Ok, so I was just scrolling through youtube and came across a vid of philip/lukas yesterday and then binged the whole thing in one go and now I am obsessed. Thankfully I found your blog! It was so good but I keep wondering if Lukas actually loved Philip? Philip was so in love and Lukas straight up abused him. I understand how terrified he was and they were probably planning a whole arc about him coming out for the next season but I just need someone to tell me that Lukas loved Philip lolss
omg im so sorry anon i didnt see this until now!! thank you!!! im glad you like the blog!!!!
but sit the FUCK down ladies and gents time for whats probably gonna turn into an essay
i do genuinely believe lukas loved him. lukas did abuse him, and he did some really bad things. not that philip didnt, but lukas….surely takes the cake on Fucked Up Shit for the season
and while it isnt an excuse, his internalized homophobia played a massive role in the way he acted. he was afraid of his feelings and afraid of the reaction and he was angry and confused and had a bunch of shit swirling around in that head of his. because love is absolutely fucking terrifying even when you havent been told its wrong to be attracted to who youre attracted to since you were a child. its really scary, and even in normal situations people lash out and make mistakes (im particularly prone to self sabotage)
so when you add in small town culture, external and internal homophobia, and lol the whole murder/secret/lying/etc thing, it makes sense, to an extent, why lukas did what he did. it isn’t okay, but one of the things about story is starting with characters who are broken and have fundamental misbeliefs that stop them from achieving what they want. lukas’ fundamental disbelief, at least when he meets philip, is that being gay is wrong and his attraction to philip is wrong. and so we do begin with a really fucked up lukas who makes a lot of mistakes.
and while lukas didnt get a full coming out arc, he had a personal arc. we see the way he reacts to the first kiss vs the second vs the last. we see him regret his mistakes. we see him choose philip over a motorbike sponsorship (which was his whole life) ya, we see him do fucked up shit, and in no way do i want to lessen the way he hurt philip, because it was shitty. but he saw his mistakes and he started to try to fix them. just a lil bit.
but also remember we only got 1 season. first season characters are always a mess, and theres always a bunch of untied knots left in the hopes of more seasons. unfortunately, we wont get those, so we dont get to see whether or not lukas atones for his sins or philip makes peace with his past. all we get to see is the beginning of a relationship, one that literally started with death and murder and fear.
like…i went off a lil bit with that so ill shut up soon but i have one more thing to say.
lukas liked philip, a lot, a whole lot. he gave up a lot for him. people express their emotions in different ways, and its hard to figure out how we and others do it, because its all different (love languages look it up people)
from what we see in the time jump, lukas has opened up to philip, and vice versa in a way that seems like it could go in a really nice direction, one where they can let go of what they did.
im so sorry this turned into a Full Ass Analysis but u asked for it and i warned u :) but i hope this helps!!!
