@petsuppliesco - Tumblr Blog

had my daily realization that im young and learning and truly just beginning to live, and that i have a whole life ahead of me and that im doing well. crazy

#manifesting

i may spend the rest of my life rehashing and rehashing i think there's no ceiling to the amount of friendship trauma one can hold because every time i think i have Learned or Moved On there's something new because it's never me it's them but one of them told me in like 2018 that maybe if it keeps happening to you it's because you're the problem and i'm sure she said that to hurt me like many of them have turned to personal attacks when the time comes but the words can't leave my mind like even when i do nothing someone will find something wrong

i dont think i truly started learning how to socialize until i was out of high school i was running on survival mode until then and thus i don't think i felt anything then except

turns out the real world is really complicated and people do things that don't make sense and don't just Say how they feel and i was really never meant to understand any of this either i'm not reading people right or people assume i'm playing by the same rotten rules despite when i Say that i'm not

the point is that the more i lose people / people leave the more i get scared of pulling a wrong move or even meeting new people and that really sucks the life out of me