Pete's Couch @petescouch - Tumblr Blog

Milk Farts.

I'm eating gourmet cheese on chicken in a biscuit crackers. It kind of feels like eating caviar on a hot dog. Probably great, but one food is severely out of the other's league.

#cheese #ghettofoods #lactose #milkfarts #petescouch #mouthshapes

Henrik Lundqvuist and David Beckham should make love and have glorious Greek god babies who are good at lacrosse.

#davidbeckham #futbol #hotdudes #henriklundqvist #petescouch

Hi, I'm Beer that Only Your Dad Drinks.

#coorslight #dadpop #petescouch

It's ... too sweet. A whole one gives you diabetes.

#beetus #oohpieceofcandy #petescouch #mouthshapes

"Steeling the parameters for the Price is Right wheel"

"Why are there so many boxes of candy cigarettes up here? Does he get stressed out when he is playing call of duty?"

#petescouch #candycigarettes #callofduty

Dude: You're the least pompous person I know.

Me: I KNOW RIGHT?!

#Iknowright #petescouch #pompous

House

If I rupture my eardrum, does it grow back on its own? What about the ligaments in my knees? Will they repair themselves eventually? Or am I a cripple unless I get a surgeon to repair them? What's wrong with House? Why can't they fix him?

#mybodyisfreakingmeout #petescouch #drdomicile

Henrik

Lundqvist does not look normal in a goalie uniform. He should only wear three piece suits or boxer briefs.

#hockeydudes #petescouch #henriklundqvist

Larry is not white. Larry is clear.

So like, did they shoot this thing full of tranquilizers and then attack him with oxy clean?

#petescouch #lions #thismightbephotoshop

They Might Be Giants was on Conan tonight

Are they a real rock band? Do they think they are? Do I only partially like them because I heard their jams on Tiny Toons when I was small? Is that the guy's real voice or is he doing it on purpose?

#petescouch #thesejamsaremakingmyearshappy #idiotbox

This cat is so crappy looking.

#petescouch #catsthatarenotsogreat

Fucking Tumblr!

How does it work! People are straight up commenting on this! Strangers!

#whatdoImashtomakeitdo #petescouch

Nicki Minaj

Is Nicki Minaj ok to not like? Like is she someone all the cool hipsters like so you have to like her?

#hipsters #insecurity #nicki minaj #petescouch

Fingerprints are weird

You know, having fingerprints is weird. How does my body grow them? Why do I need a fingerprint? How did that happen? Cats don't have fingerprints.

#mybodyisfreakingmeout #petescouch

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