Thoughts about turning to a “deity” for strength
DISCLAIMRER- This is all opinion, but due to the number of thoughts that I have on the subject, I am simplifying how I am expressing my opinion. It may come across as stating facts, but it is not. It is opinion.
I sometimes hear people say that they turn to god or to religion for strength. That they have come across situations in their life that they do not have the strength to overcome without outside help.
There is truth to this. And I am not just talking about, “I need to convince a friend to come over to move my couch” sort of situation. I am talking about the situations where all of life is coming down on top of you, “-$600 in your bank account on a regular basis, $50,000 in debt, working 60+ hours a week, trying to go to school and maintain a good enough GPA that you don't get kicked out, unless you finish these last three semesters almost perfectly, then the last 4 years have been a waste, you are getting 2-4 hours of sleep a night, you have an abusive roommate, your health issues are building up, and now you are sick all the time”. This is the kind of situation where you will probably have to turn to something external for help, because if you don't, its likely that you will take your own life.
The kind of person who can get through the above situation with no help has either an insane amount of internal strength, or is to delirious to be able to care.
But excluding the superfreaks and the delirious, your average person will need help. Many people will probably turn to deity of some sort. This is all fine and good, as long as they keep it to themselves. The real issue arises when they start trying to proselytize.
For simplicities sake, lets call the object of strength Fred. It can be a god, or a rock, or even your favorite tv show.
Because what is needed in that kind of situation is internal strength, there are ways of enhancing it. It is well known that if you can get other people to join you in a difficult to maintain task, like a diet or a regular workout regiment, it makes the task easier. This extends to Fred too. If you can get other people to accept Fred too, then it makes Fred more powerful in your mind. Enhancing your internal strength.
BUT, this is a double edged sword. What is given can be taken too. If the people you prostelize Fred to reject him, then it runs the risk of making Fred weaker in your mind. This can lower your internal strength and make it so that you cannot handle as much stress as you could before. It would be like having a friend that is bringing doughnuts every day to lunch while you are on a diet. And they are telling you that they think diets are a waste of time. It makes the diet harder.
Now this is not as much of an issue if your entire sense of internal strength is not based off of Fred. It might cause some arguing, but at the end of the day, you will probably be ok.
Now lets take it one step further. Religion likes to teach people that they can only find strength through Fred, they will try to hide it, but it is innate in the doctrine. (the Abrahamic religions, anyway, I am not as familiar with the others). This doctrine creates people whos entire sense of strength comes from Fred, and others believing in Fred.
Now the religiously devout are able to handle a lot, potentially more than the people who do not accept any sort of Fred. But it is a shaky foundation, because any sort of challenge to Fred will destroy their ability to handle the stresses of their life due to what I discussed earlier. If they ever loose Fred, then (in their mind) they lose the ability to survive.
I think this is why there are so many (Abrahamic) Religiously based wars. You have people whos entire sense of survival is tied up in others believing in their Fred. And this is why they cant accept other peoples religion, because “that's not Fred, that Tim!” They cant get the enhanced sense of inner strength from Tim, and in fact knowing that people have a Tim leads to a lower sense of inner strength for the Fred people. It would be like having a hedonism restaurant right next to an extreme diet restaurant.
Don't rely on Fred to the point that you cripple yourself. Whatever your Fred is, make sure that you can live your day to day without it. Fred is supposed to be a pick me up to get you through rough patches. Not your entire sense of inner strength. This applies if Fred is your family or significant other too. You have to understand and accept that there may come a day where you no longer have this Fred in your life. And that is ok. You can be ok. You can still live a good life, and it will be different with Fred gone, but it doesn't have to be any less wonderful. Just different, and don't be afraid to find a new Fred. :)
I recommend a pet rock. If you lose it, its really easy to get another one.