Gengar

Hello! My name is Phil Lester, I'm from Manchester (originally) but I currently live in London with my best friend and crime fighting buddy Dan. I seemed to have developed the power to read minds and it's not as fun as you might think, you see, people don't think nice things. They think mean things. RP Blog

[philreadshisownmind]

The Night Is Loud|| Phan

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Dan deepend the kiss a little and pulled Phil closer to himself. He didn't want this kiss to end. He wanted it to last forever. Phil always makes everything so much easier for Dan. He makes everything worth fighting for.

[philreadshisownmind]

Phil smiled softly into the kiss, his hands resting in Dan's hair. He liked this, being around Dan, kissing him, just cuddling with him. He could just forget that he was a super powered freak and he could actually be a normal person. Without the voices, without the power.

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My life doesn't have a meaning.

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I did? Well that’s good to hear.

[philreadshisownmind]

Yeah, it actually was silent.

[philreadshisownmind]

The Night Is Loud|| Phan

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Dan looked into his eyes and bit his lower lip. "I'm sorry that you have to go through this. I'm sorry that I can't take a part of your pain and make it my own. If I only could" he said and put his hands on each side of Phil's cheeks and smiled softly. "You mean everything to me. Without you I would be no one. I would be lost and confused. You complete me you really do" Dan said and leaned in to kiss him.

[philreadshisownmind]

"I wouldn't wish for you to take the pain Dan, this is my weird burden to bare. It's my bane" Phil kissed his forehead lightly, letting his lips linger. He kissed Dan back lovingly, curling his arms around Dan's head as for the first time on a bad night, everything was quiet. He didn't know how it happened, or why, but it was silent whenever their lips were touching.

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My life doesn't have a meaning.

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I just wanted to be there.

[philreadshisownmind]

Yeah and you helped, it was quieter.

[philreadshisownmind]

The Night Is Loud|| Phan

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Dan shook his head. "All my life I have been a nobody. I can't get anything right. I can't help the only boy I have ever been able to love. I can't save people in time. And I can't save myself from the monster inside of me. The ticking timebomb that is ready to explode. The agony and pain. The guilt and depression. I'm the weakest of you all. I'm the weakest link" he said and put his hand on his own chest. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't do anything. All he could do was cry. "You don't deserve me" he said.

[philreadshisownmind]

"I do deserve you" Phil whispered into his hair, "You don't know how much you mean to me. You make everything worth suffering through, the voices, sometimes getting stuck, getting left behind on missions because I'm not super enough. It's all you making it better" He finished, tilting Dan's head to look into his eyes, "If I hadn't met you Dan, I probably wouldn't be here. You get to choose when your power is used, you could ignore it and be normal. I don't have that luxury, I can't turn it off. Before I met you, I was getting ready to end it all because it was too much."

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My life doesn't have a meaning.

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I’m just sorry about yesterday. I.. I was to much.

[philreadshisownmind]

No you weren't. You looked after me when my head was hurting.

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My life doesn't have a meaning.

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I complain about everything. I make you sad. I suck!

[philreadshisownmind]

Everyone is allowed to complain Dan, it's human nature.

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My life doesn't have a meaning.

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I’m sorry for being the worst boyfriend ever.

[philreadshisownmind]

What do you mean? I don't understand.

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My life doesn't have a meaning.

[philreadshisownmind]

Yes it does, every life has a meaning. Some are just harder to work out that others.

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I just want to be a normal person. Not with superpowers.

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You deserve someone better than me. All I do is bring you down.

[philreadshisownmind]

Dan, if you wanna go, I'm not going to stop you as that's what you think is best. You don't bring me down, I bring myself down by remembering that I can never get out of this, I can't switch my power off. It's always on.

[philreadshisownmind]

The Night Is Loud|| Phan

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Dan shook his head. "All my life I have been a nobody. I can't get anything right. I can't help the only boy I have ever been able to love. I can't save people in time. And I can't save myself from the monster inside of me. The ticking timebomb that is ready to explode. The agony and pain. The guilt and depression. I'm the weakest of you all. I'm the weakest link" he said and put his hand on his own chest. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't do anything. All he could do was cry. "You don't deserve me" he said.

[philreadshisownmind]

"I do deserve you" Phil sat in front of him, crossed legged. "Dan, no-one can help me. My power is hard to control and very unhelpful. Hank won't even let me leave the compound unless I'm going home. I'm the weak useless link" he told the man he loved, kissing the side of his head. "I'll save you from the monster, I will. I will kill it before it can kill you" He promised, kissing Dan's face despite the pain, he would hide his discomfort from Dan from now on.

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I just want to be a normal person. Not with superpowers.

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I run fast. That’s nothing. I can live a normal life if I wanted to.

[philreadshisownmind]

Yes you could. I'm glad that at least you could have a chance at normal.

[philreadshisownmind]

The Night Is Loud|| Phan

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Dan smiled when he heared thoes words. He kissed Phil back and put his arms around him. "Confused. Scared. I don't belong here" when thoes thoughts came he felt how his heart started to beat faster. He pulled away from the kiss and got out of the bed. He got weak in his legs and he felt how they gave in. Dan fell to his knees and the tears started to rush down his face. "Why am I not good enough? I dropped out from uni. I'm such a weak loser" he thought to himself.

[philreadshisownmind]

Phil was slightly confused when Dan made to leave, but swung off the bed when the boy collapsed. He shushed Dan, ignoring his own pain to help Dan. The thoughts were swarming, Dan's being the loudest due to the emotion they carried. It was almost torture to be so close, but he pushed his headache to the back of his mind. "You are perfect, you save lives, you kick people's butts, you're awesome" He listed.

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I just want to be a normal person. Not with superpowers.

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I just don’t belong here Phil. I..I can’t.

[philreadshisownmind]

You belong here more than I do. All I can do is read minds and even then only on a good day. You can actually fight crime.

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I just want to be a normal person. Not with superpowers.

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I don’t wanna be here anymore. I don’t.. I..

[philreadshisownmind]

Don't go Dan, I would be lost without you. I'm not allowed to leave, you could.

[philreadshisownmind]

The Night Is Loud|| Phan

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Dan woke up from his little trance but had still shut down his emotions. He wrapped his arms around Phil to keep him in the bed. "Try to fight back Phil. Just fight back!" he shouted to the older boy. He didn't want to feel so weak. He didn't want to feel so worthless. But yet he did. He did everyday. Dan had a little trick. A trick that he had been taught to do when it's important. To open his mind for Phil when Dan feels like it. So Dan closed his eyes and felt how the block got lifted but it was still there. "Worthless. Weak. I wanna dissapear" was the first thoughts Dan thought to himself.

[philreadshisownmind]

Phil felt the block lift, it was like lifting a flood gate. He could hear the thoughts that he couldn't usually hear dragging him away from the fight due to their proximity to him. He heard the words, clear as day, could see how often they were thought. He started to regain his own sight, blinking several times as he hid in Dan's thoughts. He wondered if Dan put the block down, what would happen, but he didn't want to find out. "T-Thank you. You're not worthless or weak and if you go, I'll be very upset" Phil whispered, lightly connecting their lips.

[supertubedan-blog]

I just want to be a normal person. Not with superpowers.

[philreadshisownmind]

I know how that feels. What's up?