[tendermimi]

— mimi evangeline, excerpt from deus mortis

[philoxeniaa]

so in love i give him my side of the bed, my favorite pillow and blanket, and i wouldnt change it in a second

[philoxeniaa]

i dont like to write love poems because i feel that any romantic notion i could form has already been said and yet whenever i sit down to write i think of you and my heart overflows with ways, words, to tell you how your heart is an extension of mine, how your soul saved mine, how love meant nothing until you, and i always write you a confession anyway

[philoxeniaa]

ask me some questions, lets catch up!

[philoxeniaa]

sorry ive been MIA dont assume i was enjoying life i was actually spiraling to a new hell

[philoxeniaa]

theres no non dramatic way to say that i have been hurt in so many deep ways that my ability to care or be phased by more hurt is more and more fleeting every day.

[philoxeniaa]

chat what does it mean when even high i feel the unbearable sadness

[astereaus]

Mahmoud Darwish, A River Dies of Thirst

[philoxeniaa]

im so quite heartbroken because you were once my dearest friend and i had to let you go because you didn’t seem to have a single once of care or joy for me and my life. i took pride and happiness in our friendship and it really did break my heart to see me be so uncared for and ignored and i don’t even think you realize this. i still hope for you to be well. i feel so bitter when i see a post from you around bc it reminds me how of how little you valued my person and made me feel like i don’t matter :(

i fear the fact that i have no clue who this is does not help the situation. i am deeply sorry my actions caused you to feel this way. i never intended to cause you such heartbreak but despite whatever i intended, it appears i have hurt you regardless. and again, i am so sorry i did. i do not know what more i can do but apologize

[philoxeniaa]

semester so bad i had to get violently high every night just to find the light at the end of the tunnel

[philoxeniaa]

one night i was with my boyfriend and his friends, all pretty drunk, and one of them was giving him shit about somethin and i looked at the friend and told them to take him as he was or not at all. it prompted my boyfriend to go on a rant about how you should never have to change yourself to be with someone. i knew then, more than i already had, that i love the right person because he has always showed me who he was in the most authentic way and that he loved me for the person i was and never ever considered asking me to change. you deserve someone who loves you as you are. never settle for less

[philoxeniaa]

breaking my silence to say that i hate people who are mean on purpose. if you intentionally plan your actions knowing or hoping to make someone feel less than, i hate you. and truthfully there is no person in my life i hate, so that says a lot

[philoxeniaa]

its weird how something that happened over seven years ago can still linger. i dont miss him. its rare that i even think of him. yet he is the reason i believe i cannot be emotionally vulnerable with anyone without risking losing them. seven years and i still havent figured this out

[philoxeniaa]

i think my boyfriends biggest green flag is that he is willing to sit in his room with me at a party because he understands my anxiety but wants me to be included than be there without me

[tuxedodan]

yeah I know them we went to tumblr together

[our--impossible--love]

[lunamonchtuna]

— Benjamin Alire Sáenz, “To the Desert” from Dark and Perfect (El Paso: Cinco Puntos Press, 1995) (via lunamonchtuna)