PHINKS INTERVIEW
INTERVIEWER: Hello Phinks! Thank you for joining us! First off, I’d like to wish you a belated happy birthday! How old are you now? PHINKS: *Looks around the empty studio* When did I get here?! INTERVIEWER: *Laughs* Anyways, we’ve got some great questions from your fans
PHINKS: *Fails to hold in a smirk* Oh yeah? Well, I can’t let my fans down. *Leans back comfortably in chair* Ask away.
INTERVIEWER: *Clears throat* SO, our first question is a bit of a deep one...Phinks, what do you look for in a partner?
PHINKS: How is that deep? That’s easy. I look for a partner with good long range attacks. I like to get up close and personal with the bastards I fight. Having a partner who can do the “clean up” if needed is a weight off my shoulders.
INTERVIEWER: I don’t think that’s what they meant by partner...BUT ANYWAYS...What is your favorite social media?
PHINKS: Social..media? Why are you using a bunch of weird science terms?! I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. Are you trying to make me look st--
INTERVIEWER: *Fans hands in an attempt to calm the wild himbo* It’s...nevermind. Um, what’s your biggest pet peeve?
PHINKS: Nothing pisses me off more than when people cough or sneeze without covering their mouths. If you’re going to be a gross bastard, you can DO IT IN HELL!
INTERVIEWER: Woah! Okay! *Coughs quietly into bend of arm*
PHINKS: ALSO when people leave dirty dishes in the sink. What’s the point?! I hate the bullshit excuse of “letting it soak”. Just scrub harder, dammit!
INTERVIEWER: You heard it folks! Wash your dishes! Now about the group you’re in, the “Phantom Troupe”-- who do you get along with the most and the least..not counting Hisoka.
PHINKS: *Rolls eyes* Well there goes one of my answers...Feitan is the only one I can really stand for long periods of time. He doesn’t talk too much, and he doesn’t use a bunch of big words like Chrollo likes to sometimes..Uh..least...probably Uvogin. Bastard is always trying to fight me...or kiss me. It’s weird.
INTERVIEWER: If this next questions is too hard to answer feel free to say “pass”
PHINKS: *SCOFFS* Nothing is too hard for me! I back away from nothing!
INTERVIEWER: What was the last thing that made you cry?
PHINKS: *Goes quiet*
INTERVIEWER: Phinks?...are you..?
PHINKS: M...Marley & Me.
INTERVIEWER: What?
PHINKS: NEXT QUESTION!
INTERVIEWER: Now these next questions were asked by several of your fans, and we’re all looking forward to your answer.
PHINKS: Sounds fun.
INTERVIEWER: Where are your eyebrows? What happened to your eyebrows? What do you think about people with big bushy eyebrows? Do you love them? Do you hate them? Would you steal their eyebrows to use them on yourself?
PHINKS: WHAT THE HELL?!
INTERVIEWER: ANSWER THE QUESTIONS, PHINKS!
PHINKS: Why are people so obsessed with eyebrows?! They’re just overrated pieces of hair over your eyes! My eyes are LITERALLY gold, and NO ONE mentions that! What’s with you people?!
INTERVIEWER: WHERE ARE YOUR EYEBROWS?
PHINKS: I DON’T WANNA--
INTERVIEWER: PHINKS!
PHINKS: People used to say my eyebrows looked...girly... So, one day, when I was YOUNGER AND DIDN’T KNOW A DAMN THING...I tried to make them look more manly. But they kept looking dumber and dumber...so I pulled them all out thinking they’d grow back better. But they never did. THERE! Are you happy, you sick bastards?! *Holds in tears*
INTERVIEWER: Thank you for sharing that story, Phinks. I have one last question for you: If you could change anything of your life, what would you change?
PHINKS: *Bites lip* MY EYEBROWS! *Runs out of studio*
THANK YOU to everyone who submitted some questions for our King Himbo! I had a lot of fun with this, and I hope you all enjoyed as well <3
