Okay y’all, I wrote this one quickly so I could get back into the writing groove. Let me know what yall think.
“M-Miguel-” Your voice was strained, barely coherent as you struggled to breathe through his bruising grip. Your hair was plastered to your forehead, sweat slicked skin glistening in the soft city light that managed to peak through the curtains of your shared apartment. He only grunted in response, and you swore you could hear his grin even in the silence that followed your plea.
“What?” He taunted, punctuating the question with an exceptionally deep thrust, one that had you squeezing your eyes shut. You could feel the way your body was straining to take all of him, despite the way his hips were grinding against your ass. “You’re fuckin’ creamin’ for me.”
Your stomach tightened at his words, brows furrowing. Fuck, it felt good, too good. Your arms were quivering from the pressure of having to hold yourself up during the merciless pace your boyfriend had set, back arched painfully, muscles quivering. He’d tucked his thick, muscled thighs inside of your own, forcing your legs apart as he ground into you.
Miguel’s hand was suddenly planted beside yours, and you swallowed as he leaned forward, chest pressing against your back as he moved to whisper in your ear. You damn near winced, over stimulated and far too fucking full as his lips brushed against the shell of your ear.
“F-fuck-” You managed to squeak out, lower lip trembling. A shiver ripped through your body, goose bumps rippling across your flushed skin.
“Too much carino?” He teased, and you moaned lowly when his tongue slid across your ear.
You were silent, save for the soft pants escaping you in time with his slowing thrusts as Miguel grinned against your cheek.
“How ‘bout I breed you, hm?”
Your eyes widened, flicking to the side where your boyfriend’s face was. “Miguel-” You started to warn, acutely aware of the conversation the two of you had had not thirty minutes prior. The only reason you were even in this mess is because you’d strewn yourself across your boyfriend’s lap and begged him to fuck you, whining and griping about how you were ovulating and needed him.
He grinned, all teeth and filthy promises before he shifted his weight, slowly unravelling his fingers from your throat. You gulped in air, head dropping to your chest as you struggled to regain any semblance of self control. Your thighs were trembling as he shifted back onto his knees, straightening, warm hands sliding down over the slender curve of your hips and ass before he gently pulled you back onto his length.
“Tell you what,” He started, claws gently trailing down over your tailbone. “If you can tell me why I shouldn’t, I won’t.”
You frowned, glossy, swollen lips parting in confusion as you turned your head to look at him. His eyes were hooded, thick hair pushed back, dark curls damp with sweat. You felt your pussy clench around his length at the sight. Good fucking god, he was so damn hot.
Miguel’s lip curled into a near snarl as your body tightened around him. “Deal?”
You raised a brow, the corner of your lip tugging into a smirk. “What’s the catch?” You rocked back onto him, revelling in the low hiss that escaped him. Knowing Miguel O’Hara was reduced to…this, had you preening. Your attraction to him only grew as your time together continued to stretch on.
He shrugged, feigning innocence before his hand trailed lower and he squeezed your ass.
You studied him for a few moments, apprehension giving way to curiosity. “…Deal.”
His dark brown eyes flicked to yours, and you sucked in a sharp breath at the way he watched you through his lashes. This may have been a terrible mistake-
Your stomach tightened at the implication.
Miguel leaned forward, large frame caging you in as he pressed his chest against your back. You watched with bated breath as he slowly placed his hands on either side of yours, effectively caging you in. He let his face press against the side of yours, affectionately nosing against your jaw.
“Gonna put my fuckin’ baby in you,” He breathed and you preened, pussy clenching, eyes squeezing shut. “Unless you tell me not to.”
You startled when Miguel suddenly touched his fingers against your lips before he pressed them past your teeth. You gasped, eyes widening as you struggled, and failed, to rear back and away from him as he continued to press forward until he was knuckle deep and forcing your tongue flat.
“Go ahead,” He said, voice so low you realized he was barely containing himself. “Tell me why I shouldn’t breed you.”
It was uncomfortable, damn near forcing you to gag as you realized what your boyfriend was doing. He laughed, a low wicked sound then when a small noise escaped you.
“Go ahead,” He urged, and fuck you could hear the grin that was splitting his face. “Beg.”
Heat bloomed in your chest, desire pooling low, wet and hot in your lower belly as Miguel taunted you. He had caged you in, forced your thighs apart and now his fingers were pressing down on your tongue, silencing you as he made you beg.
If soulmates were real you sure as fuck knew he was yours.
You tried to speak despite his ministrations, knowing full and well your efforts were futile, but choosing to indulge in them despite this because of the way it had your pussy aching. He only pushed his fingers deeper when you tried, knuckles grazing your teeth. Tears pricked the corners of your eyes and you forced your mouth wider, trying not to gag.
“Is that all you’ve got?” He teased, voice low as he gave a few tantalizingly slow rocks. You tried to speak again in vain, brows furrowing as you gave into the show he so clearly craved from you. The noises that you managed were pitiful, more whines than anything else. Miguel tsk’d in your ear, fangs grazing your jaw.
“Pathetic,” He finally murmured, before he suddenly rocked into you, setting a brutal pace. You squealed around his fingers, drool gathering around the corners of your lips before it lolled onto your chin. The slick, wet sounds escaping the space where your bodies connected was fucking sinful and it only made the thick, white ring around your boyfriend’s cock grow larger as he continued to force himself into your warm, wet heat. You’d already cum three fucking times tonight, the sticky evidence of it coating your thighs and making itself known as your pathetic cries continued to ring out. You were overstimulated, far too fucking full, and god, if he kept ramming into your cervix you were going to fucking cream again-
“S’gonna feel so good when I fill you,” Miguel panted, face pressed into your hair. “Fill that pretty fucking pussy and make you beg for more.”
You moaned, long and low at his words, eyes rolling back, your jaw slack. You panted around his long fingers, arousal only furthering when you breathed deeply and realized you could taste the remnants of your own cum on Miguel’s fingers.
Kurt (Wagner) would have a mommy kink with a fem reader
'Nuff said... Xoxo... Mwa.
YES HE WOULD!!!
Kurt Wagner absolutely calls you mommy. He’s Roman Catholic, so naturally, he’s a switch. I think his ultimate goal is to have mind blowing sex, no matter the situation. Dom? Sub? Switch? Kurt’s there. And you know damn well that man is using his tail to please you and himself.
While I think that Kurt is the kind of man who talks you through it, I also think he LOVES to be talked through it as well. Add a note of pity? Get a little condescending? Oh he’s falling apart for you.
“A-ah-please-” Kurt’s arching in your grip, head falling against your shoulder as his hips flex. Sweat dances along his hairline, a darkened blue dusting his sculpted cheeks.
“Please what?” Your voice is a low purr, lips brushing along the length of his ear before your tongue is dragging along the sensitive skin. He cries out again, instinctively turning into you so that his nose can press against your chin.
“P-please,” His voice breaks, fingers digging into the soft flesh of your thigh as he squirms in your embrace. “Make me cum, mommy.”
The grin that splits your cheeks is damn sinful, stomach tightening at the way he whimpers when your grip tightens around his cock. The tip is leaking, slick with both of your combined spit and his precum, fist wet as it slides and twists around his sensitive cock, and fuck it isn’t helping that the tip of his tail is running over the leaking slit of his cock.
Kurt’s found himself tucked between your legs, his back against your chest as you lean against the headboard of your bed. You’ve got your arms around him, his head tucked against the crook of your shoulder while you tease him, work him up to a mean orgasm. You’ve been edging him for the better part of 30 minutes now, peering over his shoulder to watch yourself work him over, let your gaze roam freely over his muscled body, linger on the way his thighs flex, how his abs tense under your careful ministrations, watch his chest heave as he struggles to catch his breath. The position you’re in allows you to tug on his cock with ease and it’s driving Kurt insane. He’s completely at your mercy like this, forced to watch your smaller hand pump his dick for him until he’s literally whining into your neck, the sensitive, pointed end of his tail sliding over his wet slit while he begs you for something, anything.
“Tell me how good it feels baby,” You coo and Kurt whimpers at the nickname, thick fingers pressing blue bruises into the sensitive skin of your thighs. He’s never said it out loud, but you know he loves seeing your skin blue because of him, like you share something even deeper, more primal when you’re left like that.
He cries out when you reward him with a particularly tight tug and you watch with rapt attention with the tip of his tail slips into the weeping slit of his cock for a brief moment.
“Fuck, it feels-” He swallows loudly, jaw working as he lets his canines graze your throat. “So good. Feel s’good, fuck mommy feels so good-”
He’s babbling now and you’re grinning, fist tightening into something mean as you pick up the pace, fingers slipping over the sensitive head of his cock, your wrist shifting as you twist your hand ever so slightly as you tug. Kurt’s hips are pushing up into your hand now while he pants in your embrace, whimpering softly. He’s close, you know him well enough by now to tell when he’s getting close to cumming. He’s a glutton for punishment but you’d already edged and denied him three times now and he really had been such a good boy for you all night. He’d even begged when he’d wanted to kiss you.
“You’re such a good boy for me, aren’t you?” You murmured, lips pressed against his ear. “Hm? Go ahead and answer me baby.”
“I am, I am mommy I-” He grunts, hips canting upwards as he begins to fuck his cock into your hand. “I’m a good boy for you, I am-”
“Look at how pretty you look for mommy,” Your voice is low, soothing before you’re lapping at the sweat gathered on his temple. Kurt arches into your when your tongue slides over his skin, the wet, hot heat of it pulling a low groan from him as he struggles not to spill over into your hand. Not until you tell him to, not until you give him permission.
He knows the rules.
He likes to keep his girl happy. Not that he’s worked up the courage to officially claim you yet. Though nobody would deny it. The walls weren’t too sound proof in the mansion, though given the rate at which everyone was fucking each other: they should have been.
“Go ahead Kurt,” Your voice is low as you press your lips against his ear. “Talk to mommy about how pretty you look.”
“Ah fuck,” Kurt pants, head falling back against your shoulder for a moment while he tried, desperately, to collect himself. The wet, slow schlick schlick schlick of your fist dragging over his sensitive cock was making it damn near impossible for him to not cum all over you. You watched his gaze snap down to your hand, his brows drawn together as his mouth fell open. He looked entirely spent, thighs quivering as he struggled oh so desperately to hold on just a little longer-
“Be a good boy and cum for me baby,” It was a demand, your other hand slipping around him to tangle itself in his hair and force his head forward so that he had nowhere to look but his overstimulated cock. “Cum all over yourself for mommy.”
It took two more strokes before Kurt was loudly crying out, your name a needy whine as his hips lost their rhythm and he was cumming in thick ropes across your hand and his stomach and chest and fuck did he look good.
“That’s it baby,” You murmured against his ear, pride swelling in your chest at the way he shook in your embrace, tail curling itself tightly around your calf as he struggled to breathe through his intense orgasm. Your hand began to slow, fingers pushing his damp blue locks back from his forehead as you felt him relax back into your chest. “Breathe for me baby, breathe.”
Kurt was still quivering against you, hips twitching and small whines tearing free as your palm smoothed over his sensitive dick, his breathing heavy as his hands continued to grip your thighs.
“Fraulein?” It was a breathy, low whisper, one that made your stomach tighten. You hummed in response, grinning when you kissed his neck and he nearly cried out. “I don’t think anyone has made me feel as good as you do.”
You laughed lightly, arms tightening around him for a moment as you pulled him closer to you, ignoring the warm, wet mess on his torso. “Yeah?”
He nodded, still trying to catch his breath as his head dropped back against your shoulder. “Uh huh.”
You stayed like that for a few more moments before Kurt was suddenly shifting in your embrace, leaning forward and moving away from you. Your heart picked up its pace in your chest, thighs tightening at the prospect of what would come next. Sex with Kurt was like clockwork and you knew what was happening; he needed to please you now. There would be no denying or escaping it, Kurt would hold you down if you tried to insist that tonight would be all about him. He’d done it before, denying you the right to make it about him and only him, acting like it was some abhorrent, sinful act that he not make you cum, like it was his god given right to please you. You’d learned the hard way that Kurt was a giver, and he’d held you down and eaten you out too many times now to leave any room for doubt.
He turned to face you, balancing himself on his knees as he reached forward to smooth his hands over your thighs and up your hips.
“Kurt,” It was a low warning, breathless. “You don’t have to do this, why don’t you just let me take care of you-”
He frowned like you’d offended him before he was pulling you away from the headboard and further up the bed so that your back was against the pillows, legs splayed as he carefully rested his hands against your thighs and pushed them apart.
“Why would you deny me such a luxury?” His voice was low, muffled as he began to kiss his way up your inner thigh, shifting so he could settle between them. The slick that had gathered between your legs was undeniable and you shivered when his tongue slid across your skin, canines pressing against you. He leaned forward to gently run his nose through your folds, bumping against your clit as you cried out, arching. Kurt only grinned up at you before he was hooking his muscled arms under your thighs and yanking you towards him, eyes boring into your own as he began to eat you out.
tags: fluff, obsession, toxic relationship dynamics, emotional dependency, dex is not good but he tries for you, written with fbi!dex in mind
———
Dex is very competent. This is something he takes pride in, and he sees it as one of the primary ways he brings value to your life and makes himself important to you. He does not need you to cook and clean and organize his life for him. He remembers all of your appointments and plans. He notices if you’ve forgotten to take your meds or if you’ve skipped a meal, and he will correct these problems with his usual swift efficiency.
He drives. Always. He’s a bit of a control freak when it comes to cars and gets anxious if you ever manage to relegate him to the passenger seat. You pull up to his apartment and he’s opening your car door, walking you around to the passenger side, and climbing behind the wheel himself. It probably goes without saying but he’s an excellent driver, it’s like he can telepathically predict the movement of every other car around him and he operates vehicles like they’re an extension of his own body. Smooth and frictionless.
If you’re going out without him (which he, uh. doesn’t love) he prefers to drop you off and pick you up. It minimizes the time you spend away from him and gives him an excuse to know exactly where you are and exactly when he’ll see you again. It also gives him an excuse to be texting and calling you asking when you want him to come pick you up. Are you sure you don’t want him to come early? It’s late and you sound kind of tired. No, he doesn’t mind at all, ha ha, just let him come get you and you can come back to his place and curl up under the blankets with him and read until bed. Please. :)
Bed time for him is no later than 11 pm, by the way. If he’s waking up at 7 he wants a solid 8 hours of sleep, and he wants you under the blankets with him. If you’re late getting into bed with him he’ll sort of hover around you until you get the hint.
When you’re sleeping together he will always be touching you in some way. Even if you’re not cuddled up against each other he wants a hand on your waist, his forehead tucked into your shoulder, feet touching under the sheets, just something. And you cannot escape it. If you roll over in your sleep he’s following you across the bed, and if you move away from him on purpose he will look at you with those sad wet puppy eyes. It genuinely hurts his feelings.
Just go ahead and sign up for a Life360 account with him. Or any other location sharing app. It will greatly ease his anxiety and he would just find another way to keep tabs on you anyway. Sometimes he keeps the app open next to him while he’s preoccupied with other things, just glancing at your location on the map every so often, even if he already knows where you are.
You’ll have to establish strong boundaries around your private life, because he feels like you should have absolutely no secrets from him. Like, what do you mean he can’t read your diary? Why did you leave the room to take that call with your friend? You’re texting her about a breakup she’s going through and he wants to be over your shoulder reading all of it. No sense of privacy.
Please note that this does not apply to him lmao, there are many things about himself and his past that he would prefer you don’t know about. He worries that you would think less of him or leave him if you found out about some of the more violent things he’s done. He desperately wants you to think highly of him, but at the same time he wants someone to see every ugly part of him and love him anyway. He doesn’t know how to manage these two feelings in the beginning, and will probably try to hide those uglier parts of himself until he inevitably makes a mistake and ends up confessing everything to you at once. If you stay with him anyway and assure him that it hasn’t scared you off, it will be a huge trust-building moment for him.
Clingy. So clingy. He’s always touching you in some way. A hand on your leg while you’re sitting on the couch. A foot pressed up against yours under the table while you’re at a restaurant. A hand on your back while you’re walking. You tease him about his “separation anxiety”, but you both know it’s true. You go to the bathroom to wash your face and he’s sitting on the tub, watching. He wants to be involved in anything you’re doing, chopping onions in the kitchen, going to the gym, reading quietly on the couch. Anything.
He would be the only significant relationship in your life if he could. He doesn’t like your friends, although he tries to be courteous with them for you. Seeing your attention directed at anyone else makes him anxious and insecure, and he can get moody if he thinks you’re doing too much of it (his threshold for “too much” is very low). Dex doesn’t have friends. You are the only person who really means anything to him, and he feels like he should be the same for you. The two of you against the world.
His fear of abandonment is easily triggered and his mood can flip on a dime. He can get really ugly when his mood takes a turn for the worst, accusing you of not loving him, saying that you’re going to leave him like everyone else has, crying, yelling. He can be manipulative and tends to resort to guilt-tripping. Bringing up how lonely he was before you, how much he needs you, how awful he feels when you do whatever behavior he’s spiraling about this time. He cries a lot. You will need to have strong boundaries and frank conversations about all of this to stand up for yourself.
He is a very self-centered person, by which I mean his own needs are front-and-center of his mind at all times. Dex has not had healthy relationships, romantic, platonic, or familial. For most of his life, if he wasn’t looking out for himself, no one was. Learning to care for another person genuinely and not just for what they can do for him will be a learning experience and a big hurdle in your relationship.
He seems very kind and generous at the beginning of your relationship, but he’s motivated primarily by fear that you’ll leave him or find him unworthy. He’s trying to do what he thinks a partner should and what he thinks you want him to do, but at its core it’s self-serving behavior. He doesn’t know how to care for another person earnestly. He wants to, and he’s trying very hard, but it will take time and patience.
He does not like having his photo taken. The first time you pull out your phone and ask him to take a picture with you, he’s visibly uncomfortable and unsure of what to do with himself, although he does try for your sake. The next week, when he’s at your place and sees the photo printed and stuck to your fridge with a kitschy magnet, he changes his mind. He’ll let you take as many pictures as you want, even if he still looks like he’s grimacing in half of them.
He starts keeping photos of you too, many of them taken without your knowledge. His favorites are the ones of you doing totally mundane things. You, curled up under his sheets. Folding socks on the floor. Brushing your teeth in your bathroom mirror. Sipping on a coffee with your friends while you didn’t know he was watching you through the window. He looks at them when you’re away.
Dex is awkward. His usual behavior is a mask he puts on to try to meet whatever standard is expected of him at the moment. The more time he spends with you, the more you start to see behind the mask. He can be stilted. He makes odd remarks and observations. He has a strange sense of humor. Embarrassment strikes him when he first realizes he’s slipped up, but when you respond with a smile and acceptance it feels like a weight off of his shoulders. He can let down the burden of performing around you.
He can also have a mean sense of humor. He often comes out with things that are shocking or graphic. Someone cuts him off in traffic and he says “this guy should be shot on sight.” The barista is a little short with you and he mimes throwing a quarter through her head when she’s not looking. You’re pretty sure he’s joking. He wants you to laugh and joke with him, for the two of you to be mischievous and playful together. If you can match his humor, he feels even closer to you, like the two of you share a language that no one else is in on.
If you give him a compliment he will remember it forever. You tell him he looks good after a haircut and he’s making sure you see him after every cut from now on. You say he looks good in that quarter-zip and he’s wearing it twice as often. You think black looks best on him? He wears black every day now. He won’t buy a cologne unless you approve of it first.
Dex has never been preoccupied with his looks. At least, not beyond looking professional and appropriate for whatever environment he’s in. He knows he’s good looking, but hearing it never really mattered to him until you were the one saying it. He loves hearing you call him handsome and pretty. He just wants you to look at him and enjoy what you see.
He needs a lot of validation and he’ll ask for it if he’s feeling especially insecure. “Are you mad at me?” “You still like having me around, right?” No matter how many times you reassure him, he can’t quite bring himself to believe it.
Dex loves being loved by you. He loves to hear you say it. Notices every way you show it, no matter how small. Keeps every note you write him, every sweet text, every gift you give him, no matter how insignificant. They’re all proof that you care about him. You’re the only person who ever has.
Once he gets a taste of affection from you he is both starved for it and terrified of it. You made him realize what was missing in his life, how empty and miserable he was without love and touch. The thought of losing it, of losing you, makes him feel like he can’t breathe. The slightest sense that you’re pulling away from him has him clinging even more desperately. He cannot lose you. He doesn’t know if he would survive it.
He gets attached fast. Very fast. One date together and his every thought is consumed by you. A week in and he’s sure you’re the one. He’ll rush into relationship milestones like saying “I love you,” clearing out a drawer in his dresser for you, asking you to move in with him. If you want to take things slower, you’ll have to be very gentle and reassuring when you bring it up, because if he feels like you’re rejecting any part of him he will start to spiral.
He loves it when you get possessive over him. Loves it even more when you show your love for him in strange ways. You text him one evening “I miss you. I want to crawl inside your rib cage and live there,” and he spends the rest of the week thinking about it. Screenshots it and looks at it when you’re apart.
He does not judge you for any of your odd habits or behaviors. In his mind it truly is the two of you against the world. If you fidget a lot, have a weird sense of humor, a strange hobby, an unusual laugh, he takes it all in without any hesitation. He wants to learn every secret and hidden part of you, especially the things you might be embarrassed of or try to keep from others. He wants to know you fully, in a way that no one else does.
He will go through your phone and your diary and anything else you keep private information in. Especially if he feels like you don’t want him seeing it. What are you hiding from him? ___Why would you hide it from him? He needs to know all of it. He does not respect your privacy in the least. If you catch him and bring it up he’ll just get better at hiding it.
Dex doesn’t really have hobbies, but he would love to incorporate you into his routine. You want to start working out? He’ll write up a plan for you and show you how it’s done. Teaching you proper form at the gym, or spotting for you if you already know. Going on runs together, pacing you, pushing you to do your best. He loves doing the most mundane things together like meal planning, grocery shopping, cooking side by side and eating the meals you prepared together. His routine is the foundation of his life and he would deeply appreciate your efforts to fit into it and accommodate it.
Dex is very intelligent. You start picking his brain about the things he’s knowledgeable of, advice about the skills he’s mastered, and it fills him with pride. He’s got experience with the military and the FBI, he stays up to date on current events, he’s obsessive about his fitness and nutrition, and he was a straight A student. He’s got a razor-sharp mind and plenty of expertise, and he loves feeling useful to you and like you see him as someone worthy of respect.
He likes it a little too much when you hurt him. Playfully biting him, squeezing him a little too hard, swatting at him when he’s bothering you, kissing him with too much force. He’s vibrating with the intensity of the feelings it digs up in him. He wants you to do it harder and more often but he’s not sure how to bring it up, so he’ll find ways to bait you into it, like wrapping an arm around your neck to tempt you into sinking your teeth into the muscle. He’ll offer to teach you self-defense so he has an excuse to tell you to hit him. He just wants to be sure you’re doing it right, you know? That you’ve got the technique and the force down. He hopes you don’t notice that he’s just a little too into it.
He doesn’t really get empathy. He tries for you, though. God, does he try. The experience of empathy is a very logical process for him, trying to map out your feelings and reactions in his mind. It can come across as mechanical and detached, but he really is trying to understand you and make you feel better. It will take a lot of trial and error, and you’ll have to be patient with him and offer lots of gentle feedback to help him improve.
He struggles with insomnia. Sometimes the medication helps, sometimes it doesn’t. He lies awake and focuses on your peaceful face, the rise and fall of your chest, the warmth of your body next to him. Sometimes, when you wake up, he’s already awake and watching you. He doesn’t try to hide it.
He tends to make excessive eye-contact with you. On top of his general lack of social skills, it’s just his fixation on you and his need to know your every thought and emotion. He’s constantly trying to gauge your feelings towards him and whether or not he’s done something wrong.
He will watch your favorites shows and movies and read your favorite books to better understand you. Especially if you’re the type to annotate your books. It’s like a window into your mind. (He never marks up his books it does trigger his issue with obsessive neatness to see you do it, but he’ll tolerate it for the sake of reading what you have to say)
He gets emotional when you shower him in affection. You press kisses all over his face, his forehead, eyes, nose, cheeks and chin. Soft and adoring. His eyes are stinging with tears before you’re even done. He didn’t know how starved he was for gentle touch until you gave it to him, and now he craves it. He won’t ask for it with words but he’ll stare at you with big, wet eyes until you get the hint. Nudging your shoulder with his nose. Brushing your fingers with his. He melts when you finally give him what he needs.
Being with you is exhilarating, comforting, destabilizing, and terrifying all at once for him. He’s never been the most important person in someone’s life before. He’s never had someone he could build a life with, and for most of his life he didn’t think it was even in the cards for him. He needs you like he needs air in his lungs and that’s a lot of power for someone to have over him. He struggles to believe that you mean it when you say you love him, that you’re in it for the long haul, that you trust him and want him even with all of his flaws. He desperately wants all of it to be true, but everyone he’s ever cared about has left him. He knows he’s not an easy person to be with. He just hopes you think he’s worth the effort.
TAGS/WARNINGS: just straight up smut man, MDNI, p in v, blowjob, riding, unprotected sex, you get the idea. I did not proofread this so??
Synopsis: Dating Dex has been going so well, he’s such a gentleman! Until he breaks out the wine.
Dex had you straddling his lap, naked thighs shivering, head resting on his shoulder, nose against his neck. You were whining, breathing slow, steady, controlled, hands pawing at his biceps.
His cock was much larger than you’d anticipated, and despite the time spent readying you, you’d been nervous. Ergo, everything hadn’t been so smooth sailing.
You rocked your hips forward a touch and hissed, moving to straighten atop him.
“That’s it baby,” His voice was low, hands smoothing up your thighs. “Nice and slow.”
“You’re too big,” You managed, gritting your teeth when you shifted and felt him knock against your cervix. You instinctively tightened around him, muscles flexing when the bruise like ache erupted deep within you. You were burning, stretching around the width of his thick cock, body struggling to accommodate. Despite how needy and unbelievably horny you’d been leading up to this, it was still Dex.
He made you nervous. You liked him.
You hummed for a moment, pressing your feet more firmly into the floor below you, thankful it was you who was controlling the pace tonight. Dex had coaxed you onto his lap earlier that evening, pulling you in for a bruising kiss and losing himself in the way you’d been grinding on his clothed dicks. Weeks had passed now, weeks of texting, dates, movies in your apartment and he’d been nothing but respectful, gentlemanly even. He’d asked to hold your hand, again when he’d kissed you, and taken it oh so slowly when he’d been let into your place to watch a movie.
And then more time had passed. More dates, more texts, more evenings together. He’d yet to make a move, say anything sexual or make any explicit jokes or moves. It had been so refreshing in comparison to dating other men, made you feel like he genuinely cared about you and not just fucking you. It was nice. But it had lead you to the realization that you were nervous because genuine feelings, something longterm, had bubbled up within you.
But tonight had been different. In a rather unfortunate turn of events, you realized you’d began ovulating. Sex, specifically what sex with Dex would be like, had occupied the entirety of your brain for days now. You caught yourself clenching your thighs at work, eyes losing focus as you imagined what he’d be like if he took control, an insatiable desire to be kissed and manhandled had consumed you. So when Dex had called you, asked if you were on for your usual friday night dinner and had shown up with not one, but two bottles of red wine? You knew you were a lost cause.
It didn’t take long for the night to turn into something heavier. You’d been sitting at the table for hours now, talking about everything and anything, catching one another’s lingering gazes, letting your hand rest in his large palm for two long, staring at him through your lashes when he began to trace the shape of your finger tips. It wasn’t surprising when he met your gaze, smirked, and then dragged you out of your chair and into his lap.
And fuck, was it amazing.
Dex was good. His hand was in your hair, the other on your hip, dragging you into him while he licked into your mouth. It was all tongue and teeth, wet gasps and broken expressions of need, and Dex swallowed all of it. His hands were huge and they were everywhere-pulling, squeezing, demanding. You were a mess, emboldened by alcohol, and desperate for more. It felt…animalistic, like the two of you had finally said fuck it and abandoned all chivalry.
So no, it wasn’t surprised that Dex had stripped you of your, and his, clothes and pulled you back onto his lap on your kitchen chair. You couldn’t say that you’d ever had sex with a man for the first time while riding him on a chair, but honestly maybe that made this better.
“Fuck,” You cursed under your breath, eyes falling shut as you continued to stretch around Dex’s cock. He was being so gentle with you, fingers smoothing over your hips, across your lower back, over your chest. “You’re too big.”
“I know Princess,” Dex’s voice was low, hoarse, barely above a whisper. Your eyes shot open at the tone, cunt flexing around him. He was gently wrapping his hand around your throat while he praised you. “Gonna take a bit of work.”
Oh, fuck.
You felt your pupils dilate, eyelids dropping into a hazy, lustful gaze because of the way he was speaking to you. Fuck, that sounded good.
A soft whine escapes you, hips rocking forward about an inch or so while Dex’s meaty palm settles on your hip. You move your hands to settle them on Dex’s chest, pliant as he manhandles you. He pulls you closer to him, his mouth on your neck now, canines brushing along the sensitive skin, short bursts of air escaping him as he tries not to indulge in the wet heat of your pussy. He needs you to stretch, let you work yourself open for him, take the lead.
“Just like that,” It’s a murmur along your throat, a hiss following shortly after when you shift in his lap. “Take your time baby.”
Fuck, it felt good-to be stretched like that, feel almost too full of him while his hands wandered along your body and pulled you closer and closer against his chest. But you needed to move, it wasn’t going to get any easier if you didn’t move.
With your feet planted firmly on the floor, and your hands on Dex’s muscled shoulders, you straightened your torso and began to push yourself upwards. His dick dragged along the inside of your walls, your hole burning at the stretch and movement. It was slow, painfully so, before you were pausing at the top, only the head of his cock caught in your wet heat now. Dex had tossed his head back for a moment before he was leaning forward to look at you again, slack jawed and heavy lidded. His cheeks were flushed, brow furrowed and sweat had begun to gather at his hairline. He looked absolutely fucked out already. and you’d barely even started.
You smiled, a barely there grin, before your face was twisting back into a pleasured sort of pain as sank back down onto his length. It was slow, torturously slow, and Dex was clearly trying to control his breathing while you moved. His hands had shifted so that they were grabbing the fat of your ass, gently spreading you open as you settled back onto his cock. You gave a tentative rock forward, relishing in the pride that bloomed in your chest when Dex’s eyes fluttered closed and he groaned, long and low.
“I think you’ll be the death of me,” He managed to speak, but his voice was gravelly.
You chuckled, threading your hands around his neck. “Yeah?”
He nodded, bleary eyes opening so that he could meet your gaze. “Definitely.”
“Is that a bad thing?” Your voice was soft, teasing as you moved forward to gently kiss along his jaw. Dex sighed, leaning into you, his grip on your ass tightening to an almost painful degree.
“No,” It was a whisper. “Can’t say it is…”
He tilted his head as he spoke, exposing the length of his neck, urging you to keep kissing him. You obliged, lips leaving a wet trail of heat along his flushed, exposed skin, drinking in the way his cock was flexing inside of you, the breathy sounds escaping his kiss swollen lips.
You paused at the base of his throat for a only a moment before you were licking a long, wet stripe up the skin, tongue flat and demanding as you settled against the corner of his jaw, suckling the skin there.
“Oh, fuck-” Dex shivered in your grip, hips canting up into yours as your tongue dragged across him. The shallow thrust had you keening though, whining against his wet skin. Fuck, you needed him, now.
You lifted your hips then, mouth still pressed against the junction between his jaw and his throat, and slowly began to ride your boyfriend. It was torturous at first, as you adjusted to the burn of the stretch, but it took little to no time for your slick, wet cum to begin coating his cock. You could hear the way your pussy was swallowing him, the way your wet heat greedily took him in.
Dex’s breathing was heavy, his head having fallen back, as he let you control the pace at which you fucked. He was being so sweet, so well behaved as his hands slid up and over your ribs so that he could hold your tits in his hands.
“That feel good baby?” You purred, lips parted in a pretty pout as you stared down at your man. Dex nodded, eyes fluttering shut as he groaned.
“Y-yeah,” He finally managed, fingertips dragging across your nipples. It made your cunt clench even tighter around him. “You feel so good.”
Heat pooled in your lower belly as you continued to ride him, soft and slow, when realization began to dawn on you.
Dex was completely lost in you, eyes rolling back when he’d try to open them, whines and grunts escaping his pretty lips, face flushed as you forced him to endure the pace you’d set. You cocked your head to the side, grinning as the thoughts seemed to click into place.
Was Dex…subby?
He must have been, you realized, just based on the way he was trying so desperately not to lose control in front of you right now. All the times he’d laid across your lap, your hands tangled in his hair while he’d stare up at you with those soft eyes, or how he’d cave the moment you set a firm demand. God, it made so much sense too? He had to make huge decisions at work all the time, people often depended on him for their own safety, so many government secrets too?
You moved slowly, fingers pushing through his chest hair as your reach climbed higher and higher. Your fingers continued to trail slowly up and up until they wrapped around his throat. It was a soft, tentative squeeze, but one that had Dex’s hazel eyes snapping open.
“What-what’re you-” It was a breathy startle, one that was immediately cut off with a choked moan when your grip tightened, thumb resting just above his Adam’s apple. Dex’s cock flexed within you, his body jumping like a live wire at the realization that you were choking him. The devilish gaze of yours that met his had his hips shifting beneath you.
“That’s it baby boy,” You purred, continuing to ride his lengthy cock. “That feel good?”
Dex tried to swallow the spit that had gathered in his mouth, hands tightening painfully on your hips, his cock suddenly unbearably hard and fuck, he thought he might cum-
Your grip tightened a fraction. “Answer me.”
Dex’s lips parted, his brows furrowing as he slipped into a sort of fucked out state. “Yes, that feels good,” He managed, voice low and breathy. Fuck, your pussy was so wet and tight around him and if he looked down, he might have seen the creamy ring forming around the base of his cock because of the way the two of you had worked one another up but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from yours. You looked absolutely stunning atop him like this; cheeks flushed, eyes set with determination, a wicked grin forming on your features as you continued to control him.
“Tell me what you want,” You demanded and the tone was so low and sultry that Dex thought he could have cum right then and there, fill your pussy to the fucking brim and let you continue to ride his over stimulated cock until you were cumming all over it. But he couldn’t, no, he had to watch you come undone first.
Dex was silent for a moment, the only sound in the room being the slick of your pussy as you continued to ride him, bouncing slow, and controlled atop his dick. The fact that you were basically standing as you rode him let you take on so much more control, and take him even deeper into you when you did grind against his lap.
His silence was forgotten when your hand snaked into his hair and you tugged. It was sharp, and fuck did it feel good, when your fingers tangled into the greying blond roots and tightened. Dex hissed, eyes squeezing shut when his head was forced back, your other hand tightening around his throat.
“Answer me.”
Fuck, he was gonna cum.
“It-it feels g-good,” He managed, cursing immediately after. He pushed his feet more firmly into the kitchen floor beneath him, hands sliding down to grip the meat of your thighs, his own trembling as he fought off his release. It wouldn’t be long now if you kept this shit up.
“Go on,” You urged, and he felt you lean over top of him, your tongue against his chin. “Keep going.”
Fuck sakes. He was hopeful that you’d have been like this, but hadn’t anticipated it based on how your dating life had been going. It was slow to start, to take root, as he’d began getting to know you. He’d wanted to take his time, earn your trust, have you let him in. But he would have been lying if he’d said he hadn’t cum across the top of his own fist to the thought of you manhandling him like this.
“It feels good,” He slurred, a breathy whine escaping him when you sank onto his cock and stayed there, thighs flexing around his waist. He nearly choked, but you kept his head forced back, hands tightening in his hair.
“Tell me what feels best,” Your voice was a warm whisper against his jaw and Dex grunted, cock flexing inside of you. Fuck.
“I want you to feel good,” He finally confessed, eyes bleary as he blinked them open. He was met with the blurred ceiling above him, your tongue sliding over your thumb on his throat. He jerked in your grip.
“Want me to make myself feel good?” You whispered and Dex tried to nod. “Wanna feel me cum on you, Benjamin?”
His eyes shot open at his name, hands moving to grip your hips. He grunted again when your hands kept him in place, gaze still forced to the ceiling. He stayed pliant, controlled, when he let his hand drift across the expanse of your belly, thumb smoothing circles over the skin until he had tucked it tightly against your clit. He grinned when he heard you cry out lightly, hips pushing forward.
“Uh huh,” it was a breathy sigh, canines exposed as he smiled up at the ceiling. “Ride me baby, make yourself cum.”
That was all it took. You whined, hips rocking forward as you began to ride Dex’s cock again. He cursed under his breath, thumb tucked nice and mean against your clit as you set a gruelling pace. Fuck sakes, he wasn’t going to last like this. And judging by the way you were breathing: you wouldn’t either.
He felt you try to maintain your grip on his hair and throat but your hands were weakening the more you focused on taking his dick properly, your cum soaked pussy swallowing his entire length. Dex tipped his head forward, hazy eyes meeting your own.
“Fuck, you feel good,” you whined and Dex almost cursed. You were close, he could tell. The sounds escaping you were whiny and high pitched, your brows furrowed as you willed your body to maintain the steady rhythm you’d set atop his lap. Dex’s free hand made its way around your body, wrapping tightly around the back of your neck as he forced you to lean closer to him, your grip on his neck subsequently tightening in return.
“That’s it baby,” he purred, his lips just barely ghosting yours. “Be a good girl and use me.”
He watched the way your face contorted, pupils swallowing your irises while you focused on him, and fuck-
“Dex, baby,” You warned and he felt his own orgasm beginning to climb with the use of the pet name. God damnit, he loved being yours.
You leaned forward to meet Dex in a bruising kiss, whining into his mouth when he held you so tightly against him it almost hurt, his tongue pushing past your teeth in a way that was demanding and entirely too greedy. He felt your pace falter and suddenly you were grinding on his lap, crying into his mouth while you came. Dex swallowed your cries, moaning into your mouth when he felt how unbelievably tight and wet you suddenly were.
“Hnn, baby-” It was a strangled moan into his mouth and suddenly-
Dex cursed into your mouth, grabbing handfuls of your ass as he pulled you into a frenzied rhythm on his lap, using your cunt to push himself over the edge, his tongue still greedily pressing into your mouth. You were slack against him now, over stimulated and begging while he manhandled you on his cock. It wasn’t long, maybe a handful of strokes, before Dex was pulling back to warn you. He looked crazed, pupils blown wide, hair moussed and pushed back from his forehead.
“Baby, I’m gonna cum-” He nearly cried out when you suddenly pushed up from his lap, the absence of your wet heat damn near heartbreaking and understandable as he fought the urge not to cum against his stomach.
He had only a moment, a split second of confusion, to stare down at you when you dropped to your knees and-
Dex let loose a choked gasp when you wrapped your mouth around the head of his cock, tongue sliding around the swollen tip, your hand circling around the base and-
His hand was in your hair, name leaving him in a broken cry as he suddenly came down the back of your throat. He fought so hard to continue to stare down at you, mesmerized, awestruck even, at the way you were swallowing around him but it felt too fucking good-
He let his head fall back, struggling for air while you continued to pull his cock deeper into your throat. It felt so good, too good, and he didn’t mean to but fuck-
He fisted his hand in your hair, hard enough that tears sprung to your eyes. He was shaking, whimpering while you continued to work your mouth around him, the head of his cock nestled in the back of your throat while you swallowed around him. You almost grinned, pride swelling in your chest at the way he was coming undone for you.
He was whimpering, hips bucking from the over stimulation by the time you pulled off of him. You stayed on your knees for a few more seconds, grinning up at him while you gently squeezed his softening cock. Dex hissed, hand shifting to gently cup your jaw.
“S’too much,” He managed, brows furrowed. You obliged, moving to straddle his lap again. He was sticky with sweat, thighs quivering still, as you pushed your face into his neck. Fuck, he smelled good. Like sex, and sweat and Benjamin-
Dex turned his face into your neck, inhaling deeply, before he was grinding his teeth. “You smell good.”
Your cheeks split into a lazy grin. “That so?”
He only nodded, kneading the flesh of your hips as he pushed his face further into your neck. “Mhm.”
You smiled into his hair. “Do you know what that means? That you like the smell of my sweat?”
Dex only hummed in response, pulling his face away to gaze up at you. He looked completely fucked out, almost dopey, his eyes half lidded. “What’s it mean, honey?”
You beamed at him, a cheeky grin that Dex knew all too well as you let your finger trail down his nose. “Means our genetics work well for reproduction.”
Dex’s brows shot up, eyes crinkling at the corners as he smiled up at you. The fine lines on his face were so damn sexy. “I like the sound o’ that.”
Thank you @tea-who-you-yeah-bunny and everyone who got me to 3000 reblogs!
fuck yeah guys. started this blog in high school, forgot about it, revived it, forgot about it again, and now we’re here. thank you to everyone who’s been here 🧡
I think Dex would eat you out well past over stimulation, and not even just because he’s being controlling etc etc. No, I think it’d be because he’s so lost in it. I think he’d be straight up whimpering into your pussy, hips flexing while he grinds into the bed, all pathetic and needy and just about ready to cum in his pants because he’s so drunk on the taste of you.
I think you could be crying out above him, over stimulated and near tears, hands in his hair, calling out his name and trying to squirm away and he’d had his arms hooked under your legs, meaty palms pressing down on your hips, brows furrowed while he’s groaning with each lick of your clit. Fuck he loves this, and he loves you, and he needs more.
And when he eventually comes up for air, pupils dilated, lids half closed, and you realize he has cum in pants, chin painted in your release, you’ll only soften.
“Oh baby,” You’d coo, and he’d just let his face fall against your thigh, looking dazed and utterly fucked out. You’d urge him up your torso, kiss him all sweet and messy, the taste of your cum still bitter on his tongue while you urge his sensitive cock into your soaking pussy and oh-
Dex is whining into your neck, grip tight on you while he ruts into you.
I think that Dex would actually love being held down and over stimulated? He wouldn’t have the option to over think, spiral or feel the obsessive need to control because he can’t. God forbid he’s gagged too? Like?
He’d be a whiny, sweaty, shaky mess and he’d love every second of it, especially if he was exhausted and out of it afterwards?
Maybe he comes home from a particularly hard day, sinks to your feet and just drops his forehead against your thigh, urging you to brush your fingers through his hair.
“Stressful day?” You’d murmur, voice all velvet and purr as he nods, over stimulated and spent.
“Want me to fix that?” You’d whisper, regarding him before he’s nodding again.
He’d be so whiny, wrists tied together with a silk band, held against his chest while he’s moaning around the gag in his mouth. Sweat’s gathered at his hair line, abs tensing beneath your featherlight touch, hips canting upwards as he tries oh so desperately to push his cock further into your hand.
“Stay still for me baby,” You’d murmur, fingers smoothing over the head of his swollen, leaking cock, watching with rapt attention when his eyes roll back and he lets out a muffled whimper. “Can you do that for me, handsome?”
And Dex would nod, breathing heavy as he lost himself in what he knew what be an excruciating night for him: your fist tight around his cock, rhythm torturous in its pace, his cock slick with entirely too much lube because you know it drives him insane when you jerk him off like that, talk down to him and tell him how good he is for you.
And edging him? Fuck, he’d absolutely lose it. And he’d be so damn whiny for you.
TAGS/WARNINGS: just straight up smut man, MDNI, p in v, blowjob, riding, unprotected sex, you get the idea. I did not proofread this so??
Synopsis: Dating Dex has been going so well, he’s such a gentleman! Until he breaks out the wine.
Dex had you straddling his lap, naked thighs shivering, head resting on his shoulder, nose against his neck. You were whining, breathing slow, steady, controlled, hands pawing at his biceps.
His cock was much larger than you’d anticipated, and despite the time spent readying you, you’d been nervous. Ergo, everything hadn’t been so smooth sailing.
You rocked your hips forward a touch and hissed, moving to straighten atop him.
“That’s it baby,” His voice was low, hands smoothing up your thighs. “Nice and slow.”
“You’re too big,” You managed, gritting your teeth when you shifted and felt him knock against your cervix. You instinctively tightened around him, muscles flexing when the bruise like ache erupted deep within you. You were burning, stretching around the width of his thick cock, body struggling to accommodate. Despite how needy and unbelievably horny you’d been leading up to this, it was still Dex.
He made you nervous. You liked him.
You hummed for a moment, pressing your feet more firmly into the floor below you, thankful it was you who was controlling the pace tonight. Dex had coaxed you onto his lap earlier that evening, pulling you in for a bruising kiss and losing himself in the way you’d been grinding on his clothed dicks. Weeks had passed now, weeks of texting, dates, movies in your apartment and he’d been nothing but respectful, gentlemanly even. He’d asked to hold your hand, again when he’d kissed you, and taken it oh so slowly when he’d been let into your place to watch a movie.
And then more time had passed. More dates, more texts, more evenings together. He’d yet to make a move, say anything sexual or make any explicit jokes or moves. It had been so refreshing in comparison to dating other men, made you feel like he genuinely cared about you and not just fucking you. It was nice. But it had lead you to the realization that you were nervous because genuine feelings, something longterm, had bubbled up within you.
But tonight had been different. In a rather unfortunate turn of events, you realized you’d began ovulating. Sex, specifically what sex with Dex would be like, had occupied the entirety of your brain for days now. You caught yourself clenching your thighs at work, eyes losing focus as you imagined what he’d be like if he took control, an insatiable desire to be kissed and manhandled had consumed you. So when Dex had called you, asked if you were on for your usual friday night dinner and had shown up with not one, but two bottles of red wine? You knew you were a lost cause.
It didn’t take long for the night to turn into something heavier. You’d been sitting at the table for hours now, talking about everything and anything, catching one another’s lingering gazes, letting your hand rest in his large palm for two long, staring at him through your lashes when he began to trace the shape of your finger tips. It wasn’t surprising when he met your gaze, smirked, and then dragged you out of your chair and into his lap.
And fuck, was it amazing.
Dex was good. His hand was in your hair, the other on your hip, dragging you into him while he licked into your mouth. It was all tongue and teeth, wet gasps and broken expressions of need, and Dex swallowed all of it. His hands were huge and they were everywhere-pulling, squeezing, demanding. You were a mess, emboldened by alcohol, and desperate for more. It felt…animalistic, like the two of you had finally said fuck it and abandoned all chivalry.
So no, it wasn’t surprised that Dex had stripped you of your, and his, clothes and pulled you back onto his lap on your kitchen chair. You couldn’t say that you’d ever had sex with a man for the first time while riding him on a chair, but honestly maybe that made this better.
“Fuck,” You cursed under your breath, eyes falling shut as you continued to stretch around Dex’s cock. He was being so gentle with you, fingers smoothing over your hips, across your lower back, over your chest. “You’re too big.”
“I know Princess,” Dex’s voice was low, hoarse, barely above a whisper. Your eyes shot open at the tone, cunt flexing around him. He was gently wrapping his hand around your throat while he praised you. “Gonna take a bit of work.”
Oh, fuck.
You felt your pupils dilate, eyelids dropping into a hazy, lustful gaze because of the way he was speaking to you. Fuck, that sounded good.
A soft whine escapes you, hips rocking forward about an inch or so while Dex’s meaty palm settles on your hip. You move your hands to settle them on Dex’s chest, pliant as he manhandles you. He pulls you closer to him, his mouth on your neck now, canines brushing along the sensitive skin, short bursts of air escaping him as he tries not to indulge in the wet heat of your pussy. He needs you to stretch, let you work yourself open for him, take the lead.
“Just like that,” It’s a murmur along your throat, a hiss following shortly after when you shift in his lap. “Take your time baby.”
Fuck, it felt good-to be stretched like that, feel almost too full of him while his hands wandered along your body and pulled you closer and closer against his chest. But you needed to move, it wasn’t going to get any easier if you didn’t move.
With your feet planted firmly on the floor, and your hands on Dex’s muscled shoulders, you straightened your torso and began to push yourself upwards. His dick dragged along the inside of your walls, your hole burning at the stretch and movement. It was slow, painfully so, before you were pausing at the top, only the head of his cock caught in your wet heat now. Dex had tossed his head back for a moment before he was leaning forward to look at you again, slack jawed and heavy lidded. His cheeks were flushed, brow furrowed and sweat had begun to gather at his hairline. He looked absolutely fucked out already. and you’d barely even started.
You smiled, a barely there grin, before your face was twisting back into a pleasured sort of pain as sank back down onto his length. It was slow, torturously slow, and Dex was clearly trying to control his breathing while you moved. His hands had shifted so that they were grabbing the fat of your ass, gently spreading you open as you settled back onto his cock. You gave a tentative rock forward, relishing in the pride that bloomed in your chest when Dex’s eyes fluttered closed and he groaned, long and low.
“I think you’ll be the death of me,” He managed to speak, but his voice was gravelly.
You chuckled, threading your hands around his neck. “Yeah?”
He nodded, bleary eyes opening so that he could meet your gaze. “Definitely.”
“Is that a bad thing?” Your voice was soft, teasing as you moved forward to gently kiss along his jaw. Dex sighed, leaning into you, his grip on your ass tightening to an almost painful degree.
“No,” It was a whisper. “Can’t say it is…”
He tilted his head as he spoke, exposing the length of his neck, urging you to keep kissing him. You obliged, lips leaving a wet trail of heat along his flushed, exposed skin, drinking in the way his cock was flexing inside of you, the breathy sounds escaping his kiss swollen lips.
You paused at the base of his throat for a only a moment before you were licking a long, wet stripe up the skin, tongue flat and demanding as you settled against the corner of his jaw, suckling the skin there.
“Oh, fuck-” Dex shivered in your grip, hips canting up into yours as your tongue dragged across him. The shallow thrust had you keening though, whining against his wet skin. Fuck, you needed him, now.
You lifted your hips then, mouth still pressed against the junction between his jaw and his throat, and slowly began to ride your boyfriend. It was torturous at first, as you adjusted to the burn of the stretch, but it took little to no time for your slick, wet cum to begin coating his cock. You could hear the way your pussy was swallowing him, the way your wet heat greedily took him in.
Dex’s breathing was heavy, his head having fallen back, as he let you control the pace at which you fucked. He was being so sweet, so well behaved as his hands slid up and over your ribs so that he could hold your tits in his hands.
“That feel good baby?” You purred, lips parted in a pretty pout as you stared down at your man. Dex nodded, eyes fluttering shut as he groaned.
“Y-yeah,” He finally managed, fingertips dragging across your nipples. It made your cunt clench even tighter around him. “You feel so good.”
Heat pooled in your lower belly as you continued to ride him, soft and slow, when realization began to dawn on you.
Dex was completely lost in you, eyes rolling back when he’d try to open them, whines and grunts escaping his pretty lips, face flushed as you forced him to endure the pace you’d set. You cocked your head to the side, grinning as the thoughts seemed to click into place.
Was Dex…subby?
He must have been, you realized, just based on the way he was trying so desperately not to lose control in front of you right now. All the times he’d laid across your lap, your hands tangled in his hair while he’d stare up at you with those soft eyes, or how he’d cave the moment you set a firm demand. God, it made so much sense too? He had to make huge decisions at work all the time, people often depended on him for their own safety, so many government secrets too?
You moved slowly, fingers pushing through his chest hair as your reach climbed higher and higher. Your fingers continued to trail slowly up and up until they wrapped around his throat. It was a soft, tentative squeeze, but one that had Dex’s hazel eyes snapping open.
“What-what’re you-” It was a breathy startle, one that was immediately cut off with a choked moan when your grip tightened, thumb resting just above his Adam’s apple. Dex’s cock flexed within you, his body jumping like a live wire at the realization that you were choking him. The devilish gaze of yours that met his had his hips shifting beneath you.
“That’s it baby boy,” You purred, continuing to ride his lengthy cock. “That feel good?”
Dex tried to swallow the spit that had gathered in his mouth, hands tightening painfully on your hips, his cock suddenly unbearably hard and fuck, he thought he might cum-
Your grip tightened a fraction. “Answer me.”
Dex’s lips parted, his brows furrowing as he slipped into a sort of fucked out state. “Yes, that feels good,” He managed, voice low and breathy. Fuck, your pussy was so wet and tight around him and if he looked down, he might have seen the creamy ring forming around the base of his cock because of the way the two of you had worked one another up but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from yours. You looked absolutely stunning atop him like this; cheeks flushed, eyes set with determination, a wicked grin forming on your features as you continued to control him.
“Tell me what you want,” You demanded and the tone was so low and sultry that Dex thought he could have cum right then and there, fill your pussy to the fucking brim and let you continue to ride his over stimulated cock until you were cumming all over it. But he couldn’t, no, he had to watch you come undone first.
Dex was silent for a moment, the only sound in the room being the slick of your pussy as you continued to ride him, bouncing slow, and controlled atop his dick. The fact that you were basically standing as you rode him let you take on so much more control, and take him even deeper into you when you did grind against his lap.
His silence was forgotten when your hand snaked into his hair and you tugged. It was sharp, and fuck did it feel good, when your fingers tangled into the greying blond roots and tightened. Dex hissed, eyes squeezing shut when his head was forced back, your other hand tightening around his throat.
“Answer me.”
Fuck, he was gonna cum.
“It-it feels g-good,” He managed, cursing immediately after. He pushed his feet more firmly into the kitchen floor beneath him, hands sliding down to grip the meat of your thighs, his own trembling as he fought off his release. It wouldn’t be long now if you kept this shit up.
“Go on,” You urged, and he felt you lean over top of him, your tongue against his chin. “Keep going.”
Fuck sakes. He was hopeful that you’d have been like this, but hadn’t anticipated it based on how your dating life had been going. It was slow to start, to take root, as he’d began getting to know you. He’d wanted to take his time, earn your trust, have you let him in. But he would have been lying if he’d said he hadn’t cum across the top of his own fist to the thought of you manhandling him like this.
“It feels good,” He slurred, a breathy whine escaping him when you sank onto his cock and stayed there, thighs flexing around his waist. He nearly choked, but you kept his head forced back, hands tightening in his hair.
“Tell me what feels best,” Your voice was a warm whisper against his jaw and Dex grunted, cock flexing inside of you. Fuck.
“I want you to feel good,” He finally confessed, eyes bleary as he blinked them open. He was met with the blurred ceiling above him, your tongue sliding over your thumb on his throat. He jerked in your grip.
“Want me to make myself feel good?” You whispered and Dex tried to nod. “Wanna feel me cum on you, Benjamin?”
His eyes shot open at his name, hands moving to grip your hips. He grunted again when your hands kept him in place, gaze still forced to the ceiling. He stayed pliant, controlled, when he let his hand drift across the expanse of your belly, thumb smoothing circles over the skin until he had tucked it tightly against your clit. He grinned when he heard you cry out lightly, hips pushing forward.
“Uh huh,” it was a breathy sigh, canines exposed as he smiled up at the ceiling. “Ride me baby, make yourself cum.”
That was all it took. You whined, hips rocking forward as you began to ride Dex’s cock again. He cursed under his breath, thumb tucked nice and mean against your clit as you set a gruelling pace. Fuck sakes, he wasn’t going to last like this. And judging by the way you were breathing: you wouldn’t either.
He felt you try to maintain your grip on his hair and throat but your hands were weakening the more you focused on taking his dick properly, your cum soaked pussy swallowing his entire length. Dex tipped his head forward, hazy eyes meeting your own.
“Fuck, you feel good,” you whined and Dex almost cursed. You were close, he could tell. The sounds escaping you were whiny and high pitched, your brows furrowed as you willed your body to maintain the steady rhythm you’d set atop his lap. Dex’s free hand made its way around your body, wrapping tightly around the back of your neck as he forced you to lean closer to him, your grip on his neck subsequently tightening in return.
“That’s it baby,” he purred, his lips just barely ghosting yours. “Be a good girl and use me.”
He watched the way your face contorted, pupils swallowing your irises while you focused on him, and fuck-
“Dex, baby,” You warned and he felt his own orgasm beginning to climb with the use of the pet name. God damnit, he loved being yours.
You leaned forward to meet Dex in a bruising kiss, whining into his mouth when he held you so tightly against him it almost hurt, his tongue pushing past your teeth in a way that was demanding and entirely too greedy. He felt your pace falter and suddenly you were grinding on his lap, crying into his mouth while you came. Dex swallowed your cries, moaning into your mouth when he felt how unbelievably tight and wet you suddenly were.
“Hnn, baby-” It was a strangled moan into his mouth and suddenly-
Dex cursed into your mouth, grabbing handfuls of your ass as he pulled you into a frenzied rhythm on his lap, using your cunt to push himself over the edge, his tongue still greedily pressing into your mouth. You were slack against him now, over stimulated and begging while he manhandled you on his cock. It wasn’t long, maybe a handful of strokes, before Dex was pulling back to warn you. He looked crazed, pupils blown wide, hair moussed and pushed back from his forehead.
“Baby, I’m gonna cum-” He nearly cried out when you suddenly pushed up from his lap, the absence of your wet heat damn near heartbreaking and understandable as he fought the urge not to cum against his stomach.
He had only a moment, a split second of confusion, to stare down at you when you dropped to your knees and-
Dex let loose a choked gasp when you wrapped your mouth around the head of his cock, tongue sliding around the swollen tip, your hand circling around the base and-
His hand was in your hair, name leaving him in a broken cry as he suddenly came down the back of your throat. He fought so hard to continue to stare down at you, mesmerized, awestruck even, at the way you were swallowing around him but it felt too fucking good-
He let his head fall back, struggling for air while you continued to pull his cock deeper into your throat. It felt so good, too good, and he didn’t mean to but fuck-
He fisted his hand in your hair, hard enough that tears sprung to your eyes. He was shaking, whimpering while you continued to work your mouth around him, the head of his cock nestled in the back of your throat while you swallowed around him. You almost grinned, pride swelling in your chest at the way he was coming undone for you.
He was whimpering, hips bucking from the over stimulation by the time you pulled off of him. You stayed on your knees for a few more seconds, grinning up at him while you gently squeezed his softening cock. Dex hissed, hand shifting to gently cup your jaw.
“S’too much,” He managed, brows furrowed. You obliged, moving to straddle his lap again. He was sticky with sweat, thighs quivering still, as you pushed your face into his neck. Fuck, he smelled good. Like sex, and sweat and Benjamin-
Dex turned his face into your neck, inhaling deeply, before he was grinding his teeth. “You smell good.”
Your cheeks split into a lazy grin. “That so?”
He only nodded, kneading the flesh of your hips as he pushed his face further into your neck. “Mhm.”
You smiled into his hair. “Do you know what that means? That you like the smell of my sweat?”
Dex only hummed in response, pulling his face away to gaze up at you. He looked completely fucked out, almost dopey, his eyes half lidded. “What’s it mean, honey?”
You beamed at him, a cheeky grin that Dex knew all too well as you let your finger trail down his nose. “Means our genetics work well for reproduction.”
Dex’s brows shot up, eyes crinkling at the corners as he smiled up at you. The fine lines on his face were so damn sexy. “I like the sound o’ that.”
Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures (ONE SHOT)
Benjamin Poindexter x Reader
TAGS/WARNINGS: none
Synopsis: You find out that Dex is Bullseye and ask for some space while you mull things over. Dex cannot handle space, he needs you. And so? He begs.
“No, nonono, please-” Dex is moving towards you, eyes desperately searching yours, hands reaching for you. “Please, I can fix this, just let me fix this-”
“Dex,” Your eyes fall shut and you’re pinching the bridge of your nose, exhaustion evident. This is unbelievably overwhelming and fuck’s sake, you just need to be alone so you can think clearly.
“Baby, please,” He’s pleading with you, moving from the chair he’s been sitting in for the last thirty minutes so he can try to stand in front of you but you hold your hand out to stop him.
“Dex, stop, please, I can’t do this right now,” There’s an edge to your voice, frustration painfully evident as you move to turn away your boyfriend. Was he that still? You honestly weren’t sure anymore.
“Y/N, please,” he sounds desperate, eyes wide with panic, breathing laboured as he continues to try and station himself in front of you. He’d spent the better part of the hour explaining that he was, in fact, the masked killer Bullseye.
He’d been tucked into your living room chair, palms pressed flat to his knees as he explained, in detail, what his second life was like. You’d stood there, arms crossed, body rigid, as you mulled over what your boyfriend had told you.
So not only had he hid a secret identity from you, but he was also, essentially, a villain.
Great.
And the worst part? It made so much god damn sense. How had you not seen it? Were you really that fucking blind? Or had you hoped, prayed, that you’d finally been dating a good, decent man?
You knew that Dex had killed, yes-he was in the FBI, of course he’d had to. But killing out of necessity was very different than a criminal paying you because they put a hit on someone. The late nights, irregular bruising and body aches made so much more sense now. Yes, some part of you figured he was doing vigilante work but this wasn’t vigilant work.
It was straight up immoral.
Dex had tried to keep this a secret. He hadn’t wanted to, but this had been so good. He had been so good. He liked this relationship, had fallen in love with you, and was happy. Coming home to you had proven to be as adjustment he looked forward to. It had made him feel…normal. He didn’t have to pretend around you: he had his outbursts, his moments of panic, felt the need to keep things organized and in their place, and you were always so kind about it. He’d been put in his place by you, of course, but he’d been trying. He wanted this, needed this, needed you. But the look on your face now left him feeling scared, terrified even. Fear rose like bile in his throat and he felt his heart beating frantically in his chest, like a caged bird beneath the confines of his ribs.
The wretched, angry animal in him was clawing at his insides, begging to be set free.
She can’t do this to me. She can’t leave.
You’d been standing with your arms crossed the entire time he’d been talking to you, and god he’d been trying so hard not to shake or sweat but the hardened look on your face was making it difficult not to. And now you wanted space? Time to think? So you didn’t understand him like you’d said you did. If you’d actually understood him, knew him, cared about him, then this would make sense. You’d be understanding.
Why weren’t you understanding?!
Sweat had gathered on Dex’s temples and he swallowed loudly, palms facing you, terrified you were suddenly scared of him after realizing what he was capable of.
“Please, just-” The panic was evident in his usually calm, level voice. “Let’s just sit and talk. If you let me explain-”
“Benjamin,” Your voice is curt, short and nearly halts him in his tracks. “We have been talking. That’s what this was. You explained yourself and I asked for space.”
Dex felt like he was on the verge of a panic attack. The need to fold in on himself was beginning to chisel away at whatever was keeping him standing in front of you at this moment.
He could feel the tremor in his hands as he fought the urge to lunge forward and pull you into him. He couldn’t let you have space. Then you could leave him, decide it was better to be apart, and what if you didn’t want to see him again? What if you broke up with him? What was Dex supposed to do? Nonono, he needed you. He needed you.
Dex’ breathing was sharp, his heart in his throat as he moved to block your path again, his hands still out, palms facing you, showing he was safe.
I’m safe baby please.
I’m safe.
Safe.
Your face twisted and Dex could see your frustration with him quickly shifting into anger. He was overwhelming you, he knew that, but he couldn’t stop. This awful, awful ache in his gut made him feel like he was drowning and you hadn’t even left. What would he do if you did? What would he do if you said you needed space and actually took it?
He tried to keep himself from reaching for you, from touching you, from pulling you into him and making you listen and just fucking understand him.
He side stepped when you moved, planting himself back in your path.
“Dex-” A warning.
“Please, just-” He could hear how desperate he sounded, and maybe he should have cared but he couldn’t. “Don’t leave. Can we please talk? About this? Please?”
An exasperated sigh left you, and Dex watched your lip curl in a way it only did when you were reaching your limit.
“I know you said you needed space,” He rushed to explain himself, muscles tense as he prepared to physically stop you from moving away from him. “I just think we need to go over some things a little bit more.”
“Dex, did you lie to me?” It was curt, short, abrupt.
He froze, eyes boring into your own.
He swallowed.
“Yes, but-”
“That’s all I needed to hear,” You’d thrown your hands in the air, eyes rolling as you turned to move away from him again. “Please leave now. I just need some time to myself-”
Dex should have been embarrassed at his desperation. Honestly, he’d never even imagined he’d end up in a relationship let alone love someone the way he loved you.
He needed you.
You’d guided him. Hell, he’d even worn the mask exponentially less because he wanted to be around you so often. He wanted to be more like you, to love you, to protect you, to own you. You were his and only his.
So he did what any sane man would do: Benjamin Poindexter dropped to his knees and begged.
“Oh god,” it escaped you in a startled whisper.
“Please,” His voice was strained, brows drawn together as if it pained him to speak. His hands were on his thighs in front of him, flexing, as if he was forcing them to remain there. “I-I’ll do anything Y/N, just-just don’t leave.”
It was pathetic, he was pathetic. Begging on his knees in your apartment, pleading with you to just give him another chance.
His chest was heaving, sharp breaths escaping him as he gazed up at you. He looked wild and barely contained, and you could tell in that moment that even if you tried to make him leave, it was more than likely that he’d simply refuse. Or linger in the area. You hated how much you loved that about him.
“Benjamin,” It escaped you in a startled sigh, blinking rapidly as you gazed down at your boyfriend. You’d never seen him so distraught, so desperate.
It made your chest and pussy ache.
“Please,” His voice was hoarse. “I…I can’t do this without you.” Dex leaned forward on his knees, tentatively reaching towards you. “I’ll do whatever you ask me to. I’ll be good, I promise.”
Your hand came up to cover your mouth, lashes fluttering in surprise at how earnest he was being. You really had only wanted space…just-just some time to think. The realization that Dex was Bullseye was heavy. And, truthfully, you knew that this was manipulative. Dex could, absolutely, be manipulative. But he was also desperate and possessive. And honestly? Pathetic.
You loved that about him.
“Dex…” It was soft, the way you said it, and Dex moved to wrap his large, warm hands around your thigh, drawing you closer to him.
“Baby, please, I need you,” It was rushed, whiny, “I-I can fix it, just let me fix it.”
“Dex,” You started, eyes fluttering shut as you turned your face to look away from him, overwhelmed by his demonstration. “You can’t stop being yourself, and this is-”
He looked anguished. “I know I upset you, I know I lied and I promised I wouldn’t-” His hands were flexing around your leg, demanding, fingers almost bruising. “I fucked up. But I need you Y/N.”
Fuck.
You lifted your gaze to the ceiling for a moment, cursing yourself under your breath. Were you really going to cave? Fuck, it was so hard not to with him. He was so…Dex.
When you finally looked down at him again it almost made you catch your breath. His lips were parted, cheeks a soft hue of pink, brows drawn together and hair moussed. He was a wreck, begging on his knees for you, his hands wrapped around your leg. He’d moved closer so that your foot was resting between his knees now as he gazed up at you.
“Don’t make me leave,” His voice cracked as he spoke and you nearly wailed in frustration.
“Fine,” It was a soft murmur and you reached out to gently smooth his hair back from his forehead. “You can stay. Just…calm down, okay?”
Dex’ eyes fell shut, face immediately shifting into one of relief as he leaned into your touch.
“Thank you baby,” He managed, and when he gazed up at you, you nearly caught your breath. “I promise I’ll behave.”
He pulled you closer to him then, crowding around your leg as he began planting open mouthed kisses atop your thigh. You could feel his tongue and teeth dragging along the skin as you continued to rake your fingers through his hair.
“Thank you, thank you,” He kept whispering between kisses, hand hand smoothing up the back of your thigh as he drew you even closer to his body.
Too many people characterize Dex as this dominant, macho, no one does anything to him person. And while I think that can be true in some cases. I think we should start seeing him as what he is, a pathetic, masochistic, obsessive pushover. I mean matt slamming his face against the table until he knocked out a tooth and saying "thank you" speaks for itself but also stalking Julie and then coming to her in public so she feels safe screams "I am dangerous but I'm absolutely pathetic about you"
He stalks you because he's possessive the way a dog resource guards. You are highly valuable to him and he knows if he doesn't bare his teeth you will be easily stolen from him. He's insecure as fuck and is needy and desperate and entirely pathetic. He barez his teeth, barks, he bites, but kick him and he rolls over on his back as submissive and complacent as a puppy
Synopsis: the ways I think Dex would react to pregnancy 🫶🏼 this is just me rambling at 2 am
I’m torn between whether or not Dex would try to baby trap you.
On one hand: he’s possessive. Now you HAVE to stay. You’re having his baby. He has to protect both of you. That and he’s selfish. There’s no way you’ll leave him now. Not when he’s pumping round after round into you because what does it matter now? Oh, twins perhaps? It’s a little scary, but he can manage it.
On the other: Dex is selfish. Pregnancy could terrify him. His routine will be skewed, you’ll be exhausted, he’ll have to adjust to a new life and one with a screaming infant? You’ll be exhausted, miserable at times, he’ll have to work more, you’ll have to work more, and this world is already so fucked, he’s already so fucked-adding a kid to it? Not so sure about that.
I think if he’s okay with getting you pregnant? He’d be a fucking menace.
“Yeah baby, feel good?” His voice would be rough, demeaning as he rubs mean circles on your clit, the other hand palming, squeezing your tit. He’s got you bouncing on his lap, the kitchen chair squeaking beneath him. You both hope it’s sturdy enough to withstand the pace you’ve set.
“Y-yes Dex,” You’d manage, though your voice sounds strangled. Your feet are flat on the floor, and it’s so fucking easy to ride him like this. His dick feels so fucking good like this, and the pace you’ve set is all about you, all about making you feel good, making you cream for him.
And he loves it.
He grins, eyes half lidded as he watches your face twist in pleasure. Sweat’s gathered on your brow now, and he’s almost positive your legs are going to be sore after this. But in the cool, blue light of your darkened apartment, he can’t seem to take his eyes off of you.
He lets his rough, calloused palm slide up from the swell of your breast, smoothing along the front of your check until he gently wraps it around your throat. You moan when he does, head falling back when he squeezes.
“That’s it baby,” He coos, voice raspy, though he almost sounds breathless. “Just like that. Keep ridin’ me baby, make yourself feel good.”
He feels your pussy tighten when you sink onto him, his words urging you on. He knows how much you love it when he talks you through it, lets you use him to cum, get all fucked out and dumb on his cock.
The noises he’s pulling from you have his thighs flexing, balls tightening. Fuck, you feel too good. Your warm and wet and the obscene sounds escaping your conjoined bodies are making it incredibly difficult for him to not pin you down and sink himself into you at a pace that he knows will have you squealing for him.
Dex glances down at your pussy, and his face softens, mouth falling open when he catches sight of the creamy ring you’ve left around the base of his cock. Fuck, he loved it when you did that. He knew you were extra needy tonight, you’d been pawing at him since he’d walked in the door, said somethin’ about ovulating-
Dex’s hand tightened a fraction around your throat, his eyes glued to the soft curve of your belly as you started to grind on him. You were close, he could hear it in the way you were panting above him, the way were grinding back and forth on his lap, how he tightly you were gripping his shoulders.
“Fuck, Dex!” You were whining, thighs trembling. His thumb was still pinned against your clit, and he could feel how wet you were every time you pushed against him. He was just being mean now: keeping his hand still, letting you bump against his thumb as you rode him.
Dex’ lips pulled back, canines exposed as he suddenly dragged you closer to him. You startled, eyes flying open when he suddenly had you nose to nose.
“I should fuckin’ breed you,” His voice is almost a growl, brows lowered in a sort of scowl, hazel eyes darkened. “Put a baby in you right now. That what you want?”
He doesn’t miss the way your rhythm stutters, how your cunt tightens around him, or how your pupils blow even wider.
A choked mewl escapes you, and Dex tightens his grip around your neck, his other hand smoothing over your hip and grabbing a mean handful of your ass. He starts to rock you back and forth on his cock, urging you into a rougher, nastier pace, one controlled by him.
“Yeah, that’s what you want, isn’t it baby?” He’s louder now, voice roughened by the effort he’s putting into moving your body back and forth on his lap. “Want me to put a baby in you. Let me keep you, never let you leave.”
“D-Dex!” It’s a high pitched warning and your boyfriend knows you’re close, can feel and hear how obscenely wet he’s made you, and his lips curl back in a snarl before he’s pulling you in for a wet, sloppy kiss. It’s all tongue and teeth but fuck he needs more, moremoreMORE-
“Dex, I’m gonna-!” He swallows your words, tongue pressing past your teeth as your rhythm turns sloppy. You’re convulsing against him, body pressing into his chest, whining into his mouth as you start cumming around his cock. You barely pull away from his mouth to urge him on-
“B-breed me Dex, fill me baby-”
Before he’s groaning into your mouth, grip bruising on your ass as he paints the inside of your pussy with his cum. You’re whining above him, and he knows you can feel how hard he is, how hard his fuckin’ dick is throbbing as he fills you.
Dex gently releases your neck from his grip when he finally starts to come down from his high, hand smoothing across your shoulder as you sink into him. You’re both slick with sweat, breathing laboured as your head drops against his muscles shoulder. Dex is wrapping his arms around you, pulling you against him, mouthing at your shoulder as you struggle to catch your breath.
“I hope it takes,” his voice is gravelly as he whispers against your skin. You only huff out a laugh, turning your head to peer up at the greying blonde.
“Ha ha, very funny Dex,” You manage, cheeks flushed.
Dex’ eyes are hardened though, focused, his jaw set as he peers at the wall ahead of him. Your brow shifts, concern flooding your features.
Oh. Oh he was serious.
Oh he was serious.
“Dex-” You start but Dex shushes you, a hand smoothing down your spine before he’s shifting his hips again, cock still tucked oh so neatly into your leaking pussy.
“Don’t move,” He warns. “Gotta make sure it takes.”
But if he didn’t want a baby?
“What do you mean?” His voice is curt, hard, his body stiff as he stares you down across the room. He’s got his clean shirt fisted in his hand, the windows casting a bright, grey light into the apartment around him. It was supposed to rain later, and the apartment felt cold.
You swallowed, trying not to look away from his narrowed gaze.
“I’m pregnant,” You repeated, this time more firmly. Fuck, you hadn’t expected him to be so…mean.
Yes, you had.
You’d just hoped he wouldn’t be.
“You took a test?” His voice was measured, controlled, features unmoving, though you could see the veins in his forearms beginning to show as his grip tightened on the shirt he was holding.
You nodded, chewing the inside of your lip. You let your gaze shift over your boyfriend-he was wearing a blue under armour t shirt and black runner’s pants.
It was his day off.
It was meant to be relaxing. A day to reset. Clean, do laundry, go over bills, organize.
This would throw a wrench in that.
Dex hated change.
You knew that.
“I took two,” Your voice was smaller this time. Resentment was starting to form in your chest. It felt ugly and wrong, but this was so sensitive and Dex was staring at you like you’d just kicked dirt at him.
“How did this happen?” His tone was almost biting and you caught yourself rolling your eyes, hand coming up to run through your hair.
“I think it’s pretty obvious Dex-” You start, though your voice is laced with anger now.
“That’s not what I meant,” Dex interrupts you, turning to toss his shirt onto the couch. The laundry was partially folded. He’d only gotten halfway through. “I thought you were monitoring your cycle-” He huffed a breath, catching himself before he spoke again, “we were monitoring your cycle.”
You felt yourself feeling the need to shrink, suddenly feeling like a stranger in your boyfriend’s apartment. Was it really shared? Or was it just his?
You felt unwanted.
Shame bubbled up in your chest.
“I guess we weren’t safe enough,” Your voice is much softer as you speak, but this time you refuse to meet Dex’ gaze.
Dex is unmoving as he stares at you. The small, polished kitchen suddenly felt like it was miles and miles in length, like the island and the chairs separating you were mountains instead of exactly that: chairs.
Dex’s hands are balled into fists at his sides, lips pulled into a thin line. His chest is shifting as his breathing picks up. There’s a moment of tense silence before he scrubs a hand down his face, blinking rapidly, eyes wide as he does. He sinks onto the couch behind him, elbows resting on his knees, hands covering his mouth.
“I can’t do this. I can’t raise a kid. I don’t want a kid.”
His words leave you breathless, chest tightening to an excruciating degree. You feel your body still, a heavy weight twisting painfully in your stomach. Despite your own fears, and the wretched, sinking feeling you’d had in your gut when that stupid second line had appeared, a part of you had hoped that Dex would have at least been kind about it.
But his eyes were wide, unseeing as he stared at the floor ahead of him, usually combed back hair rather disheveled from having run his hand through it.
What had you expected, really? Dex was a psychopath. Sure, he loved you, but you were the first and only person he’d ever loved. Why on earth would that extend beyond that?
You take a slow, measured breath before running a hand down your face. “Look, I’m gonna go-”
“Hey, Y/N, no-” Dex is moving towards you before you have a chance to turn. His hands are suddenly on your shoulders as he forces you to face him. “Don’t leave. Please.”
You suck in a deep breath through your nose, ribs expanding as you struggle to meet your boyfriend’s gaze. His face is,..almost unreadable, brows dipped ever so slightly.
He was trying to control himself.
You weren’t sure if that hurt you.
You think it did.
“I…” He’s slow to speak, lips pressed into a thin line as he swallows. “I don’t know how to react. I could sit here and say this is great news, but I would be lying.”
You realize he’s trying to implement the things you’ve talked about, the skills, the management of his…tendencies. When you’d first started dating, Dex had been…explosive at times. He’d tried to hide it from you at first, but eventually his past had caught up with him. Understandably so. But after almost losing you after one too many arguments and too many bloodied nights after a night out as Bullseye, Dex had started to implement skills he’d learned in therapy.
It was that or lose you. He was pretty certain he’d descend into genuine madness if he lost you.
That being said, he liked what you two had. He liked your routines, the rhythm, the lifestyle you had set. Adding a baby to that? It would…change things. Change you, change him, change the relationship. What if you drifted from him? What if that thing made you sick? Would you have to move? Was the apartment big enough? And the diapers, the filthy clothing, the bile and bodily fluids-
You could see in the way that Dex’ eyes had shifted that he was losing himself in an anxious loop. A rather awful one, you presumed, given how anxious you were.
Dex could not go down that path again. Not now. You needed him, but you also couldn’t babysit his episodes anymore.
“Hey,” You reached up, softer this time, your hand settling gently against his cheek. “We have time to…think. Okay?”
“I want to be selfish with you,” Dex confessed. “I’m not…good at these things. Not really. Other people’s children…it’s different. It’s-”
“An act,” You finished for him, painfully aware of Dex’ diagnosis. “I know. But…this isn’t something you’ve ever thought about?”
Dex blinks at you before shrugging. “Maybe in passing. But I’ve never really gotten this far in a relationship before.” His words are measured but honest. “The others were…really only for looks. Just to see if I could do it. I didn’t really care about them. Not like you.”
“Well you did stalk me,” You offer lightly, though your face twists as you realize the relationship you have with this man. What was wrong with both of you? Jesus. “One step at a time? I just found out twenty minutes ago.”
Dex nods slowly, stiff, like he’s forcing back a panic attack. “Yes…okay.”
You raise a brow, blinking slowly up at him. “Why don’t you go finish folding your laundry? Will that help?”
Dex nods once, but before he turns to go he sets a large, warm palm on your belly. “I’m trying to be…open,” He manages, though it’s stiff.
“Yea,” Your voice sounds…smaller. “I know.”
THE END
Anyways, let me know if y’all see the image or not. Idk if I wrote him well???
titsay
tangentwithtanner
gummygunk
areudirty
