Aries women: HOT fun and passionate
Aries men: cancelled
Taurus women: sensual. beautiful and comforting
Taurus men: cancelled
Gemini women: brilliant, hilarious and insightful
Gemini men: so cancelled it’s not even funny
Cancer women: loving, supportive and talented
Cancer men: cancelled
Leo women: actual goddesses, glowing irl
Leo men: extremely cancelled
Virgo women: intuitive and sharp, perceptive, fiercely loyal
Virgo men: cancelled, can choke
Libra women: gorgeous, intellectual, inspiring
Libra men: 99% cancelled
Scorpio women: ride or DIES, sexy and fun, smart and strategic
Scorpio men: UNBELIEVABLY cancelled
Sagittarius women: sweet and fun, adventurous and philosophical
Sagittarius men: cancelled
Capricorn women: hardworking, ingenious innovators
Capricorn men: 99% cancelled
Aquarius women: literal beacons of compassionate brilliance. the embodiment of hope for the future
Aquarius men: 99% cancelled
Pisces women: inconclusive. there might be potential there. further study is needed.
Pisces men: so cancelled i literally commissioned NASA to develop a spray repellant i can use to keep them away from me à la RAID




















