Thinking about Rocky and his PTSD manifesting after the events of canon
Rocky left his mate behind on Erid to save the stars because he was chosen to be Blip-A’s engineer out of all the other Eridians. Rocky was the best of them—that’s a lot of pressure for one rock. Despite probably being the best engineer on Erid, something gets past him and his entire crew dies. When you’re in charge of maintaining the ship, how do you not blame yourself? And when you’re can’t figure out the flaw in your design, how do you know you’re not next?
Rocky who gets scared to go to sleep because of it. Rocky who is scared for Grace to go to sleep because of it.
Going into stasis is already dangerous for Eridians. Not so much anymore because they have houses to protect them, but the instinct and survival norm to watch over each other is still there. Anything can happen—an emergency or radiation eating away at your cells—and you would be none the wiser. You just… don’t wake up.
Rocky waking early out of stasis in a panic because something might be wrong. He wakes up Grace, checks his vitals, and obsesses over the Hail Mary’s computers to make sure they’re not getting sick. His fears become worse after the Taumoeba leaks—if he had checked, it wouldn’t have happened. There’s a real reason to get up and look to make sure everything is in order because crisis has happened before.
Once is a tragedy, two times is a pattern. Rocky won’t let it happen a third time and risk not only Grace’s life, but the populations of both of their planets. His own death wouldn’t be the end of the world—he shouldn’t have survived anyway. Rocky wouldn’t even feel the pain in stasis as his DNA breaks apart. But Grace, a squishy alien whose eyes leak after bumping his lower leg on the lab table, most certainly would.
His incompetency already hurt so many of his own. He can’t let Grace pay the price too.
After waking up to Rocky hitting him with the ball a few times, Grace gives him a Geiger counter to try and ease some of the anxiety.
The human explains it to the best of his ability uses his students as examples. Something bad happened that he couldn’t fix and his brain is stuck there until it realizes it’s okay now. Rocky understands the concept—it’s common for younger Eridians to experience as they become independent—but Rocky is almost 300 years old and is nothing like the human hatchlings Grace teaches. They’d told him he was the best engineer on Erid.
His stasis cycle being disrupted starts to take its toll. It becomes harder to focus and he’s more irritable. He discovers that if he doesn’t eat as much, the need to event enter a dormancy period goes away. He doesn’t have to bother Grace or the anxiety if he just doesn’t eat.
Grace grows more and more concerned as Rocky’s models start to become messier. He’s had many students with IEPs and 504s and always made sure they felt at home in his classroom—letting them work alone if needed, pick their own seats, dimming the lights, and making sure to give a little heads up before they were called on. But he and Rocky are in space, light years away from their homes. There’s no accommodations on the Hail Mary. Grace can’t exactly assure Rocky everything is going to be okay when he isn’t confident in that himself; neither of them are naive beings, there’d be no comfort in the lie.
There’s no comfort or therapy or help in space; no one is coming to save them. They just have to hope that they’re doing things right.