New method for productivity!

Same premise, new blog! I am not the original owner, just someone who wishes to keep the company's spirit alive ;)

[personnelbloat]

The number 1 office productivity advocate is back!

The contents of this blog present a (fictional) company, where the employees, both male and female, have decided to cease defecating for good, in an effort to lessen their time spent on bathroom breaks.

Their methods of holding their waste include plugs, anti-diarrhea medicine, or even just holding it in! Of course, after a while, they become so constipated that they no longer have a need for any of these methods.

While this decision is voluntary for everyone involved, after some time, new recruits have started feeling pressured to follow suit by the sight of all the swolled bellies all around them at work.

It is now a tradition, with the employees competing on who can get to a larger measurement faster, and even holding company-wide beauty peagants!

While cramping and movement difficulties have proven to be issues, productivity is at an all time high!

[personnelbloat]

(ooc) I have reblogged all posts made by the previous owner of this url that i could find! I will keep producing original content whenever i have the time.

[personnelbloat-deactivated20200]

“Hey, can you do me a favour and take me out to the drive through for some lunch? I’m so tired of restraining myself, my poor little stomach is just gurgling and grinding inside of me and I want to fill it up with a really big meal without anyone else seeing me doing it.”

[personnelbloat-deactivated20200]

Mmm, that was such a satisfying meal.

I always find it important to make sure I eat really good food, because I know it’s going to spend months inside me, digesting.

My big belly is so much happier when it’s got quality stuff locked away inside of it.

[personnelbloat-deactivated20200]

Even after all this time, she is very self conscious about her digestion noises being heard by other people in the office.

During the day, she avoids eating and her empty stomach builds up a ravenous hunger as the hours pass.

Then, just before bed, she has her one meal of the day, where she crams as much food down her gullet as her eager stomach can possibly fit.

That way, most of the noise from this enormous meal being forced through her tummy and everything else she has kept inside her gurgling back up to make room for it, happens while she is sleeping, where nobody else can hear it.

[personnelbloat-deactivated20200]

As the months without going to the toilet pass by, all those meals accumulating inside of her guts start to get really heavy. Taking the elevator instead of hauling the weight of her massive belly starts becoming very attractive. In the confined space, the squeezing of her bloated intestines makes an elevator music all of their own.

[personnelbloat-deactivated20200]

“OK, so you caught me. I’m sneaking in an extra break.

You could report me for that, except I don’t think that’s what you’re in here for.

I’ve seen you staring at my belly. You know what’s in there, right?

And that doesn’t bother you? Hmm, I didn’t know you were so kinky.

Well then, how are you going to punish such a naughty girl with a big, bloated tummy?”

[personnelbloat-deactivated20200]

She may sit down for a rest now and then, but her bowels never get a moment of rest.

That cupcake she’s about to enjoy is still going to need to pass through the entire length of her digestive tract. The hundreds of meals already accumulated inside it over many months must, with great effort, be laboriously pushed aside in order to make room for the new arrival as it makes its journey through the overcrowded depths of her tummy.

Every single meal she enjoys, will cause everything inside her to be cycled back and forth and re-digested.

[personnelbloat-deactivated20200]

At first, working in an open plan office was really intimidating for her.

As her belly started to bloat up, everyone could hear every noise that it was making and she was very embarrassed and anxious about it.

Several months later, her attitude has completely changed. When people can hear noises coming from her belly, it reminds them of how hard she’s working. So now, she wants them to hear it all.

[personnelbloat-deactivated20200]

“You know what’s fun to do, now that I’m all blocked up and everything I eat has nowhere to go? McDonalds always gives you the runs, right? Well, me too. So I can feel this stuff inside me trying to get out as quickly as possible. Then it finds out my back door is sealed tight and my tummy just goes NUTS. It’s so much fun to feel it desperately trying to find a way out when it’s trapped in there.”

[personnelbloat-deactivated20200]

Waiting for her rideshare to an early morning performance review meeting, when she feels an ominous quaking and hears angry noises coming from her heavily packed gut.

Oh dear, wouldn’t it be embarrassing if her tummy were spending the whole meeting drawing attention to itself by thrashing around inside of her?

[personnelbloat-deactivated20200]

“Another lunch meeting? Just after the big one yesterday? Sure thing!” Thinking to herself: My belly feels like it’s going to explode, but I really need to land that deal. We need the business!

[personnelbloat-deactivated20200]

“Oh, you noticed my tummy was gurgling? And you’re worried about whether I’m eating enough? How sweet! You know, you could fix that if you took me out to eat.”

[personnelbloat-deactivated20200]

Many thoughts are begun…and never completed. Lost like tears in rain, as a particularly loud and violent squeeze from their empty stomach breaks their concentration.

[personnelbloat-deactivated20200]

Those meetings are absolutely surreal. People can hardly hear each other speak over the near constant collective orchestra of intestinal distress emanating from so many bloated bellies in such a small space. Yet they ignore that and listen to each other’s positive affirmations that they’re doing the right thing and all leave more committed and motivated.

[personnelbloat-deactivated20200]

Diet is the most obvious and radical one. Liquid, nutrient rich diets tend to be most optimal, as they result in the least left over matter to accumulate in the bowels.

[personnelbloat-deactivated20200]

As she celebrated her promotion, she took a moment to be thankful for the bloated belly that made it all possible.