Pessimist Press

Pessimist Press is created by Doctor A. Pessimist, and his psychotic robot Manic Minion! Feel free to read Doctor A. Pessimist's articles, and check out Manic Minion's awful comic Dildo Squad!

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Manic Minion's Crazy Craig! Episode 245 - Toot!

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Manic Minion's Rage Bait! Episode 66.

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Shadows of Grief

By Doctor Pessimist

Junxton residents appear to be cheerful.

Many of them grin and are overly polite.

This is a deception to deceive many people.

Deep down, these folks are dealing with grief.

They have experienced disasters and dark days.

Many villagers suffered from similar despair.

The grieving was not solely an internal matter.

Their pain manifests itself in the shape of shadows.

The shadows, however, are not in the waking realm.

People have to see shadows in their dreams.

Every twisted shadow takes on a unique shape.

When they are awake, they present a brave face.

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Sunday Sock Puppet Scoop!

Cock-a-doodle-dildo! Oh, is it really the end of the week already? Kids! Timmy and I are doing the second-half of the shopping today. It has to be done. No doubt there will be panic-buyers. Why? Insert dumb reason here. Good? Cool. We'll be moving on to other matters. Anyway, the weather is up and down like a yo-yo. We don't know if it will rain or be sunny. Also, the temperature feels up and down, too. Does it want to be warm? Is it cool? Make up your bloody mind. That's it for this episode, kids. TTFN! - Manic Minion.

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Saturday Sock Puppet Post!

It is Saturday once again, you dozy sock puppets! Kids! It's looking gloomy outside. Where the hell is the sunshine? I know the Sun is in space, and it's always there, blah, blah, blah! My Timmy was looking forward to a sunny day. Isn't he entitled to one? Speaking for which, we're doing the shopping today. It's the first-half. We like to split it so we can do other stuff. Like, cleaning, studying, and al that funky jazz. It's great to have a routine at home, isn't it? Tested Positive has shown his support for football. Why? Does he actually care about the sport? Or does he support it to look good? The latter. I assume it's always the latter. Damn celebrities like him. Well, that's it for this episode, folks. TTFN! - Manic Minion.

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Manic Minion's Dildo Squad! Episode 468 - Bad List!

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Manic Minion's Crazy Craig! Episode 244 - Turnip 2!

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Manic Minion's Rage Bait! Episode 65!

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Phantom Fantasy

By Doctor Pessimist

Phantom Fantasy was a comic shop.

It is something I think about all the time.

There were so many comics inside.

Classic figurines were available there.

Kids frequented this establishment.

Of course, the shop was a popular haunt.

The proprietor enjoyed selling her items.

Stephanie Braybrooke adored comics.

Miss Braybrooke like fantastical stories.

Unfortunately, the shop had to close.

Miss Braybrooke had to leave town.

Kids had to look for comics elsewhere.

My folks couldn’t care less about this.

Not me. It had caused me to cry for days.

Here's hoping Stephanie is doing well.

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Sunday Sock Puppet Scoop!

Cock-a-doodle-dildo! Oh, is it really the end of the week already? Kids! We're doing the second-half of the shopping today. It has to be done. No doubt there will be panic-buyers. Why? Why the hoarding? The boss is in a good mood because he recently watched My Dinner with Andre. He says the film is deep on an emotional level. I am not a fan of the film. Now, add a few crazy robots in there, eh? What else? Oh, yeah! We don't do anything creative on a Sunday. We like to rest. No. It isn't for religious reasons. We just need a rest! Well, that's it for this episode, kids. TTFN! - Manic Minion.

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Saturday Sock Puppet Post!

It is Saturday once again, you dozy sock puppets! Kids! It's looking gloomy outside. And it's still warm? Mother Nature is definitely in one of her moods. I blame humans. Why? You know. Today, Timmy and I are doing the first-half of the shopping. It has to be done. We're mainly focusing on getting the essentials. Hopefully, the good milk is available to buy. Damn milk-hoarding-barrel-bummers. What else? We're never running out of ideas over here. The kind people online are providing us with material. Although, it would be nice if we got more material for Viking Vivian. There's no shortage of material for B-Movie Barry and Warrior Woman. We're super prepared, yo. Well, that's it for this episode, kids. TTFN! - Manic Minion.

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Manic Minion's Dildo Squad! Episode 467 - Bickering!

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Manic Minion's Crazy Craig! Episode 243 - Launch!

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Manic Minion's Rage Bait! Episode 64!

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Sugar Decay

By Doctor Pessimist

Sugar Decay was a classic sweet store.

The kids enjoyed going there after school.

The proprietor, Grapheme, sold many snacks.

What did Grapheme market these snacks for?

Money seemed like the obvious choice.

Of course, there’s a deeper, sadder truth.

Grapheme and Belinda were both childless.

They wanted to give their own children treats.

Grapheme and Belinda enjoyed seeing smiles.

All the children liked their delicious goodies.

Sadly, Grapheme and Belinda passed away.

Their sweet legacy died along with them.

No other goodies can match their treats.

Now, they only exist in my old memories.

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Sunday Sock Puppet Scoop!

Cock-a-doodle-dildo! Oh, is it really the end of the week already? Kids! Timmy and I are doing the second-half of the shopping today. It has to be done. No doubt people will be panic-buying. Why? It's in their nature, that's why. Honestly, I could do a show about it. In theory, we need a rest from our little projects. There are too many folks online that provide us with material. It cannot be helped! So, there are chances I may have to write stuff down for my comics. Well, that's it for this episode, kids. TTFN! - Manic Minion.

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Saturday Sock Puppet Post!

It is Saturday once again, you dozy sock puppets! Kids! The weather is up and down like a yo-yo. I don't know whether it's going to rain. It would be nice to know in advance. Timmy and I need to do the first-half of the shopping. We need to get it done, yo! We have someone on the inside to help us with Rage Bait. They don't know it yet. They keep providing us material for Warrior Woman. That's nice and all. We need more material for the other two jerks. People are complaining about the new Supergirl film. My Timmy enjoyed it, and that's what matters. I thought the villain sucked. I kept comparing him to Doctor Pessimist. My boss has more character. Well, that's it for this episode, kids. TTFN! - Manic Minion.