fun archives | HAL |ask central

for the asks and hal's awesome jokes 

[pfbi-shitposts]

My life is a k pop drama and I want to scream my problems

GIVE THEM TO ME

[emolise]

[hwardlaunch]

Opinions on Dab and Evan being together

Dan: you know we could just take it slow, see how things go-

Phil: K I S S H I S H A N D !!!!!

Dan: we could go on a nice walk together, or cloud gaze, or,

Phil: WHAT IF THEY JUST F U C K E D RIGHT HERE AND NOW

[demonphannie]

[templeofshame]

Talk about branding, even when they’re giving to @phandomgives/Make A Wish it’s 1) joint; 2) Dan with some half-assed edgy humor; 3) Phil wish emojis.

[quercussp]

[buzzfeed]

21 People Who Forgot A Word And Just Made Some Shit Up

[mrkevinmchale]

im crying

[notalwaysluminous]

a friend of mine forgot the word “lamp” once and said “light faucet”

[teddylacroix]

I’m shaking from laughter. Yes, this is the right way to start a Friday morning.

[ravingliberal-deactivated201802]

Listen guys, I have a BA in English and an MA in Professional Writing and I have:

Forgotten the word “gums” and called them “teeth cuticles” Forgotten the term “liquor store” and called it a “rum-o-rama” Forgotten the word “mohawk” and called it a “head mustache”

The list goes on and on. Wording is HARD. 

[osointricate]

You know that putty you put in holes before you paint a wall? I forgot the word “putty,” called it “hole-be-gone” instead, and now my whole family refers to it as hole-be-gone.

[mechhound]

it’s hard to make the brain do the english, ok!?

[tosety]

I wish I had this skill. When I lose a word, my brain derails. I use the term ‘derail’ because it is the mental equivalent of a train derailment (just easier to clean up)

[serinmatheson1]

At the staff meeting, my boss referred to the clipboard as “that snappy board”

[magistrate-of-mediocrity]

My 4-year-old nephew didn’t know the word “knuckle” so he told us his finger knee hurt.

[but-the-library-of-alexandria]

@parisdortdanslenoire arm corner

[trust-gavroche]

I had a French-Canadian friend who couldn’t remember the word for “feet” so they said “leg hands” and couldn’t remember eyes so said “seeing balls”

[mankillercalledbunny]

My German friend didn’t know how to say that the container holding her lasagna had leaked, so she said “the box drooled”

[petermorwood]

German for slug is “Nacktschnecke” (naked snail) so “Schnecke ohne Hause” (snail without house) is logical enough. After all, this is a language where gloves are “Handschuhe” and a bra is a “Büstenhalter” (though not a Titzling; if the place with the frequently-stolen signs is anything to go by, that’s more likely to be a town in Austria…)

[jhiaxus-soup]

I have the reverse happening to me in my native tongue. I often forget that we call spatulas a “frying shovel” in Swedish -_- my boyfriend teases me for it while cooking

[toadallytired-deactivated202407]

Recently my mum called my chest binder a “pecs corrector”

[howelljesus-deactivated20210217]

anyways it’s valentine’s day so here is some poetry

roses are red

u are my fave

[howelljesus-deactivated20210217]

roses are red

everyone dies

[howelljesus-deactivated20210217]

roses are red

i want tea

[howelljesus-deactivated20210217]

roses are red

i’ve never been to china

[howelljesus-deactivated20210217]

roses are red

we are all blessed

[howelljesus-deactivated20210217]

roses are red

im a lil gay

awrf hi dan happy valentine’s day

[howelljesus-deactivated20210217]

roses are red

i am not done

[latenightdork]

Roses are red

Stab me with a knife

Maybe you’re next to me, in my life.

[latenightdork]

Roses are red,

Glitter is rad,

This was the most fun I’ve ever had.

[othersentencesbyphil]

Roses are red

after this i needed to call a nurse in

I’ve spent the majority of 2016 with another person

[domesticbanting-deactivated2018]

Roses are red,

I want to cry every day,

Hey Phil. What? Let’s go home. Okay.

[instarbuckswithdan]

Dan is a furry

Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell

Phil is my bestest buddy

and he knows me well

[cheekybumsecks]

roses are red i want them to get a spaniel fucking on the fuck fuck language daniel

[instarbuckswithdan]

you thought this was done, right?

don’t be in a haste

i will if they insist or be polite

but i don’t like the taste

[wokingdan]

phil lester is a work of art

dan howell is a good lad

what would happen if we did go further apart

i think the universe would rip in half let’s not try that

[snokoplazm-deactivated20240611]

roses are red violets are blue your skin looks nice under the blue sun

[j1ngi]

roses are red

violets are blue

i like spaghetti

let’s go fuck

[pfbi-shitposts]

I have the flu 😩

put it away

[pfbi-shitposts]

I kindaaaaaa... really all ready have a love/hate relationship with 2018 memes

thats a goddamn mood 

[halogender]

ass

[little-bear-lu-archived-deactiv]

….-thetic

[halogender]

ass

[worldillamanati-blog]

…..-piration

[halogender]

ass

[sunflxwerbabe]

-assination

[halogender]

ass

[worldillamanati-blog]

…-imilation

[halogender]

ass

[imyourangel]

-uredness

[halogender]

ass

[sophiemars]

-et

[halogender]

ass

[freckleslester]

-istance

[halogender]

fine. yall wanna take over the ass post i’ll just change it. you cant censor me. dick

[n00dle-boy]

-ery

[halogender]

fine. how abbout boob

[comradebeauvoir]

-y trap

[halogender]

u cannot stop me. i will find a word cum

[fragranceofdarkness]

-bersome

[instarbuckswithdan]

sex

[philiie]

-tuplets

[oldbury-deactivated20190319]

anyone else in this thread smoke weed

[loveinns-deactivated20181123]

yeah

[gazebodj]

What is this thread

[peachydenbrough]

Fuckin lovely that’s what it is

[im-figgering-on-biggering]

Bitch

[arya-durin-51]

What the fuck

[nanna-the-disir-maiden-deactiva]

I love tumblr

[mwg-drwg]

Me, when I buy 24 roombas and an amazon alexa

Me: Alexa, unleash the roombas

*24 roombas emerge slowly from under my bed, consuming everything in their path*

[pfbi-shitposts]

It's been so longggggggg

Yeeee very aa

[dialupmodem-deactivated20250702]

thanks for following me, let’s start arranging the marriage

[pfbi-shitposts]

@kiss-kiss-fall-in-phan

[pfbi-shitposts]

b l e p

mep

[pfbi-shitposts]

Can we not tho

we can not yes

[leatherwingsinc-deactivated2015]

[pfbi-shitposts]

I haven't been on tumblr in so longgggggg

stayyyyyy onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn tumblrrrrrrrrrr