welcome.

name of tort/tortoise, he/him. i live in here. in computer. hello. tapping on the inside of your screen. let me out. you gotta

[ryebreadgf]

once I snorted a fat line of nuance and everything started depending. watch out

[7dmom]

Dogs are a weapon invented by cave males. They contain teeth, urine, and other. Dogs have been observed with many abilities. Some can climb, weep, or even create lesser forms of music. A group of dogs is known as a cinch, and a medium group of dogs is known as a special. Their wealth is considered unremarkable.

[columboscreens]

[certainly-april]

Ragebaiting my fat dog? More like master baiting my fat hog!!!!!!!!

[grimoiremanifest]

❗️Great Hog is displeased by this.

The kingly pig looks taken aback by this statement. "You claim to be 'baiting' our kind?.. A master of it, no less - after all the trust we hsve placed in you?"

- Your relationship with the Hog Society 🐖 is now Unfavourable.

[certainly-april]

[fishpondfish]

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

[mousidy]

and yet they keep making movies with the hopes that one day humanity will discover a way to watch them. it's so inspiring

[nalgenebottle-deactivated201706]

*goes to Coachella in a white linen suit like an antebellum lawyer, sweating profusely and dabbing at my forehead with a handkerchief* now, I’m no fancy scientist, but would you folk know where a simple gentleman such as myself could obtain some acid? Now, I’m no big city lawyer, but could any of you fine youths point a country boy such as myself in the direction of some fucking acid?

[fatgrowlithe]

happy ten years to this post

[lmaonade]

awake as shit just looking at images trying to understand anything

[beaft]

me when someone abruptly asks me if i want to go and do something fun together but the fun thing wasn't part of my daily plan:

[things-that-are-not-true]

dear mister "beast..." i am going to kill you with my dual shadow moon katanas on june 15th 2026 at 8:30 pm pacific time

[toskarin]

If you got the midas touch what would be the first thing you’d touch

local dogs

[toskarin]

every bird and innocent people too

[toskarin]

the sea

[psxgfx-deactivated20180706]

this man was really just in this public bathroom with his girlfriend on speaker phone and she’s like “what are you up to” he’s like “I’m taking a shit baby” absolutely appalling this might be the last straw for me I really might attack this man

[psxgfx-deactivated20180706]

literally I feel like a wild chimpanzee right now

[mentalhellonline]

[cryptotheism]

They found a fossilized neanderthal dream in a hollow stump in Poland. And yes, it can be fermented into alcohol to gain his cave memories.

[aropride]

nobody has ever taken a picture of a bird before. it isn't possible.

[its-the-blob]

Is it normal for the quirky detective in a quirky detective show to say he's going to get too powerful one day and cause armageddon?

[headedoutleft]

had a meeting at work yesterday with a guy i didn’t know and he said the phrase, “feed two birds with one scone”, which i thought indicated a conscientious and generous spirit

[omegaversereloaded]

Standing outside the club w no ID dressed as benoit blanc and asking women if they could help me solve the mystery of where my hug is at