Check Your Conspiracy Theory Part Three: Babylonian Mysteries?? In My Religion???
Does your conspiracy theory sound something like this?
There is an ancient Babylonian mystery religion that secretly survives to this day.
This religion is responsible for all manner of false and corrupt teachings.
They are behind the Catholic Church and numerous other false religions.
Human sacrifice and cannibalism are included among its practices.
The Virgin Mary and Jesus are based on Ishtar and Tammuz, Isis and Osiris, Devaki and Krishna, or some other divine mother/son duo.
The word "Easter" comes from "Ishtar."
The pope's mitre is based on the mitre of Dagon.
This conspiracy theory was created by Alexander Hislop, a 19th century Presbyterian minister who decided to take Revelation extremely literally (always a bad idea) when it described a woman clothed in scarlet with the words "MYSTERY BABYLON" on her forehead. He proceeded to cook up a conspiracy theory about the alleged origins of not only the Catholic Church, but also of just about every religion that isn't Christianity or Judaism.
He claimed that after Noah's Flood, the legendary hunter Nimrod and the semi-legendary queen Semiramis were the married rulers of Babylon, and they created a mystery religion in which they were venerated as divine beings, and of course this religion demanded human sacrifice. He claimed that the pair of them had a son together (Tammuz), that Nimrod was killed while Semiramis was pregnant, and that when Tammuz was born Semiramis declared him to be Nimrod reborn. And the arguments he uses to "prove" this are... shall we say, less than sound.
Imagine if someone told you that Hatsune Miku and Michelle Obama are the same person because Miku obviously comes from Michelle and the -ama in Obama is clearly related to the -une in Hatsune, then claimed Michelle Obama was the creator of every video game ever made because Hatsune Miku created Minecraft. Then they claimed Michelle Obama also owned Microsoft because Microsoft = Mikusoft. And then, to top it all off, they also claimed she was a famous singer who performed under the name of "Luce" because the Catholic Church's mascot is obviously based on Hatsune Miku.
That's what this entire book is like.
If two things looked kinda similar, or if two words sounded kinda the same, or if he could make any connection whatsoever, Hislop would claim they were actually connected regardless what any form of common sense might suggest. For example:
He claimed that because certain Near Eastern kings wore horned crowns, then the horned headdresses of certain Native Americans must have been related.
He claimed the Tahitian god 'Oro was based on the Egyptian god Horus, because their names sound similar.
He claimed that Athena was based on Semiramis because her name was supposedly based on the Hebrew adon (meaning "lord"), which could also be pronounced athon, because Astarte was referred to as "Beltis" (Greek form of Belit) which means lady.
He claimed that Odin was based on Nimrod because his name sounds like adon, and Baal means lord.
He claimed that Osiris being depicted in leopard skins is evidence that Osiris is based on Nimrod, because Nimrod hunted leopards.
He claimed that Eros is based on Tammuz because his mother is Aphrodite who was based on Astarte who was based on Semiramis.
He claimed that Nimrod was torn apart because some other figures he decided were based on Nimrod (including Orpheus!) were said to have been torn apart.
The Babylonian mystery religion is of course a complete fabrication, created in his imagination by presupposing that the Catholic Church is literally a Babylonian mystery religion, and by assuming that whatever the Catholics of his own time practiced and believed was also what the ancient Babylonians practiced and believed. (Plus all the human sacrifice stuff!) Basically, it's a whole lot of circular reasoning.
The book has been a huge influence on people like David Icke (the space lizards guy) and Fritz Springmeier (the 13 Illuminati Bloodlines guy), and through them it's diffused into a lot of western conspiracy mythology. Thanks to its ongoing popularity among certain hyperconservative Protestants, it's also leaked out into general culture, usually in the form of memes or factoids proclaiming the alleged pagan origins of Catholicism and various Christian holidays. Ultimately, few people have ever encountered it in its original and undistilled state, and so few people realize just how ridiculous and utterly hateful it all is. However, if you ever want to see the bullshit in its pure form for yourself, the book is in the public domain and can easily be found by searching for it.
2087
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