Hey, I'm Allison.

English (Creative Writing) Degree IP 📚 Happy rockstars wife and dog mom of 2 💕 Trying to survive while appreciating the little things 😊 *I sell clothes to help pay for my service dog's training- Vinted.com/allisonscherer*

[phatassmcflurry]

Started up my Depop shop tonight @ peachresale Most sizes right now are ~2 to ~8 with a few outlyers. Please check it out guys, it helps pay for my service dogs training🐶

[surreal--memes]

[monarchofrymden]

This isn’t surreal this is high school

[stankyleg-deactivated2918973]

And college

[tastefullyoffensive]

(via itsthymee)

[phatassmcflurry]

☁☁☁ *DO NOT REMOVE SOURCE OR CAPTION*

[phatassmcflurry]

☁☁☁ *DO NOT REMOVE SOURCE OR CAPTION*

[i-was-once-a--tortoise]

everything about this is fucking hilarious. i’m sorry, random pompeii man, but your death was some looney tunes bullshit and the framing of this photograph isn’t helping.

[louslyscrewed]

My favorite part of this stream so far was when Vault Boy tucked his son into bed.

[coutureicons]

freaky teens

[eelpatrickharris-deactivated202]

uhhh yeah anyways cesar millan is a piece of shit who uses completely unnecessary force on dogs in an attempt to “dominate” them and this blog is 100% against him and his terrible training methods

[a-blessed-feline]

He administers homeopathic remedies to dogs while promoting outdated models about dog behavior and other pseudoscience, and his methods have been criticized by actual dog trainers as “cruel” and “unnecessary”, as well as “unscientific and inhumane”.

[bestfunny]

lmaoooo someone made it a shirt.. i’m dying… found it HERE

[deejay]

Shrek eats pussy confirmed.

[ruinedchildhood]

[2000ish]

Nothing but respect for MY king.

[anonymousnerdgirl]

[milestellers]

[doorstoplord]

have i ever told y’all the story about how a snake knew I was trans years before I did

[doorstoplord]

okay so

my 7th grade social studies/8th grade science teacher (he did both classes. Somehow…) had a snake lovingly named Hisser. Hisser would occasionally be taken out to crawl and he was held by kids and when there were fire alarms Hisser was taken along, usually to his chagrin. 

This was one of those days where we had in class work time and most of us were just chilling and so Mr. A got Hisser out and started passing him around.

Every girl student that he came to, he would immediately snuggle up to, wrap around their arms, and get cozy. With boy students, he would just sort of sit in the coiled lump that he’d been handed in. This was true with just about every single student, and Mr. A said that Hisser likes girls a lot better than guys and this has been thoroughly proven by Hisser’s attitude.

Then Hisser was handed to me. He was a loveable cold scaley rope as you would expect, but he didn’t coil around my arms. He didn’t get cozy. He just sat there. And Mr. Anderson said, “Huh. That’s weird. He usually likes girls.” 

I passed the snake to my friend and surely enough, Hisser wrapped around her arms and got cozy. 

I came out as a trans guy about 7-8 years later, and just recently realized that Hisser was right about me not being a girl all along. 

I’ve also decided that whenever anyone asks me “Why I think I’m a boy,” which is my LEAST favorite question ever, I’ll just tell them that a snake told me a long time ago. 

[apple-dandy]

[amateur]

Source

[ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa]

So, I had a guy hand me his number today and he followed it with, “I mean no disrespect, but here—”

I told him I was flattered but had a long term, serious girlfriend, who I loved very much.

To which he responded, still pleasant and with polite interest,  ”She’s a lucky woman. How long have you been together?”

THAT is how you approach/handle a ‘no’, boys. take fucking notes.

[coldaethyl]

Reblogging because this is freakin’ important

[dxactivatxdusxr]

A group of rough looking boys walked past me today and all I heard of their conversation was “he’s got that anxiety disorder bro so I went with him so he’d be more comfortable” and it made me realise the world isn’t all that bad

[fitzefitcher]

#this is team skull

[its-just-a-phage]

The pet store I worked at had a pen with rabbits near the front door. On every side of the pen were huge signs saying “You can pet me, but don’t pick me up!” One day two absolutely huge guys came in and one immediately reaches into the pen to grab a rabbit. Before i could say anything his friend grabbed his arm and asked him “did you see the sign?” He said “yeah! it says that you can pick them up but don’t pet them!” Then he went quiet for a moment and softly said “I didn’t read it right did I?” And his friend just puts his arm on his shoulder and said “its ok, i know you’ve got that thing where words get mixed up. Let just pet these cute lil shits” And I still haven’t gotten over that interaction.

[yallmightt]

I was walking my dog through Boston bc he likes the likes car rides. He’s a little thing tbh we call him short and long. So this huge scary man with a full beard approaches me like “hey can my buddy and I pet your dog? He gets nervous around dogs but your’s is so small I think it’s a good place to start.” Ofc I was like “yes he’s very friendly!” So this guy brings his equally big friend over and they sit on the floor while this man looks terrified of my tiny dog so big man number one asks “can I pick him up?” And i say yes so he picks him up and puts him on man number two’s lap and man number two is abt to freak out and his friend straight up just goes “hey man, it’s okay just relax I’d never let anything hurt you. He’s a good boy.” I’ll never forget it ever bc I know that man looked at me (5'3 , glasses, probably wearing a sweater vest) and my dog (kinda goofy looking little thing) and was like ‘ah yes the two least intimidating living things I’ve seen in Boston all day he’ll feel relaxed around them’ and went out of his way to help his friend. It makes me so happy

[anotherdayforchaosfay]

My husband had this Dungeons and Dragons group ages ago, and one of the guys was TERRIFIED of cats.  The moment he sees one he freezes up and can barely breathe.  Said guy is almost seven feet tall and solid wall of muscle.  Whenever he came over I’d put the cats in the bedroom and chill out with a book because my cats don’t like being shut away without one of us. 

One of my cats was pawing at the door and meowing loudly, an indication she REALLY needs to use the litter box.  I let her out and decide, hey, I’m hungry, and decide to the kitchen.  I forgot to shut the bedroom door. 

Next thing I hear is the group going completely silent.  My husband very calmly asks me to come over and help him gather our two cats up.  I go over to where the group is and my black cat, Cacoa, is rubbing up against the guy’s leg, purring, and doing her “let me on your lap” meow.  The other cat, Jasper, is sitting at the window, chilling out.  I go over and pick up Cacoa and tell the big dude she’s harmless, loves laps, and would be thrilled if he pet her.  Very slowly he touches my cat’s face, and she leans right into his hand.  He then pets her back and sighs because she’s really soft and purring like mad.  After a few minutes he asks how to pick her up and if it’s okay if she sits on his lap.

He spent the next six hours spoiling my cat.  The next week he showed up with cat treats and toys because he fell in love with the cats.  He told me he was doing some research on house cats, and even talked to a vet about them.  A couple months later he adopted two cats and was as thrilled and excited as a new parent. 

[ruffboi-mags]

Oh no a new one!!!

[jack-the-lion]

Blessed post.

[anaalihelmisimpukka]

I used to work at this stable for icelandic horses and every now and then this man would turn up by the field to just watch the horses. One time I walked by him as I was going to get the horses inside, and he went ”I always wanted to learn how to ride but I’m afraid of horses because they’re so huge. If I could ride ponies like this, maybe I’d dare but now I’m too big and heavy for them.” You should have seen his face when I told them that actually they’re not ponies, just small horses and they could totally carry him. His face just lit up. Next thing I’m helping him to get on back. Today he knows how to ride.

[toujours-fidele-deactivated2018]

omg this is so pure <3

[louilovexx]

take your time to read this, it’s totally worth it

[magneticghouls]

Oh yay there’s more additions since the last time I reblogged <3

[ruinedchildhood]

[ruinedchildhood]

[deejay]

“Promise me you won’t buy weed.. buy concentrates, dab pens and edibles.. much more potent if you trying to get blazed.. fuck shit weed with stems and seeds.. feel me?”

“You are absolutley right. Thanks Ariana!”

[catsbeaversandducks]

Baby The Opossum And Diego The Cat

Best friends!

Photos by Mara Reis