer than it should have due to your need to drag him into searing kiss after searing kiss every dozen or so steps.
Jack navigated the two of you through the dark, your bodies unceremoniously plopping down on his couch. You fell onto his lap, knees sinking into the leather cushions and thighs stretching over the wide berth of his hips. Your kisses had devolved from slow and deep to fast and hungry, teeth nipping and clashing against one another, your breathing ragged from the exertion.
He was rock-hard and throbbing under you, the outline of his cock pressing deliciously against your pussy. The only articles of clothing separating you were the thin, lacy excuse for panties you were wearing and his jeans. Your eyes fluttered closed as you ground your hips down on him, the combination of rough denim and the drag of his cock on your aching cunt forcing loud moans and whimpers from your lips.
Jack was just as loud, his hips canting up to meet your rolling hips. His hand travelled to the back of your dress, fingers playing with the zipper, “this okay, sweetheart?” he asked against your lips. You nodded, too caught up in his lips to give a verbal answer.
He chuckled as he pulled the zipper down, easing the sleeves down next and pulling away to get a look at you. He let out a sharp breath, the air stolen from his lungs as he took you in, hands gripping your waist tight and rolling his hips hard against you.
Your pretty tits were held up in an unlined white bra, your hardened nipples peaking through the barely there lace. He threw his head back against the couch, pupils blown wide as they fixated on your chest. ““My pretty, pretty girl. Was this all for him?” he asked, thumbs running in circles around your areolas. You nodded shyly, a bit embarrassed that you’d put on your good lingerie for some random guy. But it wasn’t all for nought, if Jack’s reaction was any indication.
“What a fuckin’ idiot,” he mumbled before enveloping your nipple between his lips, sucking the bud through the lace. He captured the other nipple between his thumb and forefinger, tugging and pinching it, then soothing it over in soft circles. The sensation was dizzying. His mouth was hot and wet against your skin, and he knew exactly the right pressure to ride the line between pleasure and pain.
But the lace was getting in the way; you couldn’t feel the scratch of his stubble like you’d dreamed of for so long. You unclasped your bra, tugging on his curls and pulling his face back just enough to let the garment fall down between you.
A guttural sound left him as he dove back in, lips suctioning onto your nipple and sucking hard, cheeks hollowed out and tongue swirling around the bud. Your hand tightened in his curls, arching your back and pushing your chest against his mouth. He alternated between the two, sucking, licking, and biting at one and kneading, flicking, and pinching the other. You could finally feel the scrape of his stubble against your sensitive skin, your eyes rolling back in your head as your hips doubled their effort, grinding hard against his cock.
He released your nipple with a wet pop, “you know how hard it’s been keepin’ my hands to myself, pretty girl? and all this time you’ve been hidin’ this pretty set of tits under your scrubs,” he shook his head in disbelief, “don’t think I’ll be able to think about anything other than stuffin’ my face between these tits when I see you at work.”
His lips returned to your chest while his unoccupied hand moved under your dress, his rough palm gripping the fat of your ass and guiding you over his length faster. Every grind of your hips had your clit bumping up against the head of his cock, the pressure exquisite. Your slick was dripping down your thighs and seeping into his jeans, the schlick schlick schlick steady background noise among your moans and groans.
You didn’t realize how fast your orgasm was building until you were nearly on the precipice of it, letting out a strangled moan and, “I’m gonna–” before the wave crested. Your thighs trembled, a dull ache forming from keeping them stretched around Jack’s bulk, but it only added to the pleasure that zipped through you. That staticky feeling radiated through you, your pussy contracting and fluttering around nothing.
You’re panting into the crook of his neck as you ride out the aftershocks, your hips still grinding against his clothed cock, your lips letting out tiny gasps and whines.
“Did you… did you just cum, sweetheart?” Jack asked, a stunned look on his face.
You could feel how hot your cheeks were, shame curling through you because yes, you did cum from a little nipple play and grinding on his cock.
“I-i’m sorry, it’s just been a long time and no one’s touched me in so long and you feel so good, I didn’t think that would happen so quickly,” you said, panicked, “I’m sorry if I ruined things.”
“Hey, sweetheart, it’s okay,” he said, thumbs brushing away the embarrassed tears you weren’t even aware had fallen, “you didn’t ruin anything, okay? I was just surprised, is all. I’m sorry if anyone’s made you feel that way, but you don’t ever have to be embarrassed with me. Never,” The sincerity of his words triggered a new bout of tears. You buried your head in the crook of his neck again, his scent a calming balm to your nerves.
“Plus, do you know how much of an ego boost it is to know I had such a pretty girl cummin’ on lap in under five minutes? That’s the stuff of dreams, baby,” he teased, pulling you out from your hiding spot and pressing kisses to your cheeks.
You laughed, still sniffling a bit, “gosh, I’m sorry I’ve been such a crybaby tonight.”
“It’s okay, honey,” he said, then, teasing, “but I can think of much better reasons for you to be cryin’, and none of them have anything to do with you being sad or embarrassed,” he said, kissing you properly now, tongue licking deep into your mouth.
You moaned into his mouth, then squealed as he hoisted you up, carrying you to his bedroom. He set you down at the edge of the bed, then properly removed your dress from where it was awkwardly gathered at your waist.
He didn’t waste any time, dropping to his knees and parting your legs, pushing them up toward your chest. “Hold 'em there for me, baby, wanna take a good look at you,” he murmured, eyes fixed on the damp fabric between your legs. You did as he told you, hooking your hands under your knees and spreading yourself open for him. You felt exposed, but the awestruck look in his eye as he examined your pussy sent shockwaves through your body.
“This all because of me?” he asked, thumbing at your center over the fabric, pressing lightly against your clit with each stroke. Your panties were soaked through, the tiny scrap of fabric doing nothing to obscure your puffy folds that were sticky with a mix of your slick and cum. “What a mess you made, honey. Guess I’m gonna have to clean you up,” he said, pulling your panties to the side and licking a broad stripe from your hole to your clit.
You moaned, hips lifting off the bed and chasing his mouth. The contrast of his hot tongue on your cool flesh was blistering. His hands grabbed the back of your thighs, his fingers digging into the soft skin there and stopping any movement of your hips. You whined at the restriction, your hands fisting in the soft sheets instead.
“Waited so long for this honey, shit, fuckin’ dreamed about how you’d taste,” he moaned into your pussy, mouth lapping and sucking at your folds, gathering all the spend and slick and swallowing it down like nectar. His face was nestled deep into your cunt, tongue exploring every crease and crevice your cunt had to offer, licking, sucking, biting–and taking note of what made you scream.
And once he discovered it, he didn’t just eat you, he devoured you. He was a man possessed, with no regard for his own need for air. His tongue assaulted your clit, alternating between rubbing tight circles around it, short kitten licks, and long, languorous licks that had him shaking his head between your thighs. Every now and again he wrapped his lips around your clit and suckled it, the light leaving your body every time. Your hips rocked against his mouth despite his hold on you, wrecked moans falling from your lips.
“Fuck, jack, please–r-right there!”
“That’s it, baby, let me hear you, tell me how good I’m makin’ you feel,” he said, pulling back just far enough to spit onto your cunt before running two fingers up your slit, pushing them in without preamble. The stretch was delicious, his thick fingers curling deep into your wet heat and finding that sweet spot in no time. He exploited it mercilessly, massaging it with the pads of his fingers. His lips returned to your clit, sucking harshly now, giving you no reprieve from his ministrations.
“Feels so good Jack! Never felt this good before!” you cried.
The slurping and squelching was lewd, your moans and breathless cries of his name intermingled to create an obscene symphony that you’re sure the entire population of Pittsburgh could hear.
“You gonna cum on my face, honey? Gonna give me another one?” he asked, fingers massaging your g-spot. “Wanna–fuck–wanna feel this tight cunt squeeze my fingers when she cums.”
“Y-yes, please Jack, ‘m gonna cum, feels sosososo good” you cried out, your second orgasm crashing over you. Stars burst behind your eyes, back arching uncomfortably off the bed and walls clenching so hard around his fingers you’re not sure how he hasn’t lost circulation. Your legs clamped around his head, trapping him there as you rode out your orgasm, hips rutting against his mouth and fingers. He didn’t mind, licking and sucking you through it, his fingers keeping pressure on your g-spot until you were pushing him away.
He peppered your body with kisses as you came down, starting at your thighs and making his way up over your tummy, ribs, and breasts. He came to rest above you, a dopey smile on your face as you pulled him in for a lazy kiss. His face was soaked with your spend and you could taste the tang on his tongue when he kissed you.
“You’re stupidly good at that,” you whispered, body still boneless and floaty.
“Yeah? Want me to show you want else I’m stupidly good at?” he asked while finally shucking his shirt off.
“Yeah?” you said absentmindedly, eyes glazed over at the majesty that was Jack Abbot’s chest. You immediately began pressing kisses across the newly exposed skin–to his neck, collarbone, pecs, and tummy. You’re even able to scrape your teeth across a nipple before he holds you back at arms length, laughing.
“Yeah, honey,” he laughed between your frantic kisses, “but you gotta let me breathe for a sec, gotta take care of my leg.”
“Let me,” you said, slipping down to the floor and sitting back on your heels. You ran your palms up his thighs, hands coming to rest on his belt before going any further.
“You don’t have to do that, honey.”
“I know,” you said softly, “but I want to. If you’re okay with that.”
He cradled your face in his hand, thumb stroking your cheekbone. You turned into it, kissing the palm of his hand to assure him that you wanted to do this.
“I care about you Jack, and this is part of you. I just wanna help you, wanna make you feel good,” you said earnestly, giving him your puppy dog eyes.
“Yeah. Okay, honey, go ahead,” he nodded, sitting back on his elbows to watch you. You grasped his belt again, unfastening the buckle and pulling the belt through the loops, discarding it somewhere behind you. You moved to the button of his jeans, deftly popping it open and hooking your fingers into the waistband, tugging them down with Jack’s help.
Your breath hitched at the sight of his dark gray boxers, a wet spot front and center that made your mouth water. You learned forward and kissed the damp fabric, moaning at the slight taste of precum that danced across your lips.
“Careful, sweetheart…” he warned, but there wasn’t much heat behind his words.
You just grinned up at him before getting back to the task at hand. Your fingers travelled down to the sleek metal attached to him, getting a feel for the mechanism before unlocking and twisting it off. The liner came next, tossed to the side before you pressed your fingertips into his skin, massaging the skin to get some blood flow back into the residual limb. You pressed sweet kisses to his flesh, from the front of his knee to the scarred flesh of his leg, tongue dipping out to trace the prominent scar just above his amputation site.
Jack breathed heavily above you, tiny groans escaping him unbidden. A look flickered across his face, and you think, briefly, that this may be the first time you’ve seen him truly vulnerable. It wasn’t a secret that he’d lost the lower portion of his leg in the war, but he didn’t flaunt it either. You wondered if there was an insecurity that lay deep within him, despite his overt confidence; if other women had reacted differently, cruelly even to the sight of his prosthesis. It made your heart ache to think about it, to think of someone doing anything but worshipping his beautiful body the way he deserved.
“So pretty, Jack,” you whispered, kisses inching higher up his thigh now, “wanna taste you now.”
When you’re met with the sight of Jack’s cock, you’re well and truly speechless. You knew he was big from your time on the couch, but seeing it was different. He was thick and veiny, the tip flushed a deep red and leaking precum furiously. It rested against his belly, curving slightly to the left. And did you mention that he was thick? Mouth agape, you wondered how you were going to fit him in your mouth. Or pussy.
You’re not sure how long you’ve been sitting there, hands perched against his thighs, just staring at his cock, until Jack tilts your head back, fingers tightening in the strands of hair at the nape of your neck.
“Thought you wanted a taste, honey. You just gonna sit there and stare at it all night?” he asked, a smug smile on his lips.
“Maybe,” you mumbled, tongue darting out to wet your lips.
Before you can do anything of your own accord, his hand is guiding your head forward, the head of his cock pushing gently against the seam of your lips. You take over from there, pressing an open mouthed kiss to his tip, the precum gathered there salty and sticky against your lips. Your tongue dipped out to caress the spot just below his head, running the flat of your tongue along it before moving back to his head, spitting a glob of spit onto him and wrapping a hand around his base. You started with long, slow strokes, squeezing and twisting on the upstroke, your hand meeting your lips where they suckled at his tip.
You moaned at the steady stream of precum invading your mouth, “taste so good Jack,” you said before taking more of him into your mouth. You're only about halfway down and your lips are already stretched tight around him, spit leaking from the corners of your mouth in filthy waterfalls. You hollowed your cheeks out, bobbing your head up and down his shaft, your tongue massaging the underside of his cock.
“Fuck, baby, who knew you had such a filthy fuckin’ mouth on you,” he groaned, hips rutting up slightly.
His tip occasionally hits the back of your throat, causing you to gag and tears to prick behind your eyes, but you don’t care; the feeling of him weighing heavy on your tongue is reward enough.
You feel a light pressure applied to the back of your head, “deeper, baby, know you can take it,” he groaned. You obliged, breathing deep through your nose and sinking down further onto his cock until you felt him hit the back of your throat and your nose was nestled in the trimmed grey curls at his base. Your hand grappled for his where it was perched on your head, using it to push harder against your head, trying to convey to him that you wanted him to take over; to fuck your face.
He groaned, hips jerking involuntarily as he realized what you wanted. He gathered your hair in his hands, hips shallowly trusting into the wet heat of your mouth. His mouth was slack, grunts and groans loud as he fucked your face. His pace builds, his cock roughly pistoning in and out of your mouth. Tears are falling freely now, your mouth stretched to capacity and throat being used and abused by his fat cock.
“See? These tears are much prettier, baby,” he huffed out, thumbs brushing the trails where they fell. “So fuckin’ pretty, crying with my cock in your mouth.”
You moaned around him at that, the praise and shame swirling in your tummy. Your hand came up to cup his balls, massaging and squeezing them gently between your fingers.
You’re suddenly pulled up off his cock and into his lap, spit stringing from your shiny, swollen lips. You whined at the loss of him, your mouth feeling uncomfortably empty now.
“Fuck–you feel too good, honey,” he grunted, setting you back against his pillows, “can’t cum in that pretty little mouth tonight, need to be inside you.”
He grabbed a condom out of his drawer before moving back to you, sitting back on his knees and rolling the condom on. You let out an annoyed whine. You’ve never hated the more rational side of your brain more than you do right now. You craved to feel him bare inside you–to feel him cum deep inside you, the hot white ropes painting your walls. And while you trusted him implicitly, you knew safety was of the utmost importance, so condom it was.
“Don’t worry, baby, soon as we get tested, you won’t be able to stop me from fuckin’ this pussy raw,” he groaned, settling between your spread thighs. His body was a soothing weight above you, the warmth he emanated relieving any anxiety you had.
He gripped the base of his cock and ran it through your sopping folds a few times, the tip catching slightly on your entrance on each pass. “Please, Jack, need to feel you,” you moaned, wrapping your legs around his waist and pulling him close.
He cursed before giving in, notching the head of his cock against your entrance and entering you slowly, letting you feel and adjust to every inch on its own. Your head fell back into his plush pillows as he sank fully into you, your mouth open in a silent scream. Your walls were tight around him, clenching viciously at the intrusion–you’d never been stretched so wide, or filled so thoroughly. It felt like the air had been punched out of your lungs and replaced by his cock. Your hands clutched at his shoulders, your short nails biting at his skin.
You were still for a moment, both your chests heaving as you adjusted to the feeling of one another. Then, once Jack composed himself, he started to move–slow, shallow thrusts at first, your pussy still clenching tight around him, sucking him in greedily with each thrust.
“Relax for me, honey, that’s it, doin’ so good for me,” he grunted, eyes closed, “pussy feels so good.”
You willed your body to relax, for your muscles to go lax around him. You shifted your legs up higher, the heels of your feet digging into the soft flesh of his ass.
“There you go, so good for me,” he moaned, “knew you’d be so good for me.”
He pulled out again, easier this time, until only the tip remained inside you, then snapped his hips forward. His thrusts were slow but hard, his hips slamming against you each time he bottomed out. The drag of his cock against your walls felt so good, his thick, throbbing length rubbing up against every sensitive spot. You felt every thick vein and ridge, as if they were imprinting into your walls, making a home there. You moaned at the thought of eternity, of Jack making your pussy his again and again and again.
He was watching you with a wondrous look on his face, his eyes flitting between your blissed out face and bouncing tits. “So fuckin’ sexy, baby, you don’t even understand how fuckin’ gorgeous you are,” he groaned, hips picking up speed, fucking you faster and harder.
The adrenaline and emotions from the night came crashing down around you. The feeling of his cock dragging through your walls mixed with the sweet words he was whispering into your ear had you feeling exposed and vulnerable, made you feel seen. Your hands were frantic, running over every bit of skin you could get your hands on, needing to feel his skin against yours. You pulled him impossibly closer, his chest now flush against yours, the friction it provided to your nipples dizzying.
You didn’t notice the tears until Jack was kissing away the salty tracks, his tongue sneaking out to lick up the length of your cheek. “You’re my little crybaby, aren’t you?” he asked, a sweet hint of condescension in his tone, “just can’t help babbling over my cock, huh, baby?”
You could only whimper at that. The words should feel shameful, degrading, even, but the fondness on his face, the constant reassurance he’d been giving you all night only made you feel warm and fuzzy inside. Because you weren’t a crybaby, you were his crybaby.
The coil in your stomach tightened, your orgasm fast approaching. He was fucking you hard and fast now, his balls slapping against your ass with a wet smack. “Jaack, I’m gonna–fffuck–I need–” you gasped at a particularly hard thrust, your eyes rolling into the back of your head.
But Jack knew what you needed before you did, his thumb finding your clit and rubbing tight circles against it, and you were done for. Your toes curled, heels pressing harder into his ass as you came, white-hot sparks shooting through your body. Your walls spasmed wildly, your orgasm crashing through you in waves. You were absolutely drenched, your pussy gushing around his cock, leaking down your ass and onto the bed.
Jack wasn’t far behind, his hips stuttering as your walls seized his cock in a vise grip. “F-fuck, baby, you’re squeezin’ me so tight, so fuckin’ good,” he grunted, his hips going into overdrive now, chasing his climax and fucking you hard and deep.
"Cum for me, Jack, wanna make you feel good," you cried.
He ground his hips into one last time, cumming with a loud moan, cock buried deep inside you and hips pressed flush against yours.
He collapsed on top of you, head resting on your chest. He pressed lazy kisses to your sternum, collarbone, the soft flesh of your breasts–whatever he could get his lips on from this angle. Your fingers carded through his curls, the motion soothing as you tried to catch your breath.
Eventually, though, you had to part.
You whined as he pulled out, your cunt empty and cold now that he’d taken his warmth away. He grabbed his arm crutches, disposing of the condom and retreating to the bathroom. He returned with a warm washcloth and began cleaning you up, gently wiping at your swollen pussy and sticky thighs, making sure you were comfortable before tossing the rag in the hamper.
He slid back into bed when he was finished, laying on his side and pulling you close against his chest. Your head was cushioned by this arm as you curled into him, your sweat slick bodies cool to the touch now that the heat had dissipated.
“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to kiss you,” he said, fingers brushing up and down your ribs, the touch featherlight.
“Mmm probably as long as I have,” you said, snuggling closer to him.
“Really? When did you realize you wanted to kiss me?”
You didn’t have to think about it at all. “My birthday, on the roof. I gave you a cupcake and you got frosting all over you,” you giggled at the memory, “and all I could think about was how bad I wanted to kiss it all off of your stupidly handsome face.”
He laughed with you, the creases around his eyes deepening as he did. He was so pretty, you thought for the thousandth time that night.
“I remember that,” he smiled, “I remember being so proud that I made you laugh that night.”
“What about you?” you asked.
He thought about it for a minute. “I think the need to kiss you has been simmering in me since I met you, but the first time I had the conscious thought was when you patched me up after that patient clocked me in the head,” he said, his hand now on your cheek, stroking the bone there, “you were standin’ between my legs, stitchin’ up my forehead, and all I could think about was pulling you close and kissing you until I couldn’t breathe.”
“Why didn’t you?”
He sighed, “I’m your superior and I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable if you didn't feel the same way.” You knew he didn’t want to delve into the ‘superior’ thing right now, didn’t want to have the long, complicated conversation that was sure to come in the following days.
“And I wasn’t sure I’d be able to stop myself once I started,” he said, lightening the mood a bit.
You giggled at that, rolling your eyes affectionately. But something nagged in your head about what he said.
“Wait…” you said, piecing together a timeline, “that was nearly a year ago! You’re telling me we could have been doing this for a year!?” you exclaimed, slapping him on the chest lightly.
He shook his head at you, a sheepish look on his face. You were both idiots.
“Well, I guess we have a lot of lost time to make up for, then, don’t we?” he said cheekily, capturing your lips again and pushing you onto your back, determined to make you a very happy woman.
a/n: thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed it <33
synopsis: jack abbot is obsessed with you and he's going to make it everybody else's problem
- or -
5 moments the night shift (and co) observes between you and jack + the 1 they don't
contains: bsf night shift crew!! dana & the pittlings cameo, he fell first AND he fell harder, age gap (reader is in her 20's), suggestive at times, everyone calls reader sweets, no use of y/n, jack is probably ooc but i refuse to believe that man does not yearn deeply and he is written so, and most importantly: NIGHT SHIFT SUPREMACY
note: first fic for the pitt because i think i might have actually read my way through every fic on here and i crave more pls be nice to me :') this started off as a completely different fic and then it became this instead so there's a half written part 2 (and a part 3 …) if anyone really wants it. yes i did write this instead of the giant piles of actual work i have to do i hope you enjoy <3
dividers by @uzmacchiato <3
1. The Crush
It’s been exactly one week since you joined the night shift. Six days, twenty three hours, and thirty one minutes technically speaking but who was counting.
In that time you’d made yourself indispensable. You were one of the most competent nurses to ever walk through the doors of the PTMC. You were practically hard wired to thrive in the absolute chaos of the night. And, best of all, you’d become Shen’s caffeine addicted partner in crime. Five out of your last seven days you’d dragged him into a pre-shift coffee run and he always complied with your demands.
The night shift wasn’t easy for just anyone to take to. It was hard and yet here you were, doing it all flawlessly. And Jack couldn’t look away. Not that he’d ever want to.
It’d taken no time at all, about five hours into your first shift, for him to become borderline obsessed. All it took was one conversation in the ambulance bay just after midnight. A joke cracked under the light of the full moon, one that broke through the stern expression he’d had on with no hesitation at all, for Jack to want to know every single little detail that made up who you were.
In a normal way of course.
Now here he was. Watching. Eyes following you as you walked into the ED beside Shen, both of you carrying trays piled high with various hot and iced drinks. He can’t imagine how much even one of those things cost.
Within moments most of the drinks are gone, taken by Ellis and Lena and whoever else had placed their order with the two of you the night before. Jack, for just a moment, regrets not having done so. Not that he even likes the sugary sweet monstrosities you always chug your way through before midnight, always somehow armed with another one to get you through your second half of the night.
He’d pretend though. Especially if it meant you’d stop and smile at him and maybe even talk to him for just a couple seconds about something not medicine related before diving into the mayhem.
“Hey!” Your voice isn’t a hallucination, Jack determines when he sees you walking up to him with a smile.
He tries not to look too surprised. Or flustered. Or excited. “Hi.”
Nailed it.
“I brought you something.”
Jack thinks he might melt into the floor.
You hold out a drink, one clearly meant for him. It’s green on top and pink on bottom with strawberry slices floating above the ice.
“You didn’t have to.” He takes it from you and relishes in the brief moment that his hand touches yours. You need to calm down, he thinks to himself.
“I know, I wanted to. It’s on me.” You say it so easily and Jack thinks now might be a good time to excuse himself and go jump off the roof because he can feel his whole body warming in a way it shouldn’t be at the sentiment.
You’d thought of him. Part of him wonders how long you’d been doing that for and if it was for as long as he’d been thinking of you. Day and night. Hour after hour. In ways he definitely shouldn’t be.
“I just figured you could use a little caffeine that wasn’t the stale black coffee in the break room for once,” You shrug like it’s nothing but it means everything to him. “As a certified drink specialist I thought you might like this one. Shen said I was crazy for picking it but I spent every minute I was awake looking through the cafe's menu debating and I think I finally narrowed down something to live up to your incredibly high standards.”
Jack had stopped listening as soon as you looked up at him. Wide eyed and a little nervous but with that sweet smile he was maybe just a little bit obsessed with already. “What is it?”
Frankly, he didn’t really care. He’d love it no matter what because you’d been the one to hand it to him. You’d put effort into finding something you thought he’d like and that was more than enough for him.
“An iced strawberry oat milk matcha. It’s not too sweet but definitely a step up from a black coffee. I,” You stop yourself for a second, hesitating a little. One look from him though, one that practically begged you to continue, and you kept going. “I see the face you make when you drink it even when it’s fresh so I thought we’d switch it up a little.”
You’d noticed him. He was one more observation away from imploding. He swirled the drink around to distract himself from the fact and then took a huge gulp.
“Holy shit,” His eyes went wide as he took a second to savor the drink. It was good. Really good. He had no clue how you’d figured him out so perfectly. Part of him was hopeful enough to think that you just knew him. Saw him. He took another sip.
“You like it?” You were beaming at him now, satisfied and proud of yourself.
He couldn’t be more obsessed with you if he tried. He was tempted to propose marriage right then and there. Instead all he said was, “This is phenomenal.”
Jack couldn’t help himself. He looked directly at you and hoped that maybe these abilities of yours to read him perfectly well extended past the drinks and you’d be able to look into his head to see what he really wanted to say. You’re phenomenal. I like you. Probably more than is healthy. Never leave me, actually.
“Oh you’re kidding,” Jack had almost forgotten where he was until Shen walked over, handing you a half drunk iced coffee along with a fresh one for later, just like usual. “He liked it?”
“Just like I said,” You held up your hand for a high five, which Shen gave you despite dropping his head and groaning. “Which means you’re buying for me tomorrow.”
Jack rolled his eyes at the sight of the two of you. His smile pushed through the serious facade he was trying to put on. Nothing could ruin his mood right now he was positive of it.
“Is it that surprising?” Jack held his drink a little tighter and held back the urge to take another sip of it. He was seriously already starting to understand your guys' shared obsession with always having some kind of drink on you.
“No, it’s just,” Shen paused for a moment and it hit him all at once. Abbot was in a good mood. And all it’d taken was a personal delivery straight from you. He was wearing a smile, a genuine one. Best of all, his eyes kept straying back to you. Like you were some kind of magnet pulling him in against his will. Oh yeah, he’s obsessed. “I’m glad you found something you like.”
Jack heard it. The tone. His eyes snapped back to Shen and narrowed the slightest bit. All he did in response was wink at him and take a sip of his first coffee of the night.
He could see right through him.
2. The Confession
It had been three days of this and every time Jack saw you he felt the question at the tip of his tongue. And every time something else came out instead. So here he was. Two weeks into your time here and he was obsessed with you. That much he could admit.
If he wasn’t he wouldn’t be lingering by the nurses desk, pretending to look at a stack of papers he was pretty sure were blank. Every few seconds he glances up to where you were deep in a conversation with Ellis and Walsh. The three of you had gotten yourself partnered on the same case and were taking advantage of the fact that your patient was doing perfectly after surgery to actually talk about something normal while you could since you found yourselves with a little downtime.
“You don’t have to hover, you know.”
Jack freezes.
He thinks he might’ve actually stopped breathing. He knows exactly what Lena’s talking about though and he’s determined to lie his way through it.
“What?”
Okay, maybe not the best start. He doesn’t look up from where he’s pretending to flip through whatever papers were in front of him. Definitely not eavesdropping.
“Oh, please,” Lena rolls her eyes and leans back in her chair. “She’s not gonna disappear into thin air. You can get work done and I promise she’ll be there after.”
“I don’t know what you mean.” Jack betrays himself when he glances back over in your direction. He smiles to himself when he sees you laugh, a beaming grin on your face. When he looks back towards Lena she’s already staring at him with her arms crossed.
“I think you just might be the world's worst liar,” Lena leans forward conspiratorially. Her voice drops when she asks, “So when are you gonna ask her on a date instead of moping around?”
Jack freezes again, “What are you talking about?”
“Seriously?” She lets out a disbelieving laugh at his bad attempt at faking innocence. “You’re worse than a kid with their first crush, it’s a miracle she hasn’t noticed yet.”
Okay so maybe she had a point, Jack could admit that much. He remembers the first time he’d seen you here clearly. He’d felt some kind of pull towards you the moment you entered the PTMC just over a year ago. It’d been easy to ignore then, though. You’d just graduated and had been doing an emergency medicine residency program under Dana during the day shift and it was only every now and then he’d be there at the same time too. Yet every time he did happen to work with you, even for a fleeting moment, it was like the entire place shifted a little bit.
Dana had even stopped him one time, so casually that he hadn’t even questioned why she was calling him. “You better watch yourself, Abbot. That’s my girl, best one to come through here in ages. Last thing she needs is you distracting her.”
He’d scoffed at the statement at the time, claiming that it wasn’t like that. It had been exactly like that, though. He knew that now. You’d been easy to avoid when you were on day shift but now you were here all the time and he couldn’t imagine not finding every reason he could to stick to your side.
“She’s not one of yours, you know. She’s one of mine,” Lena’s voice brings him out of it. There’s an I told you so look on her face that he rolls his eyes at. “I’m just saying, the paperwork will be a lot easier to fill out.”
“Aren’t you a romantic,” He knows he can trust Lena, though. If it was really a bad idea she’d tell him so with zero hesitation. So finally, hesitantly, he says, “I’ll think about it.”
***
Jack barely needed time to think about it. He had made his choice quickly and it was eating him up inside. It was just past 7 AM and he could hear the day shift and night shift looking for you both. His time with you was running out and fast. It was just the two of you alone in the room, your patient had just miraculously gotten a bed upstairs and you’d been there to ensure a smooth transition. Maybe that was his sign that you’d say yes.
He stops you before you can pull the curtain open to let them know the room was now open. He reaches for your hand, grabs your waist, and spins you around to look at him in a single swift move. “When can I see you again?”
The question doesn’t phase you.
“In about twelve hours.” You answer him with a teasing smile, choosing to stay just a little bit too close to him instead of stepping back.
“You know what I mean, honey.”
And then you look at him in a way that’s new. Your smile turns less teasing and falls a bit. It makes you look a little more vulnerable. He watches your eyes flicker across his face and he knows you’re trying to see what he’s really made of. If he really means it. He wants to shout the truth to you in that moment. That he can’t get enough of you.
“Say it,” Your voice comes out soft and he wonders briefly if you can read his mind. You step a little bit closer to him. “Tell me what you really want from me.”
Jack is painfully aware of the voices and footsteps coming closer. They’ll walk in any moment now, he knows it. He glances towards the door and when he looks back he can see you about to step away, thinking he wasn’t going to tell you the truth. He blurts it out before you can.
“Everything.” He says it so easily that it makes your breath hitch a little bit, he can see it happen. “I want to take you on a real date again and then take you home with me because you will not believe how hard it is to sleep without you next to me. When I wake up I want to just lay there looking at you for a little bit wondering how the hell you agreed to all of that. And then I want to do that over and over again until you get sick of me.”
You don’t say anything after his confession. A few seconds pass where you just let the words sink in and then, “Only if your plan includes taking me to that cute little cafe down the street too.”
“Whenever you want.” Jack’s never agreed to anything so fast in his life.
“Right answer,” You finally will yourself to step away and swing the curtain open. Before you walk away you look at him again and the teasing smile is back. “I’ll meet you outside in a bit?”
He walks towards you again and he’s really pushing it when he stands so close you can feel the heat of him. “Odds we can sneak out of here before they can stop us?”
“Abbot!” Dana's voice.
You laugh at the way he groans as his head falls onto your shoulder briefly. “Not likely.”
3. The Kiss
It’d only taken a month for everything the night shift knew about Jack to change. It had also been a month since you’d joined them. The two things had to be related. They just couldn’t prove it yet.
“Hey,” Ellis whispered as she practically ran to where Shen and Lena were deep in a conversation. There was an uneasy look in her eyes as she looked around, as if she was expecting someone to overhear what she was about to say. “Is he being weird?”
They look towards where she had subtly nodded and found Jack. He was in an exam room laughing with a patient as he finished stitching him up. Laughing.
Night shift chief attending Dr. Jack Abbot was in a good mood. For the first time maybe ever, as far as they knew. At least publicly in a good mood. He was never like this at work, always opting for serious and stoic with his patients because he needed to be at a job like this.
But this was his third patient in a row now that he made easy conversation with. It was a lot more than pleasantries and small talk, it was real conversations. Questions about themselves and their lives and jokes traded back and forth. It was unsettling, frankly.
“Thank you! I told you something was up with him,” Shen slams a hand down on the counter before looking at Lena and leaning forward the same way Ellis was, mocking concern. “ Have we tested him for any substance use lately?”
“Alright drama queens,” Lena rolls her eyes at them and leans back in her chair. “Why can’t he just be having a good night?”
Ellis shakes her head at that, nose scrunching as she disagrees, “No, I think he might actually be physically incapable of that.”
“Well what do you think it is then?”
“I think he got laid,” She says it confidently and with zero hesitation at all. Shen chokes on his drink and Lena’s eyes go wide as saucers. “What? He’s all glowy and shit, there is literally no other explanation?”
“Explanation for what?” Your voice comes out of nowhere and Ellis and Shen nearly jump out of their skin.
“For,” Ellis recovers faster and quickly glances at Lena and Shen, neither of which provide any help. “For why Shen’s guy in south 18 is really concussed.”
“Oh he’s having an affair with his neighbor for sure,” You set your tablet down and swipe your badge along the card reader at one of the computers. “This guy shows up with his pants backwards, shirt inside out, and his left shoe missing and he expects us to believe he just tripped while on a late night walk?”
It’s at that moment that Shen notices it. There’s no iced coffee in your usual place. It’s always right there, tucked in the corner of the desk Lena sits behind. You always reach for it every time you’re nearby, it’s how you make your way through it faster than almost anyone else. He watches carefully as you reach in that exact direction subconsciously before pulling your hand back. Empty.
“Where’s your drink?” He blurts the question out suddenly and you glance up at him.
“What?”
“Your drink,” He glances at Ellis and Lena and they can see the real question in his eyes. “You always leave it right there. It’s barely nine, there’s no way you’ve had enough downtime to finish it already.”
“Oh,” You go back to the computer screen and shrug. “I just woke up late, didn’t have time to stop.”
“Right,” Shen’s eyes narrow at you but he doesn’t say anything else. That’s when he notices Jack leave his patient's room and walk in the direction of the break room. “Hey, my second one is in the fridge if you want it?”
You sit up instantly and immediately a little bit of life fills you again. So maybe you both had a little bit of an addiction. “Seriously?”
“Yeah, don’t worry about it.” And that’s all he has to say before you’re making a beeline to the break room, steps faltering just the slightest bit when you see Jack disappear through the door. Then you glance back at them, smile, and disappear in the same direction.
“No,” Shen shakes his head immediately. “It's a coincidence. There’s no way.”
“And what makes you so sure?” Lena, admittedly, is invested now.
“Uh, because Sweets is my best friend in the whole wide world and would have told me obviously,” He rolls his eyes like it's obvious. “Plus there’s no way Abbot would admit how deep he is in his feelings already. He’s due for at least another couple weeks of yearning from afar.”
“I don’t know, he might’ve,” Lena shrugs as she recalls all the little things she’s witnessed the last few weeks. “This is intense, even for him.”
“Besides, look who we’re talking about,” Ellis points out the fact that they all know is right. You were sunshine personified. The piece they didn’t even realise the night shift was missing. And it was just like Jack Abbot to want you all to himself. “He’d be crazy if he didn’t.”
“Wait,” Lena pieces it together first. The missing coffee. The good moods. The hesitation before your smile, the one that was just a little bit different than usual. Softer. “Didn’t they walk in together today?”
There’s a moment of silence as they all realize the same thing at the same time.
“First one to find out pays for the others drinks for the next two weeks?”
“Deal.”
“You’re on.”
***
“You’re insane.”
Jack only grins at you as he locks the door of the supply closet behind him. He wastes no time at all and immediately wraps you up in his arms, skipping all formalities and letting his mouth fall to your neck. “I thought that’s why you liked me”
He knows now how easy you are to distract. One glance at you and how your eyes have fluttered shut already confirms that. You let out a content little sigh as you pull him closer to you, “Among other reasons.”
The noise that fills the pitt disappears and suddenly all you know is Jack. His hands wandering underneath your shirt. His mouth on every bit of skin he can reach. The way he cages you in between his body and the shelf behind you and holds you like he’s afraid you’ll disappear.
“Jack seriously,” It takes every bit of your self control to pull yourself back and attempt to look at him for real. “We can’t do this here.”
“We're alone, honey. No one has to know,” He doesn’t even look at you, eyes trained on your lips instead. He slips your scrub top over your head leaving you in just the thin, see-through, white undershirt. You're both quickly losing all sense of rationality.
“Someone’s gonna come looking for us”
“I'm their boss, I'll make them go away,” One of his hands tangles in your hair this time and he pulls your head back so he can look into your eyes. Blown out pupils, breaths falling heavy, lips swollen from how you’d been biting them in an effort to keep quiet. He groans a little bit at the sight. “Just this once, baby, I swear,” He kisses you. Really kisses you. Long and slow and deep. Enough to make your thoughts go blurry and your knees weak. He pulls away the slightest bit and smirks when you chase the feeling of him. “Promise.”
“You know, somehow I don’t believe you.” He laughs then, pretending he doesn’t notice you start to push his own shirt up little by little. Your hands are cold on the warm, bare skin of his chest and he shivers a little bit, smiling even wider. He's addicted to you, he thinks.
“Can you blame me?” Another kiss, this time picking up where he left off before. “You’re perfect.”
Someone pulls on the door seconds later, just as his hands start wandering lower.
“Why is this door locked!”
You slip your scrub shirt back on in record time and Jack pushes you behind him when he goes to open the door as Ellis starts pounding on it. “I swear to god I -”
She doesn’t see you when he opens it. Not at first.
“Can I help you?” Jack asks the question like nothing is wrong in the slightest.
Ellis looks around for a second, trying to determine if anyone else was seeing this or if she had finally entered a state of hallucination. “I just need -”
That’s when she sees you. Tucked behind Jack, clothes a little crooked on your body and a little more disheveled than before. You’re smiling at her, only the slightest bit shy but mostly looking a little pleased. “I - hi?”
She doesn’t know what else to say to you.
“Hi,” You smile at her and step around Jack. “What did you need to grab?”
“I just - I just need a suture kit.”
You grab one off the shelf next to you and step around Jack, stopping for just a second to shoot him a smile. She watches him return the smile, absolutely noticing the way he reaches for you. His fingers barely skim against you when you step just a little too close to him, like even that feather light touch will get him through the rest of the night. You turn back towards her like nothing happened. “Do you want any help?”
“Uh, yeah. Sure.” Ellis tries not to stare when Jack grabs your hand for real, pulling you back and kissing you again, modestly this time. On your forehead as he whispers something to you that she can’t hear.
It’s not until you’ve walked further away from the storage closet that she leans a little closer to you. “Hey, are you two…you know?”
You laugh a little bit at the question. “Dating? I thought it was kinda obvious after that.”
“I didn’t want to assume.” Ellis laughs along with you and shakes her head, leading you in the direction of one of the rooms. Then she notices Shen and Lena out of the corner of her eye again and stops. “Hey, can you get started? I need to check with Lena about some lab results real quick.”
“Yeah, go for it! Take your time.”
Ellis watches you pull the curtain of the room closed. Then she waits until Jack has disappeared into another room on the other side of the ED, the most smug looking grin on his face, before she practically runs to the nurses desk. “They’re dating, I told you so.”
“What?”
“And we’re just supposed to believe you? How do you know?”
“I asked,” She pauses for a moment before leaning closer. “And I found them both in the supply closet with the door locked, you connect the dots.”
Shen’s face scrunches in disgust. “Ew.”
Lena on the other hand only lets out a sigh. “We’re gonna have to keep an eye on them aren't we?”
“Probably.” Ellis looks incredibly pleased as she starts walking back to the room you’d gone into. “I’ll send you guys my drink order before next shift.”
4. The Reveal
The day shift doesn’t usually notice when the night shift starts to trickle in. You remember it clearly, the way it feels like every single person with every single ailment known to mankind seems to congregate in the pitt all at once right before it’s time for shift change. That’s something you don’t miss. By the time you guys come in it feels settled. Or maybe you all just like to think so.
Either way, they definitely don’t notice when you and Jack walk in together, your bag slung over his shoulder. They’re too distracted by the drinks Shen and Lena walked in with, relegated to delivery service after losing some bet to Ellis.
All the noise is forgotten quickly. This, the rare quiet moment in the staff locker room where it feels like the whole world comes to a stand still, is Jack’s time to breathe. He watches you throw all your things into his locker, somehow getting to the point of sharing custody of one now in the last couple of weeks.
He knows you’re saying something. He can hear the sound of your voice but you’re also tying your hair up so it’s out of your way for the night and he loses all ability to think straight. Some kind of pavlovian response overtakes him and this feeling fills him up inside and suddenly he can’t help himself.
He stands up and it's like his hands move on their own without him meaning for them to. They set themselves firmly on your hips and pull them back, completely flush against him. He bunches the scrub top up and settles his hands underneath the long sleeve shirt you’re wearing under it. Your skin is warm under them and the little noise he lets out is perfectly content.
“Can I help you?” He can hear the smile you’re wearing when you ask the question and he can picture it perfectly.
“No,” Jack shakes his head a little and kisses your cheek. It lingers for a second before he starts moving down the expanse of your neck. “I’m fine. What were you saying?”
“You're so needy, you know that?”
“Are you complaining?” He doesn’t get a response from you. Instead your arms settle over his and you relax into his hold. He smirks. “That’s what I thought.”
You don’t get very long to escape into the moment.
“There you are. Robby’s looking for - woah,” The exhausted look on Santos' face turns into a shit-eating grin in a fraction of a second. “What’s going on here?”
Jack frowns when you wiggle out of his hold to turn to look at her.
“Hey,” You smile at her like she hadn’t just seen what she clearly just did. She shares a look with both Javadi and Whitaker who’d walked in with her. “How was your shift?”
“Uh, I'm sorry,” Javadi laughs in disbelief a little as she looks between the two of you. You, smiling brightly at her in the way she misses seeing so much on the day shift, and Jack, who looks like he’s never hated three people more. She’s pretty sure he’s committing their murders in his head. “What is this? When did this happen?”
Jack all of a sudden feels protective in that moment. Over your relationship that very much fuels his will to live and over you. Part of him is surprised you hadn’t told them yet. The first friends you’d made here, probably some of your closest, clearly had no idea about you and him. Then he remembers your opposite schedules and the constant cycle of work and being completely enveloped by the so-called honeymoon phase of your relationship he thinks might actually never end.
“Wait, did I not tell you guys?” You’re trying your hardest to trace back every moment of the last few weeks. Jack takes it upon himself to hand you your drink and grab his before shutting his locker, taking a second to just listen. One of his arms wraps around your waist again.
“You did not, sweets,” Santos shakes her head and speaks slowly, trying to push through her absolute shock at this revelation. And trying very hard not to stare at the casual display of affection from Jack Abbot of all people.
Whitaker is the one who recalls the last real interaction you’d had with them fastest. Somehow he’s the least surprised. “You spent all of breakfast the other day telling us about that kid you patched up with Ellis. The one who slipped off the fire escape trying to sneak into his girlfriend's room."
“You told Mel, Samira, and Langdon," Jack says it in between sips of his matcha like it’s nothing. “When you had them over for dinner at yours your last night off. You sent me a picture of their reactions.”
“Right!” You try your hardest to hold in a laugh at the recollection. Samira had shouted into a pillow. Mel had asked a lot of questions, incredibly excitedly. Frank had decided he needed to take a walk to process and stood on your balcony for ten minutes. “I guess I forgot, everything kinda blurs together. They didn’t tell you?”
“Sweets, I think you told the three least nosy people in the ED,” Santos makes a mental note to yell at all of them for keeping this from everyone else. “Of course they didn’t.”
Then your attention slips from Jack completely when Javadi prompts Whitaker to tell you about something that happened earlier. He stops listening completely, now perfectly distracted by the excited look in your eyes and the way you smile at them. And okay so maybe he’s a little bit clingy.
Jack wraps himself around you from behind again, arms now fully circling your waist. He does not hesitate in the slightest to pull you flush against him again either. He does exercise a little bit of self control though. There’s no kiss this time. Instead he let out a soft sigh and let his head fall onto your shoulder, chin resting against it silently as you talk.
He doesn’t notice the way Javadi covers her mouth with one hand to hold back the comment she wants to make out loud. Instead she points at the sight as subtly as she can and mouths “oh my god!” you only grin at her. You roll your eyes, pretending to be annoyed at Jack’s display, but you settle back into him anyway.
He also doesn’t notice the way Whitaker stares at him, eyes narrowed in his direction and head tipped to the side curiously, debating to himself whether or not Jack was actually in the room with them. Physically or mentally.
Santos, ever curious, is the one who finally cracks and breaks him out of his self induced trance. “Okay, I have to know. How did this even -”
“Hey!” Ellis cuts in before she can even ask the question all the way. She pops her head in the door, eyes skipping past everyone until they land on you and Jack. She doesn’t look phased by the sight in the slightest. She nods at you with a smile in greeting before looking at Jack. “If you don’t get out there in the next five seconds for hand-offs, Robby might just track down a guillotine and use it on you.”
“Alright, alright,” Jack rolls his eyes and takes his time standing up straight again. He lingers for as long as humanly possible. Another kiss, to your forehead this time, before he very begrudgingly lets you go one arm at a time. “I’ll see you out there.”
Jack keeps holding your hand as he walks out of the room, not letting a single second go to waste. He holds on until he takes a step too far and lets it fall out of his own. An absolutely devastating moment in his eyes.
“Later, kids.” He just barely glances at Whitaker, Javadi, and Santos, saluting them with two fingers before taking another sip of his drink and walking out of the locker room with Ellis, who hands him a tablet.
The silence sinks in around you. In those few moments your friends realize that Abbot’s whole little display is evidently very much normal for the night shift. And then -
“Since when does Abbot drink matcha?”
5. The Declaration
It was bordering on 2 AM when the trauma came in. A young girl, who’d just wanted some pancakes and coffee while pulling an all nighter studying for her upcoming SAT exam. She’d been hit by a drunk driver on her way home from the diner and was in rough shape.
The room was already tense. She’d coded in the ambulance and they’d only just managed to get her stable. Every single one of you held your breath as you all did everything in your power to try to save her.
It was really with no hesitation that everyone else took a backseat to you and Jack moving easily around each other. The two of you were the girls best bet at surviving, a well oiled machine at this point. In every sense of the phrase. You could anticipate what he was about to do before he even said it. All he’d have to do is give you a look and you just knew, you’d hand him whatever he needed, or ask someone else if your hands were full, and you were right every single time.
“Honestly I think the rest of us can go home,” Walsh, who’d been paged to consult and make sure the girl was stable enough for surgery, said from where she stood on the other side of the hospital bed from you and Jack. She was watching closely and honestly, was more than a little impressed. Especially when you pointed something out to Jack that he’d missed right before she could. “Our sweet little angel face over there has this whole place locked down.”
“Including Abbot,” Shen watches from beside Walsh, looking on curiously at the silent understanding between the two of you. “It’s like they have some freaky mind meld thing going on.”
“You think its contagious?” Walsh puts up her side of the bed railing, seeing that Jack was just about done.
“Hopefully not,” Shen makes a face at the thought. “I'm more than happy letting her be the one to keep him too busy to yell at the rest of us.”
Neither one of you notice their conversation in the slightest, too involved in each other even in a trauma room. It’s almost unsettling. The small little smiles and the bedroom eyes and whispered comments passed between the two of you. The way Jack pauses for just the briefest moment mid procedure to turn and send you a wink that makes you roll your eyes and grin back at him.
Walsh watches the whole interaction, positive the two of you have forgotten everyone else is the room. “This can't possibly be normal. Are they like this their whole shifts?”
Shen thinks for a moment before shaking his head, “It’s usually worse. Boarding on an HR violation is their normal.”
A moment passes where Walsh realizes that yeah, that kinda tracks considering the moments she’s been witness to up until this point. Then, to Shen’s horror, she smiles. “Hey, do you wanna see something funny?”
His eyes narrow at her but ultimately his curiosity gets the better of him. “I’m not taking responsibility for your funeral expenses if this goes badly.”
That only makes her smile wider.
Walsh maneuvers her way to your other side, taking the place of one of the other nurses that was there. Shen’s eyes go wide when she looks at him again. She speaks before he can shake his head to stop her, breaking you and Jack out of the little bubble you’d put yourselves in.
“You know you’re really good at this, Sweets,” Walsh grins when you look over at her instead and Jack hesitates for just a second. “When can I steal you to help me in the OR? You’d be amazing in there.”
“Anytime,” You meet her smile easily. “I’m always down for a change in scenery.”
“Perfect,” She smirks a little at your answer. “Name a day and time and I'll steal you all for myself.”
“Done,” The other side of the railing snaps up, maybe a little more harsh than it needs to be. Jack looks up, not a hint of the smile he’d been using with you left when he looks at Walsh. “You can go now.”
Walsh looks more than pleased by his reaction. She looks at Shen who’s trying his absolute hardest not to laugh giddily at what he just witnessed.
“Down, boy,” She unlocks the wheels of the hospital bed and smirks even wider when Jack removes his gloves and loops his fingers into the hem of your scrub top, pulling you back into his side. It’s completely subconscious, she realizes, when neither one of you seems to even notice it happens. “Even when I steal her from you for my OR you’ll still get to take her home at the end of the night.”
“Wait, hang on, that’s where I draw the line,” Shen unlocks the wheels on the other side and starts wheeling the bed out with her. “You are not taking our best nurse all for yourself. Especially not when she’s the one who also brings us our caffeine every shift.”
“You know, you’re only giving me more reasons to steal her.”
Neither one of them notices that you don’t follow. Instead, the room empties out and then it’s just you and Jack. The silence settles between you as Jack unties the back of your surgical gown. When you turn to face him again he speaks softly.
“You could go, you know. To the OR. If you wanted to.” Jack says it before you can say anything about it. “Walsh is right, you’d be a natural up there.”
“Jack -”
“You don’t have to stay here forever. I mean, Shen is also right. We’d miss you down here. It hasn’t even been a couple months yet and it feels like you were made to be here with m- with everyone -”
“Jack -”
“Even if you just wanted to try it out. I think you should. I mean it’s-”
You kiss him. Not in the storage closet or the locker room or in an on call room or behind a curtain like usual. Right there in the middle of a trauma room, windows wide open and the ED buzzing all around you.
Jack melts into you immediately. Hands moving to your hips to pull you closer before one moves to the back of your neck to deepen the kiss. A small groan leaves him when you pull away, the sweetest, most innocent smile on your lips.
“You talk too much,” A moment passes where you just stare at him, making sure he’s really listening to what you’re saying. “I’m not leaving the ED,” and then you add a little quieter, a little more shy, “You’re here.”
“I love you.”
Jack doesn’t know what possesses him to say it out loud here and now of all places for the very first time. But he feels it and he acknowledges it and there’s no way he can hold it in after that. There’s a need that settles deep in his bones and he knows he’s never going to want anything less than you right there with him always. Forever. He doesn’t know how he’d survive otherwise.
It takes a moment for what he said to sink in. You can see the intensity in his eyes, how much he feels it and means it. You really wish you were anywhere but the ED right now. Maybe if you wished really really hard you could somehow will everyone and everything to slow down long enough for you to sneak away with Jack for just a little bit.
Jack Abbot who loves you. The knowledge of that fact makes you feel warm all over.
“I love you too.”
+1. The Move
Jack is obsessed. He knows that for sure now.
With the way you kiss him and how you look at him after. With the way you let him be as attached to you as he needs to be at any given moment and you don’t mind at all. With the way you hold his hand and pretend not to notice when he moves his fingers to rest on your pulse point out of instinct. And especially with moments like these.
It’s pushing ten am and the two of you have only just left the hospital. A morning rush hour pileup meant that not only was there an influx of trauma’s coming in right before 7 but also that a good chunk of the staff were stuck behind the backed up traffic.
Despite the fifteen hour shift, you’re still happily nodding your head along to the soft music that fills Jack’s car. He watches you out of the corner of his eye. You’re mumbling the words to the song playing and taking sips out of the drink he’d just bought you, your third one of the day. His drink is sitting the cup holder. His second one, your habits had rubbed off on him.
The song switches once and then twice. By the time it switches a third time he’s watching you frown as you reach the bottom of your drink.
“Honey, don’t take this the wrong way,” He looks at you for a moment before looking back at the road. “But I think you might have a problem.”
“I do not!” You feign offense and turn towards him in your seat. “God forbid I treat myself to something nice after a long day.”
“What were the other two for then?”
“A treat for going to work and a pick me up for halfway, clearly.”
“Clearly.” Jack shakes his head as stops at a light. Silently, he drops one hand from the wheel and sets it palm side up on the center console. Almost immediately you’re placing your hand in his, the exact way he was craving.
The light turns green and he makes the split second decision then. He turns right, the direction that’ll let him turn around to head towards his place, instead of continuing straight, the direction that would take him to yours.
You watch as he does so, driving further and further away from your apartment. “Jack, what are you doing?”
He kisses the back of your hand. “Taking you back to mine since you’re clearly not planning on sleeping after all that caffeine.”
“Okay, one,” You turn to face him again, even while he’s driving. “I’ve built up a tolerance. This is nothing. And two, I've been out of clean clothes for like a week. I can only wash the ones I have there so many times.”
“So steal some of mine.” Jack shrugs and maybe the thought of you in his clothes is a little bit for him too.
“Bad idea, cause then neither of us will ever have clean clothes again.”
“I’ll buy you new ones then.”
“Not if I don’t let you.”
“Good luck stopping me.”
He’s winning and you both know it. So instead you say, “I have to stay at my place sometimes, what’s the point of even having it if I give in and always let you win these fun little arguments.”
The stop is sudden. Jack pulls over into the first empty spot he sees on the side of the road and turns to face you fully before you can ask him what he’s doing.
“You know what, honey? You’re right,” He leans towards you, fully leaning on the center console until he’s close enough to kiss you if he really wanted to. “There’s really no point in you paying for an apartment you’re barely ever in so I think it’s the perfect time for you to let me move you in with me.”
For a second you’re not sure if you heard him right. Maybe he was right and the cocktail of caffeine and sleep deprivation was finally making you imagine things. “What?”
“Move in with me.”
So you definitely heard him right.
“You’re not serious.”
“What makes you think I’m not?”
“It’s barely been three months,” You shake your head as if that should explain everything. “And we haven’t even technically been dating for that entire time.”
“What can I say, I know what I want,” You’re still looking at him in disbelief so Jack takes your hand again and he sounds more serious when he says it plainly. “What I want is you. Every morning, every night, every shift, every minute you’ll let me. If you’ll have me.”
“It’s too fast.” You’re only trying to convince yourself at this point.
Jack smiles at you, softer than before. “You’re forgetting I’ve been pining over you for more than a year now.”
You catch the implication immediately. It went way further back than just three months. All the way back to the day you walked through the doors of the PTMC halfway through him going through shift change. He’d lingered a lot longer than necessary and you had thought it was just normal for him.
“You’re crazy.”
“That’s why you love me.”
And he’s right. It’s the reason why you finally give in. “Will you at least let me split the rent with you?”
“I own the place.” Jack shrugs and you know for a fact that he’s not sorry in the slightest.
“Mortgage then.”
“Already paid off.”
“Bills?”
“Paid in advance for the next three months.”
“Groceries?”
“Not a chance.”
“50 50?”
“90 10.”
You huff a little and pout at him. He doesn’t fall for it, only pausing for a second to kiss the look off your face. “Are you ever going to let me win one of these arguments?”
“Not unless it’s in your best interest.”
“You’re insufferable.”
“And you love me for that too.”
Jack finally thinks for a moment and that’s when his eyes land on the drinks in the cupholder between the two of you, his half full one and your empty one. “How about I let you pay for my drink every time we stop for one?”
You light up at his proposition. “Will you let me pay for mine?”
“Only after the first one. First one I’m paying for,” He leans in a little bit closer, knowing he’s got you on his side now. “Consider it a compromise.”
“Works for me.”
“You can pay for Shen’s too,” He adds quickly before you can agree. “I refuse to fund his addiction, he’s worse than you.”
“Deal.” That makes you laugh and you finally lean in and kiss him, sealing everything in place.
He can taste the sugary vanilla drink that still lingers on your tongue and it makes him smile against your lips. “Will you let me take you to our home now?”
“Okay,” You kiss him again. You really can’t help it. “Take me to our place.”
summary: One glitchy tablet, one HR email, and suddenly you’re married to your attending, Jack Abbot. HR thinks it was intentional and has already started merging your records. Claim it was a mistake, and your residency could be delayed. With only three months left until you’re an attending, Jack agrees to play along. Pretending to be married might save your career—but can your heart survive the side effects?
⊹ ࣪ ˖ word count: 135k┊ongoing┊updates weekly (might be later if life happens...)
⤷ CHAPTER INDEX:
⚕one.┊two.┊three.┊four.┊five.┊six.┊seven.┊eight.┊nine.┊ten.┊eleven. ┊twelve.┊thirteen.┊fourteen.┊ fifteen. ┊ sixteen.┊seventeen.┊eighteen┊ nineteen ┊twenty ┊twenty one ┊twenty two
⤷ BLURBS INDEX:
⚕ long shift
⚕ halloween
i'm not keeping a tag list for this series anymore. follow @s-writing-s-fics to get notified when i post a new chapter <33
summary — the first rule of sleeping with your attending was to make sure it meant nothing. you’d been very good at that right up until you weren’t.
warnings — 8.1k words. 18+ Minors DNI!! (explicit sexual content, oral [m! recieving], unprotected p in v, power imbalance [attending/resident], friends with benefits dynamics, mild dom/sub dynamics, hair pulling, a lot of talking during sex, can be read as slightly coercive maybe?), hurt/comfort, commitment issues, fear of emotional intimacy, lightly implied widower undertones, age gap (jack’s 50/reader’s a resident, implied to be late twenties), jack jokes about paying for sex, alcohol
notes — this one started light in the beginning and ended pretty heavy like idk where all that came from i wrote the first half when i was in a better mood and finished it when i got this request and i guess i was just feeling like i wanted to make it hurt even more
Jack Abbot came with his perks. He’d taken you under his wing when you first joined the PTMC as a second-year-resident, and somewhere over the space of a year, he’d taken you to his bed. You’d built him as a man who lived in a sad bachelor pad with the way he’d taken you to his house after a shitty shift; no preamble, just a jerk of his head toward the parking garage and a raspy ‘come on’ that you’d followed like he was still your attending after-hours.
And fuck, you couldn’t lie and say it didn’t feel slightly good to see a floor-to-ceiling windowed penthouse and drink something amber and expensive after you’d spent the last few years of your life not seeing the other end of what your work could bring you. It was grim and improper, you knew, fucking your attending in the early hours of the morning before the sun fully rose, but you knew it was coming; half the ED had placed bets on it and Cassie and Javadi were yet to know they were right.
He’d taken you against the window the first time.
“You afraid of heights?” he’d asked, and the question moved through you like warm liquid rather than reached you. You’d shaken your head, or tried to. “No,” he’d murmured, your jaw in his hands. “Didn’t think so.”
He’d taken his prosthetic off after, wryly claiming that the position felt good but the leg disagreed. That had somehow lead to another round, slower the second time with him on his back and you set over him.
A part of you wondered often the sort of impression you’d given Jack, what he’d seen, exactly, that made him sure he could have you like this and keep it weightless. Whatever it was, it had to have been right to some degree because you’d spent more nights in his penthouse than your own apartment for the past six months without ever calling it anymore than what it was.
He was a better lay than you’d ever had. He was probably the best option around to get steam off while you worked your way through residency. It helped that he was your attending and you shared the same strange hours.
You kept the books carefully and columns balanced. Sex, sleep, the occasional terrible four a.m. meal that didn’t count because eating was maintenance, not intimacy. You never stayed for coffee — you took it to go — and you didn’t learn his middle name on purpose. You’d never seen the inside of his closet. You left before you could risk having to go to work together. A woman in trouble would linger, and you did not linger. Therefore.
But the stupid books had started running a quiet deficit you hadn’t accounted for. You knew exactly how he took his coffee. The toothbrush in the second drawer that you reached for now without looking, muscle memory in a place you’d sworn was temporary.
And even though you could admit that Jack knew his way around you and never made you ask twice for anything in that bed, that wasn’t the line item that worried you. Bodies learned bodies. It was that you’d stopped taking your coffee to go some mornings without ever noticing the change; you’d sit at his counter with a mug that was somehow yours now, and drank it there while he read something on his phone and never told you to leave. You’d started to become a woman that lingered, and even worse, one who liked to do so.
And that had to stop, because Jack had told you point-blank what this was on the first night while you were still putting on your shirt with his mouth print blooming under the fabric.
This doesn’t have to be a thing. I’m not looking to make it one. Is that alright?
He’d said the words while putting on his briefs, and you’d agreed too fast, because at that time, it had cost you nothing. You’d wanted a body and a break, and he was offering both. He’d been more honest than any man you’d let touch you. He’d told you the terms up front and never moved them.
So, you simply had to put yourself out of the arrangement.
Jack found you by your car in the parking garage. He’d put on his coat a heavy thing that should’ve swallowed him but instead he was able to fill out almost perfectly.
“Jack,” you said, trying to find an even voice as he closed the distance between you. Before he could even ask, you forced out, “I’m not going home with you.”
His brows furrowed and he looked confused. For good reason, you supposed. Friday mornings had become sort of a usual for you, the easiest compensation in your life for missing Friday nights.
“You good?” He stepped close and tipped his head, and you watched him give you a complete once-over, eyes dropping to your hands and the set of your shoulders like you were a patient. “You looked a little out of it today. Come — I’ll make you soup.”
You pinched your eyes shut at his words. “What’s that even supposed to mean — I was fine.”
“Don’t take it personal,” he said. “Come on, soup.”
“Seriously, I was fine.” You were almost offended now, which was clearly his intent, the bastard. “I’ve been awake for nineteen hours, I’m not sick —” You caught yourself getting pulled into it, defending your honor, exactly the kind of dumb circular thing you’d let him rope you into a hundred times because arguing with Jack was sometimes fun. You shut it down. “I’m not going home with you,” you said again, this time with a sharper edge.
He pursed his lips and crossed his arms over his chest, giving you another once-over as he recaliberated the situation in real time. “Did I upset you?”
“No, it’s not a fight,” you said fast. You dragged a hand down your face. “I’m not mad at you, Jack. I’m done with this. The whole — all of it.”
He tipped his chin down when you gestured vaguely with your finger between the two of you, at the whole abstract nature of you. Then, he said, “You’re calling it?”
“Yeah, very much,” you said, voice dropping a register as you leaned against the driver’s side door of your car. Then, when you saw how his brows furrowed and how he looked just slightly caught off-guard, you added, dumbly, “Sorry. I guess.”
He held your eyes a long beat, something working in his mouth, and then closed the last of the distance between you. His hand came up to your jaw, and you felt your face turn to liquid as you involuntarily leaned into it; his thumb dragged slow along your cheekbone and his gaze followed it, and you stood pinned to your own cold car door and let him, because telling him to stop would mean pretending you didn’t want it, and you’d never once been able to sell that lie for either of you.
“You mean it?” he asked, voice rough, and his forehead dropped to yours. When you nodded, he mimicked your movement. “Alright. Then let’s at least end it properly.”
When you showed no urgency to decline, his mouth found yours before you could decide whether you trusted yourself enough to end it properly. One of his hands stayed at your jaw while the other one fitted you back against the cold of the car. He smiled against your mouth, and you used your palm to push him by the chest.
He went back, just slightly, dropping his head to your forehead again. “I’m guessing that’s a yes?”
“One time,” you said quietly, almost in a whisper. “And then I mean it. It won’t change anything.”
“I believe you,” he said. “Last time, then. Make it count.”
Jack was making it obscenely difficult for you to make it count. The rhythm you’d settled into with him at around month two — the one where the two of you skipped the drink and went straight into his bed — had disappeared tonight. He just really needed a drink tonight, and then another, and then he really didn’t want to shut his mouth.
He poured the second one without offering you a top-up and stood at the window instead of coming to you, two fingers of amber catching the lamplight. You watched him and watched him, answering his questions until the two of you finally ended up in the bedroom.
He’d opened his mouth to argue something and you got his belt open instead slowly, and whatever he’d been about to say faded elsewhere. The city sat out past the glass, unblinking, that audience he never drew the blinds against. His hand found your hair, resting with his thumb at your ear, almost gentle and completely fucking distracting.
“Slow,” he murmured when you took him into your mouth, and the word came out scraped down to nothing. His head went back against the headboard. “Fuck.”
You went the opposite of slow; you knew that taking your time with it, acknowledging the last time of it all, would crack something open in your chest you couldn’t afford to have open. You did everything you knew undid him — six months of evidence, a body of proof — fast and certain, and the breath punched out of him and his fingers curled into your hair and the smug, talkative version of him went quiet for about four seconds.
“You — huh — last time. Really?” he managed to say, fingers tightening against your scalp, the blunt fingernails scraping against the skin. You slid your tongue down his length, and he let out a short groan, letting out a wrecked, “Good girl.” His hips lifted a fraction before he caught them, forcing himself still under your hands. “Good — yeah.”
You’d have smiled if your mouth wasn’t otherwise occupied, so you settled on humming around him. You let yourself think you’d won the quiet, and then his thumb moved against your temple slowly, and he ruined it.
“You really mean it?” he asked quietly, words aimed somewhere at the ceiling. “You’re done?”
You ignored him and kept your rhythm. It wasn’t a question you were going to dignify with him in your mouth and your resolve already pooled somewhere on his bedroom floor.
His hands flexed in your hair at the silence, then tugged, a frustrated little pull that went straight down your spine and that he absolutely felt you react to, because his thumb pressed flat behind your ear like he was talking to your pulse there.
“Don’t go quiet on me,” he said, rasp going uneven, breath catching somewhere between the words, his whole stomach drawn tight. You watched the muscle there jump when you took him deeper as his jaw worked. “You hear me. I know you — shit.”
You’d found the underside with the flat of your tongue you slowly dragged, and the sentence collapsed. His head dropped back and your eyes caught the tendon at his throat standing out. One of his heels dug into the mattress and you felt the tremor run up his thigh under your palm.
You’d have been lying if you said this wouldn’t be missed. Not the talking, but this, the privilege of watching Jack Abbot lose a fight with his own body, a man who controlled every room he stood in coming apart by degrees because of what you were doing. You pressed your thumb into the crease of his hip and felt him shudder. You took him to the back of your throat and swallowed and he said your name that came out of his mouth breaking.
“You’re really gonna — ” He inhaled sharply, hand fisting tighter on your head. “ — gonna do this and walk, you’re — ”
You pulled off of him with a slow, wet, and deeply unflattering sound and sat back on your heels and looked up at him, lips swollen, thoroughly out of patience, your hand still working him just enough that his hips chased it. His eyes were closed, and he let out a large exhale.
“Are you kidding me?”
He cracked an eye open, then shifted his head to the side against the pillow. “What?” he muttered.
“Why won’t you shut up?” You squeezed deliberately and his jaw clenched against the noise that almost got out of him. “You’re acting like a child.”
“Acting like a child,” he huffed, head tipping back. “I’m pretty aged out of the tantrum bracket.”
“Could’ve fooled me.” You dragged your thumb up the length of him slowly. “You’ve been throwing one since we got off.”
His hand left your hair and closed around your wrist instead — the one still working him — stilling it, and then he was pulling with his unarguable strength, drawing you up over him until you had to crawl up his body or be dragged.
You ended up straddling his waist. He stayed flat on his back beneath you, one arm folding behind his head while the other spread warm and heavy over your thigh, and he looked up at you with his chest still heaving and the gray stark at his temples.
“Better,” he muttered. “Neck was startin’ to go, watching you be stubborn down there.” The hand on your thigh slid up slowly, settling at your hip, thumb working a lazy circle into the bone. He tilted his chin up slightly. “What’s this really about?”
You went still because you had too much of an answer, and it was the sort of one that you didn’t believe could survive being said out loud over a man who’d made it clear exactly what this was on day one.
“You know,” you said.
“Maybe. But humor me.” His eyes stayed on your face, looking patient as ever, as the circle of his thumb continued moving. “Thought we had something nice going and now — ” He tilted his head slightly against the pillow. “So, what’s going on up in that pretty little head of yours?”
“I want more than this,” you said plainly. “That’s what’s in my head. I want the whole thing — the relationship and dates and stuff. I think I’ve got enough time to — get into that.”
“Yeah?” he said, voice coming out in a breath His thumb stilled on your hip. He looked up at you and his other hand came up and pushed a piece of your hair back off your cheek.
You had to press your lips together, because you obviously weren’t expecting him to offer, and yet you’d been holding your breath anyway.
“Yeah,” you said. “I do.”
His hand stayed on your cheek a moment longer, the pad of his thumb resting just under your eye. Then his hand dropped back to your hip where it was safe.
“You should,” he said after a moment, swallowing. “Get into that. You’ve got the time.”
“That’s it?”
“What do you want me to say?” His hands flexed at your hip, his hips still beneath yours and the want still humming under all of it. “Not gonna talk you out of one thing you actually deserve. Even I’m not that selfish.” His brows furrowed, like he’d just processed his own words. “Most days.”
His hand left your hip and found your waist, and then he was turning you, guiding you off of him onto the side on the mattress beside him, leaving the two of you laying facing each other in the gold dark. His thigh slid between yours.
This close, you could see everything you usually didn't get to study: the silver threaded through the stubble at his jaw, the small white seam of an old scar through one eyebrow, the way the lines around his eyes weren't from laughing. He had one arm folded under his head and the other draped heavy over your hip, fingers spread at the small of your back, and he just looked at you, the want and the conversation both still hanging in the air between you, neither resolved.
“S’it somebody at work?” he asked. “Has to be. You don’t have time yet to meet anyone who isn’t.”
You shook your head slightly against the pillow, and your brows furrowed together at the idea. “No — no one. I haven’t met anyone yet.”
He huffed. His eyes dropped from yours to somewhere near your collarbone, then came back up.
He turned his face toward the pillow for a second, as if to hide his face from you, then met your eyes again. “You’d rather have no one than me, huh?”
“Wow,” you breathed out in almost a gasp. You pulled back an inch against the pillow to look at him properly. “Now that’s mean, Jack. I can find someone, you know.”
“Yeah?” His brow lifted, scar catching the light. “Course you can.” His hand slid off your hip and down, palming the back of your thigh, drawing your knee up over his. “Always hear someone in the hospital talking about you.”
“Don’t patronize me.”
“M’not.” He hitched your leg higher, fitting himself into the space it opened, and you felt the blunt heat of him press where you were already aching for it, rubbing slowly against your folds. “I mean it. It’s about time you got out from this old man.”
“Don’t call yourself that.”
He dragged the length of him through you again, catching you over and over where you wanted him and not giving it. “It’s what I am. Fifty, boring life, no good to you past this.” His mouth ghosted the corner of yours, breath warm and uneven. “You should be out with someone who can give you the whole thing. I’ve already done my time.”
You could do it again, you wanted to say. You could be the whole thing. But the words sat behind your teeth, because you already knew what he’d say and do if you’d said them, and you couldn’t take hearing it kindly. Especially not with him notched against you like this when it was supposed to be the last time.
You let your hand find his jaw instead, the rough of the stubble, the silver, and you watched his eyes flicker at the touch, at how your lips moved from one side to the other as you tried to keep the words down. It seemed like he’d understood whatever you didn’t say.
“Yeah, baby,” he muttered and pressed his thumb to the back of your thigh, eyes fluttering shut at the touch of you. “I know.”
He pushed in then, slow, all the way, mid-breath like it was just the next thing between you. The shudder rolled clean through him as he sank into you, his exhale breaking ragged against your mouth. Your spine arched off the mattress. His arm hooked under the small of your back and dragged you flush, no space left, no air, the two of you pressed chest to chest in the gold hush.
“Fuck,” he breathed against your mouth, holding there, buried to the hilt and not moving as he felt you clench around him. “Spoiling me rotten and then telling me you’re leaving.”
“Shut up now — ”
He drew back slow and sank back in deep, and the sound you made came out somewhere against his shoulder. Each roll of his hips pressed you up the sheets. “Get me used to this and then — what? Go hand it to someone who hasn’t earned it.” He laughed brokenly against your throat. “Selfish girl.”
You got a fistful of his hair and pulled, hard enough that his breath stuttered. “Go find — someone else yourself,” you said through your teeth, because opening your mouth seemed like something embarrassing would follow. “You’re not lacking options — ”
“But I like having my cake,” he breathed, and there was almost a laugh under it. “Eating it, too.”
“Gross,” you mumbled against him.
One month was meant to be enough time. Lying awake the first week, you’d assumed it’d take thirty days to unlearn a person. It had worked on the obvious things. You’d stopped reaching for your phone at the end-of-shift and stopped seeking him out by the lockers. You’d slept in your own bed and not found it lacking, mostly. But nobody warned you that being in a car for four hours would call it all into question.
One month of calling him Dr. Abbot across the bay, crisp and so weightless, handing him a chart without your fingers brushing his. You’d gotten good at it. Then Robby floated the conference. Some emergency medicine thing four hours upstate; a block of credits, a hotel with a conference rate, a chance to put PowerPoint slides between yourself and the actual work for two days. Dana volunteered the department van before anyone could think of a reason not to, already half out of her scrubs spiritually, determined to get a few days of being a person instead of a charge nurse.
Like these things usually did, the seating assembled itself, which was to say it was assembled badly. Robby drove while Dana drove shotgun. Trinity somehow won the entire back row. And the middle row was you, Dennis, and Jack.
You in the middle, because the universe worked in fucked-up ways. In this case, the universe was named Dana.
“You’ll fit,” Dana had said, and pressed a duffel of granola bars into your arms like a consolation prize, steering you into the gap between the two men before you could mount a defense.
You fit pressed thigh-to-thigh with Jack Abbot for four hours up interstate, his arm slung along the seatback behind you because there was genuinely nowhere else for a man his size’s arms to put it, the heat of him bleeding through your sleeve like a low fever. You knew that arm. You knew the weight of it, the places where his hand fell when it wasn’t thinking about where it fell. It was a quarter-inch from touching you, which was worse than actually touching you, and you suspected he knew that, too.
The van pulled out of the lot at five in the morning. Dennis had his headphones in before the drive even started. Up front, Dana was already arguing with Robby about the music. Trinity was sprawled in the whole back row to herself, scrolling on her phone.
Thirty minutes into the drive, Jack broke the seal.
“Excited?” he asked, eyes still out the window, profile flat and bored as anything. His voice was pitched low enough that it lived in the space between his mouth and your ear and nowhere else.
You kept your head tipped back against the seat. “More excited about sleeping in a comfortable bed than the conference.”
His brows narrowed as he turned to look at you. “Some Marriot-adjacent mattress? You’re aiming low.”
“It’s horizontal and not on-call. I’m easy to please.”
“Since when?” he drawled, bone-dry, eyes going back to the window. But his thigh had pressed a degree closer against yours, a shift you couldn’t call a thing without admitting you were keeping track. Up-front, Dana won whatever argument she’d been having and something with a heavy bassline filled the van. Jack let the noise ring and leaned half-an-inch closer that nobody would ever catch. “You used to say my sheets were scratchy.”
“For a man with that penthouse, they were scratchy — ”
“Finally,” he breathed out, satisfied, like he’d been fishing for exactly that and reeled it in. Something in his face eased and you hated, a little, how much you wanted to have done that. “I almost forgot you’d been in it.”
God. You hadn’t forgotten anything. That was the whole problem. You knew the place, the cold floor on the way to the bathroom, the exact freckles on his chest up close. You knew he wore a ring you had never once asked about and he’d never once explained, and that you’d both kept your eyes politely off the subject the way you keep your eyes off a wound that wasn’t yours to dress. You knew all of it, and all you could do was keep promising yourself it didn’t count anymore.
“Can we stop at the next exit?” Trinity said from the back. “I need coffee and the bathroom. In that order.”
Dana hummed. “There’s a Sheetz coming up in ten. That good?” She looked through the map on her phone. “Everybody go when we stop. We’re not pulling off twice.”
“Works for me,” Robby said.
Dennis plugged out one of his earphones and glanced over everyone in the car. “We’re stopping?”
“Yup,” Dana confirmed. “Bathroom, snacks, ten minutes, back in the van. Whitaker, you want anything, you decide now.”
Dennis considered, then put his earphone back on, apparently deciding the whole thing was beneath the commitment.
Jack leaned in from beside you, barely. “Single stall in the back of those places, you know?” he said, voice low, barely audible over the music. “There’s a lock on the door and everything.”
You kept your eyes on the windshield in front of you. “Weird thing to know off the top of your head.”
His thigh pressed warm against yours through the curve of an off-ramp that didn’t strictly require it. “How much would it take?” His eyes flickered back out to the window, even as his shoulder now pressed up against yours. “You and me in there. Ten minutes. Name a number.”
“Can’t be bought.” You forced your eyes to the windshield. “Sorry. Not for sale.”
“No?” His voice dipped, amused. “Everybody’s got a price.”
“Not me.” You turned your head and found him already closer than he’d been a second ago. “You really think you could afford me?”
“Could take a run at it.”
“Wouldn’t get far.”
“Fifty,” he said, and you could see the slight grin crawling onto his lips.
You let out a short laugh, then immediately pressed your mouth over your lips before it became any louder. “I don’t get out of bed for fifty dollars, Abbot, let alone on my knees.”
“Oof.” He winced, mock-wounded, dragging a hand over his chest. “Expensive date.”
“It’s never a date with you.”
He bit his lip at that, eyes raking over you, the grin caught behind his teeth. “Right. Hundred, then.”
“I’m gonna report you to HR. You’re my attending.”
“Good luck with filling out the history we have for that.”
You turned to look at him, and let your mouth curl. “You really think I’m the sort of girl to do it in a gas station bathroom?”
You watched the grin go still on his face, watched his eyes drop to your mouth and drag back up, the warmth in them tipping into something darker. “Would you?”
You scoffed, shaking your head. “In your dreams, Jack.”
“Frequently,” he said, not missing a second. “Vividly, too.”
You leaned in enough to feel his breath catch. “Keep dreaming, then. It’s all you’re getting.”
You sat back before he could answer, fingers playing with the seatbelt, sweet as anything.
“Christ.” He dragged a hand down over his jaw, his head tipping back against the seat and looked at you sideways through the gray morning light, and the bit fell off his face. “Missed you.”
Before you could even process the words with his attention on you, because he was who he was, his jaw worked once and looked back out the window, ending it himself before you could, handing the silence back to you to do with it what you pleased.
Your chest squeezed just slightly at that, and you had to be the one to force yourself to look away, catching sight of Dennis’s head bumping against the window as he soundly slept, oblivious, lucky.
At some point past the gas station you lost the fight with your own exhaustion. Nineteen hours of being awake before the drive, and the van was warm, and the bassline had mellowed into something Dana hummed underneath her breath, and the road had gone smooth — almost hypnotic — interstates often did when they’d gone out of the clutches of the city. You’d meant to stay awake. You’d made the small private rule about it, too; you went under anyway, somewhere between a stretch of dead farmland and the next, your head listing by degrees toward the warm solid thing on your left because your body, again, moving without giving a single shit about how you felt.
When you surfaced, it happened slowly. The light had changed; it was full morning now, white and flat through the windshield. Your cheek was pressed against something that rose and fell in a long, even rhythm, and your brain took its time arriving to the fact of it. You’d fallen asleep on Jack's chest. One month clean and your face was tucked into the seam of his jacket like it had never stopped being there.
You weren’t proud of how you didn’t want to move just yet, so you didn’t move.
You could feel his breathing under your cheek, slow enough that he might have been asleep, too. There was a smell to him you’d made yourself forget and were now remembering, completely against your will. It was nothing fancy, just clean cotton and something warm. The Gatorade bottle you’d been clutching was in the cupholder against your knee now, and you had no memory putting it there. Which meant there was a slight chance Jack had worked it out of your sleeping hand at some point so it wouldn’t tip into your lap, and set it down.
You cracked one eye to assess the damage to your dignity. Dennis had leaned in the same stretch of road, toward you, hood up and mouth open, gone to the world. And somewhere in all that, Jack’s arm, the long span of it along the seatback, had come down around you with his hand had ended up resting flat on the top of Dennis’s skull, holding it off your shoulder, fingers spread over the kid’s hair like a melon he was deciding whether to buy.
You’d furrowed your brows at the arrangement, reeling, when the camera shutter went off.
Jack came awake all at once. He always did; he was never groggy, never had a transition. It was like there was an off and on button to him, as though his nervous system had been trained somewhere that didn’t allow the luxury of waking up slowly. He clocked it in a half second: the phone, you against his chest, the unexplained weight under his own palm. He followed his arm down to where his hand was cradling a sleeping resident’s head and his face crumpled slightly.
He smacked it off, open-palmed, off the top of Dennis’s skull.
“Ow.” Dennis jolted awake, flailing upright, a crease pressed into his cheek from your sleeve. “What — Dr. Abbot — what —”
“Wrong shoulder, kid,” Jack said.
“I wasn’t —” Dennis took in the angle for himself and recoiled. “Sorry. God. Sorry.”
You’d started to sit up to peel yourself off Jack’s chest and salvage some dignity to sit back into the cold neutral air of your own seat where you belonged. His palm came up to your forehead and pushed you back down against him.
“Not you,” he said. His hand stayed flat on your forehead. “You’re fine where you are.”
You reached up and pulled his hand off your forehead, sitting up out of the warmth of him.
“C’mon,” he said quietly, under the music, softer than a command.
You paused with your hand still around his wrist and turned to look at him full-on. He was already looking at you, none of the previous needling present in his face.
You shook your head once, a small gesture. You didn’t trust the words to come out the way they needed to, so you let your face carry it instead.
He held your eyes a second, then his jaw shifted slightly and the corner of his mouth went to a worn-down half of a smile. He gave you the smallest nod. His eyes fell shut and he tipped his head back with a small shake of his head as he eased his wrist out of your hand.
You put your hands in your lap where they couldn’t get you in trouble, and stared out at the flat white morning coming up over the interstate, and made sure to not look at him again.
The conference threw a networking event the first evening, which meant a low-lit ball room, a cash bar charging eleven dollars for wine that came from a box, and a couple hundred physicians standing around in lanyards pretending they’d be here without the boxed wine.
You’d lost the group almost immediately. Dana was drawn to a cluster of people she knew in a previous life; Robby to someone he’d done a residency with; Dennis to the food; Trinity to one of her college buddies. It left you working the edge of the room with a plastic cup of wine, doing a slow orbit as you read badges, when a man peeled off a nearby conversation and aimed at you.
He was older. Closer to Jack’s range, give or take. He had silver coming in at the temples and an unbothered ease that made you wonder if he’d ever had it hard. His badge put him outside Columbus. He had a good face and seemed aware of it without leaning on it, and no wear that graced his features; a man who slept fine, you assumed, and didn’t own a single thing he refused to speak about.
“Pace yourself with that,” he said, tipping his own glass in the direction of yours. “It comes up to you pretty quickly.”
“Bit late for that,” you said, lifting the cup up an inch. “This is already number three.”
“Then I’m too late to save you and might as well make it worse,” he said, offering a hand. “Mark. Philly. I run the shop out there.”
You introduced yourself. He had a good handshake, dry and brief, none of the holding-on the men sometimes did at these things.
He tipped his head to look at your badge. “Pittsburgh Trauma. You like it?”
“Most days.”
He shrugged. “Anybody who says every day is lying or hasn’t been doing it long enough.” He took a sip and let his eyes come back to your face. “Let me guess. Senior resident. Somebody made you come.”
You were going to say something back—you had something, you’d half-built it—and then there was a hand at the small of your back. You knew the weight of it, the breadth, where the fingers fell. It settled low against your spine and stayed, warm through the dress.
“Mark,” Jack said from beside you. He had a club soda in his free hand and an easy nothing on his face. “Jack Abbot. Pittsburgh.”
“Jack.” Mark did a quick thing, the hand, the half-step Jack had folded into the space between you without seeming to take it, the way you hadn't stepped out from under his palm. Something recalibrated behind his face, pleasant and unhurried. He stuck the hand out anyway. “I think I’ve read you —” He referenced one of Jack’s studies you knew all too well, something he’d handed over to you once in his bed like it was a bedtime story.
“That’s me.” Jack took the handshake. His thumb moved once at your spine, where the angle hid it from the third person entirely. “Philly? You inherit the department or build it?”
“Little bit of both. Mostly inherited the problems,” he said lightly. “You enjoying the conference?”
“It’s a conference,” Jack said, lifting his glass half-an-inch. Then, his head tilted in your direction. “You know this one’s my best trauma resident? I’d put her on anything. Watched her run a procedure last month half the seniors I came up with couldn’t have called that fast.”
“That so?” Mark looked at you again, interest sharpened. “He doesn’t seem the type to hand those out.”
“He’s nice to everyone.”
“She’s underselling it.” Jack’s hand spread a degree wider at your back, the heel of his palm settling into the dip of your spine, fingers easy along your hip. “You’ll be reading her name in a couple years and remembering you met her here, of all places.”
It got the laugh Jack wanted it to. Mark took a sip, easy, regrouping, and you watched him do the math the way smooth men do—fast, behind a pleasant face—and land on a play.
“Well.” He tilted the glass toward Jack. “I won’t monopolize you. I’m sure you’ve got the room to work — everybody wants a minute at these things.”
The thumb that had been moving at your back stilled, and Jack’s features crossed into something amused as he narrowed his brows at the man.
“S’alright,” he said pleasantly. “Got everyone I need right here.”
Mark recaliberated again, watching him take Jack’s measure one more time; the hand, the half-inch of space that hardly qualified as space. You watched him arrive to the easy conclusion that whatever was happening here had been decided before he ever walked over.
“Fair enough,” he said, setting his empty cup down at the nearest high-top. “Pleasure. Good luck with the residency.” He nodded at you, then to Jack. “Abbot.” And then he was gone, folding back into the room, off to find the next conversation that wasn’t already spoken for.
Jack’s hand was still on your back, and you stepped out from under it. You turned to face him, and felt the thing that had been climbing in you all night finally find a target.
“Why would you do that?” you asked, shaking your head and pressing your lips shut to keep yourself from saying anything more.
“Do what?” he said mildly, the glass loose in his hand.
“Don’t.” You kept your face arranged for the room, tamping down your voice so it wouldn’t carry over to strangers. “You know what you did. You’re not stupid.”
“I said you were good at your job.” He had the gall to look reasonable. “Becuase you are.”
“That’s not what it was and you know it — thank you.” Your jaw tightened. “You don’t get to walk over and put your hand on me when I’m talking to another man and act like — ” Your fingers moved between the two of you, a small and sharp movement. “ — like you’ve got any claim. We agreed to this a month ago.”
Jack’s lips pressed in a thin line at the words, and his eyes raked over your face. “He’d have you in his bed by ten,” he said, calmer now. “Guys like that — it’s their whole game at places like this. One night, gone by checkout. You didn’t lose anything worth keeping.”
Your brows furrowed at that, and you felt something go hot in your neck. “Yeah?” you asked, voice going quieter. “Isn’t that what you were?”
He looked away for a second, one hand coming up to rub over the bottom half of his face. “If you can’t tell the difference between me and a guy like that,” he said evenly, and there was something genuinely stung underneath as his eyes met yours, “then I really don’t know what to tell you.”
“Maybe there isn’t one.”
His face twisted at that, and he let out a disbelieved laugh. “That’s how you think of me?”
“That’s not — ” You stopped, because his face had knocked something loose in you and you had no idea what you thought anymore. “That’s not what I said.”
“It sounded a hell of a lot like it.” He shook his head. “Six months and you’re putting me next to a guy you met ten minutes ago. Alright.”
“Jack — ”
“You wanted it, too. Okay?” When you let out a small ‘what?’ he continued, “You heard me. You’re acting like you just went along with it, and you never once asked for more either.” His voice had dropped low, and he’d walked closer to you before you even realized. “You never once asked for more until the night you walked. So don’t put it all on me.”
“I asked,” you said, voice cracking just slightly, and you looked around the room to see if anyone was close to you. “You were the one who told me to go find someone else. You said you’re no good past what we were doing.”
“I said it because it’s true,” he said quickly, dragging a hand down his face. “I’m not the guy you build the rest of your life around. I tried to do the decent thing.”
“Then stand on that,” you said. “You don’t get to tell me to find someone and stop it the second anyone shows up. Pick one. You don’t get to keep me in your life like this forever because you can’t stand to either let me in or go.”
“I’m trying to do right by you,” he said roughly.
You pressed two fingers above your eyelid, shaking your head. “Why are you doing this?” You shoulders came up to your ears. “I don’t — it was never going to be us, Jack. You said so yourself. I don’t get why — I need to move on.”
He closed his eyes at that for a moment. “I know you do,” he said quietly, the fight gone all out of him. His eyes flickered down to his hand for a second, then made a loose fist out of them. “I — can we go somewhere else?” He leaned in slightly, body stiffening up. Reading the hesitation on your face, he said, “Please.”
You’d watched him avoid the word in a dozen rooms, so you nodded slowly and forced yourself to not look too hard at why. You couldn’t, because if you stopped to let yourself consider it, it’d make your body hurt even more, and you’d still do it.
The stairwell was the only door on the floor that wasn’t a room or a lobby. It was fire-exit cold, raw concrete, a fluorescent light overhead. The reception came up through the floor as bass and nothing else, the words gone out of it. The door sucked shut behind you both and took the noise with it. You both walked four floors up, apparently neither of you being ready to do anything about it. And then there was simply the buzz of the bad light and Jack, six months and one month and four floors and a whole conference away from you, standing with his back to the cinderblock and his hands jammed in his pockets.
You crossed your arms and your eyes involuntarily flickered up to the ceiling because you weren’t sure you could talk. But when he let the silence drag on, too, you said, “Jack — ”
“Did you want it to be me?” he said immediately, like your voice had spurred him into action.
“What?”
“The whole thing you said you want. Dates, the rest of it.” His body was stiff against the wall. “Was that — did you ever imagine me, or just, someone else. Someone who would.”
You took in a shaky breath. “You.” It came out more plainly than you’d expected, like your body had been ready to be rid of it, to place it somewhere in the open. “I left because I wanted more — with you, and you made it pretty clear I could never have that.”
His hands jammed in his pockets. The light buzzed overhead, that sick fluorescent flutter, and somewhere four floors down the reception kept going, two hundred people who'd never know this was happening over their heads.
“I don’t think I can give you that,” he said.
“Okay.” You forced yourself to nod, and your eyes went hot. “Thanks for telling me that, then.”
He raised a palm just enough that it caught in your eyesight. “I didn’t — didn’t say I never wanted to. Don’t think that.” He tilted his neck up to meet your eyes properly. “Wanting you that way wasn’t hard. I’ve been doing that against my own advice the entire time.”
He'd come off the wall a step without seeming to know he'd done it, and his face had lost the arrangement it usually wore, the bored set of it, and underneath was something you'd caught glimpses of and never the whole of. His eyes shifted to the wall, the stenciled number, anywhere but you.
“I did years of this already. And it ended about as badly as it could end.” He laughed wryly, no humor in it. “I stopped letting myself want things — I thought it’s a lot easier to get through a night if there’s nothing you’d be hurt to lose.” His muscles tensed on his face, the lines deepening as he pinched his eyes shut and shook his head. “Feels like I’m losing you, and it hurts like hell.” He looked up at the ceiling. “I don’t know when it happened. It wasn’t meant to.”
You pressed a finger against the underside of your eye then, determined to catch anything that could possibly leak out.
“But you don’t know if you can do it,” you said, words coming out shakily.
He tugged his bottom lip between his teeth and shook his head slowly. “No,” he said honestly, and it was worse than any lie he could’ve told. “I don’t know.”
You nodded again, because there was nothing else for you to do.
“But — but, I don’t wanna lose what I’ve got with you,” he admitted, voice dropping into something shameful. “I know that the nights you’re not on are longer. And if I can’t have you, I want you to know you do that for me. It started being pretty serious a long time ago — for me, too.”
The light fluttered overhead and you let the finger drop from under your eye, gave up on holding it, let whatever wanted to come just come. Somehow, they were words you’d always wanted to hear and yet they arrived wrong, off-rhythm. You’d kept careful track of everything he wouldn’t give you, a whole running tally of it, and he'd just gone and paid the entire balance in one breath in the worst-lit room, and the awful part — the part that made your blood run even hotter — was that it counted. It counted, anyway.
“So what do we do with that?” you said. “I don’t — I don’t know where that leaves us.”
He was quiet for a moment. You watched him sit in the question instead of dodging it, which was new, which was maybe the most he’d ever given you in one night.
“I’d want to try,” he said finally, words careful, like he was setting something down that might break. “Not the old way. I mean the other thing. What you wanted.” He let out a breath. “If you still want it. I wasn’t very great the first time, and I’m out of practice, too.”
You wiped your cheek, and winced as you felt your hand scrub at your skin a little too roughly. “You were okay with it a month ago — ”
“It hurt,” he said immediately. “It hurt, you walking out. I didn’t have anything better than to let you, but don’t — don’t think it didn’t.”
He moved when you didn’t respond, stepping closer than the conversation needed. His hands came up and settled at your arms, just below the shoulders, loose, holding you in place or holding himself there, you couldn't tell which, maybe both.
“Let me try,” he said roughly. His thumbs moved once against your arms. “I want to learn this with you.”
You looked up at him. He held it — your eyes, the closeness, all of it — instead of glancing off the way he had all night. You realized distantly that this was a sort of contract you’d be signing, and he was laying out the option for you to not do so.
“You can’t disappear on me,” you said instead of considering the second option, “when it gets hard. I don’t ever want to feel like I made up something I didn’t.”
He nodded stiffly. “If I do, you can drag me back out.”
His forehead came down, to the top of your head, his chin resting in your hair, his arms folding the rest of the way around you like he'd finally run out of reasons not to. You felt him breathe out, the whole tense length of him going down an inch against you.
“Just let me try,” he said again, into your hair, voice a whisper. “Please. I’m asking. I don’t do that a lot.”
summary: after a risqué encounter with you at the bar, jack abbot can’t get you out of his head. and then you show up in one of his lectures as his student. and then you two navigate an interesting 'casual' relationship, until your emotionally avoidant asses get, well... attached.
wc: 13k words
warnings: 18+, dom!jack & sub!reader, switching pov, lots of fingering, rubbing over underwear, premature ejaculation (coming in pants), mentions of oral (fem!receiving), guiding through a blowjob, loss of virginity, sex on a table, calling him dr abbot, sir + brief daddy kink, light choking, all of the sexy stuff happens in his office. jack is a widow, brief angst in the middle but love confessions later (!!), hurt/comfort, jack is jealous and possessive but has an #ethicaldilemma: the fic
a/n: i tried to be vague with the backstory, but reader craves academic validation, doesn’t have many friends, has implied familial issues and is introverted and avoidant. seeing the pics of him literally sent me into heat i fear i’ll never recover and so naturally i churned out this incredibly self indulgent fic during my finals aha can u tell i'm suffering from academic stress? #anyways have fun pls be nice. not beta read. | divider credits: @strangergraphics | soundtrack: fuck it i love you by lana del ray
Jack Abbot had always been a man of remarkable composure, the sort of composure that had been his armour, carefully built after the death of his wife, reinforced brick by brick through routine, discipline, and relentless work.
While other men sought comfort in distractions, Jack prided himself in the fact that he buried himself in academia. Entire nights disappeared beneath journal articles, lecture plans, and grading sociology essays, until the loneliness that waited for him at home was little more than a dull ache he could almost ignore.
Last week at the bar, well, that had been a mistake. A brief lapse in judgement, that's all. One too many whiskeys after a particularly long week and a pretty young thing asking him for help with some creep who wouldn't leave her alone - what exactly had he been supposed to do? Ignore her? Tell her she was on her own? Any decent man would've stepped in, at least that's what Jack keeps telling himself.
The problem is that a week later, he still can't get you out of his head.
He remembers the dress first. God, that dress. The dark fabric had clung to your figure, hugging every curve, and he'd spent the entire evening irritated with himself for noticing at all.
He remembers the way the dip of your waist had fit beneath his palm when he'd guided you behind him, the startling softness of you, the instinctive way you'd moved closer when the man started getting aggressive. The tiny stutter in your breathing as he'd told the asshole to ‘fuck off and stop bothering his girl’ in a gruff voice, the way you'd looked up at him with those wide eyes, somewhere between embarrassed and grateful, as though he had done something remarkable when all he'd really done was the bare minimum.
Worst of all, he hates that he remembers the warmth of your body as he pinned you against the wall of the men's bathroom, mouths hovering over each other, not kissing, but breathing in wine-tinted lips.
God, the way your warm walls stretched around his fingers, your clit under his thumb, still made him achingly hard. Jerking off in the shower had been futile ever since that night, ever since he felt your soft fingers around his cock, your moans spilling into his mouth. And your soft whines when he called you a good girl, fuck. He’s hard, again, in the middle of reading through the PHD proposals sent his way. He sighs, pulling his cock out his pants.
It was becoming ridiculous. Which is precisely why he is looking forward to the start of semester.
But the universe has a fucked up way of derailing his plans. By the time he arrives at the lecture hall the next morning, coffee balanced in one hand and laptop tucked beneath his arm, he's almost managed to convince himself that the entire thing was behind him.
Then he walks through the door. The lecture hall blurs into meaningless shapes and colours, and in the centre of it sits you.
The girl he couldn’t take out of his brain for the past seven days.
Jack forces his legs forward, somehow making it to the front of the room without visibly embarrassing himself. He places his coffee on the desk. Sets down his laptop. Connects the HDMI cable twice because he misses the port the first time. His fingers feel too clammy, his pulse too fast.
Jack opens his mouth to introduce himself.
"My name is-"
But the words die there. Because he makes the mistake of looking back at you, again.
Those same eyes he'd spent an entire week trying to unsuccessfully forget are fixed directly on his, wide with disbelief.
For a fraction of a second his mind goes entirely blank. Then your eyebrows lift. Just slightly.
And he realises with a jolt of horror that you've noticed the way his words catch. Jesus Christ.
He clears his throat and looks away, pretending to adjust something on his laptop despite the fact that absolutely nothing needs adjusting, acutely aware of the warmth crawling up the back of his neck, and onto his cheeks. It's ridiculous. Completely ridiculous.
He's a respected academic pushing fifty years old, not some nervous graduate tutor fumbling his way through his first class.
"My name is Dr Jack Abbot," he says again, his voice steadier this time, lower too, the words settling more naturally now that he's managed to regain some semblance of control. "I'm the lead lecturer for the sociology department.”
His eyes catch yours.
“It'll be my greatest pleasure to work with all of you this semester."
You’re this close to fucking shitting your pants.
The sexy old man that had fucked the shit out of you with his fingers, while you could barely wrap your hands around his girthy cock in the corner of a dingy bathroom, was your professor. He was in front of you speaking in a voice too gravelly for his own good, and donned in what you’d deem an outfit way too slutty.
Tweed blazer that somehow actually showed how broad he was, how fat and juicy his biceps were. A soft wool polo underneath that stretched around his fat pecs.
And those brown pants, for fucks sake, those pants should be an abobination. You could see the bulge of his dick, the print, as he moved around the room.
What’s worse though? His fat fucking fingers. As he gesticulates while talking about the content, which you don’t give a fuck about, all you can think about is how they felt inside of you, curling up to reach that sweet spot, and making you come faster and harder than your vibrator.
As the flashbacks of him pounding into you fade, and you focus, you see something black and shiny glinting as it catches the overhead lights. You blink. Adorning one of those delicious fingers, is a ring. Fuck. It’s a wedding ring.
You stare at it for a second too long before immediately snapping your gaze back to your laptop. Heat floods your face. You rack your brain trying to remember whether he'd been wearing it that night. You don't think so, you're almost certain he wasn't. Yeah, he definitely didn’t have it on that night in the bar, you would’ve felt it against your pussy, that fucking slut.
You clench your jaw and look away, typing away to start making notes. You’d hooked up with an older married geratric. Yeah, maybe you should just drop out. Hurl yourself off the chair and out the door and withdraw from your course and fade into the abyss and die in a hole.
But what's worse is the way your cunt is clenching around nothing at the thought of this older man fucking you with his fingers while he had a wife at home- no, stop. How deeply unfeminist of you. You cunt.
Yet still, when you look up and accidentally make eye contact with Jack Abbot, it feels like a punch to the vagina.
By the time the lecture ends, Jack has spent nearly two hours forcing himself not to look at you. It has been a miserable failure. Not an obvious one, nobody in the room would have noticed. Years of teaching and having to discreetly catch students on their phones have made him an expert at disguising where his attention is actually resting.
But every time his gaze swept across the theatre, every time a student asked a question, every time laughter rippled through the room, some part of him remained acutely aware of where you were sitting.
Which is precisely why, as students begin packing their bags and filtering towards the exits, he decides to do something incredibly stupid.
He tells himself it isn't stupid. He tells himself it's necessary. Professional, even.
After all, the two of you know each other in some capacity. There was the bar, there was what occurred inside of that bar, that lapse in judgement. There is now the unfortunate reality that you are one of his students. A conversation needs to happen. Boundaries need to be established, expectations clarified.
At least that's the excuse he gives himself. The truth is considerably less flattering. The truth is that he wants an excuse to speak to you.
He calls out your name. The words leave his mouth before he can reconsider them.
You freeze halfway through sliding your laptop into your bag. For a second you look almost startled that he's addressed you directly. Then your eyes meet his, startled.
"Could you stay for a moment?"
Several students glance between the two of you before continuing out the door. Jack immediately regrets saying it publicly. Excellent start, Abbot.
By the time the last student leaves, you're making your way slowly towards the front of the room, one loop of your backpack slung on your shoulder.
As you slow to a stop in front of him, his eyes map your face. Your wide eyes, your slightly messy hair, the shape of your lips- Stop. Jesus Christ.
He forcibly redirects his gaze towards his laptop on the podium. Professional. Remember, professional.
"You wanted to see me?" you ask softly.
Jack clears his throat.
"Right. Yes."
Very articulate.
"I just thought it would be best if we acknowledged..." He gestures vaguely between the two of you. "The situation."
You blink.
"The situation?"
"The fact that we've met before."
"Oh."
You glance down at the strap of your bag, fingers tightening around it.
"Yeah. I noticed."
The dry response catches him completely off guard. A smile threatens at the corner of his mouth.
"Um, sorry, Dr Abbot," you add quickly, stumbling over the words. "I didn't mean to make things weird."
Jack immediately shakes his head.
"No, it's okay. You're good."
Dr Abbot. Dr Abbot. His brain plays your lips wrapping around his name again and again, perhaps in more precarious positions. He rubs his neck, looking away, willing for his cock to stop fucking stiffening.
"I just wanted to clarify," he starts carefully, "I'd appreciate it if what happened stayed private."
Your eyes immediately narrow, apparently offended.
"Dr Abbot, I'm not stupid."
His eyebrows lift at your sudden confidence. He puts his hands out in front of him in defence.
"I wasn't suggesting-"
"No, I know," you interrupt. Then your eyes widen, immediately looking mortified for interrupting him. "Sorry. I just mean... I'm not exactly planning on standing up in tutorials and announcing that I fu- I met my professor in a bar."
Jack closes his mouth. Fair point. And suddenly he becomes aware of how ridiculous he sounds.
You aren't the problem here. You haven't done anything. If anything, you're handling this better than he is. This sort of “casualness” is probably the usual for someone as beautiful as you, as young and brilliant.
"Right," he says finally.
A silence settles between you as he continues staring you down.
You shift your weight awkwardly beneath his gaze, looking everywhere except directly at him now, and suddenly he's struck by how young you seem standing there.
Then, before he can stop himself, in some hope to keep you standing there in front of him, he hears himself say, "If you ever need help with coursework, though, my office hours are listed on the syllabus."
The second the words leave his mouth, he knows they weren't necessary. Your eyes flicker up to his face in shock, before immediately dropping back down again. Interesting.
For someone who'd managed to argue with him thirty seconds ago, you seem remarkably incapable of holding eye contact for more than a few moments.
Then you nod, still staring at the floor.
"Okay."
"Okay. Yeah, good."
Another silence. Neither of you moves, seems entirely unsure on how to end the conversation. Eventually you shift your bag higher up, and take a small step backwards.
"I should go."
"Yes, thank you for staying back."
You hesitate for a second, then whisper as you turn and walk away from him.
“Goodbye, Dr Abbot.”
Jack stares at your ass through your jeans as you depart, he can’t help it. You sick, sick old man, Abbot.
The second you're gone, he drops his head down, groans, rubs a hand over his scruff.
That conversation was supposed to make things better, supposed to reassure him that whatever happened at that bar was firmly in the past.
Instead, all it has accomplished is proving that being around you is a nightmare.
It's been four weeks since that conversation and you cannot get him out of your head. Every time you enter those lectures where he stands in the front of the room with another blazer, another pair of form fitting pants, twice a week, you leave with a pool of slick.
You refuse to acknowledge the way he looked at you when you let your attitude slip, his furrowed brows, hazel eyes narrowing. He looked… mad almost. Like he wanted to tame you. Of course you're being delusional, he has a wife for fucks sake.
And weeks of observing him has made you realise that he has an immense proclivity for eye contact, with everyone. Basically, you’re not special.
And, so your avoidant ass refuses to take him up on that offer to see him at his office. You’re doing well academically, you presume, in all your subjects. Which is not surprising given it's the only thing you’ve got going for you, being an antisocial chud, but these days, rather than studying, a lot of your time is spent replaying that night in the bar. The sense of comfort you felt pinned against the wall by him, the way he’d protected you against that creep. Nobody had done that for you before.
God you sound fucking pathetic.
And specifically, his suggestive line of “my office hours are listed on the syllabus” reverberates around your skull, like the start of those Wattpad stories you used to read as a teen. And so, you and your vibrator have the time of your life at all odd hours of the day, imagining him and you in those situations.
In hindsight, being overtaken by lust to distract from your crippling loneliness was a poor decision to make, that much you clock when you receive one of your midterms back today. With a big fat fucking 60% written on the front. In Dr Abbot’s class at that too.
Humiliation takes over you, cheeks warm as he walks by to return the paper, refusing to look at him but feeling his gaze on your face.
Around you, students are already discussing their marks, complaining about feedback, celebrating distinctions, debating whether certain deductions were fair, while you're busy boring holes into the godforsaken paper with your eyes as though sheer hatred might cause it to burst into flames.
As someone who quite literally had nothing going on for them other than academic success, it's a stab to the heart to realise you’ve fallen off in any capacity. For your wretched brain, one poor mark isn't just a mark, it's indicative of you falling behind, lacking in the one thing that defines you.
Academics have always been your thing, the one area of your life you've been able to control through sheer stubbornness and hard work, the one thing you've quietly built your entire sense of self around. You aren't particularly outgoing. You don't have a huge social circle. You don't possess some secret hidden talent waiting to be discovered.
And now a bright red sixty is staring back at you from the top of the page like a personal attack.
The feedback only makes it worse.
Critical analysis underdeveloped.
Needs greater engagement with course material.
More depth required.
Each comment feels less like academic criticism and more like somebody taking a hammer to your ribcage.
Especially because you've spent the last month thinking about fuckass Jack Abbot far more than you've spent thinking about sociology. You've replayed conversations that lasted less than five minutes. Analysed glances that probably meant absolutely nothing, and constructed entire fictional narratives from harmless comments that any reasonable person would've forgotten weeks ago.
Meanwhile half your readings have been sitting untouched in a browser tab.
You stare down at the paper again, jaw tightening.
Perhaps this is the universe intervening. Perhaps this is your sign to get a grip. Perhaps this is your sign to finally take him up on that offer he'd made four weeks ago.
Not because you're harbouring some pathetic crush. Absolutely not.
Purely for academic reasons. You need to know what went wrong and you need to know how to fix it before your anxiety makes this into something worse and you have another one of your depressive episodes.
And if that means sitting in Dr Jack Abbot's office while he explains why your argument was underdeveloped and your analysis lacked depth, then so be it.
The thought alone makes your stomach perform an alarming little flip, which is deeply unfortunate.
Because that's probably another sign that you're not thinking nearly enough about sociology.
After stalking the stupid university website you’ve discovered that Dr Jack Abbot apparently remains on campus until after five o'clock most evenings, like some sort of psycho freak.
Doesn’t he have a wife to go home to? Surely no sane person voluntarily spends that much time at a university.
Still, at 5:17 PM, you're standing outside his office clutching your assignment paper so tightly it's beginning to crumple around the edges.
You knock on the door and hear his gruff voice let out a “come in”. You walk in.
Fuck your life.
His blazer is off, sleeves of his beige shirt rolled up to show veiny forearms, as he types away on his laptop.
“Oh it's you. Hello sweetheart.” He winces at the slip of the pet name.
“Sorry Miss-” he pauses. “Um, just have a seat, please.”
You hope to God that he can't hear the beating of your heart as you step in, closing the door shut behind you, avoiding eye contact as you sit on the seat opposite him.
You set your paper on his desk and mumble.
“I just wanted to review the feedback I got on this.”
“Yeah of course, what’d you want to ask?”
You hesitate, his soft tone suddenly making you want to spill everything.
"I just..." You stare at the desk. "I thought I'd done better than this. So I wanted more clarity on all the comments you made."
He nods and picks up the paper, starts reading through it, then squints.
He sighs.
“Wait, let me get my readers on.”
You sneak a glance up.
Oh fuck.
He puts his readers on. Some fucking high prescription glasses that enunciate the size of his stupid hazel boba eyes and delicious eye wrinkles.
Yeah, pussy exploded.
You look back down on the table, and inhale to calm your heart.
When Jack finally finishes, he sets the paper on the desk.
"You know," he says carefully, tapping one section of the essay, "the reason this stood out to me wasn't because the writing is bad."
Your eyes lift despite yourself. He slides the paper slightly closer.
"It's actually the opposite."
“What?"
"The writing is strong, and your arguments are quite clear. You've obviously got the ability."
The knot in your chest loosens slightly. Only slightly.
"But?" you whisper.
His mouth twitches.
"But I don't think you pushed yourself."
Jack studies your expression for a moment before leaning back slightly in his chair.
"You understand the material," he continues. "I don't have concerns about that. What I'm seeing is somebody who's engaging with the content at a surface level when they're capable of going much deeper.”
Right, so you’re failing. You ridden with lust, and doing god knows what in hopes to distract yourself from the sheer loneliness and mundanity of your life and now you can’t even understand the content the way you want to understand it and-
“Hey sweetheart, are you feelin’ okay?”
You look up at him in confusion and realise your breaths are heavy, uneven. Your hands are trembling slightly where they're resting on your lap.
Fuck, the beginnings of a panic attack.
“I’m so sorry Dr Abbot, I just- I’ve never done poorly in a test really, and so this is all so…” your voice cracks. “I don't even know what I’m saying I just-”
He gets up and walks over to you as you break off, letting out a shaky laugh that sounds suspiciously close to a sob.
He leans against his desk, in front of you, bending to reach your eyes.
“Hey, it's okay angel, breathe for me.”
He inhales.
“Look, follow my breathing.”
You try to, but it comes out stuttered.
"Fuck, I'm sorry."
"Nothin’ to apologise for, sweetheart, just keep trying. C’mon, take a deep breath in, and out."
He holds your hand and brings it to his chest. You feel his heart beat steadily under your palm. He exaggerates his breathing to help you.
“In, and out, just like that.”
It seems nice to just let go. To have someone else take over your brain, follow their instructions and shut the noise, the anxieties and the worries.
Once your breathing slows, he moves your hand away from his chest.
“You breathin’ better now?”
You nod slowly, still feeling shaky, still mortified by the fact that you've just had what can only be described as a minor psychological collapse in your professor's office.
“I’m so, so sorry you saw me like that Dr Abbot, I didn’t mean to-”
“Hey, it’s okay, sweet girl.”
He pauses, seems occupied gathering his thoughts.
You busy yourself staring at the floor. Then he exhales softly through his nose and settles back against the edge of his desk.
"After my wife passed away, I used to get them all the time."
The words are so unexpected that your head lifts immediately.
Jack's gaze remains fixed somewhere over your shoulder rather than directly on you, his expression thoughtful.
"My therapist taught me a few tricks," he says with a small shrug. "Matching breathing patterns was one of them."
Your heart races again, for different reasons this time. The ring, the fucking black ring. He’s a widower. You don’t know whether to laugh or scream at the fact that he’s not married, and you aren’t a homewrecker. But then you feel real fucking horrible for different reasons, youre brain sabotaging again.
“I’m sorry about your wife. I’m sorry if that reminded you of back then, or whenever it happened I don’t know, I don't want to assume-”
“Shh, take a deep breath for me. You’re good, sweetheart.
He brings a palm to your cheek, engulfing it.
“Yeah? It’s okay. Don’t worry ‘bout it. It was a long time ago.”
You breathe in slowly for the fucking hundredth time that night, calming down.
“You feelin’ better now?” He asks gently.
You nod, biting your tongue to stop from apologising again.
“Yes, thank you.”
It slips out before he can stop it.
“Good girl.”
Your thighs instinctively clench, and you see him stiffen as he notices. You both stare at each other, feeling tension coil in the air between you. A moment passes.
“I could help you, you know.”
You blink, confused.
He rubs your cheek gently, eyes boring into yours. His expression is blank, neutral.
“I could help you relax, get out of your brain for a little.”
He pauses.
“Like that night in the bar. You liked that, didn't you? Somebody taking control.”
Your breath hitches, and you mumble a “yes.”
“Louder, sweetheart. If we’re gonna do this, you need to speak clearly.”
His voice is stern, gravelly. And your brain is calm for the first time in weeks, since that night. The validation you crave so desperately, the sense of comfort that would help with escaping your brain, perhaps it is held in the palm of Jack Abbot’s hands.
Slowly, you nod.
“Yes Dr Abbot, I’d like you to help me.”
He smirks, the edges of lips pulling up.
“Atta girl. C’mon then, get up for me.”
You follow his lead, mind hazy as he holds your hands and guides you to his chair.
“I’m gonna sit, then you're gonna sit right here, on my lap. And then I’ll help you, yeah?”
You nod again.
“Words, sweetheart.”
“Yes, Dr Abbot.”
He smiles, proudly. Your brain turns to mush again, pussy fluttering.
He’s so handsome.
Pulling you onto his lap sideways, your legs draping over his thighs, he caresses your hair. Fuck, it feels so good. You nuzzle your head into his neck, whimpering softly as he coos, "such a good girl, my smart girl, yeah? smartest in the whole damn class.”
Then he brings his fat fingers to your skirt, tracing circles on yout thighs near the hem. Inching close, but never slipping under.
“Please, please Dr Abbot, touch me.”
“Yeah, you want me to touch that little pussy? Want me to make you feel good? So you can rest your pretty brain?”
He taps your head.
You whine ‘yes, yes please sir.’
You feel his cock jerk up under you. He groans.
“Fuckin’ hell, sweetheart. Say that again.”
“Please, Sir, please touch me.”
“Whatever you want, pretty girl.”
Then he finally flips your skirt up, and starts rubbing slowly over your panties. On your lips, your folds, through your soaked underwear. You wrap your arms around his neck, begging him, please.
He brings a finger to your clit, mutters lowly, “right here sweetheart?” and you nod, whining.
He rubs gentle circles on your clit, your slick helping his finger move smoothly even over your panties. Buries his face in your hair as he continues rubbing. He breathily exhales, as if simply your pleasure was turning him on .
“That’s it, just let go sweetheart. Let me take care of you, yeah?”
“Fuck- right there.”
You buck up in his hold.
And he stops, a hand splaying over your thighs to stop you from squirming.
“Fuckin’ stop that, or this is going to be over a lot quicker thank you’d like.”
You feel the hardness of his cock under you, prodding below your ass. Your brain is mush, the words slipping by themself.
You nod tucking your head in his neck, “Yeah, yeah sir I’ll stop, please- fuck. Please keep going.”
“That’s my good girl.”
And he starts rubbing over your clit again, kissing down your cheeks, down your neck, murmuring “yeah? yeah” as he inhaled your musk.
You whimper, arching your neck as you get closer to your release, feeling it build up low in your stomach the faster his circles get.
“Fuck I’m going to come! Pl- please let me come sir.”
“Yeah? Is my good girl gonna come? You gonna come for Dr Abbot?” He groans, low and husky.
And fuck, that gets you. You close your eyes as your orgasm hits you, pleasure washing over.
You mutter whimpers of his name as you come, squirming as much as he lets you, clenching your thighs in his palm.
In the haze of your orgasm, you hear him, moaning. He jerks up, moaning in your ear, face pressed against your hair, babbling.
“Fuck- sweetheart, did so good for me, fucking coming all over my fingers, fuck!”
The last word comes out as something resembling a whine. His hips buck up once, twice, before you feel warmth spreading under you.
Did he just… orgasm?
Both of you pant harshly, him into your hair, forehead pressed against your head. And you look down, seeing your soaking panties, his hands splayed over your thighs. A smile overtakes your face, god, you felt alive.
And he came. In his pants. God, you love old men. But as a giggle bubbles up in your throat, he stiffens.
You see his hands leave you, and before you can even process what's happening, he's gently but firmly moving you off his lap, tugging your skirt back into place.
"Fuck."
The curse leaves him under his breath, as he immediately turns away in his chair, one hand dragging through his curls.
You stand there, still dazed as he refuses to look at you.
“Fuck, um. You should leave and I- I think-”
The words die halfway through. You watch him struggle to find them.
“Yeah, you should leave,” he awkwardly mutters as he covers the wet patch on his pants. You're still breathing heavily, and furrow your brows.
What the fuck?
You’re so utterly mortified. Still in the post orgasmic haze, standing there feeling horribly exposed, your brain sluggish and foggy and vulnerable.
And through that stupid fog you pick your bag up from the seat, smooth out your skirt. Avoiding eye contact, you wobble out of the room, tears pooling in your eyes.
Fuck old men. You hate old men.
After hours of sobbing into your pillow, and spiralling about how people will use you for your body, and nobody will be able to save you, and you’re going to die alone, you reached a conclusion. Probably a delusional conclusion, but a conclusion nonetheless.
He was embarrassed, that’s all. The man had simply come in his pants. Which, admittedly, would be humiliating for anyone. You’re so young and sexy that he was embarrassed he came in his pants. He definitely still wants you.
The thought soothed you enough to stop crying, enough to prevent you from throwing yourself dramatically into the nearest body of water.
It's when you’re holed up in your dorm room, buried under the blankets reading a fic, when your spiral begins again.
Because you get a text from an unknown number.
Hi. I wanted to apologise for yesterday.
That was incredibly impolite of me, I got way in over my head.
Then two minutes later.
And I wanted to check in.
Are you feeling better?
Chat, what if you fucking killed yourself?
The perfect grammar and punctuation made your stomach churn in lust. The way you could hear him grumble that out in his husky voice, gravelly warmth beneath every syllable.
Stop.
Objectively speaking, this man had sent you into an emotional crisis less than twenty-four hours ago. He basically kicked you out after giving you another toe curling orgasm.
And yet somehow all it takes is three perfectly punctuated texts and you're smiling into your pillow like an idiot. Whatever, stay nonchalant.
So you ignore his apology and reply to the latter half.
Hey, i’m okay thanks
Wow, look at you go.
His reply is almost immediate.
Good.
Good girl.
You take a deep breath in, pull your blanket over your head. Fuck. Fuck this stupid old man and his ability to make your pussy throb with two words.
You genuinely have no clue what to reply, stupid. Stupid woman who can’t even formulate a reply and be flirtatious.
You type something.
Delete it.
Type something else.
Delete that too.
Your chest develops a familiar buzzing anxiety. This, by the way, is exactly why maintaining relationships has always felt so difficult. Everyone else seems to possess some innate understanding of social interaction that you're missing entirely.
What are you supposed to say?
Thanks for checking on me after kicking me out?
Sorry for crying in your office?
Please stop being unexpectedly kind after making me come so hard because it's making this significantly harder?
After two minutes of spiralling, or five, or ten, you don’t even fucking know at this point, your phone buzzes again.
Can I see you?
Please.
Your breath stutters.
yeah sure
When do your classes finish today?
At 3pm
Okay. I’ll meet you at Sapphos.
Fuck, you hate how he doesn’t ask you. Just makes a statement, tells you what to do. You hate how that turns you on, and even worse, how good it feels to not have to make decisions for yourself, for once.
But also, that cafe was off campus. Realistically, should you be potentially jeopardising your academic career with this emotionally unavailable older man, who will definitely be using you for your body if this continues? No, but are you lonely and so fucking bored with the stangancy of your life? Well, yes.
And so unfortunately, rational thought has never stood much of a chance against loneliness. Against the quiet ache that follows you home every evening, and the possibility of spending a few hours with somebody who sees you.
Sitting and staring out the window of some cafe he randomly picked, Jack doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing. He doesn't know how many times a man can call something a lapse in judgement before it stops being a ‘lapse’ and starts becoming a conscious choice.
He got in way over his head after making you come on his lap, spiralling. Yes, it was the sheer humiliation of coming in his pants (which was a nightmare to clean off, by the way) but also, there was the humiliation of losing control of himself after years of carefully maintaining it, the mortifying reality of having to go home and sit alone with the consequences of it all.
What was worse was somewhere along the way you'd managed to reach inside him and pull loose something from his heart he'd thought had calcified years ago, something he'd buried beneath research papers, lecture halls, and the endless routines he'd constructed around himself after his wife died.
And he knows, he knows, you deserve someone better. He was a widow for Christ's sake, probably three decades or somewhere very close to that, older than you. And you’re young. Thoughtful. Young enough that your entire life still seems stretched out in front of you. Even your anxieties, the things that weigh you down, feel temporary in a way his never will.
You still have time to become whoever you're meant to be.
Jack feels as though he's already become whoever he's going to be.
He thinks about the way you looked during your panic attack, how hard you'd been trying to keep it together even as everything was falling apart. He thinks about how quickly you apologised for taking up space, for having feelings, for being overwhelmed.
And he didn't pity you, God, no. It wasn't that. He understood it. The loneliness. The exhaustion. The feeling that if you stopped holding yourself together for even a second, everything might collapse.
But he also saw the way your brain shut down, the way you trusted him. It made something ache inside his chest, a warm ache, the sort that spread through his ribs and settled somewhere dangerously close to hope.
And hope was precisely the problem. Because he couldn't give you anything. Not with the grief and sense of routine buried in him before his teaching, in the chasm of his heart, since his time in the godforsaken military where half his limb was gone.
He can't offer you anything but his fingers, or his mouth, between your legs, and you deserve someone better than that.
But if that was the only way he’d be able to get you out of his head, then so be it.
And so despite all of that, despite every logical argument he could construct, despite every fucking university regulation he was violating right now, his eyes keep drifting towards the café entrance every few seconds.
Jack exhales heavily and rubs a hand across his jaw.
And then you enter. Looking around with an adorably confused look before you spot him, and dare he say, your eyes light up.
Abbot, no.
But the words slip out as you reach him.
“Hey sweetheart.”
“Hi Dr Abbot.”
You sit opposite him, glancing up at him briefly before staring back down at the table. He hates how endearing he finds it, how he wants to reach across the sticky table and pull your jaw, hold it, and force you to look at him. He wants to see your eyes glaze over the way they did the day prior.
He chooses instead to slide the menu across to you, and once you order, he leans back.
“Did you have a nice morning?”
He withholds a wince at the awkwardness.
“Um, yes. Classes were okay. Thank you?”
The end of the sentence rises almost into a question, as though you're unsure whether that's the correct answer, and something about it makes his chest tighten.
“Good, that’s good.”
Then an awkward pause. Jack sits there like a complete fucking idiot.
For Christ's sake he’d called you here. And now that you're sitting in front of him, he can't seem to form a coherent sentence.
Get your shit together, Abbot.
"Look," he begins, rubbing a hand across his jaw. "I wanted to apologise for yesterday."
Your eyes finally lift from the table.
“It was wrong of me to let you go like that. Quite frankly I don’t even have an excuse I just…”
He trails off, looking behind you out the window for a second. What exactly is he supposed to say?
That the sight of you crying made me feel physically sick? That for one terrifying second I’d felt something dangerously close to happiness sitting in that office with you? That after years of carefully maintaining the same dull routine I’d somehow started structuring entire days around whether I’d see you?
None of those seem particularly appropriate, too intense.
"See, no man my age enjoys being reminded that he's still capable of behaving like a teenager."
That makes you smirk a little. His heart warms.
“You mean, you.. coming in your pants?”
Jack groans softly and drags a hand down his face.
“I didn't want to put it so crudely, but well... yes."
"I thought so."
You giggle. And the sound catches him off guard enough that he finds himself smiling despite the mortification currently trying to consume him.
"To be honest," you continue, "I think I understood once I calmed down."
His shoulders loosen slightly.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
You shrug.
"But I'm not going to lie, it didn't feel very good. You kicking me out like that."
The honesty makes him wince.
"And that's exactly why I wanted to apologise, sweetheart." His gaze settles on you properly. Giving you a look that he hoped was earnest. "That was real shitty of me. I’m truly very sorry.”
You look at him for a few moments in silence, mapping his face. Then once seemingly finding what you were looking for, you reply.
“Apology accepted.”
The waitress arrives then, setting down your coffee, some monstrosity involving whipped cream and probably enough sugar to send him into cardiac arrest.
Jack eyes it suspiciously, humorously.
"What?" you question.
"That isn't coffee."
"It literally is."
"Sweetheart, that looks like it barely has any caffeine."
You let out a giggle, again. God, you’ve got to fucking stop that if you want his heart to survive.
"It has espresso."
"Buried beneath, what? Three inches of whipped cream."
"Whatever, you’re just old and grumpy."
You grin. The grin grows wider when he continues staring at the drink with visible disappointment.
For some reason that finally breaks whatever lingering awkwardness remains between the two of you. The conversation begins flowing after that.
He makes a witty remark, you giggle. And you manage to make him laugh as well, coming out of your shell.
Then the conversation shifts to that night at the bar.
“Yeah so if he wasn't that buff and scary, I wouldn't even have called you over. I would've told him to suck my strap and choke.”
Jack nearly chokes on his coffee, coughing violently. You immediately burst into soft laughter. He wipes his lips with a napkin, grinning.
"Sweetheart."
"What?"
"Please give me some warning before you say things like that."
Your grin grows, eyes sparkling.
"Why?"
"Because I'm fifty."
That seems to make your eyes widen imperceptibly, and you look down towards the coffee you ordered, chugging it.
Interesting.
Neither of you acknowledge the elephant in the room, instead you continue talking, skirting around the edges. Circling the obvious without ever touching it.
And eventually your drinks are empty. People around you start leaving.
Yet neither of you seems particularly eager to end the conversation.
Jack glances at his watch. Then back at you. He really, really shouldn't. But he wants to give you a way out. While still offering you a choice.
"I don't have any classes after tomorrow's lecture."
The words leave his mouth casually.
Your eyes flicker up.
"Oh."
A pause.
"I could come see you."
"In my office?"
You immediately look embarrassed.
"Only if that's okay."
God. There it is again, that instinct you have to ask permission for existing.
"Sweetheart."
Your eyes lift.
"It's okay."
The relief that flashes across your face is so immediate it almost hurts to look at.
"Okay."
"Okay."
A smile tugs at the corner of his mouth.
When the bill eventually arrives, he picks it up before you can.
"Dr Abbot-"
"No."
"I can pay for myself."
"I know."
"Then-"
"I know, I know you’re a self sufficient woman. You’re brilliant. But let me. I’ll pay for it."
Your mouth opens. Closes. Opens again. Jack watches the entire internal battle play across your face.
Then you nod softly, muttering an “okay, thank you”.
Jack's heart clenches again. Genuinely fuck his life.
So you think you’ve somehow ended up in a situationship or whatever the fuck with your fifty year old professor.
Over the course of the past five weeks, you show up in his office after the lectures, and even a few times throughout the week, and he sets you on his lap, or on his desk while he laps at your cunt.
Occasionally, he lets you pull out his cock and suck it. Sometimes under his desk, riding his boot as he's grading papers, God, his fucking whimpers when he comes.
Unsurprisingly, he also does help you with understanding the content and doing your assignments. Has his own unique methods of doing so.
Jack had you sitting on his lap, back to his chest, completely clothed while you were naked, bare.
He hooked his face on your shoulder, whispering filth in your ears, telling you to “focus” as he rubbed slow circles over your pussy. Smearing the slick oozing out your cunt over your folds, avoiding your clit.
You whined and tried to clench your thighs, whispering against his stubbled cheek.
“Please, pl- touch me, Dr Abbot.”
But he'd splayed one wide palm, tightly, over your thigh.
“No. Type out the rest of the essay, c’mon. Then you can come, pretty girl,” he’d muttered in a low voice.
And once you did, he'd shoved his fat fingers inside of you, thrusting fast, the other hand alternating between your neck and your nipples, pinching, squeezing.
You’d squirted that day, for the first time, creating a mess of his pants, some landing on his desk.
He’d made you lick it off.
Surprisingly, however, you hadn’t kissed, not even once. Nor had you fucked, in the penetrative sense.
The latter you’re grateful for, because you were a virgin. It was too humiliating of a thought to ever bring up in your twenties now, but thankfully he never brings it up either. You suspect he knows though, from the little details you've unveiled to him over the course of the past few weeks.
Talking about your feelings has always been.. difficult. The words choke up and clog the back of your throat when you go to speak. Entire relationships - well, lack of relationships - have been built around your inability to say what you need.
But it's easy, sometimes, with Jack. When your brain shuts off in a post orgasmic haze, and you sit in other's company, his hand resting in your hair, or his head buried in your chest, the words bubble out of you.
Snippets of memories of your family that you left behind, of the few friends back home, the lack of romance. When you stop speaking halfway through a sentence because you've forgotten how to explain yourself, he simply waits.
Surely he's put two and two together.
And you think he has some avoidant issues of his own, the old fuck.
He'll spend forty minutes analysing a political institution and somehow avoid answering a direct question about his own feelings.
Yet occasionally things slip through the cracks.
A memory about his wife. An offhand comment about the military that lingers in your mind long after he's moved on to another topic.
You'd had a lengthy conversation one day about that, your radical opinions spilling out before you could stop them, about systemic exploitation and imperialism, about how much you despised the military as an institution. You’d accuse institutions of manipulating vulnerable people; He agreed more than you'd expected him to. Told you about his journey of basically being forced into it to help his family, about the machinery of poverty and patriotism that pushed kids toward enlistment before they were old enough to understand what they were signing away.
He takes your ideas seriously, but he also looks genuinely delighted when you disagree with him.
And god, that’s what you were starting to like most about him. The intellect. Yes he has a girthy cock that would probably annihilate you in the best way when (if) the time came, and incredible arms, and his fat pecs. But his brain. Wow.
Intelligence has always been your love language, whether you've admitted it or not. And Jack speaks it fluently. There’s a sense of strange intimacy and letting others hear your thoughts and opinions. And the ability to be able to talk and have someone just listen, or banter with you – it was rare. Especially for someone as reclusive as you.
Unfortunately, you're also smart enough to recognise reality. Whatever this is, it isn't heading anywhere permanent. Because Jack never talks about the future, never makes promises, or gives any indication that he's looking for something lasting.
And honestly? You aren't sure he can. Not after everything he's lost, not with the gap of decades between you. So you tell yourself you're enjoying things exactly as they are. You tell yourself that spending time with him is enough.
And for now, maybe it is.
The problem is that every time he looks at you like you've said something brilliant, every time he remembers some tiny detail about your life, every time his face softens when you walk into a room – this lie gets a little harder to believe.
Five weeks. Jack’s ‘brief’ lapse in judgement has lasted five fucking weeks.
Every time he sees you enter the lecture, you exchange a secret look, your eyes fluttering, him blushing. He feels like he’s twenty again. It's exhilarating.
But the ‘ethical dilemma’ of it all sat permanently in the back of his mind, festering like an untreated wound.
He knows that every time he let himself enjoy your company, every time he answered one of your messages, every time he found himself smiling at something you'd said hours after the conversation had ended, he was stepping further into territory he had absolutely no business occupying.
The way you trusted him, allowing him to lick into your cunt or set you on his lap and caress you, felt nice. It felt real fucking good to be wanted and desired in some capacity, especially after being touch starved for nearly a decade since his wife.
And seeing you under him sucking his cock, fuck.
“Dr Abbot….” you whined in a teasing tone, laced with humour.
He groaned, placing his forehead on your back from where you sat on his lap. You definitely wanted something.
“What?” he huffed out.
Still facing your laptop, you breathed out your next words.
“When are you going to let me suck your cock?”
He jolted, hips thrusting up.
“Jesus Christ sweetheart, warn a guy.”
You said his name again, more firmly.
“Stop dodging the question.”
He paused.
“This whole… us. It's about you, about helping you relax so you can focus on studying. It’s not about me or my pleasure or-”
“Jack.”
He lifted his head from your back, stilling. You’d never said his first name before.
“What if doing it would give me pleasure, hm? What then?”
He stayed silent.
You twisted in his lap, neck twisting to face him.
“I want to taste you, please.”
Widening your eyes, and pouting, you all but begged him. Brought a hand to his stubbled cheek.
“Please, Dr Abbot. Let me do it.”
He sighed. Jack Abbot was a weak, pathetic man when it came to you.
“Fine,” he grumbled.
“Get off, c’mon.”
Yeah, it was worth it for the blinding smile you gave him, kissing his cheek.
He gently lifted you off his lap, and pulled his chair back to give you some room.
Jack nodded, glancing down pointedly.
“If you want it, you gotta do it yourself.”
You kneeled immediately, settling yourself in the gap between his desk, between his open thighs.
Unbuckling his belt, staring at his bulge with those doe eyes the entire time, you slowly pulled his cock out.
It was hard, leaking, tip red and aching. Your soft hands wrapping around his dick made a drop of precum roll down. He moaned, a low sound emanating from deep in his chest.
You slowly twisted your hand up and down his cock, fingers barely stretching around.
Jack couldn’t wait. He gripped your hair, not too hard, but enough to lift your head up to face him.
“You gonna put your mouth on it or do I need to shove it in?”
You smirked, you vixen.
“Shove it in, I dare you.”
He groaned, muttering “you fuckin’ brat” as he pushed your hands off his cock.
“Open up, sweetheart.”
You did, tongue lolling out. A drop of drool dripped onto his thighs, and he moaned under his breath.
He couldn’t wait any longer. Gripping his cock, he fed it into your mouth. Inch by inch.
Until you gagged.
Feeling your soft throat close around him, he couldn't help but groan your name.
“Fuckin’ hell.”
Your hands came up to stroke whatever didn't fit in - which truth be told, was more than half his cock, but it's okay, he'd train you eventually.
“Can I help you, sweetheart? Teach you how to take your professor's cock down your throat?”
You nodded quickly, moaning, his cock still in your mouth.
Then he guided you through it, holding your head as you sucked him. Muttered praises, filth, to guide you.
“Just like that, sweetheart”.
“Yeah, grip it harder”.
“Suck the tip, just like that.”
And right before he came, he ripped you off him and wrapped a hand around himself. He whimpered as jerked off furiously over you, until drops of his pearly cum splattered over your tongue.
He had never come that hard in his life.
Panting harshly, he patted your head.
“Swallow.”
Other than the sex, there were also the days where you'd walk into his office and start talking about some article you'd read, your entire face lighting up with excitement, and everything in him would melt. He’d pull you onto his lap, or set you in front of him, on his desk, and let you talk, feeling the softness of your thighs under his palm as he traced small circles. It was nice to let someone in, fill the void and the silence in his life.
There wasn’t a label on what you two were, if you even were anything.
While at first he’d thought it was common for you to be used to this sort of ‘causalness’ or a friends-with-benefit type situation (or whatever the fuck somebody born two generations after him would call it), he'd come to realise you were actually the opposite. Not that he’d have any issue with either.
But from the scattered stories you'd told him about your past, the way you spoke about relationships, and the cautious vulnerability that appeared whenever the subject drifted too close to ‘feelings’, he'd begun piecing together a picture of someone who felt things deeply and trusted people slowly.
He could calculate you were likely a virgin. And so he never pressurised you, never made the first move to initiate sex, kept his cock to himself, waiting for you. No matter how much he wanted to feel the tightness of your pussy around him.
However, his patience is wearing thin, growing precarious with every instance of you bringing another small thing that wedges itself beneath his ribs and refuses to leave.
Now he's left with the deeply inconvenient problem of wanting things he really shouldn’t want. Not just a warm body near him, but wanting your company, your attention. He wants those afternoons in his office where you do nothing but talk to last a little longer.
All of this wanting, this yearning, is quite frankly, far more than he has any right to want.
Which is exactly why today is proving so unbearable.
He often feels a pit of something bitter bubble in his chest when you interact with someone other than him. Not that it happens frequently - you're quite reserved. But not today. Today, specifically, you seem to be chatting up a boy.
When he enters the lecture this morning, you aren’t sitting alone like usual, but instead, there’s some boy next to you. Some boy your age. Dressed in some sort of hideous baggy outfit that hangs off his lanky frame. Is that fashion now? God that fucking punk.
Why was he sitting next to you? Distracting you?
As he sets up his laptop on the podium, seething under his breath, he hears a giggle. Your breathy giggle, the one he thought only came out with him.
His jaw tightens. The lecture hasn't even started, for Christ's sake.
Jack spends the next five minutes attempting to focus on setting up his stupid slides while simultaneously becoming aware of every interaction occurring in your vicinity.
Looking up, he realises it's a grave mistake. Because now you're touching. Touching that punk’s arm.
Fuck.
Something ugly immediately twists in Jack's stomach, his brows furrowing. Anger bubbles up in his chest.
But he can’t do anything but continue on, beginning his lecture, as if he isn’t seething with jealousy.
Halfway through the lecture, he catches himself directing a question towards your side of the room and immediately wants to launch himself into the sun.
Because you answer, of course, brilliantly as usual. But the boy next to you looks at you with stars in his eyes.
Yeah, Jack wants him expelled.
After a torturous two hours, students begin filing out of the room. Normally, this is the part where he'd catch your eye, maybe exchange some silent look that promised you'd be appearing in his office within the next ten minutes.
Instead, you're still standing beside that boy. And the little prick is making you laugh now. Then you reach out and lightly smack his arm, again.
Jack immediately decides prison might be worth it.
He shoves his laptop into his satchel with considerably more force than necessary, and effectively storms out of the room without giving you a second glance.
If you wanted to fuck about with some kid your age, then fine, Jack was not going to stop you.
By the time he reaches his office he's practically fuming, throwing his bag onto his desk and immediately hating himself for it.
Because what exactly are you guilty of?
Making a friend? Talking to somebody?
The answer is nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
Yet that doesn't stop the ugly feeling sitting beneath his ribs. Yeah, he’s going to commit a fucking crime tonight.
Jack Abbot has managed to elicit yet another strange emotion in you. You're staring at the doorway he'd just disappeared through, confused as fuck.
He'd packed up and left so quickly you'd barely had time to process it, when usually, you walk to his office together.
Once James - the man you were talking to - leaves with your Instagram to “organise a study session”, a strange sinking feeling begins to settle in your stomach.
You gather your things slowly, trying not to overthink it but failing spectacularly.
The thing is, you had actually been excited, embarrassingly excited. Somehow, after weeks of mostly keeping to yourself, after spending the majority of your university experience drifting between classes and then disappearing home, you'd accidentally made a friend today randomly. For the first time somebody actually came and fucking sat next you and talked to you.
And the first person you'd wanted to tell was Jack. Which was probably concerning. You know how ridiculous it is that every interesting thing that happens in your day somehow circles back to him.
You'd actually spent the last ten minutes of class thinking about it, thinking about walking into his office and saying, "I made a friend today." And hearing whatever sarcastic response he'd inevitably come up with as he pulled you into his lap. Maybe teasing you about finally socialising - a topic he often teased you about - or maybe pretending to be shocked.
Instead he'd practically fled the room.
By the time you reach his office, the excitement has mostly dissolved into uncertainty, and a sick, sick feeling. Your brain convinces you he hates you, he’s sick of you. The affair with the pretty young thing is over.
Your hand hovers over the door, then knocks.
A gruff voice immediately answers.
"Come in."
You push the door open, and there he is standing beside his desk.
His jaw is clenched, his shoulders rigid.
And suddenly you're no longer excited to tell him anything. Instead you're left standing there wondering what exactly you did wrong.
He stalks up to you, and shuts the door behind you with enough force to make you jump. For a moment he simply stands there, broad chest rising and falling, staring at you as though he's trying to decide whether to throttle you or kiss you.
“Who the fuck was that boy?”
You’re confused.
“Who?”
“Don't play games with me, sweetheart.”
“James?” you ask, tilting your head. “Oh he’s just a… friend I made. We decided to share notes for the course.”
His jaw visibly tenses.
“The fuck you mean you ‘share notes’?” He exaggerates the last two words, mocking the phrase in a deliberately high-pitched voice. “Don’t I give you enough notes to go off? I'm not teachin’ you well enough, so now you gotta go to some punk to share notes?
“Jack, it’s not like that, I just-”
“Dr Abbot.” He interrupts.
The correction slices straight through you.
“What?”
He walks up closer to you, until your back hits the door and you’re pinned against it. He tilts his head down to peer at you.
“It’s Dr Abbot when you’re in my office, sweetheart,” His voice drops lower. “I’m still your professor.”
You scoff at that, hurt. It’s not hot to you, no. In that moment your brain forces you to think about how every moment you've spent together has happened in this room, only in this room. And maybe that's all there is, and maybe that's all there ever was. You convince you that you guys can’t exist out of this space, this dynamic that exists between the two of you.
Can he just not have a civil conversation? Why is pretending to act jealous? If he wanted to fuck you he could just ask.
You swallow hard.
“Right,” you say lowly. “My professor.”
The words taste bitter.
“The one who only seems to want me when we're in here.”
His brows furrow immediately.
“That's not what-”
“No, it’s okay. Let me finish. The one who shoves his face between my thighs when he feels lonely to cure whatever fucked up grief he keeps bottled up inside of him. The one who refuses to see me outside the four walls of this godforsaken office-”
“Enough.”
You see something that resembles hurt flash across his face, his brows creasing. The lines around his eyes deepen.
“Is that really what you think of me?” He whispers, staring at you.
You twitch uncomfortably under him, looking at the floor, confidence evaporating now that you've actually said out loud what you’ve been spiralling over ever since this began.
“I just...” Your voice cracks slightly. “Look, you don't have to act possessive, okay? Whatever we have this- this thing. I know it doesn’t mean much to you.”
Jack immediately opens his mouth, but you keep rambling.
“Which is fine. Seriously. I'm okay with that.” Your hands shake slightly at your sides. “But just don’t give me false hope. I’m happy with you being my professor, or my dom, or whatever the fuck. And I like that you help me study and talk and get out of my head and feel good, but there’s no need to act like you- like you care. I can't handle feeling like you care one minute and then being reminded none of this is real the next.”
You're panting hard by the end of your rant, still refusing to look at him.
“Sweetheart, look at me.”
You shake your head, tears of frustration welling up at letting yourself be seen like this, vulnerable. You promised yourself you wouldn’t ever tell him. Stupid.
Sex, that’s easy. It’s the meshing of two bodies, it’s clinical - you orgasm, your brain feels hazy and good while he drives you there. But this, talking, about feelings of all things, fuck. You can’t let anyone see you like that. Because then, they get sick of you, and then they leave.
“C’mon, look at me,” he pleads.
You wipe your eyes, about to tell him to move back so you can leave, but then he says your name. Softly. Not sweetheart. Not pretty girl. But your actual name.
“Please.”
You look up then, tears pooling in your eyes. And your breath catches.
Because Jack looks devastated. His eyes are red around the edges, and his mouth is pulled into a frown.
His hand rises slowly, cupping your cheek. He gently swipes a thumb under your eye.
“Hey, I need you to know - this is real. To me.”
His voice cracks.
“I’m not using you as some sort of placeholder or whatever self sabotaging bullshit you’ve created in your head okay?”
Then he inhales deeply.
“You've become the best part of my day. I wake up and mentally map my days around you. Hearing you talk loosens the constant ache I feel.”
Jack closes his eyes briefly.
Then opens them again. His hand tightens against your cheek.
“Sweetheart, I love you.”
You still.
Your lip quivers as you stare at him.
You bring your own hand up to cup his, and look up through your lashes.
The words get stuck in your throat. God. He loves you. Somebody loves you. Somebody saw through rot and the cage around your heart, and said he fucking loves you.
“I do. Too. That thing,” you wince at your awkwardness. “I just, I want to say it but I-"
“Hey pretty girl, it’s okay.”
Jack smiles sadly. He leans his forehead down to yours.
“I do,” you whisper desperately. “I do. I just-”
“Shh.”
His mouth nearly presses against you as he whispers again.
“I love you. And I’ll wait however long you need me to say it back, okay?”
Your breath shudders as he says that, a sob catching in your throat. Because for the first time in a very long time, nobody leaves.
Your eyes squeeze shut. Tears roll down your cheek, overwhelmed.
You barely register them before you feel Jack’s lips against your skin, kissing your tears. He mutters soft, ‘I love you’s as he presses kisses all over your face, cradling it. He presses one last one on your forehead before he tucks you into him.
Your cheek rests on his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.
You wrap your arms around his waist. And you genuinely think you can control it, for about ten seconds at most, then you sob. Uncontrollably, for the first time in years in front of another human.
Because God. You have spent so much of your life believing that love was something you had to earn, something you had to perform correctly for your family, the people around you, to accept you. Something that disappeared the second you became too much, too emotional, too difficult, too needy.
But he stayed. And he saw you.
You stand there, wrapped in each other's embrace until the tears slow. Jack gently wipes your cheeks with both hands.
“Sorry for making you cry, princess,” he pouts, lip jutting out exaggerately.
A watery laugh leaves you at that, and you cup his cheek. Jack immediately leans into your palm.
Jack watches you with an expression so openly adoring it nearly steals the breath from your lungs. As though he's still struggling to believe you're real.
Your thumb traces the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes, mapped with years lived longer than you.
Then your hand drifts lower, brushing against the silver-grey scruff along his jaw, littered with specks of auburn, and you rub it gently, feeling the coarseness between your fingertips.
That was it, was it not? The stark difference between you, the thing that made all this so exhilarating.
Jack had lived a life that existed before you. And somehow, impossibly, it had still found its way to yours. As though he's spent years wandering through darkness and has suddenly found something worth staying for.
And perhaps, you realise, so have you.
That’s when you know.
“I’m ready,” you breathe out.
Jack's eyes widen, his hand coming to hold yours where it rests on his jaw.
“Are you sure? I don’t want you to feel pressured into it.”
“Jack. I’m sure. I want this, I want you.”
He shudders, exhaling hard, bringing his face down to yours.
“Yeah?” He whispers against your lips, brushing them.
“Yeah.”
Then his lips slam down onto yours, for the first time.
And God, its everything you fucking imagined.
His mouth presses against yours and soft whimpers escape the both of you. There’s a certain desperation in the way his mouth moves against yours, in the way your tongues immediately find each other.
After a few brutal minutes of grinding against each other, moaning, Jack succumbs. He lifts you into his hands, your thighs wrapping around his waist, as he carries you to his desk and sets you on it.
Mouth still pressed against yours, he rips your shirt off, pulls your jeans and panties off, shoving them to the floor.
He whines as you detach your lips from his to pull his blazer off. Looking up at him, naked on his desk, you unbutton his shirt. Trail your fingers down the dusting of salt and pepper chest hair, down, over his pecs, slightly raking your nails over his nipples.
“Fuck yeah, use your nails on my chest,” he grunts out as he unzips his pants.
You moan, pressing against him harder.
“I can’t wait any longer, fuck. Please, sweetheart, let me fuck you.”
You nod.
“I’m ready, Dr Abbot.”
He groans mutters ‘you fucking minx’ as he pulls his pants and boxers down, standing bare in front of you.
His cock hits his soft stomach, curving to the left, precum coating the tip, the way you love.
You glance down at his prosthetic.
“You sure you want to do this here, Jack? We can go on the sofa if you want.”
He looks at you with so much adoration, a soft smile gracing his face.
“No sweetheart, I'll keep it on for now. Wanna fuck you on my desk. ”
Then he pinches your nipples as he leans in.
“And I still need to fuck the brat out of you.”
You whine.
“What are you waiting for then?”
He brings a hand down your stomach, fingers pressing up against you.
“Gonna finger you a little bit, yeah? Get you ready for your professor's cock, s’not gonna fit in this tight pussy otherwise.”
A whimper escapes you at his crude words, god can this old man dirty talk.
He slowly slips two fingers inside of you, thrusting, then three once you’re ready. Circles your clit softly, the way he’s learnt after many nights on this same desk.
Whispers filth against your lips, kissing you, desperate now that he knows what your lips taste like after many weeks.
Once you come, he finally presses his cock against you. Rubs the tip over your folds, coating it in your slick.
“Yeah? You ready sweetheart?”
You nod, whisper a soft ‘please’ against his lips.
Then he pushes his tip into you. And oh fuck. He’s just so fucking thick.
He immediately brings a hand up to hold his base to stave off his orgasm, puts his head on your shoulder. Breathing harshly.
It hurts a little but you want more, you crave the feeling of him pressed up against you. So you buck your hips.
“Please, Jack, fuck. Put it in,” you whine.
“Oh- oh shit. Fucking stop that.”
He lays a hand flat on your thigh. Breathes deeply.
“I’m trying not to blow my load here, sweetheart, gimme a sec.”
You giggle softly, pleased. Having this old man at your mercy, your dreams come true.
“Take your time, old man.”
He stills at that, grips your waist harshly.
Looks up at you, his eyes darkening.
“Fuck you,” he snarls.
Then he presses into you, inch by inch, until all of him is buried inside. His thighs shake with the effort of not coming, and you breathe deeply through the pinch of pain.
“Fuck princess, so tight for me, my good fucking girl,” he babbles in your ear.
You whimper against him, waiting for the pain to subside.
Then you nod. And he begins thrusting, slowly. And it's so fucking euphoric, the feeling of sex. It makes sense why they call orgasms ‘a little death’ in French, because god, you know your body will leave your soul once he starts properly fucking you.
With every deep thrust of his cock into you, his grey pubes brush against your clit. You both moan softly. He grips your waist, shoving faster, harder.
“Only man that’s ever gonna be in this pussy yeah? Yeah?”
You’re half gone drooling against his neck, letting out high pitched whines.
“Nod for me, c’mon. I haven’t fucked the brains outta you yet.”
Jack grips your hair tight, pulling your head away from where it was buried against his neck.
You nod, slurring your words.
“Yeah Dr Abbot, s’only your pussy.”
“That’s it, good fucking girl.”
Then he starts thrusting, faster. Your hands rest on his shoulders, his face buried in your neck. His body slamming into yours is so hard it makes the table squeak under you.
When he brings a hand to your clit, you whimper loudly. He covers your mouth with his palm, and stops immediately.
“Quiet, you don’t want anyone to hear right?”
He roughly pants, trailing a line of kisses up your neck.
“Don’t want them to know your professor’s fucking you, right?”
You shake your head, words muffled under his palm.
“I’ll be quiet please, fuck please!”
He starts thrusting against faster, the table shaking. You toss your head back in pleasure, his cock reaching a spot deep inside you. He stares at you, at your face twisted in pleasure, the way your tits bounce as he thrusts into you.
“Yeah that is it, baby, good fucking girl.”
God it feels so good, and you’re there, you're nearly there, egged on by his rough groans and whimpers in your ear. You bring a hand down to your clit, starting to rub it to reach your orgasm but he shoves it off. Pushes you onto the table, your back hitting the desk.
“That’s my job sweetheart. This pussy is mine.”
Then he hovers over you, eyes boring into yours as he fucks you harder, rubbing circles on your clit. The pleasure is so, so overwhelming and you close your eyes.
He pulls your head towards him, gripping your jaw.
“C’mon, look at me sweetheart.”
You open your eyes, moaning.
“Say it,” he grunts. “Say you’re mine. Say it.”
“Fuck- Dr Abbot, I’m yours.”
He moans gutturally then pushes his lips onto yours again. You both moan into each other's mouths, sloppily kissing as you build towards your peak.
“Fuck yeah sweetheart, just like that- good girl, so fucking tight.”
He continues to mutter filth against you while all you can do is softly moan. Your brain is mush, filled with thoughts of him, jackjackjack.
You clench tightly around him when he bites your bottom lip.
“C’mon tell me how good you feel,” he pants, nearing his own orgasm.
“Fuck, Daddy, feels so good.”
His hips buck once, harshly, then he stills.
“What’d you just call me?”
Your eyes come into focus. The fog clearing a bit.
You stammer, “Um nothing, sir, I was just-”
“No. Repeat it.”
He trails a hand to your neck, squeezing gently once, then more harshly
“What did you call me?”
“Daddy,” you whisper out.
He pouts mockingly.
“Yeah? Daddy makin’ you feel good, baby? That’s why you're grippin’ this cock so tight, right?”
And then he starts thrusting, harder than before.
“Just. Let. Daddy. Take Care. Of. You,” He harshly thrusts between each word, one hand covering your mouth as your moans get louder.
Then you feel your orgasm approaching, the flutter building up again, clenching around him.
He looks into your eyes, only a thin ring of hazel left, his pupils so dilated.
“You gonna come for your Daddy? Yeah?”
You nod, whining, then you bite his palm. Hard.
His hips stutter and you feel the warmth of his spend pooling in your cunt. He whimpers and babbles your name as he comes, “fuck, fuck I love you. I love you so fucking much.”
You moan at his words. But you still have to come.
“Jack please, please keep going.”
He groans gutterly as his cock begins to soften, overstimulated but he continues thrusting jerkily.
He grips your chin in his palm.
“Fuckin’ come for me. Now,” he grunts out, pinching your clit roughly.
And then it happens. You write, moaning under his hands as the coil of pleasure snaps, closing your eyes.
He whimpers soft praises and coos of “I love you, did so good for me” as his cock spurts out more cum, twitching.
You pant against each other's mouths for a few long moments, his scruff tickling your chin, his forehead resting against yours, both of you trying and failing to steady your breathing.
“Fuckin’ hell, sweetheart,” he murmurs, a breathless laugh escaping him. “That live up to your expectations?”
You laugh softly nodding.
“Mhm.”
He leans his head back to look at you properly once he’s cooled down, and holds your face in his palms.
After a few long seconds of just staring, something grave passed over his face.
“Don’t think I got a lot of years left, sweetheart.”
Your brows immediately furrow.
“Jack-”
He presses a finger to your lips when you go to interrupt, shushing you.
“Let me speak.”
You sigh, but nod.
“I've spent most of my life thinkin' there'd only ever be one great love for me,” he says quietly, his thumb brushing beneath your eye. “And after I lost her, I figured that was it. Figured whatever part of me knew how to belong to somebody had gone with her.”
Your breath stutters.
“Then you came along. In that fucking bar, wearing that tiny dress, asking me to help you. ”
A watery laugh escapes you.
“And whatever years I have left, I wanna spend them with you. I wanna hear every thought that gets trapped in that head of yours. I wanna know what articles you're reading, what you're writing, what you're dreamin’ about at three in the morning.”
He pauses.
“I wanna be the person you come home to.”
Your breath catches.
“As your other. If you’d want.”
You breathe out, seeing his face dimly lit by the lamp in his office. Mapping out his wrinkles near his eyes, the silver threaded in his slight beard and his soft smile. And suddenly it comes spilling out of you before anxiety can stop it.
“I love you.”
Jack stills completely. His eyes pool with tears.
“Yeah?” He whispers, half surprised, half in awe.
You nod, leaning up and brushing your nose against his.
“And I’d love to be yours.”
Relief washes over his face so intensely it almost hurts to witness. His eyes glisten as he kisses you softly, a slow, reverent press of his lips against yours for a few quiet moments.
Then he moves back to start cleaning up, cock still inside you.
As he leans up, his back cracks, loudly.
You both still. Before you burst out laughing.
“You’re so fucking old… yeah you’re not making it very long, I can’t lie.”
He groans dramatically, rolling his eyes to the ceiling.
“Fuck you, shut up.”
You bite your lip. His gaze travels there.
“Make me, Dr Abbot,” you say, exaggerating a whimper, only half serious.
His eyes darken, his jaw clenching so hard a muscle jumps beneath the skin. Yet despite the stern look he's trying to give you, a pink flush begins creeping across his cheeks, spreading over the tops of them and disappearing beneath the scruff along his jaw.
“Yeah sweetheart, about that… I’m not gonna be able to get it up for a while.”
You break, laughing harder as he laments. He’s so fucking old.
Once you calm down, he slowly pulls his cock out of you, both of you moaning, you at the loss of the fullness, him at your shared cum oozing out.
“But my mouth still works,” he smirks.
Your breath hitches as he plugs you with his fingers to stop more of your cum from spilling out. Leans in close, and whispers.
“My leg’s killing me, sweetheart,” he begins, breath fanning over your face. “But I'm going to lie on that sofa right there. And you're gonna ride my face till you come. Again. And again.”
You whimper softly against his mouth.
“Okay.”
“Okay, who, pretty girl?”
“Okay, Daddy.”
He grins.
“Good girl.”
omg hi u made it ! guys when i tell you this is so personal to me, from the dialgoue to the experimental (?) writing style. i need this man to be my father figure SO FUCKING BAD i have had such a week.
anyways per usual thank you to @tempestfawn for perving out with me and tolerating me, and salima for being horny over this man among other things #fullhomo
Synopsis: Dex cares about you…maybe too much. What’s the harm in looking out for a friend though, right? Right…?
Benjamin Poindexter has got you in a mean chokehold. Thick bicep flexing around the soft expanse of your throat, calloused fingertips pressed into your scalp, your hair curled around his fingers in a way that burns. It hurts, all of it. The way his other hand has your wrists pinned behind your back, grip so tight it feels like the bones are grinding, bruising in real time. Your breathing is laboured, choked sounding, as you struggled to swallow despite the way his muscles are constricting your throat. You can taste iron, though you’re not sure if it’s his blood or your own.
“Don’t move-” It’s a command, his voice low in your ear, breathing laboured as his chest presses against your spine. “Make one more god damned sound and I’ll snap your neck.”
The threat has anger coiling behind your ribs, your lip curling, teeth bared. You’d have snapped back at him if your windpipe wasn’t being crushed. Dex’s lips brush against the soft curve of your ear as he tries to catch his breath, and you try to wrench your head away from him, disgusted with yourself for having let this animal get close enough to you to have you in such a compromising position.
But Dex can feel your muscles tensing, your rigid stance beginning to shift as you struggled to control your breath. His grip was too tight, and he could feel you fighting to take in a deeper gulp of air. But if he let you go, you could scream, reveal his position, maybe even-
You jerked forward in his grip and Dex’s hand tightened in your hair, another warning.
“I’ll let you breathe if you promise not to scream,” His tone is mean, biting, as he forces your head back. Maybe it’s mocking, animalistic even, but he lets his canine graze the soft flesh of your ear, relishing in the way your body tenses. “You make a fuckin’ peep and I’ll snap your pretty little neck. Got it?”
There’s silence for a beat. Two beats, nearly three-
“Nod your god damn head if you understand me,” He snaps, though his voice is still a whisper. You nod, the smallest of movements in his vicelike grip. Dex shifts then, his grip loosening in your hair as his arm releases ever so slightly. Your throat is no longer pinned in the crook of his elbow and you take in a gulp of air, a ragged breath escaping you as your breathing levels out.
“There there,” His tone is condescending as he shifts his stance, turning so that he can grin at the top of your head. “That’s it.”
You’re still shaking in his grip, though the anger is now laced with fear. “What do you want, Dex?” Your tone is biting despite the circumstances that’s got you vibrating in your neighbor’s grip.
Dex is silent for a moment, seemingly mulling over what he’d like to say to you. “You weren’t supposed to find out about this,” He finally laments and you nearly scoff.
“That you were stalking me? No shit.” Dex’s grip around your throat tightens again and you hiss, eyes snapping shut. You should have stayed silent.
“Don’t be so-” He huffs before he’s stretching his neck, shoulders flexing like he’s trying to get comfortable. “Condescending, Y/N.” He sucks on his teeth, feet shifting as he taps a rhythm against your wrists. “This wasn’t supposed to happen this way.”
“You’re an asshole,” You wheeze, back arching as you try to crane your neck, desperate to be free from this lunatic’s grip. He only laughs behind you. It sounds dry, unamused, bored even.
“Maybe,” His lips are against your ear again. You hate the way goose bumps ripple across your skin. A breathy chuckle escapes him and his warm breath ghosts across the skin of your collar bones. It seems as if he’ll say more, but instead Dex stays silent, fingers flexing against your wrists like he’s deciding whether or not he’ll release you.
Ultimately, he decides to, thick bicep slowly straightening as he releases you from his vicelike chokehold. Your head tips forward, and you swallow, a dull ache now present in the muscles of your throat. You suck in a lungful of air, acutely aware of how tense Dex is behind you. He hasn’t released your wrists yet, instead allowing his free hand to drift across your shoulders as he mulls over what he should do next.
“Why me?” The words escape you before you’ve properly thought about how they could impact the obviously unwell man behind you.
Dex is silent. You try to crave your neck to see him, but his hand is suddenly gripping your jaw, forcing your gaze forward. You hiss, his grip bruising as he keeps you in place.
“Keep your gaze forward.”
You breathe hard through your gritted teeth, jaw flexing as you try to control the anger simmering beneath the surface. “You don’t have to manhandle me so much.”
Dex sucks his teeth again, index finger tapping a soft rhythm against the corner of your lip. “You’re feisty. Can’t chance it again.”
You almost smile, the memory of your fist connecting with his lip replaying in your mind. He clearly hadn’t anticipated you attacking first when he’d pushed the doors of your balcony open and walked in like he’d owned the place. How many times had he done that? He’d seemed too comfortable, too smooth. Was it only when you weren’t home? What about when you were sleeping?
Realizing Dex was stalking you had been…jarring, to say the least. You’d known for months that something was off in your every day life, and you’d only recently started to put your finger on it. A stalker. You’d started watching everyone in your life more closely, waiting for a slip up, anything. You hadn’t expected it to be Dex, or maybe you’d hoped it wouldn’t be. The calm, calculated, handsome man who lived in the apartment above you. FBI. It made sense, right? He had the skills, the experience, the motive. But Dex had been nice, you’d even considered him somewhat of a friend.
But rounding the corner and recognizing the way the man’s shoulder’s shifted when you’d caught someone in the reflection of the window of a storefront? It impressed Dex. You were smart, observant, and your intuition was almost alarming it was so accurate.
You’d surprised him. Even more so when you’d stared straight through him, eyes fixed on where his should have been in the reflection and said one simple word; his name.
His full name.
“Poindexter.”
It was firm, resolute, almost…eerie. He’d frozen, heart in his throat, how had you caught him?
But before he could move forward, explain himself, explain that he was just worried about you, just wanted to make sure his neighbor was safe, that she was cared for, you were gone.
You’d taken off in a sprint, purse tucked carefully under your arm, breath laboured.
Fuck.
Where were you supposed to go?
Home, you realized. Because where else? He knew everything about you, because not only was he stalking you, you had let him in. Trusted him. Considered him a friend.
But home? It had everything you needed. You could grab your things and then run. Going to the police would do nothing. He was FBI. You were positive he had tricks up his sleeve, he was Dex-he was smart.
How had you been so dumb? How had you not known it was Dex?
Somewhere deep within you whispered that you were being foolish. You had suspected Dex for weeks, maybe even known it was him, but had foolishly hoped that just this once, maybe you were wrong. Maybe he was just looking out for you. He was charming, friendly, skilled. You enjoyed his company. Why would you assume something so big that it could ruin the very nice thing you had going with your neighbor?
Well, that tended to fall apart when he 1) stalked you, and 2) you tried to knock him over with a chair.
Dex had landed in your apartment like a lynx-smooth, silent, quick.
And you’d slammed your kitchen chair into his chest like you were an MMA fighter.
The fight only escalated from there.
You were proud of the way you’d handled yourself, more rage than fear burning through you as you fought the greying blonde. You’d landed a few hits, teeth bared as you fought to simply knock him down and have him stay down long enough to run again.
But Dex was strong, and skilled. He’d tried at first to simply subdue you-he didn’t want to hurt you, he cared about you. You were smart, kind, you’d let him in and listen when he was struggling. But you were also landing hits and your strength surprised him.
Eventually, he’d had to knock you down, use his full strength to keep you down. He hadn’t meant to be so rough, but you’d nearly knocked his jaw out of place. It was only fair that he knocked you back with just enough effort to get you into a position he could control.
But not before you’d bitten him.
“Fuck!” He’d nearly shouted when your teeth had sank into the muscle of his shoulder. He’d had to wrench you away from him like some wild animal, and he’d nearly snapped your neck with the force it had taken. His hand had been curled in your hair, grip tight enough to hurt as he’d pulled you off of him, his own blood coating your teeth.
He didn’t miss the way his chest had tightened at the sight.
You were tougher than he’d given you credit for.
But the tussle had hurt the both of you, and now here you were; back pressed against his chest, both of you bruised and bloodied, rage and betrayal coiled like snakes in the pits of your stomach. Dex, angry that he’d made such a fuck up with you, lip split and sore from where your fist had connected with it and you; betrayed and bloodthirsty because how dare a man pull such a cruel stunt? Was it what you deserved for having had faith that maybe just this one time, one would prove themselves to be good?
“Why?” Your voice was sharp, words almost slurred from the way he was gripping your jaw. “Why were you stalking me?”
You couldn’t see it, but Dex’s face curled into a grimace. He was embarrassed and angry with himself for having gotten caught. He had just wanted to make sure you were safe, that you were okay. You were too nice, listened too often to assholes who could hurt you, men who may try to take your time, time away from him.
His breathing was laboured, sharp, head buzzing with adrenaline-no, fear-as he tried to collect himself.
“Answer me,” You growled and suddenly Dex was pushing his pointer and middle finger past your swollen lower lip, the rough pads of his fingers heavy against your tongue. You started, nearly recoiling at the way he was silencing you, thicker fingers pressing past your teeth.
“Shh, just let me-let me-” Dex shudders behind you, stance shifting as he tries to collect himself. “Let me think.”
You blink, eyes wide. You could bite him, right now, leave him bloodied and injured with the way he’s got you situated. Two fingers pressed against your tongue, nose buried in your hair as he tries to collect himself.
You don’t, instead you find yourself trying not to flush with embarrassment at the way your spit is beginning to soak the digits. Your teeth press lightly into the skin, breath warm around him.
Dex lifts his head after a few moments, swallowing loudly behind you. The gesture doesn’t seem to be intentional in its sexual nature, and Dex seems to be genuinely lost in himself behind you, his anxiety obvious as it continues to climb.
“I-I didn’t mean to scare you,” Dex finally begins to speak, and his voice sounds different, somewhat smaller. His fingers flex absentmindedly against your tongue as he struggles to find the words, desperate to explain himself.
He couldn’t handle you leaving, hating him.
“It started out simple, I was just looking out for you. I was worried-” Dex lets out a shaky breath and you feel the way it shifts across the back of your neck. He licks his lips before he continues, “You’re too nice to people. Your exes, coworkers, hell even strangers, they try to take advantage of you.”
You frown, tongue shifting against his fingers as if to protest because no, you establish boundaries and are quite good at communicating-
But Dex’s fingers flatten against your tongue, silencing you. You try to swallow the spit that’s accumulating in your mouth but it’s difficult given the way he’s pressing into your mouth. You feel the digits press against the roof of your mouth as your tongue shifts, drool slipping past the edge of your mouth and down the corner of your lip, soaking his fingers.
The filthy nature of the situation is embarrassing.
Still, you squirm, ashamed at the part of you that’s thrilled by the way he’s got your wrists pinned, how he’s silencing you, and how desperate he sounds behind you as he struggles to explain himself.
“I care about you Y/N,” He says earnestly in your ear, sighing behind you. “I’m just trying to keep you safe. Can’t you see that?”
He was delusional, far more damaged than you’d originally thought, and fear prickled along the length of your spine. He genuinely believed he was in the right, that he was doing you a service, that he was a hero of sorts.
“Please,” His voice is desperate, near whiny. “Can’t you see that?”
You try to pull your head away from him, his fingers pressing too deeply into your throat, a breathy sound escaping you. You can’t speak, can’t answer him when he’s got you situated like this. If he pressed any further into your mouth you feared you may gag on him.
“I’m gonna move my hands, okay?” Dex’s voice is a bit more firm now as he speaks, his lips beside your ear. “Don’t scream.”
There’s a beat of silence before Dex begins to slowly slide his fingers across your tongue, pulling them from your mouth before he’s holding your jaw again. His hand is wet against your skin as he cradles your face in hand, his firm grip a reminder of the control he has over the situation.
Your tongue slides across your lip, the salt of his skin mixing with the iron of your blood.
“You didn’t need to stalk me,” Your voice is hoarse. “I was-” You sigh, frustrated as you struggle to find the words. “I thought we were friends.”
A little more, actually. You’d hoped he was interested and had fantasized about him more than you’d ever care to admit out loud.
“We are friends,” Dex insists, shifting closer to you. You startle, eyes widening as your hands brush against the crotch of his jeans. It isn’t intentional, you know that, it’s just the nature of the position he’s still got you forced in. Your wrists are trapped in his much larger hand, pressed against your tailbone as he shifts closer. “I just had to make sure you were safe-”
“That’s bullshit and you know it,” You snap back, and it’s far more mean than you’d meant it to be. “That’s not what you were doing Dex, so cut the bullshit.”
You crane your neck to look back at him and for the first time this evening, Dex allows you to. You can only catch the corner of his face but what you can see startles you.
Pupils blown wide, greying hair moussed, drying blood at his temple, nostrils flared as he tries to catch his breath.
He looked…scared.
“Tell me why. Now. And be honest.”
Dex opens his mouth to speak again, stuttering over more bullshit before you’re rocking your head back, skull connecting with his chin. He curses, nearly losing his grip on you.
It aches but you snap at him again anyway. “Stop lying to me!”
“Fine!” He barks, and suddenly his hand is slipping from your jaw, long, slender fingers wrapping around your throat as he leans forward. “I don’t want to share you.”
You pause, eyes fixed on the wall ahead of you.
“Is that what you wanted to hear?” His voice is a snarl, nasty, mean, as he talks down to you. “I don’t want anyone else spending their time with you. Listening to you, learning you, taking you away from me. I can do all of that for you. I can be there for you, help you, keep you safe. Isn’t that enough?”
You should be scared. More than that, you should be scared that you’re not scared. But a part of you, maybe the broken part that you should have addressed years ago, is flattered. Flattered that someone as intelligent, calculated and skilled as Dex has become so possessive over you. Flattered that someone so handsome was angry at the thought of sharing you.
So when you flex your hand and your palm flattens against the zipper of Dex’s jeans, right where his dick should be, and you feel him catch his breath, you don’t say a word. It seems innocent enough, like you’re trying to release some of the tension in your muscles, but Dex’s fingers flex against the smooth skin of your neck and you feel it-
Feel the way his cock flexes against your palm, the way it seems to jump to life at your touch.
Dex seems startled by it, swallowing loudly. “What’re you-”
He’s cut off when you cup him, grip tight as a strangled moan escapes him, face tipping forward against the back of your head as he momentarily loses control. Your pulse flutters under his fingertips, hands pinned between your ass and his front as you gently squeeze his hardening cock.
“Y/N,” Your name is a breathy warning on his tongue, his eyes wide as he stares down at your hand and how you’re palming him. This wasn’t what he’d expected, especially not with how angry you’d been with him only moments before. “If this is some sort of game-” He’s cut off when a strangled grunt escapes him, your thumb rubbing circles over the head of his sensitive dick. He can feel the wet spot forming in his jeans as his hips jerk forward, desperate for more friction, for more of you.
Was this mean? Maybe. Cruel? Probably. Maybe that should have startled you, but it didn’t. Instead, you continued to palm Dex’s growing erection through his jeans, thumb swiping across the growing wet spot where the leaking slit should be. His breathing was laboured, hot against your scalp as his hand flexed around your wrists. His grip on your throat was loosening, thumb coming up to drag across your lower lip.
If you could distract him long enough, then you could break free. That was the plan; use his attraction to you as an advantage, tease him long enough to have him let his guard down so you could escape.
Right.
Yes.
That sounded like a good plan.
Right?
So why could you feel your nipples hardening beneath your bra? And was Dex’s whiny, pathetic moans spurring you on? You could feel your cunt clenching around nothing, a damp heat beginning to flood the space between your thighs, goose bumps rippling across your skin at the way his breathing was shifting as he bucked into your hand.
Normal, you told yourself. My body’s just reacting, perfectly normal.
“Y/N,” He whispered, and it sounded broken. “Please.”
Oh, fuck.
You felt your chest tighten at how desperate he sounded.
Oh…was Dex a sub?
You found yourself screwing your eyes shut, trying desperately to will your body to just shut off and listen, to be scared of the situation, to be logical but Dex’s erection was full now and it was thick in your hand as your fingers traced the shape of it. Long, full, the kind that hurt you as they pushed into you, the kind that had you begging men to slow down as your nails sunk into their hips, the kind that had you squirming because of how good the burn was as they stretched you open.
But of course Dex was big. Of course the complicated, handsome, clearly somewhat insane man who was stalking you also had a huge dick.
And of course he was hard for you.
And of course he was panting and whimpering as he let his forehead fall against your shoulder, tongue lolling out as he lapped at your skin. And of course your name sounded sinful as his teeth grazed the gentle slope of your skin before he was biting into it.
“Ah, Dex!” You hissed, his canines sharp as they pressed into you. His only response was a breathy hum before his fingers were pressing against your lips again, gently tracing the shape of them.
“Open up.”
You didn’t mean to oblige, didn’t mean to moan softly as his fingers slid across your tongue, didn’t mean to have your eyes drift shut when he ground himself further into your hand. You didn’t mean to shiver when his lips pressed against your ear as you drooled on his fingers, didn’t mean to whine when he slid his tongue across your ear, or cry out when he pressed his tongue into your ear and started making out with it.
Oh, fuck-
Squirming didn’t help, didn’t sway him as he continued to lap at your ear, thumb hooked under your chin, two fingers pressing into your tongue as he kept you still for him. He was rutting gently into your hand, tongue wet and hot as it slid over the shell of your ear.
“I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I imagined what you’d sound like once I got my hands on you,” Dex’s voice was deep, breathy, shiver inducing as he spoke gently to you. “How many times I imagined it was me touching you while I listened to all the pretty sounds you make when you make yourself feel good.”
Your eyes snapped open, startled at the realization that Dex has been spying on you while at home. You struggled to speak against his fingers but Dex just tutted in response. “Mm mm,” He hummed, gently pushing your tongue down. “Stay quiet for me.”
The action had heat flooding your core. The lack of control had you sinking into his grip.
“I want to make you feel good,” Dex begged in your ear, nose brushing against your temple. “Please, Y/N, let me make you feel good.” He gently withdrew his fingers from your mouth, spit soaked and shaking slightly as he gently pressed them against your cheek. He was silent as he waited for you to respond.
You paused, heart hammering in your chest as you mulled over your options. Dex was buzzing behind you, acutely aware of the infinitely thin ledge he was currently toeing with you.
He only breathed a sigh of relief when he felt you shift to curl your fingers around his belt buckle and tug, hands still trapped behind you.
“Take these off,” You murmured and Dex swallowed, hand still wrapped tightly around your wrists. He couldn’t let go, fearful you’d run, his need to control control control overruling his desire.
Dex shuffled back half an inch, eyes dark as he began to fumble with his belt buckle. He was watching your hands flex in his grip, finger tips tracing the obvious bulge in his jeans as he struggled to pull the belt free. It took only a few moments despite the slight shake in his hands, before he was watching with bated breath as you pinched his zipper and tugged.
“Dex, help.”
He felt like he couldn’t focus, heart in his throat as he unbuttoned his jeans, watching the way you tugged the zipper down and pushed past the fabric, fingers slipping beneath the waist band of his briefs and then-
Dex should have been embarrassed at the sound that escaped him when your fingers wrapped around the thick shaft of his dick. He should have been embarrassed with how his hips jerked forward when your grip tightened, the weight of him heavy in your palm when you pulled his dick from his pants started jerking him off. He should have been embarrassed at how turned on he was watching your fingers trace the flushed tip of his cock despite the fact that he was still holding your wrists in his other hand, how your hands were still being held behind your back, how big his dick looked in your smaller hands, and how he couldn’t peel his eyes away when he started gently bucking into your grip.
“Dex.”
He realized you’d been gently calling his name and he whimpered, cock flexing.
“Hm?” He hummed, half lidded gaze lifting to the back of your head.
“Spit on it. Spit on my hand.”
His cock jumped in your hand at the lewd command and he damn near busted in that moment.
“Y-yes m’am,” He finally managed, tongue sliding across the back of his teeth before he was gathering his spit. It was filthy, the way it sounded as he tipped his head forward and spat onto the length of his cock and watched as it slid across your fingers. Even filthier still when you began to jerk him off again, using his own spit as lube.
Dex’s eyes snapped shut, head falling forward as he cried out, hips stuttering at the brutal pace you’d set. It was somewhat awkward, your hands still forced behind your back, the tip of his cock pressed against your ass, his free hand moving back up to wrap around your throat as you jerked him off. He was a mess, breathing laboured as he whined in your ear, soft gasps escaping him every time the edge of your tight fist caught the sensitive tip.
He wasn’t going to last long, not like this. Not with his face buried in your hair and the scent of your conditioner flooding his senses. Not with the way you were tightening your grip on him. Not with the way your own breathing had shifted, or how you were encouraging him to let go.
“That’s it Dex,” Your voice was so god damn soft, so you, so- “That’s it baby, does that feel good?”
He ruts forward at the pet name, fingers flexing around your wrists.
“Uh huh,” It’s breathy, needy. Embarrassing.
“Is this how you wanna cum?” Your voice is like honey, though somewhat condescending and Dex feels like he may keel over. His cock is unbelievably sensitive in your firm grip, the obscene shlick shlick sounds drifting upwards as you continue to tug on him, precum and his own spit mixing across the thick length and flushed tip.
“D-do I have a choice?” He manages, and he tilts his head forward, pupils blown wide as he stares down at your chest. Fuck, you look good.
He can hear the way you grin as you answer; “No.”
Dex can’t help himself, can’t help the way his hand shifts from your throat and slides down your chest, how he palms your tit through the flimsy fabric of your tank top, can’t help the way he tugs the cup of your bra down so he can let his fingers drag across your nipples. He can’t help the way he feels your arch in his grip, chest pressing into his hand when he pinches your sensitive peaks, or the way his grin turns sinister when your body so clearly responds to him.
He knew you liked him, knew you wouldn’t deny him, knew you were his. Filthy, desperate, needy, just like him. All his.
No one else deserved to have this, have you. You belonged with him, to him.
“That’s it,” His voice is soft, though the tone is almost cruel as he tugs your top and bra beneath your breast, pushing it free and leaving you exposed. He lifts his hand to your mouth once more and taps your lips, encourage you to open your mouth. You oblige, a soft sound of surprise escaping you when he forces his fingers into your mouth for the umpteenth time that evening. “Suck.”
You do, eyes drifting shut as your tongue slides across his thick fingers, cheeks hollowing as you suck him further into your mouth. You can hear the way Dex moans behind you, body sagging against you as he ruts more aggressively into your fist. Needy son of a bitch.
He pulls his fingers free from your mouth with a wet pop and you whine softly, though it’s replaced with a loud gasp when he begins to toy with your exposed nipple, coating it in your own spit.
“How’s that, hm?” His voice is barely above a whisper, blonde scruff dragging against the soft shell of your ear as he speaks. “Feel good?”
Your head falls back against his shoulder, grip tightening around his cock as you momentarily surrender to the pleasure. Dex shouldn’t have known these things, known exactly what got you going, but clearly he’d been stalking and watching you for far longer than you’d realized.
A particularly sharp tug has you gasping, eyes snapping open.
“Answer me.”
You nod, thighs clenching at the harsh treatment, before answering: “Y-yes Dex, it feel’sgood.”
“Good girl,” It’s a purr in your ear, his voice smooth as velvet as he continues to palm at your chest. Your eyes drifting shut, mouth falling open as Dex continues to fuck his cock into your slick fist, his grip still bruising as he holds your wrists. It was filthy, abhorrent, the way he seemed to be using you to pleasure yourself, and yet you found yourself growing needier, pussy soaked, as time wore on.
You moaned softly as Dex’s large, warm palm began to smooth down the expanse of your rib cage and over your stomach, fingers dipping into the waist band of your pants.
“This what you want, huh?” He asks, near breathless. You try to turn to him, to catch his gaze, but he’s got his chin on your shoulder, eyes glued to your arching body. “Filthy girl, so needy for me, pretendin’ she’s mad that I know her.” His hand slips below your jeans and you gasp, suddenly nervous. “That I need her.”
“Wait-” You startle, trying to straighten. “Dex-”
His fingers are suddenly sliding between the slick folds of your pussy and you cry out, startled by the sheer amount of slick to be found, and how fuckin’ sensitive you are.
You hadn’t realized how needy he’d made you feel until his middle finger was gently sliding over your swollen clit.
“Fuck!” It was a gasp as you arched, head pressing against his shoulder.
“Don’t try and stop me,” He snarls, and the animalistic gaze that meets yours when your eyes open should have scared you. You know that, that Dex should scare you shitless, but instead you find yourself clenching around his fingers as he pushes two into your aching cunt.
“Gah, Dex!” You nearly sob, fist tight around his dick as he begins pumping his fingers into you, palm pressed flat against your swollen clit, an embarrassing amount of slick now covering his hand and fingers.
Dex curses, hips jumping forward, before he turns to press his lips against your ear, merciless as he begins to work you open.
“I know you more than you know yourself,” It’s a growl, a warning. “Let me in. Let me take care of you.”
The pace is brutal, filthy, the wet sounds of his fingers pushing into you are obscene as they fill the dark expanse of your now messy apartment. You’re on the tips of your toes, back arching, head pressed into Dex’s shoulder as his palm pushes against your clit. Your breathing is laboured, whines and praise freely escaping you as Dex works you up faster than any man ever has.
“D-Dex!” It’s a warning, your thighs shaking, as you struggle to continue to pump his cock, eyes blurring with tears as your orgasm builds at an alarming rate. You want so desperately to continue to pleasure him, his cock unbelievably hard in your fist as he forces you to ride his fingers.
“That’s it pretty girl,” His voice is shaking with the effort he’s putting into making you cum on him. “Gonna watch you cum all over me, all for me, yeah? Isn’t that what you want? Do it, fuckin’ cum for me. All over my fingers-” He tilts his head, grinning as his lips brush against your ear once more. “Before I fill you to the fuckin’ brim with my cock. See how pretty you look when I stretch you open.”
His voice sends you over the edge with a loud cry, eyes squeezed shut as begin to shake in his firm grip, thighs desperately trying to close around his thick fingers. But Dex doesn’t slow, doesn’t stop as he continues his brutal pace, fingers pushing into your fluttering cunt.
“Keep touching me baby,” He pleads, breathless when he finally, finally, releases your wrists and wraps his hand around your throat again, keeping you pinned against him as he forces you to ride out your orgasm.
It’s overwhelming, overstimulating as you clench around his thick fingers, and you feel delirious when Dex is suddenly grunting in your ear, hot ropes of cum spilling across your hand and the back of your ass as he cums into your fist. He’s still pumping his fingers into you as he cums, whining in your ear as he ruts into your hand. You try, desperately to make sense of what’s happening, to gather your thoughts and do something, anything, as you come down from the high but instead you’re sinking against him, watching with bleary eyes as he pulls his hand from your jeans and-
God, you came so hard you fuckin’ creamed on his fingers and you can see it-
Dex’s pupils are blown wide, eyes half open as he pushes his fingers into his mouth and sucks them clean. He moans, eyes fluttering shut, tongue lapping at the digits like it’s the most delicious thing he’s ever tasted and it has you licking your lips.
Dex keeps his eyes on you as he hand slips back into your jeans, fingers lazily pumping into you for a few moments, ignoring the way you wince and cry out softly, before he’s bringing his cum soaked fingers to your lips once more. He taps them-
once.
twice.
“Open up.”
You do, moaning softly as he presses his fingers against your tongue once more, the sweet, salty taste of your cum flooding your senses.
“That’s it,” Dex coos, voice unbelievably soft as he urges you on. “Such a good girl for me.”
He gently pulls his fingers free from you then before resting them against your lips. You have only a moment of rest before Dex is suddenly kissing you, breath hot as he laps at his fingers that are still pinned between your mouths.
You groan, mouth opening as you lick at his spit and cum soaked fingers, your tongues dancing and lapping at one another’s and around his thick digits. It’s wet, needy and unbearably hot. Despite the fact that he’s released your wrists, you keep them behind your back, still holding his softening, cum soaked cock in your hands while you kiss around his fingers.
Dex pulls back after a while, breathing heavy, a thick line of saliva attaching his swollen lips to yours, his pupils blown wide as he watches you. There’s a long stretch of silence as you regard one another, your breathing levelling out as you relax in your stalker’s embrace.
“I will not share you.”
Unfortunately, you’re starting to like the sound of that.
Wolf Like Me // Benjamin Poindexter (Bullseye) x Reader // Epilogue
Summary:
Y/N Fisk has returned to the city to aid in her father’s mayoral campaign, leaving behind her profiler job at Quantico. Her plea to live alone, away from her father’s prying eyes, is met with one condition - a bodyguard. Desperate to have some semblance of freedom in the city, Y/N agrees. Enter Benjamin Poindexter - a disgraced FBI agent with nothing to lose and everything to prove. When tensions climb, will they give in? Or will Wilson Fisk haunt their every move?
Words: 1155
Tags: eventual smut, slow burn, canon typical violence, mental instability, childhood trauma, gun violence, sexual tension, falling in love, protective Wilson Fisk, profiler!reader, criminal minds au (ish)
Ao3 Link - here!
Series Masterlist - here!
Author's Note: Thank you for reading! All comments and likes are appreciated!
1.5 years later
It’s July in New York City, just before the fourth, and I’m panicking. I knew it was a mistake to have the wedding in NYC, especially because my father stated he would spare no expense if I agreed to have it here. That being said, I did take full advantage of my father’s deep pockets to create my dream wedding. No more than two hundred guests, though most of them are my father’s guests and not mine. No, I’m panicking because I can’t find Dex.
It’s the morning of our wedding, and he was supposed to check in with Buck an hour ago, and instead, he’s seemingly vanished off the face of the earth. I wrack my brain for where he could be. BB is trying to calm me down to no avail, and even Garcia is trying to track him by hacking into security cameras around Midtown on my work laptop. I hope I don’t get a citation for that. It occurs to me, the one place he might be, the place where we had our first realization of feelings, if you want to call it that. I tell the girls I’m going to the bathroom and slip out the door and down the elevator before they can even realize I was lying. The Marriott is beautiful and imposing, but I’m not focused on my wedding venue as I cross the street into Central Park and make my way to the bench.
Sure enough, Dex is sitting there, watching the ducks swim by. I clear my throat, and he jumps. I sit down next to him.
“You’re, uh, late for check-in this morning.”
“I know. I just needed a moment.”
“Having second thoughts?” I say with a chuckle.
“Hardly. Buck just gives me the creeps.”
“Ditto.”
“How’d you know I’d be here?”
“Because I know you very well.”
“It’s weird being in the city, sometimes. Makes me think of how we first met. And how I thought you hated me.”
“Hate is a strong word.” I chuckle, “You just pissed me off sometimes.”
“We’ve been in the city a lot this year. Who knew planning a wedding would be so much work?”
“I like seeing you in your element. I think in another life you were a badass wedding planner who didn’t take shit from anybody.” He says with a smile. I laugh.
“Instead, I’m just a profiler.”
“No, you’re a badass profiler. And you’re about to be my badass wife.” He kisses my forehead.
“Can you believe Matt agreed to come to the wedding?”
“Well, ever since he took that bullet for your father, I think we both know why he came to the wedding.”
We sit like that for a while, people watching, reminiscing on the last two years. And when we both feel ready, we walk back hand in hand to the Marriott. Everyone is pissed that we disappeared, but the rest of the day goes off without a hitch. My father walks me down the aisle, and everyone watches in hushed reverence. Dex is smiling at me, and it’s the smile that’s meant just for me, the soft one that crinkles his cheek scar. My father hugs me and hands me off to Dex, and the ceremony commences.
We agreed on no personal vows because those words are only meant for us, so I’m surprised when Dex and the minister share a look, and Dex is given the microphone.
“What are you doing?” I hiss, and he just smiles at me.
“As many of you may know, I was assigned to be Y/N’s bodyguard about two years ago. To no one’s surprise, we butted heads constantly. For the first couple of weeks, we fought relentlessly. She dragged me out to nightclubs, which I hated.” Everyone laughs, including my father, and that fuels Dex’s speech. “And when she fell asleep in my car for the fifth time, and I carried her up the steps into her apartment, something changed, for both of us. We find a quiet sort of comfort in each other, two people who had very fuck-, excuse me, messed-up lives, had somehow found each other in the chaos we call life. We still fought, but there was something else there, too. Something we both tried to ignore. When the attack at the gala happened, we both realized that life was way too short to ignore what we had, and that was the night I realized I was well, and truly, a goner.” More laughs and some knowing nods. “Y/N is my whole world. She brings light and love to those around her and the effect she has on people is truly amazing. I know that I am a better person not only because I know Y/N, but because I love her, and by some crazy twist of fate, she loves me too. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with her, and look forward to pissing her off somehow, every single day. I cannot fathom my life without you, and I love you so much.”
I’m crying now, and he hands the microphone back to the minister, giving me a conspiratorial wink as he does so.
“We said no personal vows,” I mouth at him.
“You said it, I never did,” he mouths back, and I scowl at him. He just smiles, pleased with himself. The rest of the ceremony goes off without a hitch, and the reception is even lovelier. The absence of Vanessa is noted but not unwelcome. Dex and I are sitting at our sweetheart’s table finishing up dinner when the DJ announces it’s time for the father-daughter dance.
My father takes my hand, and we sway to the beat.
“You look beautiful today.”
“Thank you. And thank you for letting me wear my mother’s dress.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” And we chuckle, both knowing that he always gets his way. “I’m happy that you’re happy.”
“Thank you, father.”
“And I’m happy that you’ve come to visit, as you’ve promised. I know I’m not an easy parent, and you were never an easy child, but I believe we made it out okay.”
I nod my agreement. The song ends quickly, and Dex steps in for the first dance.
“You look so beautiful.” Dex murmurs in my ear.
“You’ve told me that, like, a hundred times today,” I say with a laugh.
“And I meant it every single time,” he replies. “I can’t wait to take it off of you later.”
“Pervert.”
“Happily.” He answers, and I can hear the smile in his voice.
“Not cool, pulling a fast one on me with those vows.”
“I wanted to surprise you.”
“And you did just that.”
“Did you like it?”
“I loved it. Just like I love you. It was perfect, thank you.”
Wolf Like Me // Benjamin Poindexter (Bullseye) x Reader // Chapter Eight
Summary:
Y/N Fisk has returned to the city to aid in her father’s mayoral campaign, leaving behind her profiler job at Quantico. Her plea to live alone, away from her father’s prying eyes, is met with one condition - a bodyguard. Desperate to have some semblance of freedom in the city, Y/N agrees. Enter Benjamin Poindexter - a disgraced FBI agent with nothing to lose and everything to prove. When tensions climb, will they give in? Or will Wilson Fisk haunt their every move?
Words: 1219
Tags: eventual smut, slow burn, canon typical violence, mental instability, childhood trauma, gun violence, sexual tension, falling in love, protective Wilson Fisk, profiler!reader, criminal minds au (ish)
Ao3 Link - here!
Series Masterlist - here!
Election day rolls around, and my father has requested our presence at a party he’s throwing. He’s largely projected to win, much to my disappointment, but we show up to the party anyway. Dex pops a couple of ibuprofens in the car before we head up, his shoulder still bothering him, even though it is healing pretty quickly. I’m in a pretty blush pink dress that has cap sleeves and falls to my mid-thigh. Dex looks handsome in a suit with a matching pocket square, the same shade of pink as my dress. We make our way up to the penthouse and are greeted by Buck, who is on door duty. He waves us in immediately, and we disappear into the throng of people, all of whom are under my father’s thumb one way or another.
I make small talk with some people until we run into Daniel in the corner.
“Holy shit!” He exclaims. “I had heard the rumors, but wasn’t going to believe it until I saw it with my own two eyes. The princess and the bodyguard. What a romantic story.” I smack him on the shoulder.
“Shut up, Daniel!” I say, but grin at Dex, who’s already grinning at me. “Do you think we should make out in front of all these people?” I ask Dex sweetly, who laughs.
“Gross,” Daniel mutters. He lowers his voice as he says, “I heard what happened. I’m sorry.” I raise an eyebrow at him.
“My father must really trust you if you know what happened.” Daniel shrugs, seemingly pleased with himself. “But thank you. Any word on the she-devil?”
Daniel winces and points, and sure enough, Vanessa is across the room next to my father, regarding us with a pinched face. I choke back a laugh and smack Daniel’s hand down.
“Don’t point, dumbass!”
“What, you asked!”
“Unbelievable. I can’t believe you’re my father’s second right-hand man.” I say, pulling Dex away and back into the crowd.
“Hey! What do you mean by ‘second’?” I laugh and keep moving. The rest of the party goes off with a hitch, with Vanessa on a tight leash next to my father. I eat my way through all the little appetizers and even get Dex to try some, despite his predisposition for boring food. Several agents are there, and they recognize Dex and quickly realize that he’s no longer my bodyguard by the lingering gazes and the hand that stays firmly planted on the small of my back through all the conversations. After what feels like an eon of socializing, the election results are announced, and as predicted, my father has won. The party is an uproar, and I tell Dex I need a moment, retreating to my father’s study for a moment of reprieve. I’m browsing the various titles there when I hear my father clear his voice behind me.
“Congratulations, father,” I say, turning to face him.
“Thank you. I take it you will be returning to Virginia, now that your work here is done?”
“If that is okay with you, yes, I’d like to return to Virginia.”
“And what of Special Agent Poindexter?”
“You know, you can call him Dex.” He winces in response. “His transfer application has already been approved. Which surprised me, given your…influences with the bureau.”
“I approved his transfer request.”
My eyebrows raise.
“Thank you, father.”
“I knew it would make you happy. Though…” he pauses, “I will miss you while you are gone. I only ask that you both come and visit more often.” I nod, conceding to his request.
“As you wish. Enjoy your party, father.” I say over my shoulder as I leave his study.
I find Dex, and we leave quietly, and I say goodbye to a few people.
The next few days are a blur – packing up my apartment, saying goodbye to BB and Matt. Matt, who begrudgingly offers Dex a handshake and tells him that he’s a good teammate. And a not-so-veiled threat that he wouldn’t hesitate to kill him should it come to it – how nice.
As I stand in the entryway to the apartment, I regard the space that had given me so much in such little time. I don’t even realize I’m crying until Dex asks me if I’m okay. I tell him I am, that I’m just thankful for my time here. How I had spent weeks dreading coming back to the city, and now it feels so hard to leave, given everything that had happened. He says he understands and wraps me in a tight hug.
We drive to Virginia in a U-Haul. Dex sold off most of his stuff, claiming he didn’t have an emotional attachment to it anyway, and almost six hours later, we’re standing outside of a newly purchased house (a parting gift from my father, and what I believe is his apology for his hellish wife attacking us). The door is cracked, and Dex and I look at each other and nod, pulling our guns out and entering together.
“SURPRISE!” People shout, and we both whirl, guns raised, and quickly lower them when I see it’s just my team. They all laugh as we hastily put our guns away, and the next moment, JJ is hugging me with rib-crushing strength.
“Y/N, we’ve missed you so much!” She whispers in my ear. I can see Dex introducing himself to everyone else. “And I’ve heard so much about you.” She says and disregards Dex’s hand and just straight up hugs him. He looks bewildered and awkwardly pats her on the back. I laugh so hard I think I’m going to puke, and she winks at me when she lets him go.
“Oh my god, you guys got Hangry Joe’s!” I say, taking in the feast on the table.
“We figured you guys would be hungry.”
“Starving!” I say.
The rest of the night goes off without a hitch, JJ and Prentiss grill Dex, while Garcia prods for steamy details. Rossi and Luke swap battle stories with Dex, and we all genuinely have a good time. After we eat, they help us unpack everything, and as I watch Dex’s muscles strain while he helps the men carry in the couch, I bite my lip. Garcia giggles at me. I shoot her a look and shout,
“Be careful with the stitches, Dex!” To which he shoots back,
“I know my limits, Y/N!”
Once all the big things are unpacked and boxes are in the right rooms, JJ digs through my box of kitchenware until she holds up my wine glasses triumphantly. We crack open a bottle of pinot and drink it quickly, a second bottle following. Dex curses as he tries to get the Wifi set up, and the men are unpacking and putting away the rest of the kitchenware. Everyone leaves around 10:00 PM, and Dex and I settle in on the couch.
“We’re gonna need a lot more furniture to fill this house up.” I bemoan.
“That just means you get to do more shopping, so I’m not sure why you’re complaining,” Dex says, with a soft smile.
“Wait, you’re totally right. But that can wait until tomorrow. As for right now, I do think it’s high time to christen the house, don’t you think?”
Wolf Like Me // Benjamin Poindexter (Bullseye) x Reader // Chapter Seven
Summary:
Y/N Fisk has returned to the city to aid in her father’s mayoral campaign, leaving behind her profiler job at Quantico. Her plea to live alone, away from her father’s prying eyes, is met with one condition - a bodyguard. Desperate to have some semblance of freedom in the city, Y/N agrees. Enter Benjamin Poindexter - a disgraced FBI agent with nothing to lose and everything to prove. When tensions climb, will they give in? Or will Wilson Fisk haunt their every move?
Words: 1299
Tags: eventual smut, slow burn, canon typical violence, mental instability, childhood trauma, gun violence, sexual tension, falling in love, protective Wilson Fisk, profiler!reader, criminal minds au (ish)
Ao3 Link - here!
Series Masterlist - here!
I didn’t sleep at all while Dex was in surgery and I felt tired in my very bones until he woke up with a soft grunt in the hospital room. The doctors and nurses didn’t ask many questions once they saw he was with me and immediately whisked him away. I fought the nurses until they let me scrub into the surgery, paranoid that one of Vanessa’s men would finish him off during the operation. The procedure went smoothly, though, and an hour and a half after getting stitched up, Dex awoke.
His fingers grip mine tightly as he comes to.
“Are you okay?” He asks, eyes looking me over.
“Am I okay? Are you okay?” He tests his shoulder and winces.
“A little sore, but it should heal up soon.” He sits up. “Vanessa? Where’s Vanessa?”
“Well, seeing as my Father texted me, ‘We need to talk’ about thirty minutes ago, my guess is she’s with him. So, we might be dead meat.” I sigh, and Dex groans. He moves to get out of bed. “Whoa, what are you doing?”
“Leaving? Better to get this over with. I’d prefer to die sooner, rather than later.”
“Fair point. Though I’d prefer if you don’t die for a long time. Let me get the discharge papers.” I know it’s better not to argue with him right now, and my father’s text has me anxious if I’m being honest. The nurse gets the papers, and we’re out in the next thirty minutes. It’s 2:00 AM, and the city is still alive. I’m about to hail a cab when I see Buck, standing beside the SUV he always drives. He looks pissed, but I know it’s our only option. Dex refuses help getting in the backseat, and my heart pangs at the idea that he doesn’t want to look weak in front of a man who might try and kill us tonight. Dex can still put up a fight and we all know it.
The car ride is tense and eerily quiet. Dex’s rough hand is entangled in mine. If Buck notices me leaning on Dex’s good shoulder, he’s smart enough to make no comment about it. I don’t care to pretend that he means nothing to me. If Vanessa knows, surely my father does too. I will not be ashamed of who I choose to love. We pull up in front of the Presidential and are quickly ushered in. The ride up to the top is tense, and Dex moves to drop my hand when the doors open.
“No,” I whisper, “I’m not afraid of him.” Dex’s eyes soften imperceptibly, and he nods, hand tightening around mine. Buck opens the door, and we walk in, a pair, a force to be reckoned with, as we had proven tonight.
My father is standing, looking out over the city, hands clasped behind his back. We stand for a minute, waiting for his attention. Neither of us certainly want to start the conversation. He turns around and looks us over, lingering on our clasped hands.
“Hmm.” He says, and locks eyes with me. “Vanessa said you attacked her.”
Neither of us says a word, our silence damning enough.
“What happened tonight, Y/N?” He asks, face dark. I share a look with Dex, and then I turn back to my father. I tell him everything, sparing no detail, telling him what Vanessa had told me, how we had all been her pawns. His eyes get darker and darker with each word, and he’s fuming by the end.
“Vanessa has greatly underestimated my love for you.” He says when I conclude. He turns back to the window. “Come, you two.”
We join him by the window, looking out at the city.
“This…will be handled internally. Vanessa will be punished. She will not meddle with your life again.” He says, and we read the threat that’s in his voice – despite his affections for her, she will die if she tries to kill me again. “You may find this hard to believe, Y/N, but I’ve only ever wanted for you to be happy. Happy and safe. While I am not pleased with what has unfolded with you two, I can see that he is more than capable of both keeping you safe, and I cannot find myself to be mad at you, my only child. Your mother would have loved how happy he makes you.” Dex’s hand squeezes mine.
“What are you saying, father?” I ask, daring to look him in his eyes, they are the softest I’ve ever seen when he meets my gaze.
“That I want you to be happy, and he does that. Therefore,” he grimaces, “you have my blessing.” He levels a look at Dex. “And I think you are well aware what will happen to you should you hurt her.” Dex nods and releases his hand to extend it to my father. I hold my breath. My father regards the hand for a second and then clasps his own hands around it. They shake, and some sort of understanding passes between them – that they would both die to keep me safe. “You are dismissed.” He says, the moment gone, turning back to the window.
Dex and I make our way to the door, and I turn back.
“Thank you, father.” He doesn’t respond, and we leave, Buck driving us back Dex’s SUV.
“So, I guess you do get to drive. Just this once, though.” Dex says, handing me the keys.
“Really?!”
“I got shot in the shoulder, I probably shouldn’t drive for the next week or so. But so help me God if you crash this car…”
“I won’t, I swear.”
He opens the driver’s side door for me, and I grab his wrist as he walks away.
“Hey.”
“Yeah?” He says, confused.
“I love you.” His whole body stills. “And I know that might be scary to you, and you definitely don’t have to say it back if you don’t feel that way, but I want you to know that every part of me loves you. I love you for exactly who you are, and the fact that you would lay down your life for me. I would do the same for you even though you think you don’t deserve that.”
“I love you.” He says before I can continue, and I blink at him, surprised that he would say it too. “I’ve loved you since the moment you sass-mouthed me the first time we met. You met me toe-for-toe and continue to do so every day. You complete me, make me feel alive, and bring me so much light and laughter that I feel normal. That I could have a normal life with you, well as normal as we can be, given our backgrounds,” he adds with a chuckle. “I have fallen more and more in love with you with every passing moment, and tonight, when I realized there was a chance you’d be ripped away from me before I could tell you those words, I knew I would do anything for you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Foggy. I’ll live every day regretting not telling you, but I can promise you there will be no more secrets from here on out.”
I don’t have it in me to be mad at him and know we can talk about it later as I gasp out a sob and wrap my arms around him, knocking him back a step. His arms tighten around me, and his chest is hitching oddly, and I realize that he’s crying too. We stand like that for a moment before I step back and laugh. He wipes the tears from my cheeks and kisses my forehead.
Wolf Like Me // Benjamin Poindexter (Bullseye) x Reader // Chapter Six
Summary:
Y/N Fisk has returned to the city to aid in her father’s mayoral campaign, leaving behind her profiler job at Quantico. Her plea to live alone, away from her father’s prying eyes, is met with one condition - a bodyguard. Desperate to have some semblance of freedom in the city, Y/N agrees. Enter Benjamin Poindexter - a disgraced FBI agent with nothing to lose and everything to prove. When tensions climb, will they give in? Or will Wilson Fisk haunt their every move?
Words: 2011
Tags: eventual smut, slow burn, canon typical violence, mental instability, childhood trauma, gun violence, sexual tension, falling in love, protective Wilson Fisk, profiler!reader, criminal minds au (ish)
Ao3 Link - here!
Series Masterlist - here!
My head is pounding, and my mouth is Sahara-level dry when I wake up.
“What the?” I mutter, before remembering what happened before the world went black. I tug at the restraints on my wrists to no avail. I’m sitting in a chair in what appears to be an abandoned office building. A quick glance outside tells me I’m on the third and top floor, given the skylight above me. The chair is at least an office chair and has some cushion to it, but I’m in a lot of trouble right now.
“Well, well, well, she’s awake.” A voice drawls from the dark corner of the room. It’s a woman’s voice – one I know very well – Vanessa.
“To what do I owe this pleasure, Vanessa?” I croak out. She steps out of the shadows, clad in white, her lips painted red, as per usual.
“Tonight, you’re just the bait. If your bodyguard, or should I say, lover, comes after you, I can take him out of the equation.” I laugh in her face. So she knows.
“‘Lover’ is such an antiquated term. Boyfriend works perfectly fine, thanks.” She gives me a tight smile. “Besides, what do you get from killing my boyfriend?”
“I get to see the look on your face when the person you love most dies in front of you.” She says simply, with a shrug.
“Cold. I like it. Father has taught you well.” I say, jutting my chin out. “Besides, I don’t think you’ll get what you went. We got in a fight before you kidnapped me.”
“All the more reason for him to come find you. Especially because I told him you have until midnight before I put a bullet right between your eyes.” I blink at that; the only sign of surprise I’ll show her.
“And what could you possibly get from killing me?”
“All of your father’s attention. He cares for you more than you know.”
“And that irks you. Understood.” I pause. “He’ll find out it’s you, eventually.”
“I’ve covered my tracks very well. My men will never breathe a word and take the fall for me.”
“How romantic,” I say sarcastically. She backhands me across the face, and it stings like hell.
“You know, I was quite surprised when I saw you two kissing in the chaos that followed the gala shooting.” She says, starting to pace.
I swallow my shock. “So, it was you who made that noise. Noted.”
“I’m still talking. I had sensed something there, after all, I pushed for Agent Poindexter to be your bodyguard, knowing that you were sure to be attracted to him, and I could eventually take him out of the equation. You see, your father was never involved in the whole Foggy Nelson situation. He asked me to take care of it, and I arranged everything. And now, I can finally close that chapter. You’re just…collateral damage, so to speak.”
“Great. I’m thrilled.”
“You are such a brat, you know that?”
“Oh, I’m well aware.” She glares at me. “So how much time do I have left?” She looks at her watch.
“An hour and twelve minutes.” I nod. She walks to the doorway.
“Good luck. You’re going to need it.” I say, and she gives me another tight-lipped smile and leaves.
Dex
She’s gone. I know it because I waited all of thirty seconds before bursting out of that alleyway and chasing after her. I know I should have told her, knew it was wrong to keep it from her, but I couldn’t risk losing her. I round the block and see her lifeless body getting hauled into an SUV. The doors slam shut, and the car peels off, but my feet don’t falter. I won’t let them – she’s in danger and she needs me. I pull on my balaclava and kick it into high gear. Everything is slowing down around me, and I feel it – the killing calm coming on. I chase the car for six blocks when I hear boots slam down in the alleyway next to me, and Matt catches pace with me. I roll my eyes but keep running. The only thing that matters right now is her.
“You know I still hate you, right?” He says, in between pants.
“The feeling is mutual.” I spits back. We run, chasing the car, and it turns down an alleyway. Moving in sync, we hastily climb the fire escape of the closest apartment building and crouch on the ceiling. Matt’s head is cocked, and I know he’s hearing things I can’t.
“They’re bringing her inside. I count sixteen men, and one woman.” We wait with bated breath. “She’s on the third floor.”
I confirm what he’s seeing. Even though the building is dimly lit, I can see her, slumped in the chair. My heart squeezes. I glance at Matt.
“I’m…sorry. By the way. About what went down.”
Matt turns, and I can feel his gaze burning a hole in me. I stare straight ahead – still wholly focused on her.
“Did you just…apologize to me?”
“I know it doesn’t make up for what I’ve done. Not in the slightest, but I mean it.” He’s silent and turns back to the building.
“She’s changed something in you.” He says, quietly. I don’t answer. All I can think about is her. He’s right, though. I’ve been feeling it for a while now. The first night we met, her brazen defiance and disregard of how lethal I could be cracked open something inside of me. The crack has been growing ever since. I’m still fucked up, sure, but I feel more grounded – settled in who I am – because I have her.
“She’s changed everything about me.” I finally say. “I’m a better person because I met her.”
“Yeah, she tends to have that effect on people.” There’s a ghost of a smile on his face. My phone buzzes.
UNKNOWN: You have until midnight to claim your prize. Or else she’ll expire. Your choice.
I read the text aloud to Matt, and he grimaces and remarks,
“What is it with villains and analogies? I’m sick of it, honestly.”
I chuckle at that and shake my head, agreeing.
We formulate a quick plan, and I glance away every so often to look at Y/N.
“She’s awake and talking,” I say, “What’s she saying?” Matt closes his eyes and focuses.
“Something about the term ‘lovers’ being antiquated? Ah, shit.”
“What?”
“It’s Vanessa.” We both groan – of course, it’s Vanessa. Matt listens in, relaying the information to me.
“Well, at least now we have three people to corroborate Y/N’s story,” I mutter, checking that all my knives are in the same place.
“That is, if you two make it out alive,” Matt says with a grimace. “They’ll be expecting you, but not me. At least we have that element of surprise.”
“There’s a skylight on the roof. I’ll make my entrance there, and you enter from the bottom. If I can free Y/N, she can fight.” Matt frowns.
“I know she can, but I’m not comfortable with her fighting so soon after being drugged. I know what that does to someone.”
“It’s not up to you – it’s up to her – and she’ll want to fight.” Matt gives me a terse nod. I stand up and stretch out as best as I can. The adamantium helps, but I’m still sore from the sudden panicked sprinting and climbing. We split up, Matt taking the first floor. As I cross over to the roof, I hear soft grunts coming from below. A quick glance has confirmed that Matt has taken out the first two goons – fourteen to go. I inspect the skylight and notice a latch. I survey the dark room as best as I can and can see two men inside, close to the doorway. I suck in a breath, pull the skylight open, and drop in.
Y/N
He moves so fast I don’t even register what’s happening at first. The two men guarding the doorway are dead within seconds, blood pouring from their slashed throats onto the floor. Dex pushes them aside and slams the door shut, propping a chair underneath it. He stalks over to me, eyes wild, and grips my head between his hands.
“Are you okay?” He pants, eyes frantically looking me over.
“Yes, I’m fine. My head just hurts.” The relief in his eyes is staggering, and he slices through the restraints. “Knife,” I say, beckoning with my hand as I stand up.
“I told Matt you’d want to fight.”
“Matt is with you?” I ask, surprised, and he nods. “We have to get out of here. She’s going to kill you.”
“I know. Matt heard everything. Come on, let’s go.”
The building is eerily silent when Dex removes the chair and opens the door, but it’s not silent for long as thunderous footsteps slam on the stairs. Dex and I move in harmony, splitting up to either side of the stairwell. Four men rise up and split up to go after us. They’re not holding anything back; they’re fighting to kill, so we do the same. I’m able to trip the first man coming after me, and he curses, falling forward. He lands hard on his stomach, and I leap over him, wrap my legs around the second man’s throat, and bring him to the ground as well. I leap up, both men on the ground and scrambling for their guns. I slam my foot on the second guy’s hand and slash his throat, blood splashing up on my face. The first guy has his gun in his hand and is able to fire off one shot before I slice straight through his Achilles, and he drops the weapon. I pick up his gun and shoot him in the head. I run around to where Dex is standing, eyes still wild despite the two men dead. The second floor is quiet, but when we get to the first floor, Matt is there, facing down with five men, a blade held to Vanessa’s throat.
Dex and I both know he won’t kill her, but we need to make quick work of the men trying to kill all three of us. A quick shot from me has one of the men down, the bullet having gone clean through his chest – he will bleed out quickly. Dex throws one of his knives, and it bounces off the wall before landing deep in a man’s throat – he’s dead immediately.
The third man knocks the gun out of my hand when he barrels into me, and we’re locked in hand-to-hand combat. The fourth man has retrieved Vanessa from Matt and is making way for the door.
“STOP HER!” I yell. Dex and Matt are stuck in combat with the fifth man, who is a hulking brute of a man. Dex registers what I say and ricochets another knife off the wall, but it misses the man and impales Vanessa’s side, bright red blood blooming across her white dress. I knee the man on top of me in the groin and slice his throat in the next movement with his own knife. I shove him off of me and chase after Vanessa and her henchman. A swift shot to the leg, and the man has fallen, Vanessa tumbling out of his arms. She shouts as she hits the ground, and I stalk over to her. I grip her dress and haul her to a standing position. “When Father hears about this, you’re dead.” She just smiles, teeth colored with blood, as a henchman who was hidden in the van fires off a shot, and the bullet hits Dex in the shoulder. I drop her immediately and race over to Dex, and in the next few seconds, the van in the alleyway drives off. Matt chases after it, and I press my hands into the wound in Dex’s shoulder. It’s spurting blood around my fingers, and I’m cursing and crying as I push harder.
