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@phoenixsierra-blog
SEND MY MUSE ONE
☎: For a drunk phone call.
✝: For a confession from my muse to yours
☁: For a reaction from my muse suddenly being kissed by yours.
♏: For a nickname my muse has given yours.
❤: For a gift from my muse to yours.
✈: For a destination our muses would go on vacation to.
✿: For my muses favorite thing about yours.
ღ: For my muse showing up to yours door in the middle of the night.
Hello, yes, the party has arrived.
Ummmmm, can you not steal my party thunder for like three seconds, please?
Can people not use their hands to do it themselves?
Apparently, it's not socially acceptable to reach down there and scratch away.
Would it be weird to say I love you? I’m investing in your company. Put me down for at least 75%.
You could totally be my business partner. WE COULD BE BILLIONAIRES AND I CAN GET MY OWN PET CHIMP. OR TWELVE OF THEM.
Something tells me those won’t be too popular.
But think about all the people who don't like scratching their butts in public.
I would totally buy those. I would buy a trillion pairs of those.
Bro, I could totally give you a discount because that's a lot of pants you'd be buying.
Why did you have to post that burger, Phoenix. Why.
I AM THE BURGER QUEEN.
I think I'm going to invent a pair of pants that automatically scratches your butt when it's itchy.
text @ Nora
Nora: I'd really appreciate it if you could somehow lose this number. Thank you.
Phoenix: okay at the count of three i'll rub my head and close my eyes and maybe i'll forget it
Phoenix: DID IT WORK
text @ Nora
Nora: Name's not ringing a bell, dear. Someone must've given you my number because they didn't want to talk to you. I can't say I blame them. I can see they evaded what would have been a very problematic relationship.
Phoenix: [sends a picture of his nipples]
Phoenix: fUCK that was supposed to be my face
Phoenix: well do they look familiar too u
text @ Nora
Phoenix: i have everyone's numbers it's a perk of being an omega chi
Nora: Who is this? I don't normally give Omega's my telephone number.
Phoenix: it's phoenix idk im supposed send my bros texts about my whereabouts bc i tend to get lost when im drunk af
Phoenix: must've sent a mass text by mistake whoopsies
text @ Nora
Phoenix: is the krusty krab??
Phoenix: NO THIS IS PATRICK
Nora: How did you get this number?
Phoenix: i have everyone's numbers it's a perk of being an omega chi
text @ Nora
Phoenix: i'm at the pizza hut
Phoenix: i'm at the taco bell
Phoenix: i'm at the combination pizza hut and taco bell
Nora: I'm sorry. You've dialed an incorrect number.
Phoenix: is the krusty krab??
Phoenix: NO THIS IS PATRICK
i’m at that pizza hut. i got that pizza gut. i got that pizza butt, i’m at the pizza hut.
text @ _____
Phoenix: i'm at the pizza hut
Phoenix: i'm at the taco bell
Phoenix: i'm at the combination pizza hut and taco bell
