Hold On @phoenixbanana - Tumblr Blog

curseworm

human brain: sometimes we need to do boring things with no gratification or immediate benefit

monkey brain: absolutely not. die

lemonsharks

Human brain: ok what if we eat chips while we do the boring thing

monkey brain: I’m suspicious but keep talking

amazingspaceship

throwing my hat into the ring

tastefullyoffensive

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veshtabul

Ok I’m losing my shit right now because I just witnessed the sickest burn a 7 year old could ever deliver. I’m just sitting here at the park and there’s a group of little girls near me. They decided to play ‘Disney Princesses’ and this one girl who probably thinks she’s the ‘leader’ was assigning each one a character. Clearly she was choosing them based on looks, as a brunette she was Snow White, the 2 blonde ones got to be Cinderella and Elsa… So when she got to this little Asian girl she obviously chose Mulan. So the Asian girl is like “Why am I Mulan? She’s not a princess”. The leader says in a nasty tone “Yeah but you have small eyes like her”. The Asian girl went quiet for a few seconds but then proceeded with the straightest face ever: “Then I think you should be one of Cinderella’s sisters”. The leader tilts her head and goes “Why?”, so my little heroine goes “because you’re ugly like them”

hedgehog1029

mulan is definitely a princess and you can’t tell me otherwise

do you ever get so annoyed at everything that you start to get pissed off at even little things like a spoon clinking against a bowl or sounds of people talking

alternativeblkgal

I think it’s called sensory overload. It’s really common in people with anxiety

reynabeth-deactivated20180821-d

it can also be a result of sleep deprivation, stress, or ever dehydration !!

mightbeinsaneforever

thanks i thought i was just a bitch

lotterywinnersonacid-deactivate

Today a student emailed over a draft of his essay on 1984 and had clearly used a thesaurus on every single word, and how I know this is because the the party slogan ‘Big Brother is watching you’ had become ‘Enormous Sibling is viewing you’ and I lauged so hard I cried

mousegard

you: big brother

me, an intellectual: enormous sibling

athetos

My stepfather combined “that’s a tough nut to crack” and “that’s a hard pill to swallow” and ended up saying “that’s a tough nut to swallow” and I haven’t functioned properly since i heard him say it

sharabp

Throughly enjoying other restaurants reacting to IHOb

snorlaxatives

i can’t believe there are people that are still in high school like… it’s literally 2018 how have you not grown up yet damn

theeidiot79-deactivated20180115

Are you perhaps some sort of idiot?

snorlaxatives

thecheesyllama

So whenever my hearing aids run out of battery, a deep-ass man’s voice goes off right next to my ear drum yelling “B A T T E R Y”, and, every time, without fail, giving me a minor heart attack.

And since my hearing aids aren’t synched for when I replace the battery, the left hearing aid will go off one afternoon, and I’ll know that the right one will go off the following night.

Yesterday afternoon, I replaced my left hearing aid battery.

Now it is tomorrow night. Now I sit, and I wait, for that monotone-ass motherfucker in my head to yell “BATTERY” in my ear, again leading to my gradual heart failure. It is only so long before my heart cannot take this repeated occurrence of panic.

I sit.

I wait.

He is coming.